Disclaimers: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
Chapter Thirty-one: Puppets, Part 1
Heinous sat at his desk in his big room. At the moment, he was viewing a holo-vid suspended in midair. To be more specific, the News.
When the broadcast was finished, Heinous pressed a button and the holo-vid shrunk, flew and landed on his desktop.
'So, they are here,' he thought. 'I guess we'll have to take precautions.'
He pulled out his walky-talky.
"Raxamis. Come in."
"Snnnkkkkktt! Big R here. What's up?"
"It looks like we'll be going along with your idea after all."
"You mean--?"
"Yes. But we'll need more thugs. Meat me in The Big Room."
"Got it. Big R out."
Heinous took out a portable screen. He dialed a frequency and waited.
The thug Leader's plain face appeared onscreen.
"Yes, Heinous?"
"I'll be needing eleven thugs sent to my base, please."
"Henchmen?"
"Yeah…those."
"Where are you?"
"I'm still orbiting you planet."
"They'll be there shortly."
The shuttle landed in the Phoenix's hanger. All passengers disembarked.
Angela--her weapons in her utility belt--stared in amazement at the ship's interior.
"Woah… This ship is amazing. I cannot believe I'm on the Starship Phoenix."
Ratchet looked at her curiously. "You knew about it?"
"Yeah. There was a biography about the ship on the -holo-vid. I expected to come here, but I'm still awestruck."
"Yo, Ratchet," Skidd said as he marched up the two lombaxes, "Sasha wants Ally--"
"Angela."
"Whatever. Sasha wants her in the Bridge to ask you some things."
"What does he mean?" Angela asked.
"Ratchet explained to Sasha that you know Mr. Fizzwidget," Clank explained, "and he knows the Galactic President. Everyone's new to the galaxy. We sorta left in a hurry. We'll need presidential support in this situation."
"But why didn't you just go to the President straight away?" Angela inquired.
Ratchet had no idea how to answer that. Luckily, Clank did.
"Because you are our friend, no to mention you helped us before."
Angela smirked. "Wow. I'm flattered."
"Sorry to break this little chat," Lawrence interrupted, "but shouldn't we be getting to the Bridge."
"Yeah. Let's go," Ratchet said.
"I'll try and get Master Nefarious," Lawrence said and trotted off in a different direction.
"Sasha, Angela. Angela, Sasha."
Gloved hands were shook.
"Hi. Welcome to the Phoenix."
"Hi. Thanks for having me here."
A smirking Qwark, a web-surfing Skidd, a silent Al, a quiet Lawrence, an observing Clank, a sweating Ratchet, a sleeping Skrunch, a greeting Sasha, a welcomed Angela, a……something Helga, an abnormal slim, and a pissed off Nefarious where gathered in the Phoenix's Bridge.
The hand-shaking stopped.
'Phew,' Ratchet thought. 'Everything's going great.'
"Ratchet told me that you're able to help us in our search for Dr. Heinous."
"Yes. And we don't even need to waste time with theories, because we already know where he'll be going."
Sasha's eyebrows raided. "Really? How?"
"On the way back, Skidd intercepted a transmission Heinous was making," Ratchet said. "He was ordering a ship that could help him mine for raritanium."
"Why does Jeremy need raritanium?" Nefarious asked.
"For that, we don't know. But it must have something to do with the deplanetizer. Anyway, Heinous also asked where he could find raritanium. The guy he was calling made several suggestions. Heinous chose one of them randomly."
"Which one?"
"Heinous will be going to extract raritainium from Planet Tabora. It's a planet completely covered in desert. There's still life on that planet though. Heinous will be there."
"Do you know exactly where he'll be?" Slim asked.
"Err……."
"Twenty miles South of the mining area," Clank said.
"Okay then," Sasha said. "Might not need any help. But, Angela, stay with us just incase."
"Even if I don't provide help, I'd still like to be a part of it," Angela responded.
"Now if you'll excuse me," Qwark stood up from his seat, "I'll be drawing a plan for attack."
Ratchet groaned.
"And I'll be playing again. Call me when we're there," Nefarious said as he was leaving.
"Are the thugs ready, Albert?" Heinous asked. Him and Sandy stood outside the ship.
"They are, sir," Albert responded.
"Okay," Heinous said as he turned to face the last thug and Sandy, "I have an important mission for you two."
The purple henchman listened.
"I'll be needing you to drive Sandy to the Phoenix. Now, the Phoenix has sensors and radars and stuff, so you'll have to do the following."
"I'm listening," the thug said as he polished his gun with a cloth.
"When I give you the 'okay', you'll take a ship and travel to the Phoenix. When you're close enough, launch Sandy to the ship. Wait till she calls via small alarm signal. Travel to the Phoenix, pick her up and return here."
"She'll be doing something in the Phoenix?"
"Yes."
"What about the ship's defenses?"
"No need to worry about them."
The thug frowned. "Is this ALL I have ta do?" he asked bitterly.
