To Walk Through Fire
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and the characters associated with him. They belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not making money off of this story. So please don't sue.
Chapter IX: The Catalyst
Several hours before
Sirius yawned yet again. He was tired. No exhausted. The two remaining Marauders had spent till three in the morning chasing shadows. None of the books Moony had contained information on the bizarre spell that Sirius had found on Malfoy's flier. Not even Moony's dark arts books had held any information to help them. And Sirius' old Auror books certainly did not contain any information on linking spells. They had even looked in their old school books. He rubbed his sore eyes. Sirius was willing to do anything for his son, but looking through all those books had been pointless and a waste of time. He could have been planning to break into Azkaban, instead of scanning through dusty, old books for a spell they had never heard of before.
The book before him, an old school text, lay open, its yellow pages staring accusingly at him for falling asleep. Sirius slammed it shut, waking up the brown-haired man flopped over another yellowed book beside him.
"What time is it?" The man muttered sleepily as he looked over to Sirius, who was busy pushing the stacks of books angrily away.
"Not sure. Why?" Sirius muttered as he shoved another pile of books away from them.
"I have to meet Alexander Brown at 5:00 this morning remember." Sirius froze in his movements. He had forgotten about that meeting – about the time he had started to scan through his old fifth year transfiguration textbook. The meeting had something to do with Harry. Sirius' eyes snapped up and he looked at the clock.
"It's 4:40, Moony, you need to get going. You should be there early, just in case." Sirius said quickly standing up, pulling Remus up with him too. He was anxious to find out what Alexander knew about Harry, and why the man was interested in meeting Moony. Why Remus had been contacted instead of someone else.
"Hold on Padfoot, I need to change, and it will only take a second to get there, I can apparate, remember?" Remus muttered jerking out of Sirius' grasp. Sirius watched as his friend staggered up the stairs.
Sirius followed his friend up the stairs and went into his room to change. Normally he would not have changed, but doing something was preferable to doing nothing, and besides, he hated staying in dirty clothes, it reminded him too much of his time in Azkaban.
Sirius was sitting in the kitchen well before Remus left his room. As soon as the werewolf entered the kitchen, Sirius jumped on him.
"Remus you have to get going, you're going to be late. We need to find out about what Alexander knows as soon as possible." He pushed his protesting friend towards the door.
"Padfoot, I still have ten minutes. Alexander wants to keep this a secret, if I'm there early, it will look suspicious. I want to help Harry as much as you do, but if the Ministry realizes what I'm doing, they are going to put me in Azkaban right beside him, to stop my meddling." Remus pointed out reasonably, Sirius wasn't listening to his friend. He did not really care to listen to the voice of reason. His son was out there suffering and this man knew something about him. If Sirius had been the one contacted he would have been there in an instant. How could Moony be so patient? But Moony was always patient.
"No they won't, and they probably don't think that you can do anything anyways Remus. He could be there early." Sirius told his friend anxiously, still pushing him out the door.
"Alright Padfoot, you win. I'll leave now, but I want you to go to Albus right away and tell him everything we know. See if he can figure out what to do. If you can't find Albus go to Severus. I know you don't like him Sirius, but this is for Harry." Sirius looked at his friend in annoyance. He already knew what he had to do, he did not need to hear Remus tell him that again. But from the looks of it Remus was nervous . . . no he looked frightened. Sirius wondered if it was for Harry or from something else.
"Yes Remus I will." He said giving his friend a final shove. Remus stumbled a little from his friend's push and apparated away.
Even though Moony had left, Sirius was as impatient to find out about what Alexander Brown knew as he had been before. Sirius knew that he could not wait around for Remus to come back, he had to go find Albus and tell him of what they had found. He wondered if the old headmaster would even be up at this time. Well it did not matter that much. If Albus was not awake, Sirius would just wake him up. Saving Harry was far more important than sleeping. He quickly collected several books on the table, that Moony had set aside, saying that they might be helpful to the headmaster, and Malfoy's flier, which still radiated evil. None too gently, he shoved them into a bag that lay on the ground. He slipped the bag onto his shoulders, where he was sure that it would not fall off, and apparated to Hogwarts.
***************
He knew he was early. Actually he was far to early for this meeting. But Padfoot's impatience had gotten to him. He did not honesty think he could have stood waiting with the man for two more minutes. But his friend's impatience had been contagious and now he was anxious to find out what Alexander Brown wanted to tell him after all these years.
