Disclaimers: BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRP!... Excuse me.
A reviewer asked for more action. All I have to say to that is: Read this. It'll be funny and action-packed.
Great news, everyone! Heinous will not tell constructobots to build anything anymore! Even I was getting annoyed at it.
I dedicate this chapter to Gruntzilla for one of his ideas. Which one is it, you ask? Read to find out.
Chapter Thirty: Asking for help
D-Ding!
Two familiar robots walked into a convenience store.
The store clerk looked up from the counter where he was reading a magazine. He readjusted his glasses.
"Hi. Um, do have any maps for this galaxy?" a tall, pointy-headed robot with a scratch on his torso greeted and asked. He held out a hand for the short robot to give him a wallet……which he did. He went on, "We're from another galaxy, and we don't know our way around very well."
The store clerk smiled. "You bet, Mister! We've got galactic maps, 3D maps, foldouts, cutouts…" as he listed, he pulled out an item from under the counter and pilled them on top of each other, "…maps to the stars, and our homes."
"Hm," the tall robot rubbed his chin, "they could be very helpful. How much for this one?" he pointed at the product at the top of the stack.
"One Bolt," the clerk replied with out inspecting the price tag.
"Is this one Bolt in your galaxy?" the robot held his palm out with a single bolt.
"Yes, it is."
"Okay then," the robot smiled. "You have the same currency as us. I'll take the lot!"
"Twelve Bolts, please."
"There you go," twelve bolts were placed on the countertop.
"Thanks, and have a nice day."
"We will. Albert, carry them will you?"
"Right away, sir--"
"Would you like a bag?" the clerk asked.
"No thanks, we're all for the environment and stuff."
The short robot scooped all the items up. The two robots turned to leave.
D-Ding!
A single door opened. From deep space, Heinous' blue ship passed through the smoke-like shield and landed in The Big Room.
Sandy was waiting silently, while Raxamis sat cross-legged, reading something on a laptop.
The ship touched down. Heinous and Albert exited. And--no--there weren't any troopers.
"It's about time!" Raxamis exclaimed. "I've been studying my ass off for hours!"
"Rar r-rawr rarrr raaaar."
Heinous translated. "Sandy says that it's only been ten minutes."
"Well, it feels like fifteen!" Raxamis pouted.
"Please, Raxamis. We're in a new galaxy. We have no idea of their ways here."
"Sir, the store clerk behaved like any other in Solana," Albert said.
"Err… He was an exception."
"If you say so, sir. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be distributing these in your room." Albert walked to the elevator.
"Okay. Raxamis, give me the phonebook I bought earlier," Heinous said.
"What for?" Raxamis raised an eyebrow.
"So I can search for someone who can protect us."
"From what?"
"Ratchet, Clank and--no doubt--Vince."
"What?.! That makes no sense, dude. How would they know that we're here?"
"Simple, really," Heinous said as he smiled proudly. "Ratchet and Clank came here two years ago. They made friends here too. There's no doubt that raritanium is as useful here as it is……or was back in Solana. When we start steeling it, Ratchet and Clank will be called for help just like they were last time. They'll come here and try to crew us over. So I'll be getting help whether you like it or not."
"But it'll take them weeks to get here! By then, we'd have finished."
"I'm not taking any chances. And who knows? The technology here is more advanced than that in Solana. Ratchet and Clank could get here faster than we did."
Raxamis looked defeated. "You win."
"Oh not yet, Raxamis. Not by a long shot. Sandy, hand me a phone please."
Sandy's mouth opened a full one hundred and eighty degrees. Heinous reached a hand in and pulled out a phone with a cord.
"Raxamis, could you hand me the phone book?"
"Sure thing, Uncle," Raxamis held a big, thick, yellow book in his hands.
Heinous sat cross-legged. He took the book from Raxamis and laid it down in front of him. He flicked through the pages with his free hand.
Eventually, he found something.
"I found something!"
"What is it?" Raxamis asked.
"An organization that offers protection. Ooh, they even have a special offer!"
Heinous dialed the number.
"…"
"…."
"….it's ringing."
After three rings, someone picked up. This someone had a deep, raspy voice.
"Thugs-4-Less. Pay for six hits, and the seventh is free."
"Good news," Sasha said to the Q-Force, "the coordinates from Ratchet's ship have been downloaded into the Phoenix's mainframe. And with the information supplied by Clank about the people of the galaxy's ways, we should know how to handle things here."
"What about me?" Qwark looked offended.
Sasha sighed. "And thanks to Captain Qwark, all Crotchetizers we by have a twenty percent discount."
Qwark smiled proudly.
Ratchet grimaced.
Sasha swiveled around to face the lombax. "Ratchet, is there anyone here who could be of help to us? Someone who knows about the galaxy more than all of us?"
Ratchet thought for a moment. "Well there is someone who knows people in high places."
"Where does he live?"
Ratchet was about to speak when he realized something. ''He'?' he thought. 'Okay, Ratchet. Think. Sasha and you are no longer together. We're 'friends'. But still…Sasha--despite her professionalism and all--can be jealous some times. But what the Hell did I have to worry about? I mean…the other one and I have never been……close. It's was more of a brother-sister thing. Yeah. So I'll just say it. No ifs ands or buts about it! I'll say 'she'. I'll say it again and again if I have to.'
Ratchet gulped. He said, "She lives on Planet Grelbin. It's a very cold planet. This friend of mine works at Megacorp. She's good friends with the boss. And the boss is good friends with me. So…….yeah. Take us to Grelbin Orbit, and Clank and I will take it from there."