"Yes."
"What will the other thugs be doin'?"
"Guarding the ship."
"Why can't I go with them?"
"Trust me. You'll prefer the job I already gave you."
"Why can't the other robots do it?"
"Cuz they'll be watching the carnage with me."
"Man, this sucks!"
"Hey, do you want your pay or not?" Heinous smirked nastily.
"………..Fine, but you better not be screwing with me or I'll--"
"You'll what?" Heinous held a green energy ball at the ready.
The thug silently walked away.
The green ball disappeared in Heinous' hand. The scientist smirked. "That's what I thought."
A badly drawn cartoon picture in crayon-style.
(First, we will split up into two teams)
The picture was divided into two. On the left side, there was Ratchet, Clank and Nefarious, with a blue background. On the right side, there was Qwark, Slim and Skrunch, with a green background.
(Ratchet, Clank and Dr. Nefarious will take a dropship--)
(My head isn't that big, Qwark!)
(As I was saying, Ratchet, Clank and Nefarious will take a ranger dropship and land two miles West of the ship which is digging for raritanium)
The picture changed to one of Ratchet, Clank and Nefarious waving from the windows of a ranger dropship flying in the sky……………chibi style.
(The will land there and walk the rest of the way)
A second picture, featuring a side-view of Nefarious walking ahead, slouching…Clank walking behind Nefarious doing nothing special…….and Ratchet at the rear, eyes wide as he's looking at a skull in the sand.
(This so, because of the ship's defenses)
A crayon image of a big ship with an over-exaggerated amount of missile on the roof.
(The bottom part is defenseless. That's where we'll infiltrate using Swingshots and welding gadgets)
A drawn picture on lined paper with the bottom of the ship empty, being emphasized by straight lines.
(Meanwhile, Jack, Skrunch and I will land two miles EAST of the ship)
Another chibi style image. Skrunch and Slim waving from the inside of Qwark's shuttle while Qwark is driving with a determined cartoon look on his face.
(We will also have to walk it there)
Leaving out the fact that the images weren't coloured in the lines, Qwark is walking ahead of the group, his chest out and his chin squared………Skrunch walks on his fists and feet behind…………Slim takes the rear.
(It doesn't matter who gets there first. All that matters is that we follow the maps I'll be giving you, get to the control room and shut that ship down)
An old shopping list. The words 'Milk', 'Butter', Eggs', 'Bread', and 'Cereal' had been scribbled on in pencil.
The picture in all this was of a control room with a big, red 'X' covering it.
(Once that's one, someone on the Phoenix will call for that ship to be taken away. Meanwhile, I'll call my shuttle with my special…………..shuttle-caller)
A picture of Qwark holding a remote.
(The shuttle will come, and my team will return to the Phoenix)
A picture of Qwark's shuttle flying through space.
(Mission accomplished!)
Qwark smiled as the slideshow ended. "Any questions?"
Nefarious raised a hand.
"Yes, you there on the right," Qwark said unenthusiastically.
"I was wondering……WHAT ABOUT US?.!"
"Call the ranger and he'll pick you up."
Nefarious raised an eyebrow. "What ranger?"
"The one in the dropship. He'll be driving you there."
"Oh."
"Any more questions?"
Ratchet raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"Why can't I just skydive and get the job done quicker?"
"Because there are too many missiles. Anymore questions?"
"…."
"…."
"…."
"…."
"…."
"…"
"…."
"….."
"…."
"…."
"…"
"……"
"Okay then. Let's move! Come, Skrunch, Jack. We have a mission to complete!"
When Qwark wasn't there anymore, Angela asked Ratchet, "Is he always like that."
"I've had worse times when he sent only Clank and I to do the mission while everyone else observes."
"The reminds me of--"
"Hey, squishies!"
Ratchet and Angela looked over.
Nefarious was in the middle of walking up the ramp. "Stop flirting and get your ass moving. I wanna get to Jeremy before Lack does."
Ratchet rolled his eyes. "See you later, Angela."
"Good luck, Ratchet."
Ratchet walked up the ramp. "Later, Sasha, Al, Skidd, Lawrence………Helga."
Nefarious tapped his foot impatiently.
"What's taking so damn long?.!" he barked at the ranger pilot.
"Take it easy, Nefarious," Ratchet said from the bench. "The ship will go as fast as it can."
"We're already flying above the planet's surface," Clank added. "Give it ten minutes."
"I don't have ten minutes!" Nefarious grabbed the ranger's shoulder and threw him over his head.
"AAAAAGH--!"
WHUMP!
The ranger landed on Ratchet.
"I'm piloting us there!" Nefarious said as he took hold of the controls.
"Don't!" Ratchet squeezed from under the ranger and tried to pry Nefarious from the controls.
"Let go of the controls, Nefarious!"
"Get away from me, squishy!.!.!.!"
"Just sit down and let the ranger do it."
"Yeah, let me do it."
"Who asked you, squishy-lover?.!.?.!.?.!.?.!"
