(Another odd occurrence of a SmackDown! recap played on RAW. The camera then panned to the ring where the pyros went off, as the camera immediately panned to JR and King.)
JR: Welcome to another exciting edition to RAW folks!
KING: Exciting isn't enough to describe it, more like absolute chaos.
JR: Absolute chaos is right!
KING: Tonight's going to be a fine example.
JR: That's right tonight we have a Tag Team Main Event. La Resistance vs. Rock N Sock connection for the Tag Team Titles.
(The Undertakers went off in the arena.)
JR: What in the hell?
(The Devil's Advocate, Christian and Mark Jindrak, came out on stage and slowly strolled down the ramp sliding into the ring.)
KING: It's the SmackDown! Tag Team Champions JR.
JR: Keyword, SmackDown! What in the hell are they doing here?
(The arena filled with heavy boos, soon after, Christian grabbed a mic.)
CHRISTIAN: What in the hell is wrong with you people?
(The fans continued to boo.)
CHRISTIAN: You guys loved it when Hulk Hogan nearly killed The Undertaker on Friday. That's sick, you people are bloodthirsty.
(Mark Jindrak then took the mic.)
JINDRAK: And I also bet you're wondering why we're here. We're here to uphold the law, make sure certain "thugs" don't stir up trouble. No one gave Cena the right to show up on SmackDown!
JR: Like it's anymore right that the Undertaker showed up on RAW last Monday?
WELL I'M BACK
(A very disgruntled Bischoff came out on stage.)
BISCHOFF: First off, what in the hell do you two think you're pulling in that ring? This is Monday Night RAW, not Friday Night SmackDown!.
JR: Usually you won't hear me say this, but Bischoff is making sense.
BISCHOFF: No one gave you permission to show up here. So if I count to five and your asses still aren't out of that ring, I'm going to have security help you get the hell out of here.
(The fans began to cheer.)
BISCHOFF: 1….2……3…..4
NO CHANCE
(The arena once again filled up with boos as the WWE Chairman came out on stage.)
MCMAHON: First off Eric Bischoff, I call the shots around here, seeing as to how I am the one who pays you.
(The crowd began to chant asshole.)
MCMAHON: And you want to know who gave them permission to show up here? Me!
JR: I should've known.
MCMAHON: No piece of trash Cena shows up on SmackDown! and ruins the main event for me!
JR: I guess he's forgotten about last Monday.
MCMAHON: So I granted these two permission to show up on RAW and make sure Cena doesn't come anywhere near the arena.
KING: What?
JR: He's mad.
(The crowd began to boo.)
MCMAHON: So Eric, I think you owe them an apology.
BISCHOFF: I…I…I'm sorry….
MCMAHON: Now that's more like it. Christian, Jindrak let's head to the back, make sure Cena doesn't come anywhere near this arena.
(Christian and Jindrak nodded as the two of them headed up the ramp with Vince McMahon.)
JR: What in the hell is this? We were just told that Cena, the WWE Champion, isn't allowed to show up to the arena tonight.
KING: Vince really has it out for this guy.
(After the ring cleared up, Christy Hemme came out on stage.)
KING: Well it's my favorite time JR, Puppy Time!
JR: We're having triple threat action between Lita, Christy, and Joy for Number One contendership for the Women's Title. This match is their ticket to gold.
KING: Gold? What about puppies!
JR: That too King….
MATCH 1-Triple Threat-Woman's Championship Number One Contender Match.
Christy Hemme vs. Joy Giovanni vs. Lita
Winner: Joy Giovanni
Results: Pretty good opening divas match, Christy and Joy who would have appeared to have no wrestling talent showcased what they learned during their training. Joy came out on top and rolled up Lita for the pin.
(The camera then panned backstage where Eric Bischoff was seen with Edge, Triple H, and HBK, the crowd obviously gave a loud pop when the camera showed HBK.)
BISCHOFF: All damn week you three have been giving reasons why you deserve the Number One Contender spot. Edge, you gave valid reasons.
(BOOOO)
TRIPLE H: This little crybaby gave valid reasons? How many World Titles has he had around his waist?
BISCHOFF: Triple H, you too have valid points….
(BOOOO)
BISCHOFF: And Michaels, you don't even need to explain why you deserve it, so I'll tell you what, Survivor Series, Triple Threat, winner gets the title shot.
JR: Oh man a Triple Threat!
BISCHOFF: And later tonight, HBK, you'll go one on one with Edge.
(The crowd popped again.)
KING: That's going to be one hell of a match JR.
JR: Damn right it is.
(The camera then panned back to the ring where former Intercontinental Champion, Carlito came out to get ready for his match.)
JR: And there's the man that got destroyed by the Big Show.
(Carlito then grabbed a mic.)
