Disclaimers: …
I feel like teasing you, so this chapter isn't based on the arrival. HA!
Chapter Twenty-nine: Not there yet
The giant cube that was Heinous' base was remotely quiet. All activity was in The Big Room. All sounds in The Big Room were muffled by the soundproof walls.
The four robo roosters were piloting the base constantly.
At the moment, Heinous was in his room…..along with Sandy.
The scientist slept in his single bed. He was being recharged by wires which came from the wall.
Sandy was curled into a ball in her basket, which was beside Heinous' bed. Like the scientist, she had wires recharging her systems.
Perhaps, sleep was one of the few organic functions they had left in their robotic bodies……even if it was referred to 'sleep mode'.
However, their sleep was interrupted by the sound of music.
"?" Heinous' yellow eyes slowly opened. He sat up in his bed and uncovered himself. He reached a hand out and pressed a button on the wall. The wires detached from his body and seeped back to the wall whence they came. They weren't detached from Sandy though.
Slowly, Heinous stepped out of his bed in an attempt not to wake the sleeping sand shark who seemed unaffected to the loud music.
Heinous stood in the middle of the room…….and listened.
"………"
His head lowered until it was facing the floor. The noise was coming from below.
Heinous raised an eyebrow.
"………"
He exited his room. Luckily, the self-opening door wasn't noisy. All the hall lights were off, but his yellow orbs illuminated wherever he faced.
To his surprise, Albert's door opened as well. The butler came out, attired in a navy top with matching trousers and slippers. In his hand was a lit lantern. In the other was a long pipe.
"Sir…do you hear that?"
"Yeah….it sounds like music."
"Where is it coming from?"
"One floor down," Heinous pointed downward.
"You don't suppose Raxamis is behind this…..do you?"
"Probably. He did say that he found some cool stuff back in the city. Let's go check on him."
Albert nodded silently.
The two made their way towards the elevator.
"….."
"….."
The two crept towards Raxamis' bedroom door. The music was definitely coming from behind the door.
Heinous and Albert crept forward slowly.
They got closer.
"….."
"….."
Closer…
The bright black 'R' became visible with the lights coming from the lantern and eyes
Closer……
Albert's fingers tightened around the steel pipe.
Closer………
Heinous got ready to shoot yellow from his hands.
Closer…………
The music became louder.
Closer……………
One metre separated Heinous and Albert from the wall.
The wall slid open automatically.
Heinous and Albert charged.
Heinous and Albert looked
Heinous and Albert stopped.
Heinous and Albert stared.
"Huh?"
"What the Hell?"
Raxamis' room was completely dedicated to Secret Agent Clank and Courtney Gears. Posters of the pop star and actor covered almost all the walls. There where shelves which were covered with Agent Clank trinkets. Stacks of comic books, racks of CDs, and cases of DVDs and videos where present. The bed was divided in two; one side was pink and the other was black. The only thing normal was a computer station to the far left, even if the monitor had wobble head makes of characters from the show 'Secret Agent Clank'. A ridiculously large stereo rested on a bedside table, right next to an Agent Clank alarm clock.
And in the center of it all, was Raxamis, dancing to a song sung by Courtney Gears. His back was too Heinous and Albert and his cape lay hanging from a coat hanger. His utility belt was on his bed. The solo was approaching its end and at the exact moment it finished, Raxamis twirled around and faced Heinous.
"!.!.!" he eyes bulged and he ran to the stereo and shut it off. "Uncle Jerry…Jeeves," he simpered as if nothing happened, "what brings you two here?"
"More importantly," Albert folded his arms, still holding the pipe and lantern, "where did you get these items?"
"From the city…….right after you went flying."
Albert raised an eyebrow. "You got all this from the city?"
"Yup. Turns out I'm not the only obsessed fanboy in the galaxy. I found a bunch of stuff dedicated to Secret Agent Clank, Courtney Gears and Captain Qwark."
"All from the city?"
"Uh huh."
"But wasn't the city--no--the planet abandoned before the birth of Secret Agent Clank?"
"It was. But I found some robot who adored them. Seeing that he was on the verge of breakdown, I put him out of his misery by destroying him. Then I took all this stuff, put it in the vehicle and brought it here."
"There's quite a lot of it."
"What?.! A fanboy's gotta have his comforts!"
"More like a stalker!" Heinous called from near a stack of comic books. "You have everything except for a Secret agent Clank toothbrush!"
Raxamis was silent.
Heinous' eyes widened. "No way…"
"The third row from the top behind you," Raxamis pointed.
Heinous turned around and squinted his eyes to see. There it was; a toothbrush with Clank's head on the tip of the handle. Heinous turned around to face Raxamis.
"But you don't even have teeth," he said.
Raxamis shrugged. "So?"
"And what do you use this computer for?" Albert asked gesturing to the computer. "Download Agent Clank movies and Courtney Gears songs?"
"I thought you liked Agent Clank," Heinous remarked.