"Give me the controls, Nefarious!"
"NO!"
"Give them to me!.!"
"NEVER!"
"Let go of me!"
"Ratchet…"
"What, Clank?"
"We're about to crash."
Ratchet and Nefarious both looked at the screen.
"………."
"………."
Their eyes widened.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!.!.!.!.!.!"
CRASH!
Two miles East of the ship, a green shuttle landed.
Out from a ramp in the back, Qwark walked out like a poser. Unlike the plan, Skrunch stood on Qwark's left shoulder. Slim followed, equipping a Plasma Storm.
"What's that for?" Qwark asked.
"This desert's infested with mutant sandflyies, desert dune monsters and spotting dune crawlers," Slim said. "I just wanna be prepared."
Qwark seemed uneasy.
"Um… Say, Jack. Why don't you go ahead when Skrunch and I guard the shuttle?"
"Why don't you get you head outta your ass and get your ass moving after getting your head out of it?"
"…………………………………………………………………What?"
"Get moving, Qwark! I got a score to settle!"
"Fine."
The costumed man, the monkey and the tyhrranoid headed for the ship.
Ratchet crawled out of the debris, coughing. He was pulling out the ranger with him.
He stopped a few feet away and gazed at the ship. It was in ruins. Pieces were scattered everywhere.
"Clank! Nefarious!" Ratchet called.
"What do you want?.! Can't you see I'm in the middle of prying my foot out?.!"
Ratchet looked and saw Nefarious attempting to pull his leg out from under a big piece of the ship.
"Have you seen Clank?"
"Don't know; don't care."
"I am right here, Ratchet."
Ratchet looked.
Clank was trotting toward him, undamaged.
"Clank? How'd you escape?" Ratchet asked.
"I took refuge under a bench," the robot answered.
"……….Oh."
"Our ship is destroyed. We'll need to continue the mission of foot."
Ratchet thought for a moment. "Clank, where are we?"
"Near the mines. Why do you ask?"
"Just follow me. Trooper, are you alright?"
"Not to worry, Sarge," the ranger said as he stood up. "I'm fine."
"Nefarious," Ratchet called, "follow us."
TWOP!
Nefarious pried his leg free.
"Coming!" the robot said as he ran towards the group.
The other three stood atop a hill. From there, they could see the ship.
It looked more or less like a ranger dropship, but much bigger. Long, robotic arms which ended in drills dug through the hot sand and clawed arms picked them up and put them in a single hole a somewhere on the top.
"Let's move," Qwark said.
"Wow, you're not chicken after all," Slim remarked.
Qwark looked at Slim. "Say, can I borrow some of your weapons?"
Slim looked at Qwark with one eye while the other two scanned the area. "Why?
"Because I'm unarmed…and--you never know--Heinous could have guards."
"Fine, but only three." Slim went through his Storage Watch.
"Fine by me."
He pulled out an N90 Hurricane, a Bomb Glove and a Blitz Cannon. He threw them to Qwark.
Qwark caught them awkwardly. "Got a Storage Watch?"
A Storage Watch landed on Qwark's head.
"Thanks."
"This vessel is indeed broken," the Mystic said.
"No shit," Nefarious folded his arms impatiently.
"I'll need twenty crystals if you want me to fix it."
"You'll need what?" Nefarious bellowed.
"Crystals, Nefarious," Ratchet said. "They're found in the desert."
"And you we need twenty?"
"Mmhmm."
"Screw that! I'm flying it there myself!"
"Nefarious, hold on--"
WHOOOOOSH!
Nefarious took to the air and hovered away. He soon turned into a little dot and was gone.
Ratchet sweatdropped. He looked at the Mystic. "Um, I'll be getting you those crystals."
As if he read Ratchet's mind, Clank jumped on Ratchet's back.
FWOOOOOOOOOSH!
They blured away via Charge Boots.
"Hmmmm," Qwark inspected a communicator. "I'm not getting a signal.
"Ooh ooh ooh aaaak!" Skrunch said.
"Probably," Qwark responded. He looked up. "How's it going, Jack?"
During all this, Slim was upside-down--courtesy of the Magneboots--using a welder to make a hole on the ship's 'belly'.
He looked 'up' and slid his protective mask off. "Almost done!"
"Okay!" Qwark replied from five storied bellow. He looked at Skrunch. The monkey was busy scratching itself.
"………"
A minute passed.
"….."
Skrunch was still scratching
"Done!"
"?" Qwark looked up.
Slim threw a metal square a few feet away. It landed in the sand as expected.
Slim the hole was behind Slim's 'standing' figure. He arched his back until his head found the floor of a hallway. His hands grabbed the edge of the hole. He clicked his heels together and the Magneboots deactivated. He pulled himself up and stood in the hallway.
He bent down and shouted in the hole. He gave a pure white thumb's up.
From below, Qwark also gave a thumb's up. He equipped a Swingshot which Slim gave him after reaching the ship's underside, and fired it.
