Death Bed

I can't believe this is the end. Throughout all this time, I thought that, surely, the gods would take pity on me and would finally leave me in peace. I have suffered through every life I have lived, no matter what the time or place, I couldn't seem to come into a life that did not completely center on pain.

When I saw Ryou was my host, my new hikari, I assumed that I would have no worries anymore. He looked so innocent and devoid of any kind of pain. He always had a cheerful smile on his face, and since I didn't try to look past it, I couldn't see how absolutely fake that look really was.

Inside, he hurt. His heart ached for the love his father never gave him, for the love his mother had left him with as but a memory, and the love friends had never given him. And for that, I thought him week. I felt spiteful towards him- what did he know of pain? He hadn't gone through all that I had: I saw my family and friends slaughtered before me, and I could do nothing about it!

So I hated him, I hated him for something that others had done to him, and so I made him hurt more. I hurt him. And, in doing so, I hurt myself.

I'm not sure when it was that I realized I loved him- but, I believe, it was when I found him all alone, crying in his soul room.

Now, unlike what you would think, Ryou's soul room is all but bare. I guess I should have expected it, after all, people felt nothing towards him, so why should I have expected him to feel something for them? But it still shocked me.

I remember it so vividly… he laid there; sprawled across his plain white bed, wearing a short, baggy, and white t-shirt that looked like it might have been his father's. His eyes looked up at the stone ceiling, his brown eyes hazy and unfocused, spilling out tears that he didn't even seem to notice.

The scene wrenched at my heart, and it screamed at my violently to go over there and comfort my poor hikari, but my mind argued back viciously that that would make me just as week as him- why should I have felt sympathy for that pathetic mortal?

My heart won the battle easily, and I slowly and quietly made my way over to him. I sat down nimbly on the edge of his bed, and tentatively reached out one hand to wipe away his tears. His brown eyes widened and focused at the touch, and he sat up quickly, looking at me fearfully with large, brown eyes.

It was then that I noticed just how beautiful his eyes really are- so large and innocent, hiding all of the pain that had accumulated in his heart over the years. I simply shook my head and smiled gently at him. I placed one hand behind his head and the other around his waist, and held him tightly to me. That was the first time anyone ever cried to me, and the last time that Ryou was ever truly scared of me.

It only took about two weeks after that for our relationship to become "official": official meaning the license to make out in public places (most pleasingly, in front of the Pharaoh), and go on dates without having to go behind people's backs.

By that point I had acquired a body of my own- courtesy of Shadi. I remember how utterly odd it was to breath again, through my own mouth, and see again with my own eyes. I also remember the love I saw in Ryou's eyes when he first looked into mine- a clash of graying violet and chocolate brown, which clashed and yet seemed to fit perfectly. I also remember just how very much he blushed when he got his first "real" look at my body.

Everything went absolutely perfect for two years. And not just for Ryou and myself: the Pharaoh and the High Priest finally got together- it took them two lifetimes to do it!- the psychopaths easily found love with one another, and the two morons (and think their names are Joey and Tristan, but I could be wrong...) finally admitted that they'd been lusting after one another for years. Like I said, everything was going just like I had dreamed it would.

Then it happened. There had been something... wrong with the bodies that Shadi gave us. It seems that we could only live exactly as long as we would have if we were still in Egypt, and we were going to die exactly how we would have then. It turns out I would have caught some sort of deadly and incurable disease when I turned twenty-four, and the Pharaoh would live a long, healthy, and unnaturally long life. Ironic, isn't it? I could escape every type of man made trap, I could even escape from the Shadow Realm, but I couldn't make it through one pathetic, microscopic disease.

And so, exactly once year ago today, I caught this dreadful disease. Modern-day doctors didn't get it: they kept rambling on about how this disease should have long ago dropped off the face of the planet, some four thousand years ago in ancient Egypt. All I could do as glare and ask if they could do anything to cure me.

They couldn't.

So today I lay on my death bed, my lover and one true friend sitting at my side, holding onto my hand as tight as he could, as if it would keep me on this earth as long as he didn't let go. I smiled weakly at him, and said "Koi, I don't think that cutting off the circulation in my hand is going to help me now."

Tears dripped down his face as he let go of me, almost as if he had lost me just then. "Kura," He sobbed, "Please don't go. What'll I do if you go away? I'll be all alone!" Again. The unspoken word hung in my mind. If I died, then Ryou would again withdraw into himself, and shut out the friends he had gained over the past years.

I glared at him and grabbed his arm with a strength I didn't think I had left in me. "Don't you dare give up, Ryou." I wasn't speaking of myself when I said that. "I won't let you die with me!" I sighed, loosening my grip on his arm; feeling incredibly tired all of a sudden. "Luv, I won't make it... but you have to-" Ryou violently shook his head at me "-if you don't, then what do you think that will do to me?

"I may die, but luv, I'm not going to ever leave you. Know this: I will never let you be alone! When I'm gone, you have to keep going on with your life. Find new love stay with your friends and don't give up on your life! You're not... alone." I was struggling now just to keep going, but I knew that I had to keep Ryou safe, so I continued. "You'll... always have... me... in... your... heart..."

The last thing that I ever heard was this: "I know, you'll be the only one I ever love."

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

A/N: This is the first remotely sad or tragic thing I've ever written. But for me, it was practically tear-worthy. Please, tell me what you thought of it.