(The camera panned around the arena zooming in at all the fans in their usual WWE garb. Also among the crowd were people holding signs supporting and slandering some of the WWE's best. The fireworks eventually went off signifying that Raw had officially began. The camera then focused on Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.)
JR: Hello folks and welcome to another episode of Monday Night Raw, and man tonight is going to be an interesting night.
KING: That's right JR; Survivor Series is this Sunday, John Cena vs. The Undertaker Buried Alive, Cena has never wrestled in a match like that.
JR: Undertaker is one demonic presence, but I'm sure that John Cena can and will overcome The Undertaker and keep that WWE Championship.
NO CHANCE THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
JR: And here comes Vince McMahon, what in the hell does he want now.
KING: Careful JR.
(From the stage area, a hearse came driving slowly down the ramp.)
JR: What in the hell is a hearse doing here?
(As the hearse stopped only inches from the ring, it was revealed that the driver was none other than Vince McMahon who had his usual cynical smile. The crowd immediately booed, Vince stepping out of the hearse as he strutted out towards the back of the hearse opening up the door pulling out a casket.)
JR: This man is sick!
(Vince then pulled the casket out of the hearse and closer to the ring as he then walked up the ring steps stepping into the ring where he grabbed a microphone.)
MCMAHON: This Sunday, this Sunday at Survivor Series marks the death of John Cena!
(The crowd began booing and chanting Cena's name.)
MCMAHON: His thuggish presence, his horrid rapping, and his lack of respect will soon disappear from the RAW locker rooms. That's right, Cena will be Buried Alive!
(The fans booed louder.)
KING: McMahon is serious.
MCMAHON: Boo all you want, I could give a damn. Cena is going to die!
(The camera panned to the fans as they continued to boo.)
MCMAHON: And I know I'm going to hell, actually, I'm glad I'm going to hell, because knowing Cena will be there too puts a big smile on my face.
JR: How could he say something like that?
MCMAHON: And I'll tell you what, you guys want to boo me then how about this? There will be no Main Event tonight!
JR: Is he serious!
MCMAHON: Because tonight, I've had Cena barred from the arena, because you know why? Because we're having a funeral.
JR: Is he serious?
KING: He seems serious!
MCMAHON: In this very ring tonight, a funeral in the honor of John Cena will be held.
JR: This has got to stop.
MCMAHON: And this funeral is going to feature last words from the likes of Christian, Jindrak, Kurt Angle, and me. Taker would've liked to join us, however I gave him another night off.
(The crowd then seemed shock unable to believe there was going to be a funeral.)
MCMAHON: But for the rest of the night, we're going to have an open casket service.
NO CHANCE THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
(Vince McMahon then slid out of the ring walking to the casket to open it up revealing a John Cena Stand Cut-Out lying in the casket. Vince then closed his eyes and preyed as he walked up the ramp.)
JR: So tonight apparently, we're going to have a damn funeral. Just let me ask this King, what in the hell is wrong with Vince McMahon?
KING: I have no idea JR, but Cena has driven McMahon absolutely crazy, what do you think is running through Cena's mind watching this at home?
JR: This is sick, McMahon is taking things way too far now, that's all there is to it.
(Joy Giovanni's music hit as the new Women's Champion came out with a tiara and a scepter.)
KING: Oh man JR, look at Queen Giovanni.
JR: Oh please King, she cheated to beat Trish Stratus last week.
(Joy Giovanni then stepped into the ring grabbing a mic.)
GIOVANNI: Last week I defeated Trish Stratus in my first ever Women's Title match fair and square.
JR: Are you kidding me? You hit her with the title belt.
GIOVANNI: That alone proves that I, Joy Giovanni, am the Queen of all Divas.
(The fans began to boo.)
GIOVANNI: Go ahead and boo me, because this is the closest you'll ever get to royalty.
JR: Talk about egos.
KING: Quiet JR, the Queen is talking.
GIOVANNI: So tonight, Hemme and Lita. It doesn't matter who wins your little match, because you'll never be as rich, as powerful, and as good as me.
(Giovanni then stepped to the ropes and turned around demanding for the ref to hold the ropes down for her. The ref ran to ropes and pushed them down Giovanni stepping out of the ring walking up the ramp. She then headed towards the announce table.)
KING: Uh-oh, she's coming up her.
