Angel came running into the lobby from upstairs holding a newspaper in his hand. "Can you guys believe this?"
"What?" Willow asked from the computer, glancing at Buffy as she strolled out of the office.
"This!" He held up the newspaper and pointed to a section of the entertainment portion.
"What is 'this?'" Buffy asked.
"A Oldies all-nighter is playing at the movies."
"What's that?" Xander asked.
"It's where all the old folks go to hang and make out with each other." Buffy said before she could think about what was coming out of her mouth.
Xander cringed. "Ew! Mental picture."
"Yeah. Not the visual I wanted to keep in my head for all eternity."
"No!" Angel looked down at the paper. "It's a bunch of the old classic movies from the 30s and 40s playing all night long."
"Oh. When is it?"
"Tomorrow starting at five."
"Count me in."
"Me too." Buffy said. "Sounds like fun. Will?"
"Sure, why not?" Willow said. "If it'll get me out of here."
"What about Dawn and Connor?" Angel asked. "Where are they?"
"Class. They'll be home in a few minutes." Buffy said.
"Think they'll want to come?"
"Oh yeah. Dawn's really into all those old movies. Especially with Marilyn Monroe in them. I personally enjoy anything Frank Sinatra."
"I wonder if 'Ocean's Twelve' is gonna be any good." Xander said.
"The first one was, why wouldn't this one be?" Willow said.
"It's Brad Pitt and George Clooney. How bad could it actually be?"
"I'm gonna be paying more attention to Catherine Zeta-Jones and Julia Roberts." Xander said.
"Oh, me too!" Willow said. "Well, not so much Julia cause I'm just not attracted to her, but definitely Catherine." They all looked at her. "What? Gay!"
"Faith?" Angel asked.
She smiled. "Yeah, couldn't hurt anything, could it?"
"What about Spike?" Buffy asked.
"Upstairs asleep. I'll tell him we're all going out tomorrow and he'll tag along."
"So, the whole gang goes out for a night on the town." Angel said.
"Oh, can we go out to eat somewhere first?" Willow asked. "I love the looks on the host's face when they ask how many people are in your group and you tell them a big number."
"You're one demented child, Will." Xander said.
"I try."
Buffy sat in her bedroom reading a book when Willow knocked on the door. "Come in." Willow walked in. "Hey Wills, what's up?"
"I was just thinking." Willow said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"About what?"
"Well, what it would be like if there was no such thing as vampires or demons. Just a normal world."
"What made you think of that?"
"We just had so much fun tonight that I couldn't help but think. We wouldn't know each other."
"Maybe we would. I mean, my parents weren't exactly the ideal couple. They would have divorced and I would have gone to Sunnydale with mom."
"Maybe not."
"You shouldn't think about stuff like that."
"Why?"
"It leads to bad stuff."
"Not always."
"Yes, always." Buffy looked up as Angel walked in behind Willow.
"I guess I'll leave you guys alone."
"Ok, goodnight Will."
"Night Buffy."
"What was that about?" Angel asked when Willow had left.
"Oh, she was just wondering what we would all be like if vampires and all that didn't exist."
"Well, I know one thing." Buffy looked at him quizzically. "I wouldn't be alive. Or undead. Whatever."
"It would be interesting though." This time it was Angel who looked at her quizzically. "You know, what would we be like. What would we have turned out to be? I mean, my destiny was to be a Slayer. What would I have been if there were no forces of evil to watch for on a nightly basis?"
"I don't think I'd want to find out." Angel kissed her forehead. "Go to bed. You're tired and Willow's putting crazy ideas in your head again."
"Ok, just because of that one time….."
"You two managed to set the kitchen on fire."
"But we fixed it, didn't we?"
"Goodnight, Buffy." Angel turned out the light.
The next morning, Buffy reached over and found the other side of the bed empty. She crawled over and flipped on the light. Sleepily, she stretched out her limbs and slowly opened her eyes, but her eyes were covered up. She reached up and found a sleep mask on her face. Weird. She pulled it off and let her eyes adjust.
Buffy gasped. This wasn't her room. She ran to the window. This wasn't the Hyperion. "What the hell is going on? Angel!" She went to the door and opened it. It didn't lead to the hallway, but instead she found herself in the biggest walk in closet she had ever walked into. It was full of clothes and shoes and purses and a three-way mirror complete with a pedestal to step up on and check out an outfit. "Um….."
"Buffy?" And English accent called out.
"Giles? Spike?"
"Who are you talking to? And where are you at?"
"Um, in the closet."
"You couldn't have bought a new outfit. It's just now seven o'clock!" The door opened wider and…..
"Oh my God!"
"What?"