"…….um, okay. We'll take you there," Sasha didn't seem the least bit angry, much to Ratchet's relief.
The Phoenix Captain barked an order at some rangers. They saluted and ran to their control stations.
Ratchet felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Qwark.
The costumed hero smirked. "Were you referring to that tall lombax from the Protopet Factory?"
Ratchet sweated. "Maybe…"
"Got two girls now, eh? Heh heh."
Ratchet frowned. "Cut it out, Qwark."
"You're buuuuuuuushhhhhing."
"Stop it!" a red-faced Ratchet exclaimed loud enough for Qwark to hear, but soft enough for Sasha not to.
"Whatever," Qwark had an irremovable grin as he walked away.
"……," Ratchet looked to his right.
A ranger was staring at him.
"It's obviously not true," Ratchet said as casually as he could.
The ranger kept staring.
"Yeah, well you try being in my shoes and see how you like it.
The ranger didn't stop staring.
"Oh, go get blown up by a tyhrranoid!" Ratchet huffed and walked away.
……………………
Al came by and noticed the still-standing ranger.
He raised an eyebrow. "Why's this ranger switched off?"
He went to the robot's back and pressed the hidden switch.
The ranger switched on and walked away.
On a planet with a red sky, a blue ship landed in a parking lot full of ships that were all identical.
Heinous, Albert, Raxamis and Sandy walked out. Sandy was walking this time.
"I don't understand why they asked you to meet them in person," Albert said.
"Isn't it obvious?" Heinous remarked. "Thugs-4-Less has probably dealt with Ratchet and Clank before. The Leader probably hates them so much, that he'll take any excuse to come after them without it being illegal. He probable wants to thank us for it."
"Do you really think so?"
"Yeah. Either that, or that's what they always do."
"All I know is that this had better be worth it!" Raxamis grumbled. "I'm one hour overdue for my fanfic."
"You're still writing that thing? I already finished mine."
"I started a new one. Mallet and Clonk. Dr. Horrible is back. Man, I can't believe no one thought about it!"
"Rarrrr rawwwr."
"Sandy says you should get a life."
"And I say Sandy should get some frikkin' arms!"
"Sir, we're here."
The four robots stood at a big door. Guarding it were two brutes.
One of them stepped forward. "Can we help you?"
Heinous spoke. "Hello, we're here to see the Thug Leader."
"He doesn't make appointments."
"No, you see he asked us to meet him here. This is Thugs-4-Less, isn't it?"
"Are youz…….Dr. Heinous?"
"Yes, that's who I am."
Without smiling, the brute said, "Sorry 'bout that--" he stepped aside "--you're expected. Word has it that you wants protection against Ratchet 'n Clank."
"Yeah. Although they might not come, I'd like to feel safe when I'm working."
Heinous felt a little twitchy for some reason.
"Probably not from Ratchet and Clank."
The brute cocked an eyebrow. "Who?"
FLASH!
FLASH!
"Clam yourself," Heinous pants.
For some reason, he can see his own breath.
"Let me go! NOW!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!"
FLASH!
FLASH!
"Err. No one. My mistake. Let's go, guys."
"I'll escort you to the Leader's office," the second thug finally spoke. "After all, you have no idea where to go, do you?"
"No...I don't. Ahem. Thank you."
The four robots were escorted inside.
The inside of the base was rather strange. Some places would be empty while others would be exploding with activity. Brutes, henchmen, elites, second class brutes……any kind of thug would walk past the four robots and brute without a second glance. Some were even laughing about something like they were friends. Thugs weren't the only things present; there were robots, hundreds of them. Not to mention war machines. Close combat training, weapons, obstacle courses, stealth, and vending machines.
Heinous was perplexed at the technology.
Albert was entranced by how professional everyone looked.
Sandy was intrigued at all the small robots.
Raxamis was annoyed at how many organics there where. It was in his programming to destroy them. And letting them pass by was just……bad.
"Did you guys just build this place?" Heinous asked the brute.
"No. Megacorp robots built it," the brute said. "They're the fastest builders in the galaxy. One thing youz should know is that this base used to be smaller. But after Ratchet and Clank attacked, and our Leader returned, we didn't wanna take any chances."
"Wow. Guess you really aren't a bunch of brainless thoogs," Raxamis said.
SCREEEEEEEEECH!
The brute stopped, resulting in the whole group stopping. And to make matters worse, nearby thugs stared angrily.
Albert gulped.
Heinous froze.
The brute turned around slowly. He slowly skirted the line so he could face Raxamis. The brute didn't tower over him; they were more or less the same height.
The brute spoke, "What did you say?"
Raxamis didn't hesitate. "That you really weren't a bunch of brainless thoogs."
"Did you think we were brainless?"
"Yes, but I guess I was wrong. Hehe."
"….."
"You're….um, awesome."
All the thugs who were staring continued with what they were doing as if nothing happened. The brute huffed and sauntered to the front of the line.
"Raaaar."
"Sandy says that you're an--"
"Aw, shut up!"
The group walked for a few more minutes until it came to a stop in front of a door which looked like any other automatic double-door in the base. It did--however--have a logo on it which was indescribable.
"This is it," the brute said. "You'll find another door behind this one. Knock and wait for the Leader's order." He started walking away without another word.
"Not very social, are they?" Albert remarked.
