(SmackDown! immediately came on the air to the sound of cowbells.)
TAZZ: Looks like we're opening things up with the presence of JBL.
COLE: The last person I want to see tonight, hell not even the last, I don't want to see him at all!
TAZZ: Be nice Cole!
(The illustrious limousine then came out on stage, the chauffeur stepping out and moving to the backdoor, opening it as JBL came out.)
TAZZ: There he is Cole, the man with the million dollar smile.
(Not only did JBL come out of the limo, but so did Orlando Jordan and Vince McMahon, the fans beginning to boo heavily.)
TAZZ: The boss!
(The three stepped into the ring, JBL immediately going for the microphone.)
TAZZ: Quiet Cole he's about to speak.
COLE: I wasn't even…
TAZZ: Shhh!
JBL: Man oh man; it sure is great to be back here at SmackDown! where my thousand plus fans can finally unite as one and chant J-B-L.
(The crowd began booing.)
JBL: J-B-L, J-B-L.
TAZZ: Come on Cole, J-B-L, J-B-L.
COLE: Oh please.
JBL: Now last week, I know Orlando Jordan, my Chief of Staff, announced that I would be back last week, but after watching those disrespectful ingrates Cena, Hogan, and the nastiest of them all Batista trying to take advantage of SmackDown! I had to intervene.
(Vince McMahon nodded and smiled.)
JBL: And yes, as Orlando Jordan announced last week, I will be leading my own squad to Survivor Series. My first pick being none other than my Chief of Staff.
(Jordan raised his hands in the air.)
JBL: It's just too bad that there's not one person back there that has the guts to take us own.
(Batista's music then hit the arena as the World Heavyweight Champion came out on stage to a large pop.)
COLE: The Animal is here!
(Batista already had a mic in hand and was ready to get down to business.)
BATISTA: No one has the guts to face you huh? That's too bad, because I know a few guys who would give anything to kick your ass, me being one of them!
(The fans went wild.)
BATISTA: So JBL, since you like attacking people when they're not looking, let's see if you'll be able to pull that off at Survivor Series.
TAZZ: I'm not liking where this is going.
COLE: Well that's too bad Tazz, because I sure am.
BATISTA: Let's see if you'll be able to pull that off when Team JBL faces Team Animal!
COLE: Batista has entered into the Survivor Series!
MCMAHON: Now you wait just a damn minute! You don't come out here in the middle of any of my discussions. You're the World Heavyweight Champion show some damn respect.
BATISTA: Vince, shove it up your ass!
(The fans popped.)
COLE: Oh man!
BATISTA: JBL, Survivor Series, you, Orlando Jordan, and whoever else you can find will take on my squad!
(A sort of scared JBL continued to look on from the ring.)
MCMAHON: Just who in the hell do you think you are? You think you run things around here; no you don't, because you're not the boss.
COLE: Oh get off the high horse.
MCMAHON: So since you seem like you want some in ring action tonight, I'll tell you what. I'm picturing a SmackDown! Main Event, JBL and Randy Orton against Batista and Hulk Hogan.
(The fans cheered loudly.)
COLE: Oh man what a match!
TAZZ: A SmackDown exclusive, you can bet that.
MCMAHON: With Special Guest Referee, The Undertaker!
COLE: What, how unfair is that?
TAZZ: Seems pretty fair to me.
(JBL's frightened look then became ecstatic as Jordan patted him on the back.)
MCMAHON: So I suggest that you head backstage and prepare for tonight.
(Batista nodded and still had a very positive look on his face, he was certain that he and Hogan would defeat Orton and JBL even with Undertaker as the referee.)
TAZZ: Man that's going to be one hell of a Main Event.
COLE: Are you kidding? Things are going to be in favor of Orton and JBL.
TAZZ: Undertaker is going to call it right down the middle.
COLE: Don't make me laugh.
(After the ring cleared, The French Phenom, Rene Dupree came out to the ring.)
COLE: Well let's get ready for some United States Tournament action; we have Renee Dupree vs. Charlie Haas.
TAZZ: This is going to be a good opening match Cole, believe me.
COLE: Oh I do believe you, both Haas and Dupree are some very talented athletes.