POW-CLANK!
He managed to fire it through the hole and hit the ceiling.
Plant.
Skrunch jumped and landed on his left shoulder.
WHOOOOOOOSH!
The man in green and the monkey shot upward as the cord contracted.
………
Qwark and Skrunch hung from the ceiling. The superhero swung and landed next to Slim.
"Okay, we'll split up," Qwark said. "You'll find the control room while Skrunch and I'll search for Heinous."
Slim frowned. "No deal, Qwark. I wanna get Heinous!"
"It was my plan, so we'll do things my way!"
"How about I shove my Mini-Nuke up your ass and pull the trigger?.!"
"How about this," Qwark had an idea to solve the argument. "Whoever gets to where he wants to go first, gets to do their thing. But whoever finds the control room has to disable the ship no matter what."
"Got it," Slim snatched his Swingshot out of Qwark's hand and ran down a hall.
"I'm gonna get to Heinous first," Qwark said to Skrunch. "I beat his stepbrother, so it's only fair if I beat him, right?"
Skrunch shrugged.
"Hop on."
Skrunch jumped and landed on Qwark's left shoulder again.
Qwark equipped his borrowed N90 Hurricane and ran the opposite way Slim ran.
Nefarious hovered across the desert. He ignored any creature which would come out of the sand and attempt attacking him.
He headed South.
"I'm coming for you, Jeremy. I'm coming for you."
Qwark walked down a hallway silently. The single door to the right at the end off the hall had a flickering light coming from inside.
"That's where Heinous could be," Qwark said.
Skrunch nodded.
Qwark took a few more steps.
He sweated.
Skrunch breathed out his mouth.
Qwark did the same.
Skrunch bit his nails.
Qwark bit his lip.
"……….."
"…….."
Qwark replaced the N90 Hurricane with the Blitz Cannon.
The door was a few feet away.
Qwark gripped the doorframe. And looked in.
"……."
His whole body looked in.
"Just a teleport pad," he said.
THWAP! Someone pushed him from behind.
"!.!.!.!" Qwark gasped as he and Skrunch fell on the pad and--
FLASH!
FLASH!
--ended up in another room.
WHUMP!
Qwark and Skrunch landed in the centre of the room.
Qwark shot up like a bullet. "Wait till I get my hands on the guy--" he noticed the room he was in "--pushed………me………"
Qwark and Skrunch were in a pink circular room. Screens with a deceased pop star's picture floated around to outside of the………….arena? Caged hovered out of reach.
"This looks like the room where Courtney Gears films all he music videos," Qwark uttered as he was mesmerized.
Skrunch stared also, a drop of saliva handing from his bottom lip.
"Although it looks like it, it's only a remake. You like?"
Qwark jumped as a familiar voice came out of the speakers.
"Heinous?" Qwark looked left and right. "Where are you?"
"Definitely not on the ship. Do you think I'd be dumb enough to stay here like a sitting duck? Not all of us are stupid, Qwark."
"Is this the place where Courtney Gears films her music videos?"
"Sadly, no. It's only a remake. In reality, you're on a small space station orbiting Planet Tabora."
"Are you the one who pushed me?.!"
"What's wrong, Qwark? After pushing so many people around, you don't think it's time you were……pushed around?"
"Answer me, you robot freak."
"Temper temper, Qwark. If you must know, a thug pushed you."
"A thug?"
"Yup. I've hired Thugs-4-Less encase you and the other losers try to stop my plans."
"What are you planning?"
"I'm not telling you shit, Qwark. Even though you're gonna die in a few moments."
"Show yourself so I can kick your ass."
"As much as I'd like to fight you and win, I'm not gonna do it."
"Why?"
"I have someone else here who'll do it."
"Who? Thugs?"
"Yes, but I wasn't referring to them."
"Then who were you referring to?"
"You'll se in a few seconds. Teleport her to the ship, Albert."
"Teleporting, sir."
FLASH!
Another flash of light happened. Someone else was in the room.
Qwark and Skrunch averted their eyes from the huge amount of light stabbing at them.
When they were sure that it was safe to look, they looked.
They gasped in unison.
Courtney Gears leaned sexily in one leg on the other side of the arena. She was the same as usual; silver skin, red headband, skimpy, tight, red tube-top, dark gold hair, red tube-skirt, long, red platform boots……… Blue antenna? Solid blue eyes?
Qwark noticed the sudden change. "What's with the antenna and eyes?"
"Ah yes, the most interesting part. Rumor had it that she went missing. In reality, she was 'killed' by Ratchet on the Obani Draco. I found her there and brought her to my base. Later, Raxamis and I 'resurrected' her. She was keen on joining us in our quest to destroy all squishies. However, she was rebellious when I mentioned Vince. She said she'd never fight against him. Then she called him her………um, 'snookywookems', I think it was. I don't suppose you know what it means, Qwark?"
"…………No."
"What about the monkey?"