"Why the Hell are we getting help from a bunch of squishies?.?.?" Raxamis asked. "I say we kill every last one of them in the base and use their technology to--"
"Raxamis, please. Don't you understand that my cause is still there," Heinous explained. "Yes, I'm out to destroy all organic life. But not in Bogon!"
Albert raised an eyebrow.
Heinous went on, "Ruling ONE galaxy of robots is hard enough! I don't want Bogon, but that doesn't mean we have to like them."
"Rarrrrrr rawwwr."
"What did she say?" Raxamis asked.
"She said that we should stop wasting time and get this over with," Heinous translated. "I agree. Come on. We'll discus this later."
"Alright."
"Whatevah."
The doors slid open as expected, revealing a long hallway. None of the lights flickered, no words were said…no breaths were taken…not like they could be.
Soon, the group came across a door.
"…."
"……"
"…."
"………..," Heinous knocked.
"Who's 'ere?" a deep, raspy voice called.
"Dr. Heinous, remember? We discussed protection over the Phone."
"Ah…yes. 'Bout time you got 'ere. Come in."
The door slid up and the robots walked in.
It was a typical office; plush carpets and chairs, a long table for meetings, a desk a few feet away from the table with stairs leading to it, pictures of Thugs-4-Less commercialism on the walls and--of course--a swivel chair.
And--exactly as Raxamis suspected--the chair's back was facing the group.
"Take a seat," the man behind the chair said, gesturing to all the chairs around the table.
They all sat closest to the main chair, but didn't take the vacant seat which was obviously for the Leader. Sandy sat on the table. To her right was Heinous at the edge. To his right was the Leader's desk. Raxamis sat in front of Heinous and Albert sat to Raxamis' right.
Silence.
Heinous was about to say something--
"Do you know why I called you here?" the Leader asked.
"Because we did something wrong?" Raxamis asked stupidly.
"The only ones who have done something wrong are Ratchet and Clank," the Leader said.
"What happened?" Heinous asked.
"'Bout two years ago, Ratchet and Clank attacked our base. Several thugs were killed along with thousands of Bolts worth in property damage. But he didn't kill at our base only. Oh no no no no. Some of my recruits were employed by this thief, yeah. Ratchet and Clank killed them. Megacorp hired us to protect their CEO Mr. Fizzwidget. Ratchet and Clank beat us again. That lombax should have 'is genitalia hung from a flagpole for all to point and laugh, while Clank should get turned into a toaster."
"How…….interesting…" Heinous said nervously.
"What's a genitalia?" Raxamis asked Albert in a whisper.
"Err, I don't know. Sorry!" Albert whispered back quickly.
"I was one of the thugs who tried to stop those two at the base. To be honest, Ratchet and Clank managed to beat me three times. One the third time, I died."
"You mean you're a cyborg or something?"
"No. What I mean is that the old Thugs-4-Less Leader is gone. In other words, that changed me for life."
"What happened?" Albert asked.
"Before my robot exploded, I hit the ejector button. I had escaped the explosion, but I was going off-coarse. I found myself on a deserted island with no way out. A little piece of me died on that island. But when I got back, my first decision was to rebuild Thugs-4-Less. Make it bigger 'n better. Then we hoped that someone would ask us to assassinate him. And you're that one."
"Boy, if I had a Bolt for every time someone said that…" Raxamis' voice lingered as he mused.
The Leader finally swiveled around. His purple, lizard-like face was deadpan. His solid red eyed eyes were emotionless. The scar which went through his left eye was straight and irremovable. He was clad in thug uniform. His feet were bare and his hands were coated in fingerless gloves. His left eye twitched.
Everyone stared.
He limped towards the table.
"You know how I got this?" the Leader pointed at his twitchy left eye.
Everyone shook their head in unison.
"Neither do I. I would have settled for the just scar, but my eye started twitching. It just won't stop twitching. It happened after the crash. I don't remember, 'cause I was out of commission for a few hours. And all this because of Ratchet and Clank. Your hiring us has given a chance to help you as much as it's gonna help us get rid of a most hated enemy."
He pulled out a chair and sat down.
"So…are you in or not?"
"Of course," Heinous said with a smirk.
"Good, because I've already sent someone out to assassinate Ratchet and Clank."
Heinous blinked confusingly. "What do you mean? Ratchet doesn't know we're in Bogon yet. I'm only hiring your thugs, cuz I wanna feel safe after it's revealed that this galaxy's running out of raritanium. Ratchet won't make an appearance just yet."
"We know. But it's good to think ahead."
"Well, I guess you're right. Tell us about this assassin."
"Does he have cool weapons?" Raxamis beamed.
"This assassin's name is 'Agent J'. He's killed many times before," the Leader explained. "He's only hired for really big missions. He's equipped with the latest and oldest weapons on from Megacorp. The list just goes on and on."
"Sound like he's perfect for the job," Heinous commented.
The Leader went on as if only he was speaking, "You probably know this, but Ratchet and Clank know someone in this galaxy. This someone's has helped them many times before. She used to be the thief I told you about earlier. She also works at Megacorp and--along with Ratchet and Clank--has saved Mr. Fizzwidget from Captain Qwark."
"Who's Mr. Fizzwidget? What do you mean by 'saved from Captain Qwark'?"