CARLITO: Now before my match with Benoit, I just want to let everyone know that I took the liberty in volunteering for Team Captain for my Survivor Series team. Now I haven't exactly decided who I want for my team, but they better be cool!
KING: Well looks like we know one of the RAW Survivor Series team captains, but who's going to be the opposing team?
(Benoit then came out on stage, the second match of the night getting underway.)
MATCH 2-Non Title-Singles
Carlito vs. Chris Benoit
Winner: Chris Benoit
Results: The match was pretty back and forward, but Carlito was in the wrong place at the wrong time when Benoit from out of no where caught him with the Crossface. Before Carlito could tap out though, Snitsky came out and attacked Benoit calling for a DQ.
JR: What in the hell is Snitsky doing.
(Carlito and Snitsky continued to beat down on Benoit, Carlito grabbing a mic.)
CARLITO: Now dats cool! My first pick for my team is none other than Snitsky!
KING: Snitsky & Carlito, what a team!
(Snitsky and Carlito continued the beat down.)
WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!
(The crowd immediately popped as the Intercontinental Champion came out to the ring. Carlito and Snitsky immediately tried to attack him, but with his brute strength he pushed the two of them off of him.)
JR: Oh man what power!
(Big Show tossed Snitsky into the ropes and nailed him with a big boot. Carlito tried running at Show, but Benoit caught him with another Crossface.)
KING: NOOO!
JR: The Crossface has been applied.
(Eric Bischoff then came out.)
BISCHOFF: Now hold on just a damn minute! Snitsky, you want to interfere in a match then how about I set one up right now!
JR: I like where this is going.
BISCHOFF: Snitsky versus Big Show, right here right now!
(The crowd went nuts.)
MATCH 3-Non Title-Singles
Big Show vs. Snitsky
Winner: Big Show
Results: Benoit and Carlito were on the outside, Carlito to cheat for Snitsky and Benoit to make sure Carlito wouldn't interfere. This match was a battle of the powerhouses, and Big Show got the upperhand when he lifted Snitsky sky high for the Show Stopper. Carlito got on the apron to distract the ref, but Benoit quickly knocked him off and began hitting him with some hard right hands. Big Show then got the cover on Snitsky getting the three count.
(Carlito pulled Snitsky out of the ring as the both of them headed up the ramp, Big Show grabbing a mic.)
BIG SHOW: Hey Carlito, I got new for you. You're looking at the opposing team captain and his first pick, Chris Benoit!
JR: Well looks like we know Carlito and Snitsky's opponents are, but who will be their last pick?
KING: That's a good question JR.
(The camera then panned to the parking lot where Christian and Jindrak continued to scan each incoming car making sure Cena wasn't in any of them.)
JR: And there's the Devil's Advocate, making sure Cena has no access to the arena.
(The camera then panned back to Grisham with Edge.)
GRISHAM: Edge, you're about to go one on one with HBK, do you think HBK will soften you up for Survivor Series?
EDGE: Look Todd, I'm sick and tired of the Has Been Kid hogging the spotlight from superstars like me. If anything happens tonight, it's going to be me taking HBK out of commission.
(Edge then walked off as the 4th match of the night got underway.)
MATCH 4-Non Title-Singles
Edge vs. Shawn Michaels
Winner: HBK
Results: Edge tried to pull of all the stunts to pick up the win on HBK. He had HBK down and was ready for a spear. However, when he ran at Michaels, he was caught by surprised with some Sweet Chin Music, HBK getting the win.
JR: What a match!
KING: If this is any preview of what the Survivor Series Triple Threat is going to look like then I can't wait.
(The camera cut to the parking lot once more when Jindrak and Christian continued to stand on guard, still no sign of Cena.)
KING: Look at these two JR, Cena is scared of them! Scared!
JR: Cena is smart more like it. You have the chairman of the WWE and two big guys standing in the parking lot to make sure you don't show up, I think Cena knows when to pick his fights.
(The camera then went to the locker room where Rock and Mankind were seen together, the crowd popping big time.)
ROCK: Are you ready to lay the Smackdown on these candy asses.
MANKIND: Not yet….
ROCK: What do you mean not yet Mick? Our match is up next.
(Mankind then dug into his pants.)
MANKIND: I have to get Socko!
(The crowd popped once more.)
KING: Eww that disgusting sock.
ROCK: Let's go clean the ring with these Jabronis
(Rock N Sock then left the locker room, the Main Event getting underway.)
MAIN EVENT-World Tag Team Titles
La Resistance© vs. Rock N Sock Connection
(Rock and Grenier started things off in the ring, The Rock quickly getting offense as he nailed Grenier into the corner with some right and left hands.)
(The Rock continued the beat down and Conway eventually ran in and caught a hard Spinebuster from The Rock. The Rock then taunted as if he was going to do the People's Elbow, the crowd popping big time.)