It was about Harry. 'I know Harry's innocent', the note had said. But what else did he know? Remus knew there was something else. He was certain. Brown would not have done something secretly, if he just wanted to help them. So what was it? What did the Auror know about Harry that needed to be told in secret? Was something wrong with the boy? Remus certainly hoped not. If Harry was dead, Remus could not imagine what it would do to his best friend. Nor could he forgive himself for not doing more to help Harry . . .
Remus looked around at his surroundings, trying to stop those thoughts. It was no good worrying about things that had not happened. Behind him stood charred ruins, in a mockery of the house that had once stood there. This had been where Lily and James had lived before . . . Remus quickly led his thoughts away from that memory. It was no use though. Just being in Godric's Hollow brought up memories, both good and bad, of his two friends. Especially after that night. Their bodies had lain half-buried in the debris . . . The werewolf quickly shook his head, and turned around trying to remove that picture from his mind. He knew it would never go away. That would be something stained in his mind forever. He couldn't imagine what it was like for Sirius. Padfoot had been one of the first people to see the smoldering ruins, before Hagrid had come to take Harry away to the Dursleys. And then Padfoot had gone to Azkaban, where he would have lived that night over and over again . . .
And Harry. Harry probably was, at the moment, reliving that night. All because the Ministry needed a scapegoat to cover up Voldemort's attacks.
Alexander had to have something that would help them rescue Harry. Why else would the Auror have contacted him? Unless . . .Remus sighed. Thinking this was getting him nowhere; his thoughts were just leading him in circles. He needed to think of something else, before his thoughts drove him mad, much like Harry's memories could be driving the boy . . . Stop it!
Remus looked down at his watch, if nothing else, it would stop his mind from going in circles for a few seconds. 5:30! Where was Alexander? Why hadn't he shown up? It was unlike the Auror to be late, especially when he asked for the meeting. Had something happened to him? Remus hoped not. But what if it was something else? What if this had been a set up . . . It couldn't be, Alexander would never do anything like. Not to a friend. Would he? Remus looked anxiously up the road. It was empty. Not a sign of another human being. It was not a trick, how could it be? No one from the Ministry had come to arrest him on the basis of some fictional event. So why hadn't Alexander shown up yet?
Business. That's why. The Auror probably had urgent business to attend to, probably another attack. He wondered if there had been. He wished that he had waited for the Daily Prophet to arrive before heading out, but it wouldn't have arrived for at least another hour. The delivery owl should find him soon though, even if he wasn't at his house.
He would have to wait. There was nothing else he could do. Alexander would show up. The Auror had never let him done yet. If it was Auror business that delayed him, Alexander could take several hours to finish. Remus knew that from experience, James and Sirius would always be working at the oddest hours. Remus sat on a tree stump that sat along side the road.
The secrecy of this all was strange. Alexander had always been open. If he disapproved of something, he would make it clear that he disapproved of it. Unless, maybe, he had finally realized that Fudge was incompetent as a Minister and they were heading into dangerous times. Alexander was intelligent, if he realized that he would know to keep any information he found against Fudge had to be kept secret, or else he would end up in the same position as Harry. Or else be discredited like Albus had been. But it would not have been that strange had Remus and Alexander met, they were friends, or had been at Hogwarts. The Ministry shouldn't care about that. Unless Alexander had found something out and he did not want to risk it being overheard. Or maybe the Auror had something to show him. What if . . . No it wasn't possible, Alexander would never do that, would he? Remus quickly pushed the thought aside. It was ludicrous really. Alexander would never do that. Unless something had happened to Harry that had forced the Auror to act. Remus quickly squashed that idea. It was no use getting his hopes up high, when they were probably going to be dashed. Alexander would never do something so foolish as stealing Harry out of Azkaban without asking for help. But he was in the perfect position to do so.
No. He would not let his hopes rise like that. He had to think about the worst possible situation and prepare for that. But what could possibly be worse than a fifteen year old's imprisonment in the most horrible prison ever created? And how did one prepare for it?
***************
"Sherbet lemon," he whispered urgently. "Whizzing Fizzbees! Chocolate frogs! Ice cream! Lemon drops! Ton Tongue Toffees!"
Suddenly the gargoyle moved from its position, opening a doorway in the wall.
"Ton Tongue Toffees?" Sirius muttered incredulously under his breath as he started to ascend the twisting stairway. "Isn't that what Harry said the Weasley twins made?" Not that it mattered; it was something to stop himself from thinking. Sirius pushed himself up the stairs quickly. The faster he talked to Albus, the faster they could get Harry out of Azkaban.