"You're….. No way!"
He laughed. "What?"
"I can't believe this!"
"Ok, I'm not following you here. What am I?"
"You're Orlando Bloom!"
"Yes. The last time I checked. Here, I'll check again just for you." He looked down at himself and patted his chest. "Yes. I'm still Orlando. But who are you?"
"I'm Buffy."
"I know who you are. After all, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me last night if I didn't know you."
"What? You asked me to….." She looked at the very large engagement rock….. ring on her finger. "And I said yes."
"Ok, who are you and what have you done with my fiancé?"
"Listen, let me get dressed and I'll be out in a minute."
"Right. Do you want anything?"
"Toast?"
"Coming right up." He glanced at her one more time and then turned and walked out.
Buffy studied the ring on her finger. It had three pear-shaped diamonds on it, one large one in the middle and two smaller ones pointed away from the middle one. Orlando Bloom just called her his fiancé! Think Buffy, what could have….. Willow! Buffy grabbed a pair of….. Whoa! Gucci jeans and a black….. How much better can this get? A black Dolcé and Gabana top. She checked out her shoes and found a pair of black Minolo Blonic boots. After brushing her hair, she went to her bedroom and started going through drawers.
"Phonebook. Phonebook. Gotta have a phonebook." When she couldn't find one, she picked up the phone and dialed 411. "Sunnydale, California. What? Yes there is. It's two hours up the coast….. Hello?" Buffy hung up the phone. "No Sunnydale? How can….. Oh no! She did it again!"
"Who did what again?" Orlando went to kiss her, but she pulled back.
"Whoa! Married."
"Not yet." He went to kiss her again, but she dodged again. "Ok, what's wrong?"
"Nothing. Nothing, it's just that….. I, uh, I slept really weird last night and I'm not 100 today."
"Do you want me to call Brad and tell him that you can't make lunch today?"
"Brad who?"
"Pitt."
"Brad Pitt?" She squeaked. "He wants to have lunch with me?"
"Of course. You two have been friends since you were eleven."
"Eleven? Me and Brad Pitt? THE Brad Pitt? As in the honey mom and I used to watch in Thelma and Louise whenever we wanted to see the perfect specimen of a man Brad Pitt?"
"Yes. Did you hit your head?"
"I thought you were dating that Kate Bosworth chick."
"Kate Bos….. Oh, you mean the girl from the Blue Crush movie. That was just a rumor, but you know that. Should I call a doctor?"
"No. No, it's fine. Yeah, call Brad and tell him that I won't be able to make it. I'm….. not feeling myself."
"Obviously." He held out his hand slowly to show her he wasn't trying to hurt her and then touched her forehead. "Well, you are a little warm, but it could be the space heater you always have on and that down comforter you sleep under in the middle of Los Angeles weather." He kissed the side of her head. "I'll go call Brad."
Buffy nodded and waited for him to disappear down the hall before she walked out of the room. This was definitely not a penthouse. It was a freakin mansion! She walked down the hall in the opposite direction Orlando had gone and glanced in the first room she came to. Another bedroom. Probably a guestroom. The next room, however, was huge. And it had tons of movie posters everywhere. Movie posters with her name on them and he picture on them. She looked at each one carefully.
Interview With the Vampire. She had played Claudia. Brad Pitt! Eleven! Buffy had been eleven when that had come out! Then there was I Know What You Did Last Summer and Scream 2. Never heard of them. She moved on to Cruel Intentions and Simply Irresistible. Again, never heard of them, but she had been the star in each one. Charlie's Angels and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle! No freakin way! She was Nathalie! That was Cameron Diaz's part! She had been in both movies with Lucy Lui and Drew Barrymore! Moulin Rouge and Chicago? This was incredible! Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. They had made two movies out of her favorite cartoon growing up? And she had played Daphne! Her favorite character. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights? She could sing AND dance apparently! Troy.
"You remember that movie, right?" Orlando said behind her. She hadn't heard him come in. Uh oh.
"Uh, yeah. Great movie." She said, uncertain of what Troy had to do with her. She glanced at the poster. Instead of Diane Kruger there, it was her! She had played Helen of Troy alongside Orlando as Paris, Prince of Troy and Brad Pitt as Achilles! "We met on that movie set?" It didn't sound like a question.
"Yup. And it was the best movie I've ever done because I got you." Buffy glanced around. The Grudge. What was that? "I remember when you called me from Tokyo. You were in hysterics because you had just set the kitchen on fire."
"Heh….. yeah. That was crazy."
"Well, listen, Brad says he hopes you feel better." Orlando checked his watch. "I gotta go. Sword training and all. I'll be home before supper and we'll start talking about the wedding." He kissed her cheek. "Feel better, ok?"
