Moving Forward

By Bernadeen

Last chapter – Thanks for reading. Also please see A/N at end of story.

Chapter 4

And so the next stage of my relationship with Harmon Rabb began. We were still comfortable with each other, except that now I would lay my hand on his arm to get his attention, or touch his shoulder as I passed his chair. Sometimes he reached up to smooth my hair after we ran together. And soon we would wrap our arms around each other's waists for support after some particularly strenuous exercise. This stage was moving much more rapidly than the others had. Within a month, Harm was entirely comfortable dropping kisses on my head, shoulder or nose. I hugged him frequently or trailed my fingers through his hair.

I made an appointment with a gynecologist, just to be sure I could keep my end of the bargain. She was a jolly woman from Ireland. After the exam, she said in her soft Irish brogue, "Yer strong and healthy and yer pelvis is wide. You should have no troubles giving your man as many babies as he wants. And your breasts are plump enough to keep a wee one healthy and content for at least six months." I was slightly embarrassed by her frankness, but happy that there was nothing to prevent me from having Harm's child.

One weekend in mid-December, Harm slipped he arm around me and whispered in my ear, "I think we're ready."

I had no need to ask ready for what. I just looked up at him and smiled.

He continued, "Look, I want to do something special. This is a big step. It changes everything between us and it could soon change our whole family. What do you say?"

"I disagree that it changes everything. We'll still be friends, I hope. And just what do you have in mind?" I ask playfully.

"Yes, of course we'll always be friends." And to reinforce his statement, he dropped a kiss on my nose. "And what I have in mind is getting out of London .. just a little ways. I've been driving by this country inn on the way to the base and I finally stopped to check it out. It's great .. I think you'd love it. If I can arrange it for next weekend, will you be ready? Friday night after work and Saturday. We'll come back on Sunday."

I calculate my personal calendar and thank my luck that I won't have my period next weekend. It also won't be mid-month so conception is unlikely, but the practice should be fun! "I'll be ready," I tell him. But before we finish this conversation I had to ask him one more thing. "Harm, have you told Mattie about our plans? About the baby?"

Harm laughed. "Yes, and she's all for it. In fact, if she had her way, she'd have us in bed before now."

"Harm," I exclaimed, mildly shocked.

"That was my reaction, too, when she made that statement to me. You know how outspoken Mattie can be. But, bottom line, she's happy for us. She wants a baby brother or sister, but even more she wants me to be happy. And she says you make me happy." I feel the prickle of tears as I hug him.

On Tuesday morning, Harm calls me at work to tell me we have reservations for Friday night. We arrange the time for him to pick me up, and then the anticipation begins. The week is a roller coaster of emotions, but as Friday nears, I'm surprised to realize a calmness is settling over me. It's a feeling that has been a characteristic of my relationship with Harm and I'm glad it hasn't deserted me.

Friday evening arrives and Harm picks me up right on time. True to his word, the drive is short .. only about half an hour. We turn off the main road and follow a dark lane through the trees. After a few yards, there are small lights along the road leading the way, and then above our heads are fairy lights strung in the trees. I'm charmed by it all.

We soon reach the inn and stop at the front in an area which could hold about four cars. The parking lot is lit, as is the front of the inn. I see a solid stone building, not particularly large. A lamp in every window sends out its welcome to us.

The elderly couple who run the inn welcome us. Our room is at the end of the second floor hall and consists of a comfortable sitting area, a table and two chairs by one wall, a large bathroom with both an old fashioned tub and a modern shower, and a separate bedroom with a four-poster bed so high that we may need a step stool to get into it. Supper is laid out on the table. We thank the gentlemen who showed us to our room and then we are alone.

Surprisingly, I'm not particularly nervous. "Shall we eat?" I ask.

