Disclaimer: The characters of Inuyasha are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, but this story belongs to me

Chapter Five: Abandonment

Day Five –

If I don't get any sleep soon, I think I might just die. Seriously, I'm not kidding. I'll be dead. D.E.A.D. And it will be YOUR fault.

Every night… every SINGLE night the baby cries and cries. She never lets me sleep for more than two hours at a time. Don't people go insane from lack of sleep? Is this some warped experiment to make the students crazy? If we stay sane do we pass?

I really need sleep.

Kagome lifted tired eyes to her paper. Her head was throbbing painfully. She just knew that this was some sort of plot against the students. How did people survive to have more than one child? How did they have the energy? It didn't seem humanly possible.

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Crying was heard throughout the campsite.

Not that crying was exactly an unfamiliar thing these days, oh no. After all, Mikomi cried every single solitary night. Sometimes for over an hour at a time. This time, however, it was the miko, and not Mikomi, that was doing the crying. Unfortunately, that also wasn't an unfamiliar sight over the past few days.

"I can't do this," she sobbed as the baby in her arms cooed cutely. No one would think that this cute little thing would turn into a screaming banshee during the night. And so far no one found a volume control either. "I need sleep." She gave a slightly insane laugh that frightened her friends a little before she cried again.

Lack of a good night's sleep was making everyone a little irritable. The night before last they had stayed at an inn. Sango actually volunteered to stay in Miroku's room with Kirara, Inuyasha (who rudely declined) and Shippo so that Kagome could have a little privacy. She wasn't fooling anyone, though. Really she just wanted to sleep without having to hear that banshee baby cry all night long.

"I wanna stay with Mikomi!" Shippo had cried. It had taken some convincing to get the tired kit to stay with Sango, and in the end he agreed. Well, not really agreed. He had fallen asleep in the middle of the argument.

The innkeeper had been too curious about the odd crying baby, so Kagome ended up taking her outside and camping out with Inuyasha keeping guard. It was one thing explaining the marvels of modern technologies to her friends, but it was something else entirely trying to explain it to a stranger. That's when she realized that she was going to have to be extra careful with Mikomi around strangers. They were more likely to see it as a demon than anything else.

There was no inn for her friends to stay in last night, so once again they had to listen to the constant wails on the electronic baby. Kagome had been apologetic in the morning as she attempted to make breakfast. But her eyes wouldn't focus enough for her to pour the water into the ramen cups, so she ended up giving everyone granola bars. That didn't sit well with the hungry group, especially the always ramen hungry hanyou. He told her exactly what he thought of granola in his usual colorful way.

And that is how the miko ended up sobbing in the middle of the camp site.

"Let's just leave the stupid thing here, Kagome. You can pick it up on your way home. So what if you fail." Kagome and Shippo gasped in horror at Inuyasha's suggestion. Sango and Miroku were looking expectantly. Likely hoping that she would think it was a good idea. "You fail all the time anyhow in school don't you?"

"YOU WANT TO ABANDON MIKOMI?" screamed Kagome.

Inuyasha was looking a little nervous. "Keh, she's not a real baby. Let's just get rid of it. It's too much trouble."

"I can't fail, Inuyasha! I can't!" She hugged the baby closer to her chest. She wasn't sure which would be worse, failing the grade, or failing at her first attempt at trying to be a good mother. "Please…"

Inuyasha sighed and sat next to her. "We can't keep dragging that thing around with us. It gets in the way. It doesn't do ANYTHING but cause problems. Let's just ditch it."

Kagome shook her head determinedly, wiping the tears from her face. "I can't ditch it. Even if I wanted to I couldn't. We are responsible for the babies. And my mom will have to pay the school five hundred dollars if I lose it. We can't afford that."

"What if we took her home and left her with your mother? Then you wouldn't fail and the baby would be looked after."

Kagome's eyes lit up at the dog demon's suggestion. Then she sighed and frowned. "That would be cheating."

He scowled at her. His patience limit was quickly being tested. "It's getting too dangerous, Kagome. The last few battles you were totally useless! You can't shoot an arrow straight now to save your life! And it almost cost your life yesterday! I won't risk you dying because of some stupid GRADE!" He looked away from her. "Besides, that thing is a nuisance."

"I know it is… but I don't want to fail."

With a stifled groan Inuyasha sank down beside her and covered his eyes with his hand. Then he decided to try a different approach. Who said that strategy wasn't one of his strong points? "You could get a full night's sleep. You wouldn't have to get up so many times in the middle of the night."

Ah, now that was just the thing to tempt a tired miko.

She sighed and looked up with hope in her eyes. "Maybe…" she sniffled. "Maybe we could go see Mama tomorrow. Maybe just for a night or two. If I stayed there too then it wouldn't really be cheating… I could take a nap or bath or something while Mama watched her."

Before Kagome completed her sentence, Sango and Miroku were already gathering their supplies. Camp was quickly packed up in record time, and the group began the slow journey back to Kaede's village. The humans' spirits were a little higher than they had been earlier in the morning.

"The trip wasn't a total loss," said Sango as they walked back to the village. "We found another jewel shard. Plus since there is no news on Naraku's whereabouts, taking a few days off isn't such a bad idea."

Miroku agreed. "We can take this opportunity to stock up on supplies as well."

"And I would like to repair my weapons. I might even go back to the demon exterminators' village."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes at the group's efforts to reinforce the idea that Kagome should go home. He knew the comments were directed at him so he wouldn't make a fuss about Kagome leaving for a few days. Keh, I'M the one who suggested she go in the first place, morons.

He looked down at the girl and frowned. Their helpful comments were not exactly making Kagome feel any better. In fact, she was looking even more miserable.