"…………"
"Didn't think so. So I had to get……persuasive on her. I--"
"You raped her?.!"
"…No, I didn't rape her, you moron. Are you familiar with mind control?"
"You use mind control!"
"Wow, he's not so stupid after all, isn't he"
"You did, didn't you?"
"Yup. That antenna you see on her headband is what's controlling her. The blue eyes are just some affects it makes. I would have made them orange, but I didn't know how. Anyways, she's my slave."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That sounded so dirty, Uncle!"
"Oh, be quiet, Raxamis."
Qwark sweatdropped.
"Ahem. Now, Courtney……ATTACK!"
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOSH!
Courtney rose one leg up by exactly ninety degrees and balanced on the other one so she could spin in several circles.
Qwark gasped and ran on the outside of the arena. Skrunch held on for dear life. Courtney's foot was tearing at his rear.
The pop star finally came to a stop, did a back-flip, landed on the other side of the circle and fired pink projectiles.
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
Qwark side-stepped three, ducked one, and jumped over the other two.
He landed on his feet and panted.
"Aak aak!" Skrunch said.
"You're right," Qwark said. "We need to get that antenna off her--AAAGH!"
SWISH! SWISH! SWISH! SWISH! SWISH! SWISH!
Spinning pink shots came flying at him.
Skrunch's hands dug into Qwark's suit.
The superhero dodged them all, except for one.
"YAWCH!.!.!.!" Qwark rubbed his butt.
"Sit this one out, Courtney!" Heinous boomed over the speakers.
Courtney dematerialized.
"?" Qwark and Skrunch looked around.
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
Four thug henchmen appeared in a blinding flash of light. Like Courtney, they had antennas and solid blue eyes.
"You mind-controlled the thugs too?.!" Qwark yelled.
"Yeah. Destroy him!"
The purple lizards pulled out guns and fired electricity.
ZAP! Z-ZAP! ZAP!
Qwark barely dodged them.
He growled and ran forward.
Instead of equipping a weapon and killing innocent thugs, Qwark decided to use his fists and feet.
WHAM!
Qwark uppercut one thug with a green fist.
The henchman teetered back.
The others fired.
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
Qwark jumped over the shots and landed a fist into the nearest thug.
POW!
WHUMP!
The thug fell into a comrade. Both fell down without a hint of pain.
"Did I forget to mention the mind-control devices also have painkillers?"
THWACK!
A thug hit Qwark in the right shoulder with the butt of his gun.
ZAP!
The first thug Qwark punched fired.
Qwark jumped over it.
ZAAAAAAAAAP!
The grounded thugs which were recovering got zapped. Their unconscious bodies fell down, smoking.
FLASH! FLASH!
They were teleported out.
CLUTH!
Qwark grabbed the thug who hit him's face.
The lizard-man struggled in his grip. He aimed his gun at Qwark's head.
ZAP!
Qwark gasped and dodged to the right.
"AAAAAK!" Skrunch ducked, resulting in the fur on his back getting singed.
The other advancing thug also ducked.
Qwark spun around, bringing the thug with him and threw him into the other.
WH-WHUMP!
They went flying back and--
FLASH! FLASH!
--were teleported out.
"Stupid thugs! Albert, send in one."
"And make sure he do what I told them to, okay, Jeeves?"
"Fine."
F-FLASH!
An unarmed thug appeared in the centre of the circle.
Qwark stood at the ready.
CLAP!
The thug clapped his hands together.
Qwark's muscles tensed.
Shift.
One of the hands shifted, facing down while the other faced up. The palms remained connected.
Qwark's muscles relaxed.
The mind-controlled thug stood on one leg.
Qwark sweatdropped. "Oh Hell no."
The leg rose by ninety degrees.
"Please no."
The lizard-man faced upwards.
"This isn't happening."
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOSH!
The thug started spinning towards Qwark.
"Oh boy," Qwark ran for it.
As expected the thug stopped spinning. He jumped to some other part of the arena and spun again.
Qwark grunted, lunged forward and--WHAM!--stopped the thug by punching him in the chest.
The thug stumbled back and fell to the floor, coughing.
FLASH!
He was teleported out.
Qwark smirked. "NEXT!"
Skrunch also smirked.
"What the? I thought they were good thugs! Dammit! Send all the rest in!"
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
Five more thugs appeared.
Qwark clenched his fists. "Bring 'em on!"
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOSH!
They came spinning from all angles.
Qwark's antenna dropped.
SCREEEEECH-SMACK!
One thug stopped behind him and smacked him upside the head.
Qwark stumbled forward and grabbed another thug for support.
Skrunch flew forward with the momentum, clutching onto Qwark's suit for dear life. He came flying back--
WHAP!
His feet hit a thug in the face.
Using the thug he grabbed, Qwark flung him into the thug which Skrunch hit.
WH-WHUMP!
They both fell back into another thug they all fell back and were teleported out.
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
"Who keeps doing that?……… Albert?"
"I'm concerned for their safety."