We take our time with the meal, once again enjoying each other's company. It has been a hallmark of our acquaintance that we always have an abundance of topics to discuss, that we debate but don't argue, that we seldom become impatient with each other, and always seem to sense the other's mood. And our mood tonight is happiness and anticipation. Over supper I decide to tell him about my visit to the doctor. "Harm, a few days ago I saw a doctor, just to check on things."

His reaction is not what I expect. There's fear in his eyes and I hasten to assure him, "Everything is fine. In fact my gynecologist was from Ireland and she was quite outspoken." With my best Irish accent, which probably isn't very good, I quote the doctor's diagnosis. "She told me that I'm strong and my pelvis is wide and I should have no trouble giving my man as many babies as he wants. And she said my breasts were plump enough to keep wee ones content and well fed for six months." By the time I'm finished, we're both laughing.

Our meal finished, Harm stands and gently pulls me up, encircling me with his arms and draws me close. "This is it, Christine. Your last chance to say no. Are you sure?"

"Very sure." And with those words still on my lips, Harm kisses me. We have kissed before, just quick, friendly pecks. This is our first lovers kiss and it rocks my world. His lips are soft and then firm, moving, tasting. Then I feel his tongue push against my lips, seeking entrance, and I open my mouth to him. My scalp prickles at the sensation of Harm's tongue exploring my mouth, hooking with my tongue, tasting, his breath flowing into me. I hear a moan .. I'm not sure whether it's mine or his. I've wondered what the first time would be like. Would it be fast and hot and frantic .. or would it be slow and soft and seductive. It soon becomes clear to me that while Harm may want to be slow and seductive, neither he nor I want to wait long to completely be together.

I lean back just enough to pull my sweater off over my head and then I grab his and do the same thing. He's wearing a t-shirt and I'm wearing a bra so we're not skin to skin yet. "You have too many layers of clothes," I mutter, which brings a laugh from him and a grin from me. He pulls his t-shirt off and I lay my hands flat against his muscled, slightly hairy chest. Then I lean forward and lick it just to see what Harmon Rabb tastes like. When I look up, he's grinning at me and some of the urgency goes away. Another hallmark of our relationship is that we can always play.

And we do play. But there is an urgency in our actions. We manage to get to the bed and climb into it, now devoid of most of our clothes. I know I'm hot and wet and I can feel Harm's manhood long and hard against my thigh. He kisses my neck and shoulders and sucks on my breasts, nearly driving me wild with need. Finally, he's positioned, ready for us to finally come together, when he hesitates. Smiling down at me, he says, "I had a medical exam, too. You'll be happy to know that I have no unpleasant diseases lurking around and that both the volume and activity of my sperm is in the 95th percentile." He gives me a quick kiss. "So, you see, I can carry out my end of the bargain, too." It is the most beautiful thing a man could do for me and I find tears in my eyes.

And with those words, he slowly slides inside me. He fills me and completes me. We come together in this most intimate way just as we have in so many other ways, as though we have always known each other and were made for each other. He begins moving and I near my climax very quickly. I'm not sure what I am saying .. I know I whisper his name .. as my body tenses almost unbearably, journeying towards my climax, I tell him how wonderful he is .. how long I have fanaticized about this and how much better he is than my fantasies. As my mind seems to float away in ecstasy, my body tightens and convulses around him. He groans my name as his body jerks and I feel the warmth of his seed flowing into me.

We lie together, his weight shifted slightly so as not to be too heavy on me. Our bodies relax, muscle by muscle, as contentment produced only by great sex flows through us. As our breathing returns to normal, Harm raises himself on one elbow and stares down at me. I can't read his expression and I'm getting worried. "What…?" I ask.

"You fantasized about us being together?"

Oh, damn. "Yes."

"When did it begin." He sounds like he's cross-examining a witness.

I can't lie to him. "Soon after we met."

"But I thought .. I thought you saw me like a big brother .. didn't you?"

"Not even close. But you only thought of me as your little sister, so what else could I do?"