MATCH 1-United States Title Tournament-Singles
Renee Dupree vs. Charlie Haas
Winner: Renee Dupree
Results: The match was a very solid opening match, Haas getting a lot of offense early on, but Dupree's got back into the match with his sheer power as he caught Haas by surprise with a Falcon Arrow.
TAZZ: What a match, I think Dupree is definitely my top pick for next United States Champion, even though he is French.
(The camera then cut backstage where Romero was with Chavo Guerrero.)
ROMERO: Chavo, in a couple of minutes you'll be going one on one with London, you saw his impressive match last week against Spike, how will you take him on in the ring tonight.
CHAVO: What kind of crybaby is London? I mean honestly, he lost the title fair and square and he's already asking for a rematch? You know, me being the fighting champion that I am, I accepted, and tonight he's going to lose once more.
(Chavo then walked off, the second match of the night getting under way.)
MATCH 2-Cruiserweight Championship-Singles
Chavo Guerrero© vs. Paul London
Winner????
Results: This was one hell of a Cruiserweight match; they were all over each other inside and outside of the ring. No one knew where this was going to go, but Paul London finally ducked under a clothesline from Chavo and nailed a German Suplex. The ref counted the three, but while he hit the three, London had his shoulders down.
COLE: Wait a minute who won?
(The referee grabbed the title and handed it to London raising his hand, the fans cheering, but another ref came to the ring stating that London had his shoulders down as he moved over to Chavo to raise his hand.)
TAZZ: I'm confused.
(They continued to argue in the ring for a while as the camera cut backstage to Hassan who confronted Benjamin.)
HASSAN: I hope you're happy…
BENJAMIN: What are you talking about?
HASSAN: You stole my spot that in the US Title Tournament, another display of blatant racism against Muslim Americans.
BENJAMIN: Spot? You never had a spot, nor do you deserve one.
HASSAN: I don't huh, how about I show you in the ring why I deserve one.
BENJAMIN: Good, I have a couple of minutes to spare, and I'm sure that's all it's going to take.
HASSAN: Good, I'll see you in the ring!
COLE: Looks like we have an impromptu match, and it's coming up next!
ALLIYEAH ALLIYEAH
(Hassan then came out to the ring without his usual garb; he was just in his tights, ready to take on Shelton Benjamin.)
COLE: Hassan truly believes that his US Title spot was stolen by Benjamin.
TAZZ: Well it doesn't matter Cole, all I know is we're about to have another SmackDown! exclusive match up.
AIN'T NO STOPPIN NO!
(Benjamin then came out on stage the crowd popping as he moved quickly to the ring, the third match of the night getting underway.)
MATCH 3-Non Title-Singles
Shelton Benjamin vs. Muhammad Hassan
Winner: Shelton Benjamin
Results: These two put on another good match for the night, Hassan getting a lot of shots in on Benjamin and getting a lot of heat from the fans. Hassan however lost the match when he continued to get heat from the fans and turned around to catch a T-Bone Suplex.
COLE: Man oh man what a match, this shows exactly why Shelton got that spot in the United States Title Tournament.
TAZZ: Damn straight.
(The camera then cut backstage where the Devil's Advocate were seen talking.)
JINDRAK: I can't believe I got put in a match with Benoit.
CHRISTIAN: Yeah I know, I tried to help, but I guess it wasn't your night.
JINDRAK: Yeah, but tonight is your night, you have to beat your opponent and advance in this tournament in the name of The Advocate.
CHRISTIAN: Yeah, but who is my opponent.
(Jindrak and Christian looked at eachother a bit worried.)
JINDRAK: Relax man, whoever it is, you got this thing won.
(Christian nodded as the two of them headed out to the ring.)
COLE: Could it be the last SmackDown! draft pick?
TAZZ: Who knows Cole, I just hope Christian gets the win.
GONG
(The Devil's Advocate came out into the ring, Christian pacing around the ring waiting for his opponent.)
COLE: We're seconds away from finding out who it is.
I THINK I'M CUTE I KNOW I'M SEXY
TAZZ: Whoa!
COLE: The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!
TAZZ: This can't be, there's no way.