He was breathless by the time he reached the headmaster's door, but he didn't care. Without missing a step, he flung the door opened, not even wincing as it slammed against the wall. He strode right up to Albus' desk.
The headmaster of Hogwarts, who was always smiling and calm, did not look so now. In fact, the man looked old, and worried, even more so than he had seemed only a few days ago. A silent dread filled Sirius. He hoped that whatever Albus was worried about, it had nothing to do with his son. Though he highly doubted it. Harry was almost always the center of everything.
"Sirius," The headmaster greeted him. "I was wondering when you would appear. Sit please." He motioned Sirius towards one of the chairs. Sirius ignored the headmaster's invitation and instead placed the bundle he carried down on the desk.
"There's your proof. We need to get Harry out if that place now." He said shortly. The less time he wasted, the better.
The headmaster looked even grimmer. "Sirius," he said softly "I'm afraid you're too late."
Sirius felt his heart stop at those words. "What do you mean?" He asked slowly. Instead of answering, Albus handed him a newspaper. Sirius felt his body become numb. He felt his knees give way and he collapsed into a chair. The last time he had read a newspaper, his world had been nearly destroyed. He dreaded reading the words written upon the page. His hands shook as he unfolded the newspaper. The first words he saw, the headline, sent him into shock. No! It wasn't possible. It just could not be happening. Not when they were so close. No!
Sirius didn't even notice as the paper fell free from his hands. His eyes stared blankly ahead.
"No!" He jerked out of his seat, unable to sit still for another second. "It's not possible. They're lying. They are making the story up so that there's an even stronger reason to send me back to prison."
He didn't even see Albus stepping around the desk and coming to stand beside him.
"Sirius, listen to me." Sirius didn't listen.
Why bother?
It was pointless. He had lost Harry to Voldemort. He had betrayed both Lily and his son with his incompetence. As soon as he discovered who was raising Harry, he should have taken the boy away from them. Now Voldemort had Harry. His son would either be dead, or Voldemort would know his true identity. Sirius hoped it was the former, as cruel as it was. If Voldemort did find out about Harry's relationship to Sirius, then . . .Sirius dreaded what would happen to his son. Now Harry was beyond any help anyone could give him. Unless . . .Sirius moved away from Albus. If it was the only way to free his son than he would do it, even though he had sworn that he would never join him.
Sirius went to move towards the door. But something restrained him. Sirius turned around to see what it was that had trapped him. Albus Dumbledore had grabbed onto his robes stopping him from going anywhere.
"I need to go," He told the headmaster, trying to pull his robes back. "I have to save him, Voldemort can't find out." He knew he was mumbling nonsensically, and blurting out things that he shouldn't, but he couldn't' think of any other way to convince the headmaster to let him go.
"Sirius, you can't go to Azkaban, you'll only get caught by Voldemort. It will do Harry no good if you are." Albus' eyes met his eyes.
"I need to go Albus," Sirius told him firmly glaring at the professor. " I have an idea."
The headmaster still did not let him go. "Sirius, listen to me, trying to steal Harry from under Voldemort's nose is suicide. Think about it, you'll only get both yourself and Harry killed."
Sirius stared at the headmaster, weighing the pros and cons of telling the man his ideas. He quickly decided. "I can trade myself in for Harry. Voldemort always wanted me to join him. I'll tell him that I will become his follower if he lets Harry go."
The headmaster stared disapprovingly at him and moved him over to a chair. "Voldemort won't accept that deal Sirius, he wants Harry more than he does you. If you go there he will kill you before you even have a chance to make a deal with him. Think about it Sirius."
"No, it will work." Sirius insisted. It just had to. He was sure that Voldemort would listen to him. If he did it properly he could convince Voldemort beyond a doubt that Harry wasn't related in anyway to himself and then beg for Harry's life. It would work. He was certain of it. "He'll hear me out, especially if I agree to join him." Sirius mumbled. Why couldn't Albus just let him go, it wasn't like he was very important to anyone anyway. If he failed, at least he would have died trying to save his son, even if he couldn't manage to protect him.
"What do you mean Sirius? Why are you so sure he'll hear you out?"
