Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing fan fics.

Chapter 8: Losses

"It's Lestrange!" called Moody's growling voice from behind her.

Tonks froze, and glared up at the figure standing over her. Her aunt gave an evil smile and drew her wand, cackling maniacally. Earlier that evening, her and the rest of the Order had received an urgent message from Snape that Voldemort and his Death Eaters had lured Harry and his friends to the Department of Mysteries, making it seem that Sirius was being held captive. The Order had wasted no time in getting there. When they arrived at the Ministry the Dark Mark was already hanging idly in the calm night sky. They had, of course, feared the worst, and barged right in.

No one seemed to be dead, but quite a lot of Death Eaters lay scattered across the floor, groaning in pain. Harry and his friends sure did a good job, thought Tonks smugly.

"So, little bittle Tonksie, come to fight her Auntie Bella? How cute," Bellatrix cooed in a terrible, mock baby voice, "Stupefy!" she cried, unexpectedly, and Tonks felt the spell zoom by her cheek.

Too close, she thought.

"Impedimenta!" Tonks yelled, and felt a wave of triumph when Bellatrix let out a screech of pain; the spell had hit her. She turned quickly to the remaining members of the Order, and shouted, "I got her…someone get that one," she pointed to a large blonde Death Eater, who was shooting spells everywhere, "Before he blows up something important."

Tonks couldn't believe she was the one giving orders. Moody and Kingsley had already gone off to battle, and they were the ones who usually seemed to jump to the position of leadership. It was surprising to see that most of the Order seemed to be shaking in their boots. Dedalus Diggle and Hestia Jones, to name a few.

"Are you sure you don't need any help with her?" asked a hoarse voice from behind her. She turned, and nodded impatiently. "Yes, Remus, I've got her," she replied, and gestured towards the hysterically screaming Bellatrix.

He nodded swiftly, and set off, brushing her slightly as he passed. Tonks felt her heart involuntarily melt as they touched, if only for half a second.

Bellatrix was getting to her feet, still screaming and thrashing about madly. "AV-"

"Stupefy!" retorted Tonks.

But Bellatrix quickly dodged it, "Cru-"

"REDUCTO!"

No use; Bellatrix was too fast. "CAMISIO!" her ghastly aunt shrieked, waving her wand wildly.

Tonks gasped. The spell had hit her. She felt something soft and dreadfully cold pushing itself down her throat, through all her organs and veins, creeping down her legs, towards her toes and…BANG! She felt herself being smacked in the face. She crumpled to the door, twitching horribly, until everything went black…

Remus Lupin slammed open the front doors to St. Mungo's, nervously biting his lower lip, and ran straight up to the 'Welcomewitch'.

"Nymphadora Tonks!" he said shakily, breathing heavily.

The witch gave him a cold stare. "Sir, visiting hours ended ages ago. Please escort yourself out."

"I need to see Nymphadora Tonks."

"Visiting hours are over, sir."

"You don't understand. I need to see her. They - they said she's not doing well…"

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow to-"

"No!" Remus' voice rose suddenly, "I need to see Nymphadora Tonks!"

"Sir-"

"Fine, I'll find her myself then." He turned quickly, and began to walk fast down the halls.

A Healer began to approach him, but he shook her off. "Sir - please…we're-"

"Move," he said harshly and roughly pushed past her.

"Sir!"

Remus looked down a narrow hallway. On the wall, a creaky sign read, '"Dangerous" Dai Llewellyn Ward: Serious Bites.' He shook his head impatiently and rushed up the stairs, not stopping until he reached the fourth floor, 'Spell Damage'.

He ran into the first room; empty. The second room contained an old witch and grizzly-looking wizard. Third –

"Excuse me, sir?" an old Healer approached him, followed by a motley crew of others. "You can't be here. Visiting hours are over."

Remus took a deep breath, and tried to get by the crowd of Healers, who were now blocking the door to the third room. "Yes, but I need to see Nymphadora Tonks right now."

He glanced over their heads at the doorway, quickly reading the sign that said, 'Tonks, Nymphadora.'