But Kagome wasn't the only one who had stopped participating in the conversation. Shippo was also curiously quiet. While camp was packed up he had hardly spoken a word. He didn't ask to hold Mikomi. He didn't ride on Kagome or Inuyasha. He walked slowly behind the group, right behind a sullen Kagome. Not once during the day did he say anything to make Inuyasha mad, even when there was plenty of opportunity for him to do so.

Frankly, the ultra polite and quiet Shippo was beginning to worry Kagome. She felt bad that she hadn't noticed before suppertime. She chalked it up to having an overly tired brain. I'll talk to him after dinner, she promised herself.

Lack of sleep had made the young miko overly tired, and prone to forgetfulness. It took most of her concentration to just put one foot in front of the other. Even with Inuyasha carrying her sack and Sango and Miroku taking turns carrying Mikomi, Kagome still had problems keeping up with the others. It didn't help matters when she thought about what a burden she had been on the group since her assignment began. She hoped they would still be talking to her at the end of the month.

When Inuyasha finally called for the group to stop for camp, she was too tired to even move someplace comfortable to collapse.

Miroku took over Kagome's usual chore of making dinner for the group. He poked through her bag (probably a little longer than necessary) until he found the ramen and the kettle for water.

Too tired for ramen, Kagome began to doze off in front of the fire.

"You don't look too good, Kagome."

Sleepily she opened one eye, just enough to see that Inuyasha's nose was about two centimeters from her own. Usually this would cause her to blush and jump back stammering or yelling 'sit boy'. But today she was just too tired.

"Tired," she said, letting her head drop forward. She felt Inuyasha sit beside her, and let her head fall onto his shoulder.

"You need to eat."

"Tired," she mumbled before yawning.

"I think something is wrong with Shippo," he whispered.

Kagome's eyes popped open and she sat up. Shippo!

The kit was sitting quietly across from them. He was being very still and very watchful. And very neat. He had gathered up all the ramen cups and had them stacked neatly, waiting for Kagome to dispose of them as usual. He also made himself a bed out of a pile of leaves.

"Shippo?" she called.

Obediently Shippo jumped up and raced to her. He stopped just in front of her, looking nervous and a little scared. "Yes?"

Kagome stifled another yawn and patted her lap, an invitation for him to sit. "Is there something wrong?"

He shook his head as he crawled into her lap. "I'm fine. Nothing is wrong."

"You're being awfully quiet today."

He looked away. "I thought it was good to be quiet."

"Mmm… sometimes it is. But we're worried that something is wrong. You can tell us anything, Shippo."

"Nothing is wrong."

"Shippo…"

His green eyes began to water. "I just want to be good. I don't want to be any trouble."

This shocked both the girl and the hanyou. Why was Shippo crying? Could it be that he was suffering from lack of sleep as well?

"Oi, brat! What's with the tears?"

Shippo winced as he glanced at Inuyasha. "I don't want to be a nuisance," he whispered as he hugged Kagome tightly.

Suddenly Kagome's heart sank. Shippo thinks we might abandon him because of what we were saying about Mikomi. She turned to look at Inuyasha, and could tell that he had drawn the same conclusion. He looked at her pleadingly before looking away. Kagome gave him a smile she knew he could sense if not see. Immediately she sat Mikomi aside and held onto the little fox kit.

"We will never abandon you, Shippo. Never!"

"But I fight with Inuyasha…"

"So do I." She stroked his hair.

"I'm not as good of a fighter…"

Kagome shrugged. "You're young. And you get better every day with your transformations. You learn and grow every day. Besides, there is more to winning a battle than fighting."

"I'm not a provider…"

This time Inuyasha answered. "Oi, that's MY job, brat."

Shippo lip trembled before he began to wail. "I don't want to be alone!"

"Oh, Shippo! You won't be alone! You'll always have us! Always! We're family. All of us. We love you!"

Soothingly Kagome rocked him back and forth in her arms. She made soft cooing and shushing sounds, reassuring him that he would never be alone, that he was loved, and that he belonged in their family for all time. She rested her cheek on the top of his head and continued to rock him, even after he cried himself to sleep.

When she finally looked up she saw Inuyasha watching her rock Shippo. He looked sad and uncertain. Did he question his part in the family as well?

"We're family," she repeated, looking straight into Inuyasha's eyes. "I will always love this family, and I will always come back to this family."

"Keh."

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I find that I joke about wanting to abandon the baby and just get a failing grade these days. Sometimes I'm not so sure it's a joke though. I'm sure there's a fine line there somewhere. The baby may make me tired and grumpy and may seriously get in the way at times, but I don't think I could really do it, abandon it I mean.

One thing I learned is that sometimes you have to be careful what you say to other people. Especially if they are younger. When you are under stress sometimes you might say things you don't really mean, or you don't think about how other people will take it.

Dealing with the baby is making me realize that people deal with things in different ways. Sometimes it is easy to forget that. When you see someone smiling and happy all the time it is easy to forget that they have sad things and scared things inside of them that they may be hiding.

This baby has become important to my family because it is making us realize how important we are to each other.

This assignment has also started me thinking about families, and how different they are. Some families might be mom and dad with their two point five kids. The Higurashi family has me, my brother, my mom, and my grandpa. Families also don't have to be related by blood at all. In fact, some of the strongest family ties may be from people who have CHOSEN to make themselves a family.

Why does the baby cry all the time? Am I doing something wrong? Do they all cry like this? Isn't there an easier way to tell what they want? Do mothers have some sort of instinct that tells them what to do and what the babies want? If I don't have this instinct now will I get it when I become a mom? Because right now I don't have a clue what to do and I'm starting to get worried.

Kagome Higurashi