"Mr. Fizzwidget is the founder of Megacorp. There was this experiment. A very dangerous experiment. It was stolen by the thief. Fizzwidget called Ratchet and Clank for help. The thief employed us to protect her by keeping Ratchet and Clank away. She was trying to destroy the experiment. However, Ratchet and Clank got in the way and handed the experiment over to Fizzwidget. The old man decided to sell it as a Megacorp product by making copies of it and giving them away as pets to consumers while keeping the original locked up in a factory. The thief teamed up with Ratchet and Clank to get the experiment back. Then Fizzwidget was revealed to be Qwark in disguise. He knew that the experiment was dangerous. His plan was to put everyone in danger and then save them so they'll think he's a hero. The real Fizzwidget's location during all of this was unknown, but he was found and very grateful for it."
"Couldn't have thought of it better myself," Raxamis mused.
"What about this assassin?" Albert asked.
"Agent J's been sent to Planet Grelbin. That's where the ex-thief lives. And that's where Ratchet and Clank will go for help first. He knows what they look like and is temporarily taking up residence there as well."
"Hey, I have a question," Raxamis raised his hand. "What's the name of the ex-thief?"
"Unfortunately, I don't remember. But I know what she looked like."
"What is she?" Heinous asked.
"A lombax."
"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" Raxamis made a schoolgirl face. "Ratchet's got a girlfriend. Ratchet's got a girlfriend--"
"Albert's got a headache," Albert chanted mockingly as he palmed his forehead.
"Actually, Raxamis," Heinous began, "Ratchet was with Sasha, but they broke up."
Raxamis blinked, "Oh."
A beat.
"Ratchet's got two girlfriends. Ratchet's got two girlfriends. Ratchet's go--"
"Any more questions?" the Leader asked patiently.
"Nope."
"No."
"Nuh uh."
"Rrrar."
"She said no."
"Good. Now I understand you're looking for raritanium," the thug Leader changed the subject. "We can help you out in that one too."
Heinous leaned his head to the side. "What do you have in mind?"
In Tundor Wastes, a green shuttle with the Qwark logo touched down on a landing pad. Out from the back, Ratchet--clad in Duroplate Armor--Clank and Lawrence walked out.
"Just wait a few minutes, Skidd," Clank called back. "We will be back shortly."
"You got it, dude!" Skidd's voice came from inside. The door closed.
The group began walking the short bridge.
"I can't believe Qwark talked me into using his shuttle," Ratchet grumbled.
"Your ship is too small," Lawrence simply said.
"Why are you even here?" Ratchet asked.
"Master Nefarious' gaming was becoming quite irritating, so I thought I'd come along and meet this friend of yours."
"Sounds reasonable," Ratchet said as he scrolled through his watch. "Ah here it is."
Cl-Clack!
Ratchet grinned as his R.I.N.O. II materialized electronically in his hands.
Somewhere on the roof of the mineshaft…
Someone perched, binoculars in hand.
His lizard-like, green skin showed that he was from Snivelak. The fact that he was clad in the uniform of a thug showed that he was a Thugs-4-Less recruit.
"Blimey, look at that," Agent J said in an Australian accent, "seem they took less time than I thought." He put the binoculars down. "No matter, it'll be quick, I can collect me money and be known as a Thugs-4-Less hero. Hell yes!"
He searched in his storage watch for a weapon.
The group passed by the circle. The mystic sat in his chair, legs folded into a lotus position, fingers touching, and eyes closed.
He seemed to know of a presence other than himself, so he opened one orange eye.
"Greetings, young ones," he said, smiling a jagged tooth smile. This forced the group to stop.
"Err…hi there," Ratchet was at loss of words.
"Would you happen to be traveling the snow today?" the mystic asked with both eyes open.
"Yes, we are," Clank responded.
"Be careful," the mystic's eyes frowned a little. "I am sensing a great evil coming here. You must be cautious; this evil is remarkably powerful."
"What would that 'evil' be?" Ratchet asked, eyebrow cocked.
"I dare not speak of it."
"Not sweat," Ratchet pointed at his big gun with his free hand, "I've dealt with evil before."
"I'm afraid your weapons won't stop it," the mystic pointed. "I'm the only one who can stop it…and yet it always comes back again some time later!"
"Don't think I can stop it?" Ratchet smirked. "We'll see. Come on, Clank, Lawrence." He started walking away.
"It was nice meeting you," Clank said and followed Ratchet.
Lawrence bowed silently and followed.
The mystic sighed. "These young ones are so quick these days."
He resumed meditating.
Meanwhile…
"There we go," Agent J said as a Vaporizer electronically materialized in his hands.
He flattened himself, being protected from the cold snow by his armor. He crawled to the edge of the roof…on an extended piece of ice, and took aim. The back of Ratchet's helmet was visible. The assassin smirked.
"Say 'cheese', you mangy marsupial."
His finger tightened around the trigger--
CRACK!
The assassin blinked and gasped.
The ice was collapsing under him.
He gulped.
C-C-CRA-ACK!
The ice collapsed completely.
Agent J's eyes widened as he fell.
WHUMP!
He didn't have time to scream as he fell the short distance. At the moment he had his head in the snow. He released the Vaporizer--which was still in his hand after he fell--and pushed.
TWOP!
He freed his head fro the snow.
"Hm?" the mystic noticed the sudden noise and looked towards the mine shaft.
A snowman stood near a hole.
The mystic shrugged and turned around to continue meditating.
"……….whew," the snowman sighed in relief and pressed a button at the bottom of its torso.
Suddenly, the snowman was replaced with Agent J, wearing a white belt.