"Oh, Christine, sweetheart. I was attracted to you from the start. But I was hurting from Mac's walking out on our marriage and I couldn't trust any woman just then. But for whatever reason, I knew I couldn't lose contact with you. That month before you called was the longest of my life. For all I knew, you would never call. And if you hadn't called when you did, I would have called you very soon." He pushed my hair off my cheek and temple with gentle fingers. "I love you, Christine. I have for a long time."

Now there are tears in my eyes. I blink them away and answer the way I had longed to do. "I love you, too, Harm."

It was the most wonderful weekend of my life. We spent it snuggling, making love so many times I lost track, and eating the meals brought to us as room service. On Sunday morning we packed and returned to London.

On Monday morning, a dozen red roses .. red for love and passion .. were delivered to my office. The card simply said "Love, H"

The next weekend Harm asked to spend with me at my place. He arrived looking like a little boy who had done something special for his Mom and couldn't wait to see her reaction. I knew something was up with him, but he didn't give me any clues. His kisses were even more passionate than last weekend and soon we were naked in bed .. a location that was fast becoming one of my favorites. Later, we ate a light supper, and he had that look again. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. "What's going on with you?"

He immediately tried to look innocent, but couldn't pull it off. So he grinned and went to get something from his coat. When he returned, he smoothly knelt on the floor in front of me and opened the velvet jeweler's box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. I couldn't breathe and I know my eyes were like saucers.

"Christine, I want you with me for as long as we live. Will you marry me?"

All I could do was whisper, "Yes." Then I caught my breath and repeated it. "Yes, yes." He slipped the ring on my finger and kissed me till my senses were whirling. And then we ended up in bed again.

Just three weeks later, we were married in a quiet civil ceremony with a few of our friends present. We had told our parents and promised to visit soon, but the logistics of arranging a wedding that all of our families could attend would have made us wait too long. We wanted to be free to spend our time together, as a married couple. Our abbreviated honeymoon was spent at the same inn where we first became lovers.

We have been married for a month. Such a wonderful month. This evening, Harm brought work home from the office. I'm tired and told him I am going to bed. I told him not to work too late. When I am ready for bed, I carefully place on Harm's pillow a small white stick with a blue cross in the middle. I really want to stay awake to see his reaction, but I can't keep my eyes open.

I am awakened by laughter and kisses. Harm's holding the stick and asks, "Does this mean what I think it means?"

I nod. "I missed my last period so I bought a home test. It's positive, but I haven't seen the doctor yet."

Harm swoops down on me, practically crushing me in his arms in his delight. I laugh at his antics and whisper, "I'm glad you're happy, Daddy."

Now we had to make the trip back to the States to see our families while it was still safe for me to fly, and we set about making travel arrangements.

My pregnancy progressed smoothly. I had little morning sickness. The sonogram indicated that we had a son. Harm was ecstatic. Then in my seventh month, an event occurred that we both knew was possible.

I was with Harm in his office. I rarely went there, but this was actually a business meeting. A case involved both the military and a civilian American in London. Harm and I were deep into the case, when Lt. Graves slipped into Harm's office. Her nervousness .. normally nothing made Cathy nervous .. and her breach of protocol in entering without knocking .. had both of us on alert.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, Captain, but there's someone to see you, and she's in a hurry."

Harm asked, "who is it?" and he and I exchanged a look that said we already suspected who it might be.

"It's Colonel MacKenzie, sir," Cathy confirmed my suspicions.

"Harm," I ask quietly, "does she know about us and about .." My eyes dropped toward my extended belly and my meaning was clear.

"Not from me. We haven't kept in touch. But she has probably heard scuttlebutt about our marriage."

"Harm, bring her in here in case she doesn't know. She shouldn't find out in the middle of the bullpen."

During this quiet exchange, Lt. Graves had hovered near the door. Now Harm tells her to send Colonel MacKenzie in.

