Before
I am cornered in the
bathroom and get my face bashed in, a knee in the stomach, a kick in
the kidneys - the usual. I have a split lip and the beginnings of a
black eye. I clean myself up before entering the hallway. I watch her
- and her shining blond hair - walk untouched through the crowd. She
walks alone. As she passes me, her think pink lips spread into a
smile across her face. My heart jumps into my throat and my insides
don't settle back down for an hour.
War
I tag along with all of
them mostly because I have no one else and partly because she is
gorgeous. Cassie has pity for me but I ignore it. Marco thinks I'm a
loser and doesn't try to hide it. They all think I'm crazy when I say
I see a UFO. We are all frightened and don't know what to do. I can't
leave the alien even when he asks me to - something draws me to him.
But when I am finally pushed away I look at her and she is crying.
But she smiles at me through her tears - she wanted to stay with him,
too.
Lunch
She suggests bringing
patio furniture so she won't have to sit on the cold, wet grass. I
tell her that might be a little suspicious. Giving up, she collapses
on the ground and I flutter down from the tree. She has brought me a
hamburger - she spends her Saturdays having lunch with a hawk. Even
in my hawk body, her laugh makes my insides twist.
During
I am pulled through
time time like a rag doll through a puddle. I watch the first
President cross a river with my friend wearing his extra pair of
boots. I watch my leader get shot in the head. I fly around the
bottom of a boat. She sprouts fur and climbs the ropes. I watch as
she is split in half and I cannot help her. But when she reappears,
human and whole, I kiss her.
Battle
I am always the
look-out - there is only so much damage a red-tailed hawk can do. She
has firepower and lets me ride on her shoulder or back or any
convenient spot when we are waiting. She inflicts damage and I fly
around only to be crushed by a piece of ceiling. I can hear her
desperate thought-speech and her angry roars. My wing is twisted
underneath me but the plaster is lifted off me. Oh my god, oh my
god. Are you okay? Always.
Alone
Sometimes it is hard to
sleep. I fight the dead night air for some altitude. I can barely see
- I'm not used to that. It is still easy to spot her house. I tap on
the window pane and she opens the window to let me fly onto her
bureau. She closes her bedroom door and doesn't complain about the
test she has the next day and that she needs her rest. Instead she
sits cross-legged at the edge of her bed and looks up at me.
After
I am grateful for the
hawk in my head. She is gone and I retreat into the woods. I don't
want to be reminded of what I once was or what we once were. But in
all truth I am excited when Jake comes to me for one more mission. We
both know I would do it. And as I step onto the spaceship named after
the gorgeous blond my stomach flip-flops. Even after wards, she makes
my insides jump.