Chapter 16

Cold. He felt the coldness awake him, and his first thought was to press himself into her warmth. As his mind awoke more, he realized that she was no longer there, with him. She was warm and safe back at the palace, and that should have soothed him a little, and it did. However it hurt. It hurt to know he was without her, and someplace deep inside he had the distinct feeling that she was hurting for the same reason. Or was there another?

He lifted his head to the rising sun, and glanced at his watch. 08:47am. Joseph could not remember the last time he had slept so late, having always been a morning person. This was his time to frolic. Today he didn't feel much like that. His body ached, both from the past few days and from sleeping in an awkward position on the hard rocks. So his age had finally caught up to him. He snickered a little at that notion, for it had been a private joke between himself and his best friend, who was surly in some pain as well this morning.

Joseph stripped himself down, and slid into the hot water slowly. As it blushed his skin to a blotching red, he could already feel some relief inside his body. The bubbles tingled as they slid up his body to the surface, and Joseph tried to relax and get the best that Mother Nature could offer him right now. At least part of him could benefit from her. The rest could only heal under her hands and heart.

It was rough enough, being in pain, but being fussed over had made Clarisse quite upset. There were certain things that she had always done herself, and prided in doing them alone. Now the time had come when even those things were no longer private.

Clearly ill-tempered this morning, her ladies maids had done their duty and made their escape, knowing she would call if needy, whether she wanted to or not. They had left her picking at her breakfast, or rather playing with her fork, stabbing at the plate of food, trying to unleash some of her frustrations. It hadn't helped. Her ankle still pained with any pressure, her arm throbbed constantly under the casting, and her heart was barely holding itself together. Her only means of ease was her simple cup of hot tea.

She picked up the notes left for her, after choosing to avoid them for the past half hour. 'Sheila Motaz wishes to visit for lunch'; Clarisse sighed, knowing Sheila had a way with words and would make her feel a little better before leaving. That she would commit to. 'French Ambassador sends his well wishes'; "Well, he just may have a heart", Clarisse spoke to herself. 'Shades is improving, physician has scheduled therapy to begin the first of the week'; Clarisse sighed loudly this time, a slight weight being lifted anyway. She should really manage to get herself over to see him. 'Amanda's services have been scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.'; This sigh wasn't a happy one. Clarisse had grown quite close to the dear red-headed lady during their four years together. Her death was quite a shock, to say the least. 'Maybe I was such a fool to believe a plane crash could be so easy', she thought. She laid that note aside, unsure of her answer. She knew Shades would be hurt by that as well, but he would be unable to attend. Maybe that was for the best. No one knew of his injury. Joseph would know how to handle it. "Joseph", she lightly repeated. If she knew where he was...

Clarisse picked up the phone and speed-dialed downstairs. "Who's in charge of security?"

"Why, Joseph, Your Majesty," a voice on the other end answered.

"Yes, Joseph, I know...I mean until he returns."

"Shades is insistent on doing his duty, madam."

"Would you have Olivia sent up to my suite."

"Immediately."

"Thank you." She would have to go see him. Clarisse was never one to be in the dark over matters. She couldn't help but need to know what was being done, how it was being handled, and where Joseph was. The latter being her first priority, of course.

"Your Majesty!" Shades tried pulling himself up in bed, but wincing at the pain, Clarisse held up her hand halting him.

"Lie down. There's no need for all that formality, not with both of us in practically the same sad state." She sit, aided by Olivia who had helped her hobble down the corridor to his room.

"Joseph would have a fit if he knew you were up walking on that foot," Shades commented.

"Well, Joseph isn't here right now, is he? Besides, the doctor says the faster I get back using it, the faster it'll heal. Now, about you..."

"Oh, I'll be fine. Doc says I just need to rest my back muscles...they were bruised heavily in the crash, along with a broken rib, but other than that, I'm fine."

"Good. Shades, "she sighed at the thought, "Amanda's funeral has been scheduled.

"I know. Her father came to see me. She and I were to be married." He became silent.

"I didn't know that. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not going. I don't think you should either. It would look too suspicious...all our injuries, and her death."

"I agree. I want to though. I thought maybe when both of us are back to ourselves, well, we could visit the grave site together."

"I'd like that, very much." Clarisse nodded, knowing now that pain plagued the whole world, not only herself.

For a few moments they let silence fill the room. It was a silence which said a whole lot more than any words could. Clarisse reached out and took his hand, and for the first time really knew the man before her.

"You want to know where he is." Shades finally spoke. Clarisse looked up to him, and was quite surprised to his knowledge of her thoughts. "I have been thinking a lot about him. It's quite funny, you see, right now I don't know where he is." He stopped to take in her reaction.

"You don't know?" Her eyes wide, either with fear or worry, maybe both. "I don't understand...what's so funny?"

"You see...when Joseph left to find you, after he had made sure I was on my way out, I knew he wouldn't be coming out of those woods without you. It was between him and myself...but a very serious matter, one Joseph was sure to uphold. Your Majesty, he could never go on without you. And now that you are here, safe and sound, it seems Joseph is still someplace within those woods...without you. I don't understand it myself. I was informed that when the cleanup was about finished, he took off on foot alone...back into the woods, and no one has seen him since.

"He wasn't coming out without me?" She believed him, oh yes, she believed him. That sounded like Joseph. Yet, Clarisse couldn't help but deny the fact that he would be willing to kill himself just because she had died. "He was really going to..."

"Yes. I know it. He meant it. It was in his eyes, his whole soul. He had never been more serious in his life. He loves you like no other...so much more than he even cares for himself." Shades squeezed her hand. "Did something happen...out there when you were with him?"

"No...yes...well I don't know how to answer that. Regardless, I know why he has not come back. At least I think I do." Shades gave her a serious look. "He can't face me again. Shades I think I know where he might be...can you send a few men to bring him in...and I mean bring him in...regardless whether or not he wants to come?"

"It'll take more than a few...the plane is about taken care of...it'll take another hour or so...after that I can send the whole lot there to bring him in, if they can find him."

"There's hot springs not far from the crash site...it took us over, I'd say,eight hours to reach them...but he was carrying me." Shades nodded.

"It'll take them less thanfour then, southwest of the site. I'll call right now."

Shades gave the orders, Clarisse resting her head on his bedside. She had a whole lot of thinking to do before she saw him again; if she saw him again. It was only intuition that told her where he might be. It was the closest he could get to her right now, and it made sense that he would be there.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "I hope he's there...I have to find him."

"You think he'll do something...drastic? But that just doesn't make sense...I mean you're safe now...Joseph would be relieved."

"Our Joseph cannot live with guilt."