"Sir - "

But Remus had lost it. Why didn't they just understand he needed to see her? He curled his fists aggressively into balls, clutching his wand at the same time, and shouted angrily, "GET OUT OF THE BLOODY WAY! MOVE! I NEED TO SEE NYMPHADORA TONKS! NOW!"

Shocked, the Healers made almost no rejection as he charged through them, slipped into the room, and locked the door behind him.

"Why, Remus, I didn't think you were such an angry person," said a croaky voice from behind him.

Remus turned quickly in surprise. "I'm not," he said simply, and moved toward the hospital bed, his hands placed loosely in his pockets, feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness fall over him at the sight of Tonks looking happily at him from her hospital bed.

Tonks smiled slightly, and yawned. "Was that not you out there that I heard screaming at those poor Healers?"

Remus blushed, and bit his lip, "Well, yes, but I'm not an angry person."

"You'd just do anything for me," she said, in such a tone that it was impossible to know if she was being sarcastic or not.

Remus remained silent, and soundlessly took her hand in his, brushing his thumb up and down it gently.

"You know, according to what my Healer told me - cheeky old cow - that I have had 'absolutely no visitors whatsoever', that makes you my first. Congratulations."

But Remus could not force himself to smile, "Look, Tonks, the reason I came…"

"We totally annihilated those Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries, didn't we?"

"Yes, but Tonks…"

"Ooh, I heard Malfoy was put away. Merlin, if I could see the look on his face…"

Remus sighed. "Tonks."

"And you know, I'm really-"

'Tonks, please." Remus looked deep into her eyes, studying her, pleading with her.

Tonks inhaled deeply, and began fidgeting slightly with her hands.

"Remus…someone…someone's died, haven't they?" she mumbled, but continued looking at him.

Remus stiffened, and looked away at the wall.

"Yes." He choked out the words, as if saying it really made it final.

"W-who?" Tonks eyes had glistened up with tears, and her face had become extremely sober, looking hardly recognizable.

Remus was silent for a long time, then took a slow, rattling breath and spoke, "Sirius."

Tonks let out a wail, and leaned forward, crying loudly into her hands. Remus stepped forward and draped his arms around her.

Tonks quickly accepted the hug, rapping her arms around his neck. She sniffed loudly, grabbing hold of his t-shirt. They stayed, Tonks sobbing hysterically; Remus looking blankly onto the wall opposite him, feeling nothing, for near an hour, before Tonks lifted her head and whispered hoarsely into his ear, "I'm glad it wasn't you."

"What?" Remus broke the embrace apart, backing off, looking once more into her deep blue eyes.

"I mean, I love - loved - Sirius…he's my cousin, you know…but…I'll survive. I know I will. It's just…if you…if you died instead of him, I don't think I would be able to take it."

Remus was dumbstruck. Nymphadora not being able to live without him? Could she…?

No, Remus shook off the thought immediately.

She just values you as a friend, he told himself sternly. Just as you value her as one.

"Me," he said quietly, almost whispering, as he studied her expression.

Tonks nodded, and snuggled up to him once more.

Remus sighed and decided to let the matter lie at that. Though, he couldn't help but feel a slight surge of joy at her words.

And then he thought, could he live without her?

A/N: I know, I know, it was short. But I think it was really necessary. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure the next chapter is longer!

Windedspirit: Yet another mention! o0! Thank-you sooo much for the reviews. Wow. I can't wait 4 ur fan fic, lol. Yeah, I wanted Remus to be normal during his transformation, and it does say his mind stays normal (in POA) with the Wolfsbane potion...but hmm.I just love him too much, hehe. I know! Tonks and Remus...hehe! I had to get a kiss in there. Actually, I named the chapter before I wrote it (stupid, I know) so I had to make it work. I was gonna make her kiss Bill, but (again) I love Remus too much. I'm glad you enjoyed that. And as for another kiss between those two...well, I'm not gonna tell u that. Lol. Thank-you! I'm so glad u think this qualifies as a good romance story! I hope u liked this (yet another) chapter!

smash: Thank-you! Yeah, but I think Remus would be like that. He has such low self-confidence that he thinks it impossible that someone like Tonks (anyone for that matter) would fall for him.

GreenTea&Honey: Thanks! Hehe, I'm glad you think that...

BexyLou: Thank-you, I hope you liked this chapter...)