Sirius Black looked straight into the headmaster's eyes. How could he explain it to Albus without revealing his secret? How? Sirius opened his mouth and then closed it again. Albus was probably thinking he was crazy to even think that this would work. He could reveal the secret, but then Albus would turn away from him, just like everyone else would, he would send Sirius straight to the Ministry, where he would be locked up safely. He would be shunned for the rest of his life, and so would Harry, if they ever found out the second part of it.
"Because he offered me a position right beside him just before-before that night." Sirius spoke slowly. Albus seemed to see right through his words. "He was willing to give me second in command if I joined him and told him a certain name." Not to mention that he would have had to bring his son before the Dark Lord and raise him in the Dark Arts, just like Draco Malfoy was being raised. "I think he still wants that name, and he doesn't have very many loyal followers at the moment, he could always use more."
"Sirius, as your friend, and as your old teacher I cannot allow you to go do that. The 'certain name' you speak of cannot be that important if he never asked anyone else what it was, and from all reports he never asked any of those captured to give a certain name. As a foe against Voldemort, I will not allow someone of your talent to fall into his hands. Harry or no Harry in the balance." Albus spoke firmly. "I will do everything in my power to help your godson, but foolish ideas like that are a waste of a life Sirius."
"Harry's the only family I have, other than Remus. I will not let him suffer in Voldemort's hands." Sirius stood up; he would not let Albus stop him. This delay could only make it worse for Harry. "And the name Voldemort wanted was only known by two people, James and myself. The Dark Lord knew that, he probably asked James before . . .James would never betrayed us though." Sirius told him preparing to leave.
"Where's Remus?" The subject was suddenly changed.
Sirius blinked. He hadn't expected that. He needed to go, to help his son before it was too late . . . "He went to meet with an old friend." Sirius muttered cryptically before turning to leave. It didn't matter now if he gave full answers to Albus, the man would probably figure it out anyway.
"Sirius Black do not do this. It will only make things worse. Think about how Harry will feel when he learns that his godfather foolishly became a Death Eater just because he thought it would allow Harry to go free." Suddenly the article flew back into Sirius' hands. "And besides which Sirius, you didn't read the whole article. I have been informed by Minister Fudge that the Aurors have surrounded Azkaban, and Voldemort has put up new wards and spells around the prison to guard it." Sirius knew he could get around the Aurors without any difficulty, he had been one of them many years ago, and he knew how they worked. As to the spells and wards around the fortress, he would figure how to work those as they came.
Sirius looked down at the paper. He knew that Albus could keep him in that room, so he had to convince the headmaster to let him go. Though it was strange that Albus wasn't letting him leave, usually Dumbledore would let him make mistakes on his own so that he could learn. Sirius looked down at the article, it revealed as much information as he had already guessed and a bunch of lies that the Daily Prophet seemed to think made a good story. He doubted strongly that what the Ministry said was true, they would not have Azkaban by sundown tonight, most of the Aurors working for the Ministry probably had never fought against Voldemort before.
"What difference does this article make to my plan?" He muttered. He had no idea why Albus had wanted him to read the whole thing. "It tells me as much as I already guessed."
"Sirius almost every Auror is on duty trying to get the prison back."
"Almost every Auror?" Sirius asked. Alexander was an Auror, if he was on duty now, that meant he would not have had time to meet with Remus. And Moony would still be waiting to meet him. Sirius looked down at his watch. 11:30 am. It was that late already. How had so many hours passed without him noticing? He needed to hurry if he was to get Harry out of prison before Voldemort found out the truth or killed his son. Though somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he would already be too late.
Albus didn't bother answering his question, and Sirius didn't leave the headmaster time to. "Albus please listen to me. I swore to Lily and James that I would protect Harry with my life and keep him safe. I haven't been doing a very good job of that and I need to make it up to them. I love Harry and I want to help him, not just because of my promise, but because he trusts me and I owe it to him to keep him safe. Please let me go save him."
Professor Albus Dumbledore for once looked like he was at a lost as to what he should do.
***************
Remus looked at his watch once again. It was getting late, he didn't think that he should wait much longer for the Auror. He had not received his daily newspaper, which in itself was not strange, the Daily Prophet birds were known to be unreliable. If Sirius and Albus created a plan, then Remus would have to hurry to be able to take part in it, Padfoot would not wait very long to put it into play. Whatever Alexander was going to tell him could not have been that important since the Auror still had not shown up seven hours after the scheduled time. At the moment the prospect of going to Hogwarts looked much better than waiting in Godric's Hollow. At least there the memories would not assault him.
