VT: Holy crap, people are actually reviewing this thing. ::Shocked:: I saw the reviews, and I said to myself, "Self! I have to stop talking to you in public; it's frightening my family. But more importantly, people are actually reading this crap you're writing. You must continue!" So here I am actually finished this thing I never even meant to write. Anyway, in Japan, school starts in April, or so I've been informed; I didn't mention that in the previous chapter, so I'm tellin' ya now!

WARNING: I think you remember from the first chapter, but just in case: YAOI ROCKS MY... uh, something that rhymes with "rocks". Oh, and this story has some shounen-ai in it.

DISCLAIMER: Yuugi-ou VT = More yaoi than is probably healthy. So for your safety, Yuugi-ou is not mine.

Quote of the Hour: "What kind of crack are you on, mutt?" -Kaiba Trip to Fall -x-

Birthday Something or Other (Ch. 2)

First Person- Seto

What have I gotten myself into? Three hours until this celebration thing, and I'm still browsing the mall-- of all places-- for a gift that has nothing to do with maturity or the coming of age. Mokuba keeps pestering me about why I'm agreeing to leave work, why I'm going to this Godforsaken party, and what part Jounouchi has in all of this. The gerbil at the pet store has it in for me; these bags are starting to feel heavy. I ripped my favourite trench coat trying to get away from Anzu and her gift ideas. And to top all that off, no one seems to recognize me without it. I'm not sure whether to be happy I haven't been mauled by a group of asinine fangirls or disappointed no one recognizes the richest man in Domino.

"So should be happy." I turn to Mokuba. "You should be happy that you haven't been mauled," he clarifies. Was I saying that out loud or am I just that predictable? "You're that predictable." Wow. "Hey look, Spencer's Gifts!" Mokuba grabs my arm and drags me into the said store.

I don't know who this Spencer guy is, but the first thing I learn is that he is one hell of a perverted guy. I believe I like him. Mokuba is roaming around, and it kind of makes me nervous. I don't exactly want him seeing some of this stuff--

"Seto, what's lubricant for?" ...I'm not answering that. "I mean, besides anal sex, especially the scented ones. What else can they be used for? Hey, this stuff is flavoured too?!" I want to die. He's staring at me now; I don't blame him. The blood drained from my face a while ago. " 'Ni-sama, are you alright?"

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY INNOCENT LITTLE BROTHER?!" That may have been too loud. Hmm, Mokuba was right: the manager is a woman; now, if she would stop staring at me... The one in the corner seems to have recognized me, and she's pretending not to point. "We're leaving now." I grab his hand and try to drag him out, but of course, he's got other ideas.

He's still giggling after we leave, and it's beginning to grate on my nerves. "Mokuba-- what. Is it?!" If I was an anime character, I'm absolutely sure there would be a bright red, vein-like thing thumping on my forehead right now, and he's still giggling.

"I can make you buy anything." I'm frowning now; I can feel it. I don't think I have control over my facial features anymore. Peachy.

"That's not true. Though I do not understand the relevance of edible underwear, what could possibly be more delightful than digesting undergarments?" Sarcasm strikes again!

"Are you being sarcastic?"

I think I'll just evade that question. "And anyway," I pull a small furry creature out of my bag, "I find it very amusing that this mechanical hamster-object believes it is too sexy for his shirt." I tap the button on its foot proving my point. It begins to sing, dance, and kill me on the inside. Is my eye twitching?

"Sure, 'Ni-sama," he says. I don't think he believes me. Well, I did just shove the object back into the bag in hopes of shutting it up. I wonder if I broke it, but then again, I don't really care. "Besides," he starts again, "there was that pool table we bought for Kaiba Land Japan." He's talking about the Billiard Master 5,000-- utterly useless piece of junk.

"I didn't buy that because of your incessant begging. That pool table was a notable investment." I'm lying.

"You're lying." Damn.

My ingenius retort, "You can't prove that." Not without a lie detector at least. Can you buy lie detectors in the mall? Would there really be in that much of a demand? If so, I'm sure Kaiba Corporations could do a virtualized version. It could work around the design of my original duel disk operation and be used everywhere for... well... Go Fish?

" 'Ni-sama, are you listening?"

"Huh?" And that was my intelligent response.

"I'll take that as a 'no'." I give him my rare apologetic look; he seems to have forgiven me. "Now that I think of it, there was no real reason I wanted to get that pool table." He scratches his chin, looking pensive. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, in all those teen movies, everyone seems to think that a billiard table is the best place for really hot se-"

"SEEMS we're done shopping!" I interrupt. That is the last thing I need to hear from my brother; he's going to be the death of me. I'm going to have to monitor his television viewing instead of going to Jounouchi's party. I wonder if Mokuba can figure out Child Safety Blocks. He looks at me with those apparently deceptive and large purple eyes. He's questioning my interruption, and I'm not planning on answering him. "Mokuba-- when did my innocent younger brother turn into the average hormonal adolescent?"

"On his thirteenth birthday." He glides right by me to wait on the passenger side of our Mercedes Benz. I unlock the doors and slip into the driver's seat, cursing PG-13 movies all the way. Though, I am being a bit hypocritical. I remember my first teen movie; however, I was sixteen then. It was 10 Things I Hate about You. An overly superfluous movie with an all too sugary ending; though, there was that cute blonde. Speaking of cute blondes, I still haven't gotten anything for Jou. I can't give him the yapping and possibly broken hamster or edible underwear I bought! Damn Mokuba and his distracting lubricants...! Let's just leave it at that. Wait, I pull over and put the car in park. I glance over at a slightly confused Mokuba.

"This will only take a moment." I rush inside the store and find exactly what I want. I change my mind; there is no way I'm missing this party. -x-

VT: Cue devilish grin! Heh, I really want to apologize. I was only expecting this to be two chapters, but after speaking with Sanami-san, she suggested three: invitation, shopping, actual party. All in all, I like it that way too. So I am REALLY sorry this isn't going the way I had previously stated. But at least this is a sooner update, ne? ::Retarded smile:: I hope I did all right; this homour thing is weird to me. Hehe. Please review!