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOSH!
The last two thugs came at Qwark's left and right.
All Qwark had to do was take a step back for them to crash into each other.
WHUMP!.!
FLASH! FLASH!
"DAMMIT!.!.!.!.! Use the robots!"
"Yes," Qwark said. "Gimme a reason to use my weapons."
"Aak hoo hoo 'oooh aak'?"
Qwark frowned. "Jack's weapons. Sorry."
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
Five ninjas were teleported into the arena, armed with double-bladed laser swords and ninja stars.
Qwark equipped a Bomb Glove and tossed an explosive sphere.
All the ninjas jumped/hopped/flipped/crawled/cart-wheeled out of the way.
BOOM!
The bomb exploded, claiming no victims.
Two ninjas threw their stars.
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWISH!
Qwark ducked.
VIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUM!
A ninja ran at Qwark, swinging his laser sword.
Qwark caught the laser sword's hilt. The ninja tried pulling away.
Another ninja came--
CLUTH!
Qwark caught the hilt.
Both ninjas pulled to get their weapons back.
Qwark's vision shifted from ninja to ninja. He then realized that Skrunch was no longer on his shoulder.
Another ninja aimed a star at Qwark's head.
The ninja aimed--
BLAM!
--and was blown to bits.
Qwark and the ninjas blinked.
Skrunch stood behind the smoldering pile of ninja remains……….holding a Blitz Cannon. The weapon barely fit in his little arms.
A ninja ran at him, swinging its laser sword.
Skrunch hugged the Blitz Cannon's butt to his chest, his hands pulling the trigger.
The ninja leapt and--
BLAM!
--was destroyed.
Qwark used this distraction to his advantage. He tensed his biceps and slammed the two ninjas he was still struggling with.
CRUNCH!
They crumbled.
There was only one ninja left.
Qwark equipped an N90 Hurricane.
Skrunch strained to aim the large weapon at the ninja.
The ninja raised its laser sword over its head.
Qwark narrowed his eyes.
"………"
Skrunch prepared to hug the Blitz Cannon.
The ninja's head shifted from Qwark to Skrunch.
"Aw someone do something already!"
"Quiet, Raxamis."
"But it's borrrrrrrrrrrrrring."
"Just be patient."
"….," the ninja's eye/s glowed.
SWOOOOSH!
The ninja leapt forward.
BLAM!
Skrunch fired.
The ninja jumped over the blast, landed behind the monkey and swung a leg around.
WHAP!
Skrunch was hit hard and sent flying.
Qwark fired.
RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!.!.!.!.!
The ninja managed to dodge every blast with a series of flips.
It landed right next to the superhero.
Qwark equipped the Bomb Glove and prepared to throw--
GRIP!
The ninja had Qwark's wrist and squeezed.
CR-CRACK!
Qwark gritted his teeth as his right wrist was broken.
CLUTCH!
Qwark grabbed the laser sword's hilt.
Him and the ninja stared at each other face-to-face. That was until Qwark--
BUMP!
--head-butted the robot.
The ninja flew back some, but managed to land on its feet.
Qwark readied his double-bladed laser sword.
The ninja readied its Bomb Glove.
A beat.
"……..?" "……..?"
They both looked at their weapons and realized that they were the wrong ones.
"Hey!" Qwark pointed with the sword. "Give me my Bomb Glove back!"
"Oooh!" Skrunch cackled as he walked to Qwark, dragging the Blitz Cannon behind him.
"Jack's Bomb Glove!"
The ninja pointed at the double-bladed laser sword and then at itself.
"Okay, at the count of three, we'll throw them across at the same time," Qwark suggested.
Skrunch did a double-take.
"One…two….three!"
Qwark tossed the sword.
The ninja tossed the Bomb Glove.
They both caught them.
Skrunch took the Bomb Glove out of Qwark's hand and threw something, saying, "Hoo hoo akk."
"What do you mean he can keep it?"
The ninja caught the Glove.
A beat,
It realized that it was holding a bomb.
The ninja prepared to throw, but--
BOOM!
--it was too late.
"That was just--sssksnntttkk--ing stupid."
"Hey, you're the one sending in stupid robots!" Qwark said, clutching his broken wrist.
"Courtney, you're up."
FLASH!
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOSH!
A spinning Courtney came at Qwark.
Qwark picked Skrunch and the other weapons and ran for it.
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOSH!
This time, Courtney didn't stop.
"Skrunch…," Qwark panted, "…put the weapons in the Watch.
Skrunch did so; every weapon was back in the Watch.
SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SW-SWOOSH!
Courtney didn't stop spinning.
"We need to get at that antenna!"
Courtney finally stopped. The robot back-flipped to the edge of the arena and sent a wave of plasma.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUM!.!.!.!.!.!.!
Qwark jumped and the wave missed.
"This is it Skrunch…"
SWISH! SWISH! SWISH! SWISH! SWISH!
Qwark ducked as the spinning pink projectiles flew.