"I'll try." She watched him go and then she decided to check out the rest of the room. There was an Emmy sitting in the middle of a bunch of other awards, including an Oscar for Best Picture for Chicago. She picked up the Emmy and read. "Best Young Actress, Buffy Summers, for All My Children. Mom's favorite soap! She had been in it and won an Emmy! Who had she played? A little searching found that she had played Kendall Hart, Erica Kane's long lost daughter. Damn. That was cool. "What am I doing?" She set the script down and walked out of the room. Luckily, she found a computer and she sat down.
She typed in 'Willow Rosenburg' and watched as 1,354,725 results showed up. This could take a while. She clicked on the first link and a picture of Willow came up. "Or not." Apparently, Willow was an esteemed professor of computers at a big time school in San Francisco where she had been born and raised. There was a number for the school and Buffy wrote it down.
Next she typed in 'Alexander Harris' and watched 1,087,342 results popped up. Unfortunately, it took her over an hour to locate the right Alexander Harris. Xander was a big time architect in New York City. His current project was working on the new site of the Twin Towers. After a little more research, she found a number where she could reach him.
Then, she typed in 'Angelus.' Nothing of significance came up. She tried 'Angel,' but got a bunch of religious stuff. Then she tried 'Liam McDuncan,' his real name and she found out that Liam had lived from 1725 to 1778. It was her Angel all right, but he had died over 226 years ago. He had been a great duke in Galway, Ireland and had married a beautiful blonde woman that had given him nine children, three girls and six boys.
She decided not to try Spike's name. She knew he wouldn't be alive today just like Angel wasn't. Instead, Buffy got up and went to find a personal phone book. She managed to find a cell phone that had a WHOLE lot of famous people's numbers in it. Just as she was about to search for her mother's number, the house phone rang. She went to pick it up.
"Uh, hello?" She said, uncertain of who it would be.
"Buffy! Oh my God! Thank God I found you!" It was Willow.
"I was getting ready to call you after I….. Never mind! What the hell happened?"
"I don't know! I went to sleep and woke up in San Francisco a professor of computer sciences. And you! Famous and engaged to Orlando Bloom!"
"How did you find that out? He just asked me last night."
"Is he there?"
"No. He had to go to sword lessons."
"For Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3. He's beginning shooting those early next year."
"And what am I doing?"
"You start this movie called Southland Tales in January."
"Oh. Cool."
"I can't believe you're famous!"
"Me either! You should see this place, Will! It's huge. I have a closet the size of half of my penthouse at the Hyperion." The doorbell rang. "Uh….. Hold on." She took the phone with her as she opened the door to find Cordelia standing there. "CORDELIA!"
"Hey! How're you doing? I just heard the news! Let me see the rock!" Cordy grabbed her left hand and held it up. "Oh my God! Look at how HUGE that is. I can't believe that Justin and Bam have such great taste!"
"Justin and Bam?"
"Buffy!" Willow yelled over the phone. Buffy held it back up to her ear. "Justin Timberlake is your best friend since birth. His mother and your mother went to college together and they were the best of friends. And Bam Margera, the pro-skateboarder, is your other best friend. You met him in New York when you were filming Interview With the Vampire and he took you to the premiere. You dated for a while, but then you broke it off. Cordelia has her own show called Cordy, it's a huge smash, and you two have been friends since you worked together for a little while on All My Children."
"How did you find all that out?"
"The internet."
"Makes sense, I guess."
"Who is that?" Cordelia asked.
"Who?"
"On the phone silly! Is it who I think it is?"
"I doubt it."
"Oh, don't be so silly! Who is it?"
"An old, old, old friend of mine I knew back when I was little. She's coming into town soon and I offered to let her stay here."
"I just hope she's not after ten minutes of fame. You know your 'old, old, old friends' come out of the woodwork after you become famous. I've had people I don't even know say they knew me way back when."
"Trust me, she's not after fame."
"I've already got it. Sort of." Willow said.
"Shush!"
"Well, I just wanted to stop by and congratulate you." Cordy said. "I'm off to work again."
"Yeah. Good luck with that."
"Enjoy your time off. When January comes, I won't get to see much of you or Orlando. Pity. Ta!" Cordy air kissed Buffy's cheeks and walked out the door.
Buffy stared at the door a minute, then said, "This just keeps getting weirder and weirder." She shook her head. "Listen, how soon can you make it up here?"
"No later than….." Willow paused, probably looking at a clock. "No later than noon."
"Good. Hurry up. I'll pick you up at LAX. Just call me."
"Ok. Bye."
"Later." Buffy hung up and started to search around the mansion again.