Love Ridden Chapter 23: Lemon, a degrassi fanfic

BTW: the date is Saturday, January 14, 2006

p.s. This is gonna be a semigraphic-y chapter :)

Love Ridden

Chapter Twenty-three

Lemon

Emma paced around her room. Alex had woken her up a few hours ago. After dropping Alex off, she went back to her house. Manny was gone. She left a note saying she was going over to Craig's for a little bit. Jay had called again, telling her he was about 40 minutes from her house. That was only 10 minutes ago. She was freaking out. After she came home, she did her usually ritual. She cut. Every time she would come home, she would cut. She couldn't help it anymore. Alex never saw them. It was always dark when they were together. Plus, Emma was careful where she did them. But, today was different. She was angry. Angry at Jay for never letting her see him. Talking to him brought up a lot of things she moved in to the back of her mind. As she paced, blood dripped down her arm. She cut over an hour ago, but the blood was still sneaking it's way out of her pale skin.

She sighed and walked in to the bathroom. She stood in front of the full length mirror. It was as if she was looking at someone else. A stranger. Her hair was darker. She dyed it a light brown. Her skin was pale now. She no longer had light tanned skin. She looked like walking death. Emma's bones showed right through her skin and clothes. She had lost so much weight. No one really said anything. Emma grabbed her make up and quickly put some on. It made her look healthier. She put her make up and grabbed a towel. She pressed it down, trying to stop the bleeding. It helped, and she wrapped some gauze around the fresh cuts. She threw on a long sleeved shirt and a pair of hip huggers. She walked down the stairs to the living room.

Emma could hear her stomach growl, but she ignored it. She couldn't remember the last time she consumed something other than drugs and alcohol. She looked at the clock, 'Jay will be here any minute.' She walked outside and lit a cigarette. A few minutes later, a black Civic parked in front of the house.

Emma sighed and stayed on her spot on the stairs. Jay slowly got out of the car and walked up the steps. He sat down next to her. He picked up the cigarette pack next to her and lit one for himself. They sat in silence until both of their cigarettes wee finished.

"When did you start smoking?"

Emma shrugged, "Does it matter?"

Jay looked at her and then looked to the street, "You look like shit, Em."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Did you come back to insult me?"

"No. I came back because I shouldn't have left."

"Yeah, well you did. Can't take it back."

"I didn't leave to hurt you."

She laughed and stood up, "Well, you did a pretty bad job at not hurting me."

He stood up next to her, "You hurt me too, Emma. I wouldn't have left if you never went to the Ravine that night."

She opened the door to the house, "Don't forget about me getting our baby killed."

Jay closed his eyes and slowly opened them, "How can you say that so easily?"

"Because it's the truth." She walked in and left the door opened for him.

Jay followed her in and closed the door, "You didn't make Jeff do what he did."

"I know, but I'm the one who went to the Ravine. I'm the one who got drugs." She started to cry, "I didn't want any of that to happen. I told him I was pregnant, but still...he hurt me."

Jay walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her in to a hug, "Em, Jeff was and always will be an ass. I shouldn't have left you that night. I was just so tired of trying to help and you kept telling me to leave you alone."

Emma pushed him away and wiped her tears, "No. No. No. I can't go running back in to your arms. Things can't go back to how they were."

"Why not, Em?"

Emma turned so that her back so to him, "I'm with Alex."

"What?"

She turned to face him again, "I'm with Alex now."

"Manny never told me that."

"No one knows."

"Oh..."

Emma sighed, "I missed you. You have no idea how much. But, I got use to you being gone. I got a routine. See my friends. Hang out with Alex. Come home. Shower. Cu..." She stopped herself.

Jay looked at her confused, "What's cu?"

Emma shook it off with a laugh, "Nothing. Don't worry about it. Want a drink?" She walked towards the fridge pulling a beer for herself.

"Yeah sure." Emma handed him a beer and they sat on the couch.

They sat in silence for a while. About two hours, 15 beers and 6 shots of vodka later, they were sitting on Emma's bedroom floor. Jay was only in his boxers, Emma was sitting in a thong and her long sleeve shirt. They decided to play a strip drinking game. They couldn't remember what they made the rules to be, so with every last sip of a beer they took, a piece of clothing would come off.

Emma laughed at Jay took the last sip of his current beer, "Looks like Jay's gonna be nakey."

Jay smirked and stood up. He slowly pulled down his boxers. "And you love it."

Emma laughed and watched as his boxers hit the floor. He was fully hard, "I think someone else loves it more."

Jay looked down and laughed, "Well, there's this hot chick sitting in front of me wearing a thong." He sat down.

Emma's eyes opened wide, "Where?"

Jay reached out a hand and lightly rubbed the small fabric covering her pussy, "Right there."

Emma let out a small moan, "Hmm...I still don't see her."

Jay smiled and slid a finger underneath the fabric. He slowly moved a finger inside of her, "See her now?"

She moaned louder than before, "Not yet."

Jay laid her down and slid off her thong. He gently laid on top of her and rubbed himself against her clit, "Now?"

Her eyes closed and her arms wrapped around his back, "Almost."

He thrust himself in to her and she let out a loud moan. He moved in and out of her as fast as her could. He started to bite her neck. He put a hand on the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off. He threw it behind them. Emma wrapped her arms tighter around him. She screamed his name. Her nails dug in to his back as she reached her first orgasm. He kept going, not wanting to stop.

About an hour later, Jay collapsed on top of her. They both tried to catch their breathe.

"Jesus...I don't think I ever had so many orgasms." Emma smiled.

Jay bit his lip and rolled off of her, "You are a sex goddess."

Emma smiled and put a hand on his cheek, "Yeah, well, I learned from the best."

Jay kissed her hand. He looked down at her arm and sat up, "Emma! What the hell!"

Emma looked at her arms and quickly got up, "Shit. Shit. I forgot. Shit."

"What did you do?"

Emma stood in front of Jay naked. She had the bandage from early, that now had blood showing through because of it rubbing against Jay's back. She had scars across her stomach, her thighs, her ankles, her wrists. "You should go, Jay."

Jay put on his boxers and stood up, "Hasn't anyone seen these?"

Emma shook her head, "No. No one."

"Not even Alex?"

"No. I'm careful. Just today I wasn't."

"I thought you said you were fine."

Emma walked to her dresser and put on a clean shirt and sweat pants, "Yeah, well I lied."

They've clipped my wings again
Tore them apart and then
Left me
No use to fly away to
My yesterday
Of freedomMy eyes died back that day
Seeing the hurt I may have done
Beat me instead of them
Pain is my only zen
Of fun

I'll go where secrets are sold
Where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

So hurting here is where I belong dreaming a song
Blood on my hands to stay strong
The flowers in the graveyard are all gone I don't belong
There is no right to heal the wrong
Soup's on hot feelin' like a do or die
I can't throw up don't think i even want to try

You still can't make me cry
You've pinned this butterfly
Down
My fire's burning out
Kill my flame without
A frown
And starving hurts the soul
When you're hungry for
Some love
So if I close my eyes
I can really fly
Above

I'll go where secrets are sold
Where roses unfold
I'll sleep as time goes by

Chorus again

Song: Lemon

Owned By: Katy Rose