The assassin smirked as he silently pulled the belt off. "Megacorp's Snow-Guise," he put the gadget away in his watch. "Never fails unless you're on Planet Tabora."
He turned around, bent down and picked up the Vaporizer he was covering.
He took aim again………..but lowered the weapon, because of the hills blocking his view.
"I'll have to do this at close range," he replaced the Vaporizer with an HK22 Gun. "This'll get 'em."
He started walking as quietly as possible. Soon enough he was catching up with the group. However, his excitement triggered a noise.
Lawrence made to turn around.
Agent J gasped. He saw a hole. He jumped into it.
Lawrence turned around completely and had seen nothing.
"……….."
He continued walking.
In the dark hole, Agent J panted as he put his weapon away.
"Blimey! Almost saw me, he did. I should be more--"
He stopped as he felt something.
"What in the Blue Hell? It's soft and fury and warm and…..it's breathing."
He lit a match and looked.
A Y.E.T.I. looked back, red eyes glaring.
Agent J gulped. "Struth."
The Y.E.T.I. blew out the match.
….
…
…
POW! "AAAAGH!" WHAP! "DAAAAH!" SLAP! "OWIE!"
WHOOOOOOOSH!
A bruised and bleeding Agent J was thrown out of the hole with incredible strength.
His screams became harder to hear as he fell towards the horizon.
"Did you hear something?" Ratchet asked as he stopped.
"I did not," Clank said.
"Neither did I," Lawrence said.
"Why aren't those pain-in-the-ass monsters coming out to eat us?"
"My scanners say it is their hibernation," Clank said.
"They could have had it when we where here. They were even more annoying than those serpent things."
"Are you referring to the leviathans?"
"Yeah….those. Let's keep moving. We just need to go up that ramp," Ratchet pointed to a ramp behind a tower of ice.
Konk-Konk-Konk.
Ratchet knocked on a familiar dome-shaped house's door.
"…."
"…."
"………I don't believe anyone's home," Lawrence said.
"Just wait a bit, Lawrence," Ratchet turned his head around to look at the butler.
"Ratchet, look!" Clank pointed excitedly.
The door opened slightly and a fury head appeared to look.
"Hi," Ratchet smiled helplessly and waved.
"Ratchet?.!" Angela's eyes widened. "Clank?.!"
"Look, I know it's shocking," Ratchet said, "but just give us some time to explain."
"Sure," Angela stepped out all the way. She was clad in the same attire as usual. "It's just that," she went on, "this is such a shock. You just leave Bogon and come back a year later. Don't expect everything to be normal."
"Please don't be mad at me--"
"'Mad'?" Angela chuckled a little. "Come in and make yourselfers comfortable." She noticed Lawrence, "Who's he?"
"Lawrence, madam," Lawrence bowed, "at your service." He walked into the house.
"He's helping us out," Ratchet said as he walked in. "We'll explain everything."
"Greetings, Angela," Clank said as he looked up…up...up…up to look Angela in the eye, "it is nice to see you again."
"Nice to see you too," Angela smiled a little.
The little robot trotted in after the others.
Angela was alone.
"Just like old times," she mused.
The lombax walked into her home and shut the door.
The interior of Angela's home was much bigger than it looked on the outside. It was a four-roomed dome; bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. At the moment, everyone was in the living room.
Ratchet removed his helmet and sat on one end of the sofa while Angela sat on the other. Clank sat alone on an armchair which was too big for him. Lawrence decided to stand near Clank's sitting spot.
Angela spoke first. "I knew you'd come here. I just didn't think it'd be so soon."
Ratchet leaned his head to side. "How?"
"News has come to Bogon that you were coming here to track down an evil robotic scientist, named Dr. Heinous. So, I figured you'd come here to ask me for help, right?"
"Right," Ratchet said. He looked up. "So, you're not mad at Clank and I, are you?"
"Of course not!" Angela couldn't help but smirk. "You and Clank left the galaxy in such a hurry, because yours was in danger of Dr. Nefarious. And to be more specific, you went there to save your home planet. How could I be mad at you? Oh, that reminds me…how's your girlfriend?"
Ratchet did a double-take. "Huh?"
"You know," Angela pressed, "that person I saw you with at Clank's movie. I think her name was…… Sasha? Yeah, Sasha. How is she?"
His ears fell. "She's fine."
Angela noticed Ratchet's sorrow. "Did I say something wrong?"
"No... It's just that…--you tell her, Clank."
Angela looked at Clank.
The robot's eyes shaped themselves to look sad. "Ratchet and Sasha have broken up."
Angela cupped her mouth. "S-Sorry! I didn't know. I don't watch all the news, what with work and all."
"It's okay, we're good," Ratchet showed a weak smile. He changed the subject quite quickly. "So…would you like to help us out? We could use your knowledge of the galaxy…as well as your advice when we're in the field. I asked for the Phoenix to orbit the planet so we could visit you and…stuff."
"Ratchet, I'd love to help you out. Mr. Fizzwidget says that I should take some time off. And since we've saved him before, he could help us too."
Ratchet stood up, "Okay then. Let's go."
"I'll be right there," Angela stood up too. "I just need to get some things. Wait a minute." She ran to her bedroom.
"Ratchet, are you sure this is a good idea?" Clank asked.
Ratchet looked at Clank as if he was meeting him for the first time. "I KNOW it is a good idea, Clank. Why?"
"It seems troublesome to put another life in danger."
"Please, Clank. She probably won't even have to fight--"
"I'm ready!"