Remus made his decision. Quickly he stood up. And making sure that no one was around, he apparated to the edge of Hogwarts and started to walk towards the school. It seemed to take ages to walk halfway there. He was getting old. He looked up towards the castle to see how much further he had to travel.
Instead of seeing the castle, he saw a dark pile, directly in front of him. Remus started to move faster towards it, instinctively knowing it was someone or something in trouble. As he came closer to the object, he realized that it was not something, but someone, two someones. One of them was dressed in black, while the other figure was completely covered in mud. Remus bent down to turn over the black figure.
He gasped. It was Severus Snape. Remus quickly felt for a pulse, something Lily had taught him during their third year. He let a breath, which he hadn't realized that he had been holding. The man was still alive, but he would have to go the hospital wing. The cut on the Potion Master's head was worrying him. The man must have lost a lot of blood through that wound. Not to mention that he was extremely pale. He looked towards the second figure, whom Snape seemed to have been trying to reach out to.
And gasped.
He blinked trying to clear his eyes. The figure remained the same. Remus felt for a pulse on the figure. But felt none.
No!
It couldn't be possible.
No! He wouldn't let it happen.
But the skin was icy cold and there was no colour at all. The figure's bright green eyes stared blankly ahead.
Harry Potter was dead.
Cold tears fell out of his eyes, and before Remus knew what was happening he was sobbing, holding the boy close. Why? Why now? The boy was hardly old enough to know what life was. Harry did not even get the chance to live with Sirius, to have a real family, unlike with those Dursleys.
Sirius.
He needed to tell Sirius, no matter how much it broke his friend's heart, Sirius needed to know. Collecting the child in his arms, Remus was surprised at how much weight the boy had gained, at least he had been fed by the Dursleys over the summer. He broke into a run towards the castle. He knew that he needed to help Severus, who was still alive, but his loyalty to Harry ran deeper than it did foe the Potions professor. Just as he was turning the final corner to the headmaster's office, he crashed into a brown-haired figure going to opposite way.
"Remus." The familiar voice of Minerva McGonagall gasped as she nearly fell to the floor.
The werewolf was about to tell her that he needed to talk to Professor Dumbledore immediately without delay, when the picture of Severus lying on the ground, nearly dead floated into his mind.
"Minerva . . . Severus is outside . . . he's hurt." He gasped out between ragged breaths. She did not ask for clarification, and Remus was not willing to give any at the moment.
"The password is Ton Tongue Toffee." She told him briefly before running down the halls in the direction he had just come from.
Remus quickly rushed to the gargoyle calling out the password as he neared it. Without missing a step he ran up the stairs, much like Padfoot had done several hours earlier, except this time he carried a bundle that would tear his friend's heart out. As he reached the top of the stairs, he called out a spell, that sent the door flying open.
And he stopped in his steps. Sirius stood there, looking torn, as if he had learned something terrible. His friend was looking at him, and the bundle suspiciously, as if he knew what was carried within the werewolf's arms. Albus was staring at him expectantly.
"Sirius," he whispered so softly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He felt the tears fall down his cheeks again. He wished they would stop, they were not making this any easier.
"Remus . . ." Sirius whispered quizzically as he stepped slowly closer to Remus.
Remus didn't answer, he couldn't. Slowly he laid his burden on the floor before Sirius, who knelt down beside him. Remus removed the cloak, which covered the boy's features.
Sirius gasped looking as if his whole world had collapsed. Remus knew it had. Harry had been the reason why Sirius hadn't recklessly chased after Peter Pettigrew. Harry was the only reason why Sirius had managed to live through all those nights that had been filled with nightmares.
And now Harry was dead.
Sirius picked the boy up into his arms and cuddled him, as if he were a young child.
"He's dead Padfoot. There's nothing you can do for him." Sirius needed to hear that, or else he would always believe that Harry was alive. Remus knew that from experience.
He put his arm around his friend's shoulder. Sirius didn't cry, he just kept a tight hold of Harry's body, slowly rocking him back and forth, like a parent holding their son.
This all seemed so unreal to him. It was impossible. How could Lily and James' son be dead? To have survived so much, only to have died at the hands of the Ministry. If only . . .If only what? He had adopted Harry? No, they did not allow werewolves to raise children. Taken him away from the Dursleys after Harry's third year at Hogwarts, against Albus' will? No, he couldn't have done that, but he should have been able to do something. Taken him away from the Dursleys after Harry's fourth year? Both he and Sirius could have taken care of Harry then, and the Ministry would not have been able to get their hands on the boy. He wished he could go back in time and find some way to reverse Harry's fate.