"Not that much."
"I use the computer to write fanfics and stuff. I'll continue writing tomorrow."
Heinous smirked at Raxamis. "You're a Courtney Gears fan, are ya?"
"Look around you, sir," Albert gestured, arms wide.
"Go to bed, Albert," Heinous said coldly.
"Hm?
"I said 'got to bed'."
"Fine, but make sure he turns the music down, or uses headphones."
And he was gone.
Heinous looked back at Raxamis. "So you like Courtney Gears?"
"Do I ever!"
"Come with me."
Raxamis walked forward with a plain face. "Sure."
In a familiar lab, Heinous removed a sheet which covered a robot.
Raxamis gasped. "Courtney!.!.!.!" he looked at Heinous. "What happened to her?.!"
"Ratchet happened to her. A year ago, word spread that Courtney had gone missing. I was curious about it myself. So I went to the Obani Draco, a place where Courtney filmed her music videos. I was looking for her encase I could use her to fight. She can fight, you know. There, I also found the pink laser which we will attach to my weapon. I then brought her here, planning to fix her later. Would you like to help me fix her?"
"I'd give up my whole CD collection for it."
"Let's not get specific." Heinous made for the door, "Let's go get the tools I stole before I met you. They're in The Big Room."
The twp robots exited, leaving the 'deceased' Courtney on her own, temporarily.
Elsewhere aboard the Starship Phoenix…
Nefarious, Helga and Al stood in the VR deck.
"Ratchet and Clank avays use their weapons," Helga said to Al, "but Nefarious uses hiz body and nothing more! He's almost as good as me."
"Really?" Al scratched his chin.
"Please," Nefarious put up a hand in defense, "there's no need for you to be so hyped about it. These levels are too easy! Think you can get me a hard one?"
"We could, but we need to wait two hours to download anything," Al stated.
"I can't wait that long!" Nefarious bellowed.
Al gulped.
"I need a break from the VG9000 before I take Jeremy on. And when I find the smallest once of hardness, you take it away from me!"
The angry robot pounded the console childishly.
Al gasped. "Nefarious stop. You're gonna--!"
FLASH!
Nefarious and Helga--who had been standing on the teleportation pad--were gone.
Al sweated. "Oh no."
He looked at the screen.
Nefarious and Helga where in the center of the VR arena. They looked around curiously.
"So….." Nefarious said, "where are the testbots?"
"This is terrible!" Al's voice boomed from above.
"I'll say!" Helga spat. "Zere are no testbots!"
"Actually," Al sounded scared, "there are."
As if one cue, one of the pods descended. The usual electricity was seen emerging. The pod rose, revealing what looked like a bright green testbot.
"Is that it?.!" Nefarious pointed dramatically.
"No it isn't."
More pods came down, producing several testbots. More than usual. Instead of going after Nefarious and Helga, they went towards the green testbot.
"This is bad."
"Will you shut up?.?.?." Nefarious gripped his head as if he was experiencing a headache.
Suddenly, all the testbots charged into the green on. They hung onto each other. The pile got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.
Nefarious and Helga found themselves having to tilt their heads up a little.
In front of them, 'stood' the pile, taking shape. Eventually, it had the physical shape of something with arms and legs…..but no head. It took up almost half of the arena.
"You're in for it now. This level was still being tested. No one's managed to survive against that!"
"Then get us outta here!"
"I can't, Nefarious. It's not fully downloaded; you have to beat it if you wanna get out."
"That's good enough for me."
"Ya!" Helga agreed.
Nefarious jumped up and remained suspended in midair. He rolled into a ball and concentrated.
"AAAAAAAGH!.!.!.!.!.!.!"
ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!.!.!.!
Nefarious hovered out of the way so the portal he created could fire a large, purple laser.
The laser ate at the ground and slowly advanced towards the fusion.
ZAAAAAAAAAAA--CRRKKKKKKKK!
The giant was split in two.
Plant! Nefarious landed besides Helga. "All done," he smirked.
CRRKKKKKKKKK! The two pieces fused.
"Not done," Nefarious said.
"You have to destroy that green testbot from earlier. Without it, all the testbots will scatter and things will be easy from there."
"Okay, Helga. I'll go high and you'll go low."
Helga gave a thumb's up.
They charged/hovered.
POW!
Helga charged through one of the monster's legs.
The golem 'looked' down and prepared to hit her with its 'hand'.
"Eat this, stink head!"
The golem 'looked'.
Nefarious hovered in front, a glowing blue ball in hand. He tossed it.
The monster blocked with its 'arm'.
BLAAAAM!.!.!.!.!.!
The golem's entire 'arm' was shattered into several 'pieces'………….which reformed.
"DAMMIT!" Nefarious charged.
"HA!" PUNCH! "YAAGH!" KICK! HiYAAAAAHH!" SOCK!
Using her incredibly obese body, Helga laid waste to the 'leg' while Nefarious kept the golem distracted.
