Greed had been having a hard time finding anything to do. First for all, Kimblee was still depressed over the loss of the cooking challenge, and on edge since he was on the line, so he wasn't at all up for any fun, be it beating up on things, getting drunk, or for that matter anything else Greed's, ahem, mind could come up with. So he went, looking for something to do, and of course, being the good writer I am, I can't leave him to be bored… So he discovered the Playstation 2.
Soon he was engrossed in playing "Full Metal Alchemist, The Broken Angel." In fact, so engrossed, that he didn't even notice the crowd of fellow house guests gathering around him. Envy swung his legs over the arm of the couch and perched, watching as Greed attempted to kill train highjackers with stone spikes.
"You really suck at that." He said nonchalantly, and Greed glared at him. In the time it took for his to do so, he was hit twice. Ed, watching, shrugged.
"Izumi's better at stone spikes that Al or I am…" He admitted, and Wrath, who was hanging off Law's neck, looked confused.
"Shouldn't she be here too?" Wrath asked. Envy shook his head.
"Nope… she'd kill everyone here…" Al said. "She's still steamed over Ed being in the military… and she HATES you, Greed." Greed nodded absently as he finally got to the end of the train, and slipped back down into the cars. Alphonse came running out on the screen, yelling for him. Greed blinked.
"Hmm… oh! More tutorial!" he said, and was informed of how to control Al. "Wow… this takes free will to an all time low." He sent Al on a tackle, and was rewarded with a yell of 'listen to me!' Greed started cackling. "Oh Fiend (1), that's Al alright."
Alphonse pouted, somehow, and walked off, clanking.
Al walked outside and wondered if this was really worth it… true he would be getting a philosopher's stone without any sacrifice of human life (sort of…) but he also had to live in a house with Envy and Kimblee, who he still couldn't believe hadn't blown up more than just a toaster and a chair… Did this mean Kimblee had restraint?
An explosion and rush of maniacal laughter from the other room answered that, and Al groaned.
He was about to go out and see what Kimblee had blown up when he noticed a kitten sleeping outside. Instantly the "Al-Kitty-Saving-Sense" kicked on, and he went running, breaking both the window and the wall… and sending him falling several stories. Nevertheless he jumped up and ran for the kitten, scooping it up and popping it inside him. Then he slowly looked around and made sure Ed didn't see. Then he got heart eyes and went off skipping.
The kitten continued to sleep.
Archer had been more or less behaving, but as anyone who knows Archer's basic personality knew… sooner or later he would be pistol whipping and working on getting Kimblee to blow up something HE told him to. Other than the couch of course. (Now you know what Kimmie blew up.) He was just about to load one of his many guns (some of which he had swiped from Hawkeye… probably not a great idea, huh?) when he heard the mewing from The bed behind him and turned around to see Alphonse sitting innocently on the bed, beside a large, Alphonse shaped hole in the wall, which was leaking cold air.
Archer blinked.
"You don't have a cat do you?" He asked slowly. Al looked innocent, and shook his head no, as his belly gave a purr. "Then why is your stomach…" he started and Al gave a shrug.
"Don't know. Maybe I'm hungry."
Archer nodded slowly.
"Well… I'm allergic to cats." he admitted, then went back to cleaning the gun. Outside, Kimblee grinned and went off to procure lots of cats.
Ed slowly approached the bathroom, carrying his robe and shampoo. Easy did it… no need to rush, no one else was around and he would finally get his shower. He moved, and nearly had the door open, when a blur went by and Havoc went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
Ed swore, and walked off, growling about filling Havoc's cigarettes with some sort of explosive substance.
"Yeah!" Winry and Sloth said, clapping as Armstrong held the charred remains of the couch over his head and flexed his other arm, there was much sparklies. A group of other solders stood around lightly scoffing. Pride was wondering just what it was that Armstrong had that made Sloth so admiring.
And Kimblee… well, he was getting cats.