Everyone turned their heads to look.
Angela stood in the same clothes. He leaned against the glider she used on Planet Siberius. In her other hand was a small gun. Around her waist was a belt with many small spheres.
Ratchet corrected himself. "Then again…"
"What?" Angela grinned helplessly. "You're not the only fighter. Remember the frozen base?"
"Yeah…I remember."
"……"
"Um, let's go. There's a shuttle waiting for you at the landing pad."
Angela smirked. "Let's."
Two lombaxes and two robots walked through the snow in the centre of the crater.
Ratchet didn't have his R.I.N.O. II., on account of the Y.E.T.I.'s hibernation.
RUMMMMMBLE!
The ground shook.
"Whoah!" Ratchet fell on his rear. "What was that?"
Angela kept her footing. She looked scared. "We have to move."
Ratchet stood up. "Why?"
"NOW!"
The sudden outburst caused Ratchet to fall backwards again.
RUMMMMMMMMBLE!
"Angela, what is going on?" Clank asked.
"No time to explain! We must move!"
Ratchet stood up again.
"Flee! Run! Skater!" an old voice called.
Everyone looked.
The mystic came running over a hill. He arrived to the group, panting.
"We must leave this place now!" the calm mystic was gone.
RUMMMMMMMBLE!
"Why? What's going--?"
Ratchet's question was cut short as--
CRRRRK!
A hill of snow emerged from bellow a few yards away, blocking the mystic's circle from view.
The mystic gulped. "This is not good."
CRRRRK! CRRR-CRRKKKK! CRRKKKKK!
Four more hills rose, blocking the entire path.
CRRRRK! CRKKKKKK! CCCCCCCCCCRK! CRRRRRKKKK!.!.!.!.!
Several more hills of snow emerged, blocking all the ramps.
RUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLE!
The ground shook even more.
Angela and the mystic had horrified looks on their faces.
Clank and Lawrence were looking in all directions for a way out.
Ratchet was losing his patience. "Will somebody please tell me what's going on?.!"
"Ratchet, there's this experiment," Angela explained. "The Y.E.T.I.s you see are failed experiments. This one is an even bigger failed experiment."
"I don't see the problem," Ratchet said. "I can--"
RUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLE!
"--deal with it with my weapons."
"Weapons don't work on it!" the mystic yelled. "I'm the only one who can get rid of it. I've done it many times before."
"Well, do it!"
RUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBLE!
"I can't; it takes time."
"Then how did you manage to do it many times before?"
"I was in the protectiveness of my circle. It's filled with good chi to keep those monsters out!"
(Author's Note: In the game, that's not true)
"Then start doing what you do!"
"I shall, but when I'm concentrating, I must not be stopped. You'll have to distract that monster while I meditate."
"What monster?.!" Ratchet fumed. "I don't see any--!"
RRRUUUUMMMMMBBBLLLLLE!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
WHOOOOOOSH!
"RRRAAAAUGH!"
On the side of the crater…near the hills of snow blocking the way out, a monster emerged.
Ratchet's ears fell. "--………………….monster."
It was a giant Y.E.T.I., its legs submerged in an icy pool around its body.
Ratchet found that only he was there. Everyone else was running to the other side of the newly made battle field.
"Wait for me!" Ratchet shouted and ran quick enough to dodge an incoming blow from the ice monster's paw.
CRASH!
The paw made a crater where Ratchet was a second ago.
"RRRAAAAAAAAAAGH!" the monster growled.
Ratchet caught up with everyone on the other side.
"I am going to start," the mystic said as he sat down in a lotus possession. "Do not attempt stopping me. And keep the minions away from me, please."
Ratchet's eyes widened. "'Minions'?"
As if on cue, a heavily panting Y.E.T.I. came running.
CL-CLACK!
Ratchet equipped the R.I.N.O. II and--
BLAM!
The Y.E.T.I. fell down in a pool of its own blood.
"I thought you said they were in hibernation!"
"The mystic says that it's telepathically linked to Y.E.T.I.s and leviathans. It can control them"
"Okay, here's the plan," Ratchet said to the group. "Clank, you and I will distract that mutant freak. Angela, keep the minions away from him--" he pointed at the mystic. "Start meditating. And Lawrence…"
"…."
"…."
"…."
"…."
"………take out some popcorn."
B-BOW! Ratchet equipped his Megarocket Cannon.
Clank jumped and landed on Ratchet's back in Thruster mode.
The mystic's fingers touched as he started levitating in midair while chanting words in some other language. His eyes were closed.
Angela took to the air on her glider and readied her gun.
Lawrence ran for cover.
"RRRRRAAAAOOOR!" the ice monster roared.
FWOOOOOOSH!
Ratchet zipped forward, using his Charge Boots.
CRA-ACK!
He saw a crack coming ahead. He didn't care.
He charged over it.
FW-FW-FW-FW-FW-FWOOOOSH!
Six Y.E.T.I.s jumped out of the crack and ran towards the mystic.
Angela saw it from above. She charged her gun.
Whreeeeeeeeeee-ZAP!
SPLORCH!
A Y.E.T.I. was split in two.
Angela would have felt bad………if these creatures were natural.
Th-Thump.
Funnily enough, the two pieces of the snow beast fell opposite ways and tripped two Y.E.T.I.s.
Angela pulled out one of the metallic balls from her utility belt and threw it.
POP! FWOOOOOOOOOMB!