(Tazz was wrong, as HBK came out on stage, the crowd popping immensely, he continued to dance down the ramp giving fives out to his fans who had their hands out.)
COLE: HBK is on SmackDown!
TAZZ: This is huge!
COLE: Another win for SmackDown!
(Michaels then took off his attire, the match beginning.)
MATCH 4-United States Title Tournament-Singles
Shawn Michaels vs. Christian w/ Mark Jindrak
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Results: Jindrak tried his hardest to get Christian the win, but Benoit came out keeping Jindrak away from the ring as HBK nailed Christian dead in the face with some Sweet Chin Music.
COLE: And Michaels has just advanced in the Title Tournament.
TAZZ: Man I don't know who the U.S. Champion is going to be now, I know I said Dupree earlier, but after seeing Shelton and Hassan I changed my mind, but I think I changed my mind again now that Michaels has advanced.
(The camera then panned backstage where Jordan and JBL were talking.)
JBL: So you're sure it's going to work.
JORDAN: I placed the call and left a message on his machine, I'm sure he'll get back to us before tonight.
JBL: I hope this works; Batista won't know what hit him.
(The two of them smiled.)
COLE: What in the hell are they talking about?
TAZZ: Business talk, something you wouldn't know about.
COLE: Like you would.
HEY!
(Randy Orton then came out as the Tag Team main event was seconds from beginning.)
COLE: And here we go folks, the Main Event.
TAZZ: This is going be the main event of main events!
(The cowbells then rung as the limo came out, JBL by himself.)
COLE: And where's his "Chief of Staff" Orlando Jordan?
TAZZ: Doing business stuff probably.
(The Animal then came out but waited on the stage.)
I AM A REAL AMERICAN.
(The two of them then headed down into the ring together pushing Orton and JBL out of the ring.)
COLE: And here we go folks, get ready for the Special Referee, The Undertaker…
TAZZ: Come on Cole, Undertaker is going to call this right down the middle.
GONG
(The Undertaker then strolled out into the ring in his regular attire, the fans chanting "Corporate Sell-Out.")
MAIN EVENT-Non Title-Tag Team
Randy Orton & JBL vs. Batista & Hulk Hogan w/ Special Guest Referee-The Undertaker
(The match started off with Batista and Orton. Orton immediately started things off by hitting Batista with a few uppercuts and then nailing a backbreaker. Orton then posed and pointed to Hulk Hogan mocking him.)
COLE: Look at the disrespect that Orton is showing to Hogan.
(While Orton continued to mock Orton, Batista got up, and when Orton turned around he caught a harsh clothesline from Batista.)
COLE: And look at the Animal almost taking Orton's head off.
TAZZ: Batista is a beast, I will say that Cole.
(Batista then tagged in Hogan, the crowd popping immensely, as we were about to get preview of Randy Orton and Hulk Hogan.)
COLE: Here we go; these two will be going at it at Survivor Series!
TAZZ: This is going to be one hell of a match.
(Hogan ran at Orton with a forearm, Orton got back up and caught another forearm, Hogan then began to punch Orton with some heavy rights, but Undertaker grabbed Hogan and pushed him off.)
COLE: What the hell?
UNDERTAKER: You better calm your ass down Hogan.
TAZZ: See Cole, right down the middle, he's making sure Hogan was getting a little carried away with those punches.
(Orton then lowblowed Hogan and the Undertaker immediately turned away acting as if he didn't see a thing, the fans booing loudly.)
COLE: Is this your take on fair Tazz?
(Orton then tagged in JBL who immediately began working on the down Hogan. JBL then moved to one of the turnbuckles removing the padding.)
COLE: Come on "ref'
(The Undertaker at the same instant was arguing with a fan acting as if he didn't catch the illegal action. JBL then lifted up Hogan and whipped him into the turnbuckle, but Hogan reversed and sent JBL flying into the exposed turnbuckle. Hogan then fell, but slowly crawled to Batista making the tag, the fans going wild.)
COLE: Batista! The Animal and JBL!
(Batista ran into the ring, and JBL immediately slid out, The Undertaker however was not doing the usual ten countout for JBL and Randy Orton stepped into the ring attacking Batista from behind.)
COLE: This is unfair.