"………get that antenna."
Skrunch nodded.
Qwark grabbed him with his one good arm and threw the monkey.
Skrunch flew at Courtney and landed on her head. With two primate hands, Skrunch pulled to get the antenna off.
"Don't let him do that, Courtney!"
The pop star grabbed Skrunch's tail and tried to pull the monkey off.
Qwark ran to help.
FLASH!
Courtney threw a pink wave at him.
"OOF!" Qwark was hit and sent back.
TWOP!
Skrunch managed to pull the antenna off.
Courtney froze. Her eyes changed from blue to golden.
And…
…she fell.
And the music stopped.
Qwark ran towards her and scooped her up in his left arm.
"What happened to her?"
"Since the monkey pulled the antenna off, Courtney was free from the hypnotic trance. However, and after effect is severe exhaustion for both squishies AND robots."
"So, she'll be alright?" Qwark looked up at nothing.
"Yeah, but this entire place is set to go off in a few seconds."
Qwark and Skrunch both gasped.
"You may have beat Courtney, but this place is going to beat you, Qwark. My ship will collect all the raritanium and I'll be home free."
"Uh oh."
"So long, ya loser. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH--"
FLASH!
A teleport pad appeared in the center of the arena.
"Huh?"
Qwark and Skrunch blinked.
"Raxamis, what did you do?.!"
"Switch on the teleport pad."
"Why?"
"That's how it goes in boss-fights."
Skrunch sweatdropped.
There was a sound of hitting from the speakers.
"This--
WHAP!
--is--
WHAP!
--not--
WHAP!
--A BOSS-FIGHT!"
Skrunch tugged on Qwark's sleeve. Qwark looked. Skrunch pointed at the teleport pad.
Qwark nodded, picked Courtney up and hobbled towards the flat, green circle.
FLASH!
Skrunch jumped in and disappeared.
FLASH!
Qwark and Courtney jumped in after.
FLASH!
They were back in the small hallway.
Qwark panted. "Whew, glad to….be off that place."
Skrunch pointed at Courtney.
"Perhaps, Al can fix her--HEY!--Maybe she can join us!"
Skrunch leaned his head to the side.
"I'm serious! With her fighting moves, she could help us beat Heinous. She already hates him. She could also convince Nefarious to change his mind," Qwark winked.
"They you are!"
Qwark and Skrunch looked.
Slim was running towards them. "I've been trying to contact you--whoa!" his eyes widened as he noticed Courtney. "Is that--?"
"Yes, it's Courtney Gears," Qwark interrupted the tyhrranoid. "I'll explain later."
"Man this is too freaky," Slim said.
"You're telling me. Say, got any Nanotech on you? I broke my wrist."
"Sure," Slim reached into his Storage Watch and pulled out a Nanopack. He tossed it to Qwark.
He caught it, held it over his broken wrist and opened it with his teeth. He relaxed as his wrist was healed.
"I found the control room," Slim said. "It's set to go off in ten minutes. So far, five minutes have passed."
"My plan wasn't to blow it up! My plan was to--"
"Yeah, I know. Look, do you wanna stop Heinous, or not?"
"Let's just get out of here."
"I'm way ahead of you. Follow me."
Slim ran down at hall. Skrunch jumped on Qwark's shoulder. Qwark--now holding Courtney with both arms--ran after Slim.
"There, it's fixed," the Mystic said as the dropship touched the sand after spinning in the air while being fixed.
"Thank you again, sir," Clank said.
"I wonder," Ratchet said. "How'd you get here so fast?"
The Mystic leaned his old head to the side.
"We just me you on Grelbin about three hours ago. We left there and came straight here. How'd you do it?"
"Not 'how'; why?" the old man suddenly said.
"Huh?"
"Why am I here? Why are any of us here?" the mystic held his arms up. "The only reason for us to be here is to repro--"
"Okay," Ratchet cut him off, "I get it. Thanks for the fix. We'll be on our way."
The lombax ran into the dropship, which had opened. The ranger saluted the mystic and marched in. Clank nodded and walked in. A second later, the dropship rose and headed South.
The mystic shock his head. "So impulsive."
PLANT!
Slim landed in the hot sand. In front of him stood Qwark, carrying Ms. Gears, and Skrunch.
"We're still under the ship!" Slim yelled. "We have to get some distance!"
Qwark nodded and started running. Skrunch--not on his shoulder--followed on all fours. Slim took the rear.
"How long for the ship to blow?" Qwark asked while running.
Slim looked at his watch. "About five seconds."
"Nice."
Nefarious' feet touched the sand. He could see the ship. He smirked.
"HAHA, Jeremy! I'm gonna kick you're--!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!
The ship exploded.
Nefarious stared, frozen stiff, his hands still in the air.
"…………"
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!.!.!.!.!.!.!
A wave of sand came at him. Nefarious didn't even close his widened eyes.
"………"
Smoke rose from the remains of the ship. Desert animals crawled out of the sand and ran every which way.