JR: The People's Elbow, we haven't seen this in a long time!
(However when he ran to the ropes he caught a clothesline from Grenier, Sylvan giving him a few hard stomps.)
(A few minutes into the match, Grenier was working all over Rock, and eventually brought him to the La Resistance side of the ring tagging in Conway he continued the beat down by giving him some hard right hands to the midsection.)
KING: You have to agree with me when I say that La Resistance make one hell of a team.
JR: They are pretty experienced, but then again so is The Rock N Sock Connection. Both of these teams cannot be discounted for.
(Conway decided to Irish Whip Rock into the turnbuckle, but Rock reversed it and sent Conway into the turnbuckle, and when Conway bounced off, he caught a hard clothesline.)
JR: And The Rock back in this thing.
(The Rock then tagged in Mankind who immediately ran in and began his aggressive assault on Rob Conway, delivering knee drops on the downed man. Grenier then decided to step in, but The Rock immediately ran in and hit him with a surprise forearm. The Rock lifted Grenier up and whipped him into the corner followed by Mankind charging into him with a harsh knee.)
JR: It's clear that like La Resistance, Rock N Sock Connection are on the same page.
KING: But Rock and Mankind are a little rusty, when was the last time they've been in the ring aside from Thanksgiving Bash.
JR: Good point King, but from the looks of it, Rock and Mankind are showing no signs of ring rust.
(Ten minutes in and match was clearly a back and forth, Grenier and Conway isolating Mankind from the Rock, the two of them zapping his energy trying to focus on one opponent.)
KING: See this is where La Resistance's advantage comes into play; these two have been in the ring as a team longer than The Rock and Mankind have.
JR: But still King Rock and Mankind are top athletes, and I'm sure they'll come back in this thing.
(Grenier lifted Mankind up for, but Mankind quickly kicked Grenier in the stomach and nailed him with a DDT.)
JR: A DDT! Oh man what force.
(Conway tried to run back in, but The Rock once again came in and hit him with another Spinebuster. The Rock then stood over Conway and slowly pulled off his elbow pad and tossed it into the crowd.)
JR: The People's Elbow!
(The Rock then went from one rope to the other and successfully scored the People's Elbow.)
(Grenier then stood, Mankind digging for Socko.)
JR: We could have new Tag Team Champions!
(Mankind then pushed Socko right into the mouth of Grenier, Grenier falling to the mat.)
KING: You're right; we might have new Tag Champs.
(Then from out of the crowd an unknown assailant slid into the ring and ran at Mankind with an axehammer breaking up the Mandible Claw, the ref calling for the bell.)
WINNERS: La Resistance
JR: Who in the hell?
(The Rock who was too busy on the outside battling it out with Conway and had no idea what was happening.)
(The mystery man continued his beatdown on Mankind, hitting him with some hard stomps as he lifted Mankind and tossed him outside of the ring.)
KING: Wait a minute JR I know who that is…
JR: It can't be….
JR & KING: BIG NASTY!
JR: What in the hell is the XWA HardKore Champion doing here?
KING: I have no idea JR!
(Big Nasty continued his punishment on Mankind, looking under the ring pulling out a chair.)
JR: Big Nasty has a damn chair, get the refs out here!
(Big Nasty slapped the chair over Mankind, Foley instantly falling to the ground. Nasty then placed the chair on Foley's chest and then jumped on the apron.)
KING: What in the hell?
(Big Nasty then yelled and jumped off the apron jumping onto the chair which then plunged into Foley's chest.)
JR: DEAR GOD! DEAR GOD! NO NO NO THAT'S JUST INHUMANE!
(HOLY &# HOLY &# HOLY &#)
(Big Nasty then laughed and headed over to the announce table.)
KING: He's coming over here now!
(Big Nasty then stood on top of the announce table with a microphone in hand.)
BIG NASTY: Things have officially gotten HARDCORE!
(He then smashed the mic over his own head and tossed it to the ground, Big Nasty hopping off the table and heading backstage.)
JR: THIS MAN IS HORRENDOUS, I'M GOING TO BE SICK!
(The camera then panned to the parking lot once more where Vince's Limo was heading out, driving pass Christian and Jindrak. The window rolled down showing Vince McMahon.)
CHRISTIAN: Heading out sir?
MCMAHON: Yeah, good job on keeping Cena out of the arena. Hey driver, get me to the hotel immediately.
DRIVER: We're going to have to take a little trip first.
(The driver's window rolled down revealing John Cena, the crowd instantly popping.)
JR: It's John Cena, Cena is driving the limo!
MCMAHON: HELP!
(Jindrak and Christian rushed to the limo, but Cena quickly sped off leaving the two behind.)
KING: Cena will pay for that JR, mark my words.
JR: We gotta go for tonight, man and what a night it was. See you next week folks!
(RAW then went off the air.)
©