Remus felt an arm pat his shoulder gently. He turned to see the face of the headmaster staring sorrowfully back and looking towards the boy who lay there lifelessly in Sirius' arms. Tears glittered in his saddened eyes.
"What happened?" The headmaster asked softly.
Remus told his tale, his voice hoarse with grief. How he had waited for several hours for Alexander Brown, but had finally decided that Alexander had Auror business and would not be able to make it. When he came to the part about finding Severus on the ground Albus had looked at him quickly, and he had assured the headmaster that Severus had been alive, if injured. It was at the part where he had found out Harry was dead that he lost his voice and broke down into shuddering sobs that racked his body.
He felt Albus' frail arms gather around him as he sobbed. He knew that he shouldn't, he should be helping Padfoot, but he couldn't help it. He had liked Harry. The boy had been smart, and although more subdued than his father, he had been happy and mischievous, and burned with an inner fire that Lily had had. Harry had been one of his only links to James and Lily, one that had reminded him so much of James when he was at Hogwarts.
Harry had hardly known anything about his parents . . .
Remus didn't know how long he sat there sobbing in Albus' arms. He didn't care. Time no longer really mattered. He looked towards his best friend, who still held the motionless body of his godson and was rocking it slowly back and forth. Just as he had before Remus had broken down. Moony started to move towards Padfoot, when he felt a restraining hand hold him down. He looked up towards Albus quizzically. The headmaster just shook his head and motioned for Remus to follow him.
They went over to Albus' desk, where they both sunk into the comfortable chairs. Sirius didn't move from his position, it was as if he did not even notice them. Remus had a strong feeling that his friend was in a different world altogether.
"He needs some time alone." Albus said quietly. Remus just nodded in agreement as he looked away from his friend. "He was willing to go to Azkaban and join Voldemort to save Harry."
Remus just nodded wordlessly, wishing there was something to do to help his grieving friend.
Suddenly the sound of wings announced the arrival of an owl. Remus watched emotionlessly as the owl flew towards Albus and landed lithely on his desk. It was a beautiful snowy owl that Remus was sure he had seen before. But where? Suddenly his eyes widened. That was Harry's owl.
"What's it say?" He asked the headmaster quietly. There was no need to ask whom the owl was from, it was obviously from Harry's friends, Ron and Hermione.
"They want to help find Harry." The headmaster answered shortly. He picked up a quill.
Before Professor Dumbledore could write anything down, Remus spoke, "Albus, I think it's better if you were to tell them the truth."
"Yes, I agree Remus, though I dread telling them, it is better if they know the truth immediately." Albus quickly scribbled something down on two pieces of parchment, and tied it to the owl's legs. "The Ministry should know also." He added softly at seeing Remus' confused look.
Remus just nodded and looked back to his friend.
***************
No!
It wasn't possible.
It just wasn't possible.
He was alive.
This had to be a trick. It just had to be.
Voldemort was playing a trick on them, this was just a body that he had transfigured to look like Harry. Yes that was it.
But the logical part of him knew that it wasn't possible. Harry was – No! He refused to say that word. It was as if saying that word would make it true.
He rocked the boy back and forth comfortingly like he had during those rare times he had been able to stay with his family overnight. Harry had always been thrilled when he had stayed overnight, staying up long past his normal bedtime just so that Sirius would rock him to sleep. Somehow as a baby, Harry had known that Sirius was his father, and James was his 'uncle'. And now Harry didn't know any of it. He didn't know the truth. The truth about his parentage, something Sirius had always wanted to tell his son . . . He would never be able to. Never. Harry wasn't going to come back.
He was coming back!
But he wasn't going to come back. Sirius tightened his arms around his son.
Sirius had failed them, both his wife and his son. He should have listened to his father. He had been right. Sirius should never have married Lily, he should never have married at all. But he had foolishly listened to his heart.
And now his family was gone . . .
His wife had died first protecting their son.
Now his son was –
NO! Harry wasn't dead!
Sirius stopped rocking and pushed a stray lock away from his son's face. The coolness of the boy's skin did little to ease Sirius. He was too cold. Sirius quickly untied his cloak and wrapped it around the boy, trying to warm his son up.
The blank eyes still stared at him accusingly, unblinking.
It was his fault that Harry was like this. That Harry was de– If only he had tried doing something more. Not listened to anyone's advice. He should have followed his instincts and rescued Harry from that place immediately after hearing about his son's imprisonment. Had he done so none of this would have happened. Harry would still be alive.