We both stand as Mac enters the office. She is surprised to see an unknown woman in Harm's office. I can see her quick appraisal. Civilian, pregnant .. and her dismissal of me as unimportant. And I see a beautiful .. a classically beautiful woman, even in the Marine uniform. But I see a hardness in her eyes and I'm glad that Harm is no longer within reach of her claws and sharp tongue.

Ignoring me, she says, "Hello, Harm. You're looking good."

"Thanks. So are you, Mac," Harm responds pleasantly. "I see you made full Colonel. Congratulations." He hesitates only a second before introducing me. "Mac, this is Christine Montgomery, a legal advisor to the diplomatic corps at the American Embassy…" he pauses for effect " … and my wife."

I watch as Mac visibly pales. She clearly didn't know about our marriage, and she's shocked. She's looking at me more closely, venom in her eyes, as she slowly looks down and up, her gaze stopping on my swollen body.

Slowly Mac turns to address Harm. "Well, Harm." I swear I could hear ice crackle. "I see you seduced a woman into giving you what I couldn't."

I am shocked at the insult, but Harm is livid. In a deceptively soft voice that I recognize as very, very dangerous, he tells her, "Mac, you left me, remember? Christine is a recognized expert in international law, she is a representative of the United States on foreign soil, and she is my wife. You will show her respect in all of those capacities, is that understood?"

Mac paled even more if that were possible, then slumped slightly. "You're right, Harm. It was just such a shock." Turning to me, she continued, "I apologize, Christine. I hope you realize how fortunate you are to have a man like Harm and to be having his baby."

"Oh, I am, Colonel MacKenzie. I am." I state adamantly. I turn to Harm. "Thanks for your advice on this case. I'll see you at home tonight." Then I do something that I would normally never do at the office. I reach up and give him a quick kiss on the lips. As I leave the room, I look directly into Mac's eyes and send a very clear silent message that Harm is mine and he's going to stay mine and Mac had better stay the hell away.

I'm back in my office and I worry about what is going on in Harm's office. Oh, I trust him implicitly, and I doubt that Mac would do anything too far out of line. But she can hurt him with verbal barbs. Harm has said enough for me to know she has a sharp tongue.

Half an hour later, my phone rings. It's Harm telling me everything is fine .. he's fine .. and that we'll talk at home tonight.

Later that evening, supper is finished, and we settle in to talk about our day. Harm knows what I'm wondering about. He sits on the sofa and draws me close beside him, his arm around my shoulders. I lay my head on his chest. I love to listen to him talk that way .. to hear the deep rumbling of his voice all the way down his chest.

"Sweetheart, I have something to tell you." I start to sit up, but his hand on my hair sooths me back into my resting position. He goes on, "I'm glad I saw Mac today. You know how much I love you and you know how happy I am in our marriage. But I have to confess that there has always lingered in the back of my mind the question of whether our marriage .. Mac's and mine .. would have worked if the coin had fallen the other way .. if I had resigned my commission and followed her to San Diego. After today, I believe that Mac and I would have reached the same point in San Diego as we did in London. I don't believe I could ever have lived up to Sarah MacKenzie's expectations .. no man can. But I would have tried .. I did try, but she left anyway." He hugs me tighter and buries his face in my hair. "You saved me from the heartache caused by Sarah MacKenzie. I love you more than I can ever tell you."

And with those words, I knew that Harmon Rabb was truly and completely mine. Any threat from Mac was gone. I sighed and whispered, "I'm so very glad I stopped in the Release Your Cares Pub. Fate smiled on us that night. I love you so much, Harm."

End

A/N: I have always admired the character of Mac, though I thought she was less likeable in later seasons. She is complex and intriguing. Mac fans are probably unhappy with the manner of her brief appearance in this chapter. I feel a bit bad about that, but I needed to portray her this way to remove any lingering obstacle she might present and allow Harm and Christine to find happiness together.

If it's any consolation, I am presently working on a Harm and Mac JAG story in which Mac is more like we would expect to see her – a take charge Marine who will do whatever it takes to protect Harm.