The ball popped, releasing a ring of fire in every direction.
"AAAAAAUGH!" the Y.E.T.I.s melted, some of them screaming.
The red wave traveled under the levitating mystic.
Angela saw more Y.E.T.I.s coming.
Whreeeeeeeeeeee-ZAP!
A head exploded.
BOOM!
A missile crashed into a Y.E.T.I., killing it instantly.
The main monster was wide open.
Ratchet grinned and equipped his Megaturret Gun.
WIIYOO!
Ratchet threw ball after ball.
Turrets emerged and started firing at the monster.
BOOOOM! BO-OOOOOOMM! BO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OOOOM!
The missiles hit their target, and soon, the turrets exploded.
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAGH!" the beast roared in pain.
It opened its mouth, charged and--
FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
Ratchet had to do ten back-flips to avoid the ice blast.
Then he heard panting.
"Ratchet! Look out!"
"I see them, Clank."
Ratchet had an idea. He equipped his HK22 Gun and fired some homing bombs at the giant freak.
They hummed, opened up and exploded on the monster's nose.
BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!
"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAARGH!" it raised a paw.
Ratchet ran to the minions.
The paw flew.
Ratchet ran up to and jumped over three Y.E.T.I.s. They dumbly looked.
SPLAT!
The giant Y.E.T.I.'s paw was stained with blood after squashing its own minions.
Ratchet equipped his Decoy Glove and threw countless amounts of balloon Ratchets. This would keep the giant freak busy for a while.
More Y.E.T.I.s were coming at the rear.
"RRAUGH!" Ratchet used his wrench and hit a Y.E.T.I. in the gut.
WHAP!
The beast teetered back. Ratchet equipped his Pyrociter and flamed incoming Y.E.T.I.s.
FWOOOOOOOOOOOB!
Ratchet smiled.
THWAP!
He was punched in the back of the head. He went forward and was heading for another Y.E.T.I.
He frowned. "Hi-YAHHH!"
SPLORCH!
The Y.E.T.I. was skewered with the wrench. It coughed up blood and fell over, dead.
Ratchet grunted, equipped his Mini-Nuke and fired blindly behind him.
BOOOOOM!
The Y.E.T.I. which had hit him before was blown to bits, along with two of its comrades.
"RARR!"
More Y.E.T.I.s.
Ratchet equipped his Sheepinator.
WHAM!
Angela plowed her glider into a Y.E.T.I.
The snow beast fell on its butt.
Whreeeeeeeeeeeee-ZAP!
Angela's laser came in contact with the heart.
The lombax smirked confidently.
THWAP!
"DAAAAAH!" Angela screamed as she fell from her glider and into the cold snow.
WHUMP!
A Y.E.T.I. had jumped and hit her in the back. Right now it roared ("RAAAWRRGH!") and threw the glider.
Stomp-Stomp-Stomp-STOMP! It ran at the fallen girl.
Angela got up and threw a sphere.
POP! FWOOOOOOOOOOOOMB!
A wave of fire incinerated the Y.E.T.I.'s legs.
Angela jumped over it and was undamaged.
She frowned and produced her gun.
Whreeeeeeeeeeee-ZAP!
SPLORCH!
The Y.E.T.I.'s head exploded.
"HELP!"
Angela looked over her shoulder and gasped.
Ten--count 'em--ten Y.E.T.I.s were closing in on Lawrence.
Angela was about to run to assist, when--
P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-POOOM!
Ten black sheep came flying. Each one hit a Y.E.T.I.
B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BOOOM!
Angela looked in the direction where the exploding sheep came from.
"……," she sweatdropped.
Ratchet was holding his Sheepinator in one hand, and a Vortex Cannon in the other.
Him and Angela looked around. There where no more Y.E.T.I.s.
BOOM!
The main monster had just destroyed the last decoy.
It noticed that there where no more minions.
So…
"RRRRAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOORRRRRGHHHHHH!.!.!.!.!"
CR-ACK! CR-CR-CRAAAACK! C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-CRRRAAACKK!
Cracks formed in the ice.
WH-WH-WH-WH-WH-WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!
Seven leviathans emerged from the cold waters below the ice, screaming their warcries.
And they all aimed at the mystic.
B-B-B-B-B-B-BLAM! Ratchet fired his R.Y.N.O. II like a madman.
A leviathan was killed instantly.
At about the same time, Angela had recovered her glider and jumped on. She headed for a leviathan.
Whreeeeeeeeee-ZAP!
The laser from her gun severed the serpent's head.
FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!.!.!.!.!
An ice blast was 'eating' the ground and heading for the mystic.
Ratchet gasped and fired his Devastator without bothering to aim. PIOOOOOM!
BOOM!
A missile exploded and frightened the leviathan, causing it to accidentally aim and freeze a comrade, which was about to freeze Angela without her knowing.
Angela used her laser and broke the 'statue' into a million peaces.
"HAA!" Ratchet used his Rynocirator.
FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
The remaining leviathans were reduced to ashes.
The mystic kept chanting.
"RRRRGHH! When's he gonna finish?.!.?.!" Ratchet yelled.
"Not anytime soon!" Angela said as she glided towards him and Clank. She noticed what the giant freak was doing. "And neither is HE!"
The monster pulled a leviathan from the ice. The then pulled out another. He forced the tail of one serpent into the other's face. The sea lizard engulfed the tail in its mouth. More leviathans were pulled out and procedure was repeated.