Harry was alive. Sirius did not want to believe otherwise. But looking into those blank eyes he knew it was not true.
He knew that Harry was dead.
They would never be together like a family was supposed to be. Never be able to play Quidditch all day, or talk long into the night about nothing in particular while drinking hot chocolate. He would never be able to teach Harry all the secrets of Hogwarts. Never be able to tell his son that he loved him. Harry would never have a chance to live with someone who loved him. Never have the chance to have a real family . . . All because his father had been too afraid to rescue him from Azkaban and had not listened to his instincts.
Sirius pulled his son closer to him. He was the worst father in the world. What kind of father would allow their son to . . . end up like this?
Sirius looked down at his son again, his eyes tracing down the familiar features.
Something wasn't right. Sirius stared at the boy for a moment. He knew something was wrong about all this.
Harry still looked exactly like James.
He shouldn't look like James. The glamorie spell should have disappeared. But why hadn't it?
Hope sparked into Sirius like a small flame.
He put his fingers against Harry's neck, but like Remus felt there was no pulse. That did not deter him. He studied the boy. This had to be a trick, curtsey of Voldemort. Suddenly a gold chain attached to the boy's neck caught his eye. Sirius pulled on it, bringing up a strange medallion. Being a Marauder did have its quirks, and he was able to detect the subtle residue of magic upon the medallion. Quickly, on instinct, he pulled the chain off Harry.
And gasped.
***************
End chapter nine
A/N: Finally I finished this chapter. It seemed to take forever to be written. I'm sorry that it's so delayed, the last few weeks have been busy, the teachers seem to think that all I should be doing is homework and tests and more homework. I hope that this chapter is alright, the last part with Sirius was hard to write. He just wouldn't cooperate. And the other characters, especially Professor Dumbledore seem a little out of character. I tried to fix it, but . . . I don't think that worked.
Thank you so much to all who reviewed.
Minerva-Severus-Dumbledore: Thank you. I'm glad that you like it so far.
Serry: You'll see whether or not Alex lived through all that in the next chapter or so. I'm so glad that you liked my story so far.
snowwy54: You do have a point about Alex's death weighing heavily on Harry. That would probably be the end for Harry wouldn't it? If he thought he killed another person as well. Unfortunately I was unable to have that weekend of peace and quiet, I've been sick over the past few weeks, and the teachers seem to think that all I should be doing is homework, and studying. I hope that this chapter isn't that bad. And would you really buy my book, if I ever managed to write one?! *Author jumps up and down thrilled* Thank you!
Gaby: I hope that all your questions are answered, or will be soon. I won't answer them now so as not to ruin anything for you. I hope that you liked this chapter.
Esaema: I'm glad that you think I'm keeping most of the people in character, that's encouraging to hear. Are they in character in this chapter? I'm not quite sure myself. I think Remus is a little out of it, and Albus seems a little too direct and . . .not himself. What do you think?
usa32: Everything will be cleared up in time, just wait and see, I have that all planned out. I'm glad that you like how I'm portraying the Weasleys, nobody has said anything about that yet, so I'm glad to get feedback on that. Hope that this chapter didn't take too long to come out. Is it alright?
Lady Foxfire: You're one of the few people who realized that about Harry. You'll find out where he is soon. I hope that you found Relle so that you can continue writing. I would offer to edit, but I'm horrible at editing, as you can see from my own story, and I don't have time. Hope you find her soon, I can't wait to find out what happens next in your stories, so please update soon!
kat: Sirius is my favorite character too, and Remus of course. I don't think I could kill them. As for Alex, I have finally decided on his fate, which you will find out in the next chapter. Thank you for all of your reviews! I hope that this story isn't so confusing anymore, or not as confusing. I hope that this chapter isn't too bad.
mcnugget: You'll find out what happened to Harry soon, I can't tell you, or else it'll ruin what I have planned, but don't worry, you didn't miss anything. Harry was in the glen, and then he ran off a little ways and collapsed. I'm so glad that you like my story so far.
Blizzard: Yes Harry is definitely Sirius' son, as to whom the person Voldemort found . . .Can you guess? If not you'll see who it is very soon. I'm sorry it took so long to update the story and I hope that this chapter isn't too disappointing.