"Wow!" They said as he picked up the TV with the other arm, and flexed both above his head. Wrath ate a sparklie. It tasted like sweat, and he spat it back out. Envy laughed and picked one up, throwing it to whack poor Ed, who was still holding his bath artifacts and glaring. Envy sighed, and in an inexplicable show of affection, went over and ran Havoc out of the bathroom for Ed, then went back to watching the behemoth
Ed was elated, and ran for the bathroom, but just as he got there, Fury ran in front of him and into the open door. Ed threw a fit, and Envy laughed. Finally he understood why you help people…. So you can laugh at their pain and discomfort later.
Martel was not in a good mood, as if her life wasn't hard enough, what with following Greed around admiringly, and then getting over the fact that Law and Dorchette became Scooby snacks for some REALLY big man eating monster man. Now she was stuck in a house with, not only Kimblee who she vowed to kill for betraying Greed, but the monster man, and everyone else she didn't get along with. On the other hand…
She looked over at Law and started blushing uncontrollably. Things could be worse; at least they were back, through some strange miracle. And true, Kimblee was much easier to deal with when he was busy plotting chaos against other people Martel didn't like. In fact, with the flour in his hair, and the smudge of soot, he was ALMOST cute enough to give up killing. Martel sighed, and yawned, making a hissing noise as she did.
She walked over to the window, and was rewarded by the sight of Elicia swinging on a tire swing, made from a tire that really shouldn't have been around, seeing as there were no cars in the immediate vicinity. She leaned up against the window sill and frowned a little as she watched Maes happily pushing his little princess, and Elicia was squealing in laughter. Martel turned away and sighed. She was too old to start having all these maternal urges now.
She decided to go get drunk.
Pinako Rockbell was worried. Winry seemed happy enough here, true, but really, this was no place for a budding young lady… As if to confirm the old woman's thoughts, Roy went running past buck naked, yelling about his heat seeking missile. Pinako's poor eyes widened, and she shrieked. Roy didn't notice, and soon was off jumping and whooping.
Pinako began to think again, and, when she was thinking, she cooked. So she went into the kitchen and started taking out various items from the cupboards, mixing this and that until she was mixing up something chocolaty and good smelling. No one seemed to notice her yet, and she took out a cookie sheet and a spoon. She was putting the first batch of cookies in the oven when Ed came running in and relieved himself in the sink. So far, this was the second time the poor old woman had seen someone's winker. And, like a good grandmother, the whacked Ed's with a spatchula. He went off, whimpering and cursing, to the laughter of both Lust and Envy, who were having a pretty good day, all in all.
She was taking that batch out of the oven when the entire house seemed to notice the cookie smell and filed in. Wrath was still hanging off Law's neck, unknown to the behemoth of a chimera. Wrath put on his very best sparkly eyed, pouting face, and walked in front of Pinako, who patted his head and gave him a cookie. He ran off happily munching.
Next to come in was Kimblee, who had a cat under each arm, and two riding his ponytail. He smiled, and Pinako popped a cookie in his mouth, defying gravity. (Tiny Pinako… Tall Kimmie….)
Of course, when Greed saw people were getting cookies, he ran in. He made one of his hands the shield and happily snatched a hot one off the sheet.
Envy saw Greed with the cookie, and wanted one desperately, she he tried the shiny eyed look, and was rewarded greatly, with two cookies. He waved them in Greed's face, and Greed chomped a bite out of one of them.
Pinako sighed and put in the next batch. Kimblee walked out again with the cats, Greed got comfortable at the massive kitchen table, and Envy ran away, clutching his cookies. Soon Ed was in, now in a cup for good measure.
She gave him the last of the first batch and frowned. She still had no idea what to do about Winry's lady hood. (Meaning her manners, don't EVEN get nasty.)
She needed to bake some more.
(1) Well… he couldn't exactly say "Oh God" now could he?