"RRRRAAAAAAAAOOOOR!" the behemoth swung the five-leviathan 'rope' over its head.
"You gotta be kidding me," Ratchet's shoulders dropped
FWOOOOOOSH!
The 'rope' was swung low.
Ratchet jumped over it while Angela remained hovering.
"We've got to separate them!" she said.
"On it," Ratchet ran after the 'rope'.
He equipped his Heavy Bouncer.
P-POOM! The ball landed and exploded.
BOOOOOOOM!
Several tiny balls scattered.
BOOM! B-B-B-BOOM! BOOOOOO-OOOOO-OOOM!.!.!.!.!.!
SP-SPLORCH!
A head and tail exploded. The leviathan with its bloody stub of a tail screamed in pain and got incinerated by one of Angela's weapons.
The leviathan in the middle held onto the carcass.
SHOOOOOOOM!.!.!.!
The 'whip' came down vertically.
SLAAAAAAAM!
It was a big miss.
TWP!
Ratchet's Quantum Whip wrapped around the body of the third leviathan.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzt-Zzzzzzzzz!
It was electrocuted, along with the other two leviathans and the giant Y.E.T.I.'s paw.
"AAAAAARRRRRGHH!" the behemoth dropped the carcasses.
Whreeeeeeeeeee-ZAP!
Angela zapped its chest.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH!.!.!.!.!"
WHAP!
It backhanded her.
"ALGELA!" Ratchet's eyes widened.
"Look out, Ratchet--!"
FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
Ratchet barely dodged the ice beam.
FLICK!
Ratchet went flying back several feet after being flicked by the giant Y.E.T.I.
The mystic was finally vulnerable.
Scoop.
The big freak dug its paw into the snow and…………made a giant snowball.
It aimed--
"AAAAAAGH!" it suddenly dropped the snowball and clutched its head.
Ratchet looked at the mystic, eyebrow raised.
He was still levitating, but his face was twisted in a strained expression.
"What happening?"
"I think the mystic's finished building up his chi, Ratchet."
The lombax gazed in the direction where Angela was sent flying. He got up and ran towards it.
Meanwhile, the giant Y.E.T.I. was clutching its skull, screaming in agony.
"AAAAAA-AAAAAAAGH!"
It couldn't take it anymore.
WHOOOOOSH!
It jumped up all the way. It wasn't just some giant Y.E.T.I.; it was some giant Y.E.T.I. with a leviathan's tail where the legs where thought to have been. It was like some sort of ugly mermaid.
It jumped hundreds of feet in the air, twirled its body around so it dove headfirst into the pool.
SPLOOOOOOOSH!
After it was gone, the pool closed and--
CRRRKKK!.!.!.!.!
All the hills sunk into the ground.
The mystic stopped meditating and he collapsed into the snow.
Lawrence noticed and ran up to him.
"Are you alright?"
The mystic stood up on weak legs. "Never been better." He fell forward.
Lawrence caught him.
"I'll be alright," the mystic said. "I'm always exhausted after doing this. Could you help me to my circle?"
"Of course," Lawrence said. He looked in the direction where the others where. Ratchet was helping Angela up.
The lombax looked in Lawrence's direction.
Lawrence motioned with his head that he was going to the Mystic's circle.
Ratchet nodded. He said something to Angela. She nodded and said something back. She, Ratchet and Clank started walking to the shuttle.
Several miles away…
"There we go," Agent J said as he welded the remains of the ice block he was stuck in.
His feat touched the snow.
He had a few scratches and bruises from the impromptu 'meeting'.
"Bloody Y.E.T.I.s," he grumbled as he walked through the snow. "I'll go after them once I take care of Ratchet and Clank."
BEEP-BEEP-B-BEEP!
"What now?" he pulled out a communicator from his pocket. "Agent J here."
"Did you exterminate Ratchet and Clank?"
Agent J's tone changed to polite at the sound of the Leader's emotionless voice. He gulped, "N-No."
A disappointed sigh from the other end. "It's okay. You can redeem yourself by doing me a favor."
"What is it?"
"Are you still on Planet Grelbin?"
"Yeah."
"Good. I need you to get two things and bring them to Thugs-4-Less."
"What would those two things be?"
The green shuttle left the planet's orbit.
Skidd was driving. Clank sat between him and Lawrence. Ratchet and Angela sat in the back.
"So you didn't hear anything, Skidd?" Ratchet asked, wanting to make sure.
"Nope," Skidd said. "I was busy listening to the radio. Bogon's got some killer music!"
"Didn't you hear rumbling?"
"No."
"Did you feel rumbling?"
"Nuh uh."
"How loud was the music?"
"About all the way up. Hey, now I feel like listening to something!"
Skidd reached a hand out, but pressed the wrong button by accident.
The speakers cackled and a familiar voice came out.
"Hello?"
"Hi, I'd like to order a ship."
"Can I have your name, sir?"
"Dr. Heinous."
"It would appear that we are receiving--" Clank got cut off.
"--absolutely no music!" Skidd frowned. "This station is bogus."
He changed the frequency.
Ratchet stood up from his seat. "No keep it there."
"Here, dude."
"And the weather over here is--"
"No, the other channel!"
"Whatever," Skidd changed back to the previous one.
Everyone listened.
"….."
"…."
"…"
"…"
"…."
When the transmission ended, Angela said, "Now we know where Dr. Heinous will be."
Ratchet nodded. "Take us back to the Phoenix, Skidd."
"I'm on it, dude,"
Review.