Kalih: You like Alexander? I'm glad that you do, actually I think that there are several people who like him. I really didn't mean for him to have such a big role, I just wanted him to take Harry out of Azkaban, but . . .Maybe I can think of a part for him later on in the story, that is if he lived through the attack . . . And see I didn't kill Severus, he'll be fine in the hospital wing – I'm not sure that he'll like it there but, that's where he's going anyways to suffer unspeakable torment under Madame Pomphrey's care . . . Just joking, I don't see him as one of the people who likes being taken care of by others. That was a very interesting description of torment for Alex . . . it's . . .kinda gross, but anyways. How was this chapter? Was it alright? And I'd love to chat, that is if you still want, if you do just tell me, or you can e-mail me at bccreeks@hotmail.com.
Amiasha: Sorry, another cliffhanger. I really didn't mean to do that this time, it just happened that way. I hope that this chapter is alright and not too bad.
Lady Python: And another cliffhanger this time too! I should probably stop that by now, but it's just the perfect place to end some of the chapters. I'm glad that you liked the last chapter and I hope that this one isn't too awful, especially since it was so hard to write. So what do you think? Are the characters too 'out of it' in this chapter?
summersun: Yes things do look rather bad for everyone don't they? I hope that this chapter is alright.
Laterose: So you like my idea? Actually this idea wasn't original, I went looking for other fics where Sirius was Harry's father, and did find them, but most of them weren't completed, so I just wanted to write my own that I would complete. I never thought it would be as long as it is (it's almost fifty pages so far!) As to why there's two of Harry, well there is a reason why Sirius gasps at the end. Can you guess why? I hope that this chapter wasn't too bad.
HPluvva: Yes reviews are very important, they are both encouraging and helpful. And most of your questions will be answered in due time. Now I could leave you all hanging here, at the edge of everything. But I'm not that cruel, the next chapter should be out very soon, I should have the rest of the weekend to finish it. You'll find out about what happens to Alex soon. I'm glad that you liked him. He's one of the better characters that I have created.
Moonlight: I'm glad that you liked the last chapter. As to who the body belongs to, you'll find out next chapter, unless you can guess. I think that glamorie should be able to last over a dead body, especially if it was cast after the person died, but that's just my opinion. As to your question about Snape. Well since he's in the hospital wing right now and I don't think he's going to gain consciousness at any time soon, so if Harry was in the forest, Severus would be unable to help him. I'm so glad that you like my story! Thank you!
august wind: I like your idea about what Alex should do, however I didn't think that people liked OC in the stories so I really didn't plan this story out giving Alex a grand part. Maybe though, if I keep Alex, I can use part of that idea later. Thanks for mentioning that. I'm glad that you liked the last chapter. Is this one alright?
shadowarwen: I'm not telling you who the body was. I'll give you a hint though, the same body that Crabbe found was the same one that Remus found lying beside Snape. (That is if you haven't already figured that out, which you probably have). I hope that this chapter was alright.
skategirl997: Thank you for your review. Your input on Alex's fate is very helpful.
BlackMoon: Thank you. I'm glad that you like it so far.
Sara Minks: I won't tell you whether or not Harry's dead, even though you can probably figure it out. I hope that this chapter helps clarify a few things, and if it doesn't, the next chapter certainly will. You'll find out who exactly the body belongs to in the next chapter.
Christina: Thank you.
Sandrine Black: I'm so glad you like my story so much. Thank you!! There are more fics that have Sirius as Harry's dad, you have to search for them though, I'm not exactly sure where they are. Thank you again! How can you go to bed at 1:30 and get up at 6:15? I couldn't do that, or else I'd fall asleep at school, which wouldn't be a very good thing. Anyways I was just wondering.
carol: Thank you.
Elbereth94: I'm glad that you like my story so far. As to your question about the Dursleys, well they didn't believe that Harry was telling the truth about Sirius Black being his godfather, and they finally couldn't stand Harry anymore. This will probably come up later in the story and there will be a better explanation to your question. For now that's the best explanation I can give.
Anneliese: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews. :) I'm glad that you like my story so far. What do you think of this chapter? Is it alright?
Liza Potter: I'm glad you like it so far. Thank you so much for adding me to your favorites list!
lil' miss: Thanks for telling me about that anonymous quote. I don't know where I've heard it before, since I've never read Othello before. Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Christy: Yes it would work either way, I just didn't know whether I should kill him or not. I do now though.
Thank you so much to all who reviewed for your wonderful reviews. :) Sorry if I missed anyone. All reviews as of November 16, 2002.