"…….," Nefarious lowered his arms. They dangled by his side. He frowned. "Jeremy had better not be in that ship."
He spotted three figured running from the falling debris.
Nefarious raised an eyebrow, jumped in the air and flew towards them.
The ranger piloted the dropship at respectable speed.
Ratchet and Clank silently sat on a bench.
"Sarge," the ranger said, "there's something you should see."
Ratchet stood up and walked to the ranger's side. "What is it?"
"There appears to be smoke coming from the ship's location," the ranger explained.
"'Smoke'? Qwark's team must have gotten there first," Ratchet seemed disappointed. "Take us there so we can regroup."
"Yes, sir!"
"Well, I've called the shuttle!" Qwark said. "Mission accomplished."
"Where do you think Ratchet, Clank and Nefarious are?" Slim asked.
"Feh, probably fell behind because they don't have a cool shuttle like mine."
Slim rolled his three eyes. "Can I have my Storage Watch back?"
Qwark looked at Slim in disbelief. "What?.! This thing helped saved me when I was trying to get Courtney back!"
Slim looked at Courtney with one eye. At the moment, she lay on her back. Skrunch stood near her, staring to see if she awoke.
"About that," Slim said, "care to explain?"
"Skrunch and I were teleported--" Qwark was cut off.
"There you squishies are!" Nefarious pointed as he walked up the hill of sand. "Don't tell me Jeremy was on that ship!"
"No, Nefarious," Qwark said, "he said he wasn't on the ship."
"You talked to him?.?.!"
"Yeah. When I asked, he didn't tell me what he was planning…just that he needed raritanium for something."
"What for?"
"He didn't tell me that. Instead, he sicked thugs and robots on me and Skrunch."
"How'd you escape?"
"A teleport-pad came right after……right after…" Qwark's voice lingered.
Nefarious raised an eyebrow. "Right after what?"
"Right after we freed Courtney from Heinous' control," Qwark pointed at the robot's 'sleeping' figure.
Nefarious' eyes widened. "COURTNEY?.!"
He rushed over and crouched beside her. "What happened to her?"
"Dr. Heinous had her under the control of some device," Qwark said. "He found her at the Obani Draco. She attacked Skrunch and I. She was being controlled against her will by Heinous. He said that she didn't want to join him and be against you…so he put an antenna on her head. This antenna controlled her. Skrunch and I managed to remove it, but then Courtney collapsed. Heinous said that the mind-control device leaves its victims exhausted when it's removed. She'll be fine."
"…..." Nefarious was silent. He heard every word.
"I even had this crazy idea to ask her to join us," Qwark smiled weakly.
Nefarious stood up and sauntered to Qwark. The scientist towered over the superhero.
Qwark gulped.
"Jeremy did this," Nefarious said. "Ratchet may have put her out of commission, but her being controlled by my stepbrother is a fate worse than death. Al will fix her, I'll talk to her, and she'll join us. Got it?"
Qwark was about to respond--
"Look!" Slim pointed.
Everyone looked.
The ranger dropship landed, opened and Ratchet, Clank and a ranger stepped out.
"What took you so long?" Slim asked with a smirk.
"Nefarious crashed the ship," Ratchet glared at the robot. The robot glared back. "We had to fix it while he went ahead. Sorry we're late, what did we miss?"
"Qwark here found Courtney Gears," Slim said.
Ratchet did a double-take. "What?"
"It's true, Ratchet. Qwark and his monkey found, fought and rescued Courtney from Heinous."
"How? Where?"
"We'll talk about this later," Nefarious said, carrying the lifeless pop star in his arms. "Right now, let's get Courtney back to the bigass ship so Al can fix her." He walked into the dropship without another word.
"Damn, this is all going to fast," Ratchet muttered as he headed inside the dropship.
At about that time, a familiar, green shuttle landed behind Qwark.
The superhero turned around and opened the backdoor via remote control. "Well, here's our ride." Him and Skrunch walked in.
Clank and the ranger headed inside the dropship. The vessel hovered up and flew high.
Slim was on his own. The shuttle was waiting for him.
The tyhrranoid started walking towards it. "Man, can this day get any weirder?"
In deep space, a small ship traveled the unforgivable vacuum. It was piloted by a thug. Sandy rested behind him, exhausted from her unknown mission.
The thug pressed a button on the ship's small console. A hand-sized screen came out of the wall to his right. On it was Heinous' face.
"Did you do as I asked?" the image asked.
"Yes, Dr. Heinous," the henchman said, "everything went as you said."
"Excellent," the image grinned.
"Could you please tell me what it was about?"
"Come here and watch the show."
"I'll take about ten minutes."
"You might miss the beginning, but there's nothing to understand."
"Whatever."
The small ship neared the big, orange cube.
The next chapter will take a while to update. I'm not sure, but something's wrong with my computer. That AND school will be starting soon.
I know. The fight in this chapter wasn't very good. I'll do better. I promise.
Review please.