(Orton then whipped Batista into the ropes, Batista slinging back hitting Orton with a hard clothesline. Meanwhile, Hogan and JBL were fighting on the outside when Hogan tossed JBL back into the ring.)
COLE: Oh man…
(JBL had a shocked look on his face as he stood up and turned around standing face to face with Batista. JBL begged for mercy, but tried to hit him with a cheap shot, but Batista blocked the bunch and hit him with some right hands of his own. Batista then flung JBL into the ropes, JBL running back to catch a monstrous Spinebuster.)
COLE: Come on JBL, I thought you could handle Batista!
(Orton then started talking trash to Batista, and Batista just walked over to him and flung him into the ring. The Undertaker immediately ran at Batista and grabbed him.)
UNDERTAKER: He's not the legal man, leave him alone!
(While Taker was once again "officiating the match fairly" JBL got up and ran at Batista nailing him with a Clothesline from Hell.)
COLE: Dammit Undertaker, stop interfering!
TAZZ: He's calling the match the Cole, that's all.
(JBL then went for the cover, Undertaker starting the count 1…2…)
(Hogan then rushed into the ring breaking the pin, the fans cheering.)
COLE: Hogan saved Batista.
(Orton then slid into the ring as he and Hogan had an old fashioned duke out, Hogan tossing Orton into the ropes and nailing him with a big boot. Hogan then taunted to the fans, signaling for the Atomic Leg Drop.)
COLE: Here we go!
(Undertaker however grabbed Hogan and tossed him out of the ring.)
UNDERTAKER: You're not the legal man, stay out!
(Undertaker then helped Orton up and walked him to his corner.)
TAZZ: Look at this, Undertaker is actually trying to make sure one of these guys don't hurt themselves.
(Hogan however slid back into the ring and turned Undertaker around, hitting him with a set of rights and lefts, the fans popping.)
COLE: Get him Hogan!
(JBL got up and attacked Hogan from behind tossing him into the corner as he and Undertaker began to double team on Hogan. Orton then came up and had JBL and Undertaker move as he worked on Hogan by himself all the while talking smack to him.)
COLE: Look at the carnage, someone stop this!
(JBL and Undertaker then moved over to Batista beginning to stomp on him.)
YOUR TIME IS UP MY TIME IS NOW
(The crowd popped instantly as John Cena rushed down the ramp and slid into the ring.)
COLE: It's Cena!
(Cena immediately began to exchange punches with Undertaker and JBL, hitting them both with some hard rights. Orton then came out of the corner to catch a clothesline from Cena.)
COLE: Oh man Cena is exploding in that ring!
(However the numbers did catch up on him as JBL, Orton, and Undertaker all began team up on Cena. Hogan though rushed out of the corner and attacked Orton from behind sending him back into the corner, the crowd popping. Batista was also on his as he and JBL began to exchange punches, leaving Undertaker and Cena going at it.)
COLE: Oh man, what a Survivor Series preview!
(JBL was sent to the turnbuckle only to catch another Spinebuster as he immediately slid out of the ring. Hogan continued his punches and then tossed Orton out of the ring, meanwhile, Cena and Taker continued to exchange blows as he clotheslined Taker from the ring, Undertaker landing on his feet as JBL, Orton, and Undertaker then headed up the ramp.)
COLE: Look at them running, what cowards!
(Orlando Jordan then came out as he moved to JBL, saying something to him as JBL had a pleased look on his face.)
TAZZ: What's Jordan saying?
COLE: I have no idea.
(JBL then took a mic as began to breathe heavily.)
JBL: Batista, I hope you enjoy Survivor Series, because the last person on Team JBL is someone even you will fear.
(Batista looked on.)
JBL: ANDRE THE GIANT!
COLE & TAZZ: What!
COLE: Was this what JBL and Jordan were talking about earlier? Were they trying to contact Andre?
TAZZ: Well looks like it worked, because apparent at Survivor Series, it will be JBL, Orlando Jordan, and Andre the Giant vs. well Batista…
COLE: Oh man, what a night, we cannot end like this.
TAZZ: We have too Cole.
(Smackdown then went off the air as the camera panned from Batista to JBL.)