Plant. The robot landed and charged something up--
WOOOOOSH!
A hologram of Nefarious leapt at the speed of sound.
POW!
It tore a hole through one of the 'feet'………which regenerated.
"He's gotta be in there somewhere," Nefarious said to himself.
"Try the chest, guys. The chest!"
Nefarious had an idea. He started running towards Helga's area.
The fitness trainer was still attacking the same place.
The golem made a 'fist'. The 'fist flew.
FWOOOOOOSH--!
Scoop.
--POW!.!.!.!.!.!
The monster hit the floor where Helga was a second ago. Instead, Nefarious had her by the arm while hovering a few feet in the virtual air.
"Vhat are you--?.!"
Before Helga could finish, Nefarious spun both of them around……………faster…….faster…fasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfaster-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f--!
FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
Helga flew like a rocket straight into the golem--
POW!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
--and fell out the other side into the electric field where her butt was singed.
Nefarious didn't care, because he could see the green testbot. He produced a blue ball and flew head-on.
The hole was closing fast; Nefarious had to be quick.
Luckily, he managed to pace the blue ball inside and clear out right before--
BLAAAM! CRRKKKKKK!.!.!.!
The green testbot--along with other testbots which where too close--was destroyed instantly and the golem crumbled.
"Alright!" Nefarious smiled proudly. "We did it!"
Helga rubbed he singed rear and glared at him.
"Don't celebrate too soon! You still have the testbots to destroy before you're out."
The surviving testbots were already rising. Bomb Gloves, Wallopers and Pyrociters were equipped.
"I can do that."
"Und me too."
Nefarious landed--
CRASH!
--and broke two testbots.
He reached an arm out, grabbed a testbot by the head and squeezed it to pieces. CRUNCH!
"HUAH!"
SLAM!
Helga did a body slam on five testbots.
One came at her with a Pyrociter.
FWOOOOOMB!
Helga got up, jumped forward, snatched the Pyrociter and used it as a baseball bat.
SMACK!
The testbot was broken in two.
BLAAAAM! BLAAAM! BLAAAM!
Nefarious threw three blue balls, destroying testbots on impact and even more testbots by shockwave.
PUNCH!
"Agh!"
Nefarious feel forward from the blow sent to him by a testbot wielding a Walloper.
Nefarious grunted, equipped a ray gun from out of nowhere and shot at the robot.
ZAAAAAP!
The robot was destroyed.
Nefarious stood up and prepared to attack incoming, Bomb Glove wielding testbots.
WHAP!
Helga kicked a testbot.
It teetered back into a fellow testbot.
Stomp-Stomp-Stomp-STOMP! CRASH!
Helga charged into both of them.
BOOM!
The bomb missed.
Nefarious landed behind the testbot, grabbed it and hurled randomly.
THWACH!
Helga threw a severed head into a testbot.
She was unaware of an advancing testbot, coming from behind…armed with a Bomb Glove--
CRASH!
A flying testbot came and crashed into it, breaking both of them upon contact.
Helga looked around after destroying a testbot with a bear hug. She saw the broken robots.
"……"
She shrugged it off and back-punched a testbot. TWAP!
Nefarious jumped up, hovered, charged, curled and moved out of the way for--
PFFTOOOOM!
PFFFHTTOOOOOOOM!
PFFFFFFFFFT!
PH-PH-PH-PHFWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
Several missiles flew out of a portal and headed for the arena.
Helga saw it and prepared to dodge.
BOOM-BOOM-BOOOOOOM-BOOM-B-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
Helga managed to dodge every missile by running left and right.
Only one testbot remained.
Nefarious and Helga looked at each other.
"………."
"………"
They smirked.
Helga held a hand up.
SWOOOOOSH-GRIP-YANK!.!.!
Nefarious flew down, grabbed her and pulled her up.
He spun both of them around……………faster…….faster…fasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfasterfaster-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f--!
FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
Helga flew straight at the last testbot.
CRASH!.!.!.!
All the testbots were defeated.
Nefarious landed.
He and Helga looked at each other.
"…"
"…"
They smiled and gave each other a thumb's up.
"Great work, you two! Now you can get outta there!"
FLASH!
FLASH!
Nefarious and Helga where back in the VR deck.
"Great work!" Al cheered. "Looks like Ratchet isn't the only badass here, eh?"
Helga simpered. "Ya."
"Whatever," Nefarious made to leave. "I'm gonna go play Empire Hearts." He was gone.
"Vot's 'iz problem?"
"Nothing, Helga. He just needs some more time here. He'll get to like us sooner or later."
The two left the room and went their separate ways.
Aboard Heinous' base…
Heinous and Raxamis toiled on Courtney in the lab.
Both had determined looks on their faces.
They worked silently.
There you go. I had this chapter planned for quite a while. It was nice to finally see it posted on the Net.
Don't worry……they'll be at Bogon soon. But the next update will take a while.