(King then stood up and pulled the extra chair out for her so she could sit. He then placed a headset on her head.)
GIOVANNI: Thanks Jerry.
KING: You're welcome Joy, speaking of which, Joy thank about it, Jerry the King Lawler Joy the Queen Giovanni. That works.
JR: Oh please.
KING: Quiet JR, royalty's talking.
GIOVANNI: Oh it's ok King, I'd expect something like that to come out of someone who's part of the middle class.
(Christy then came out, as the first match of the night was about to get underway.)
MATCH 1-Non Title-Singles
Christy Hemme vs. Lita
Winner: Christy Hemme
Results: During the match, JR kept heckling Joy for saying she was the Queen of Divas yet lost the Diva Search to Christy. This seemed to rub Joy the wrong way as he headed to the ring and clocked Christy with the scepter calling for a disqualification.
(Joy then held the Women's Championship as she made her way backstage.)
JR: Man what has gotten into Joy?
(The camera then panned backstage where Triple H stepped into Bischoff's office.)
HHH: So uhh Bischoff, I guess since HBK and Edge are no longer a part of Raw that makes me the official Number One Contender right?
BISCHOFF: Not so fast "Trips" believe me; you're still going to be in a Number One Contenders match at Survivor Series.
HHH: Oh yeah? Against who?
(Triple H said this with such a challenging tone.)
BISCHOFF: Wait a minute just who in the hell do you think you are? You know what, you just earned yourself a match with William Regal.
HHH: You don't know who, you have nothing Bischoff you should just give me the Number One Contender spot.
BISCHOFF: Your match is waiting Hunter; I wouldn't want a DQ to show up on the records book.
(Triple H then got in the face of Bischoff quickly turning away to go out to the ring readying for his match.)
JR: Well looks like we have an unplanned Triple H versus William Regal match coming up.
IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
(Triple H then came out on stage, doing his usual taunts.)
KING: Look at The Game JR, such physique.
(When Triple H walked down the ramp, he looked at the open casket and then poured some water onto the Cut-Out Cena.)
JR: Look at the disrespect.
(Regal soon slid out of the ring and began nailing Triple H with some hard rights tossing him into the ring.)
MATCH 2-Non Title-Singles
William Regal vs. Triple H
Winner: Triple H
Results: It was obvious that Triple H was pissed off. Probably due to the fact that not only was he still scheduled for a Survivor Series match, but the fact that William Regal decided to get head start on him. Triple H basically annihilated Regal, he tossed him into the steel steps, busted him open and then finally decided to nail the Pedigree and get the win. He wasn't even done after that however as he continued to beat the living hell out of Regal.
KING: The Cerebral Assassin is ticked off JR.
JR: Ticked off is an understatement, did you see what he just did to William Regal?
(Triple H continued up the ramp pointing at himself as he began complaining that he should be the Number One Contender.)
JR: Man Triple H is one sick SOB.
(The camera then panned backstage where Flair and Big Show were talking.)
BIG SHOW: Can you believe Carlito and Snitsky challenged us to No Disqualification Tornado Tag?
FLAIR: Tell me about it, like last week wasn't enough.
BIG SHOW: We are going to kill these guys before we even get to Survivor Series.
FLAIR: Speaking of which, who is our third partner?
(Big Show smiled.)
BIG SHOW: It's a surprise.
FLAIR: Come on man let me know.
BIG SHOW: Let's just say that big things come in small packages…
(Flair and Big Show then smirked as the camera then panned back to the ring.)
I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO BE COOL
(Snitsky and Carlito then came out on stage and walked down the ramp heading into the ring, Carlito tossing his apple up and down in the air.)
KING: What did Big Show mean about small packages?
JR: It means we're in store for one hell of a Survivor Series, that's what it means.
WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW
(The Big Show then came out to heavy ovation as he stood tall at the stage.)
WOOOO!
(Ric Flair then patted Big Show on the back as the two headed towards the ring, the Tornado Tag beginning.)
MATCH 3-Non Title-Tornado Tag
Carlito & Gene Snitsky vs. Big Show and Ric Flair
Winner: Carlito & Gene Snitsky
Results: The match began with Big Show dominating Carlito on the outside, Snitsky and Flair battling it out inside the ring. At some point in the match, Snitsky ran at Big Show with a chair and caught a big boot. Big Show also had Carlito set up for the Show Stopper when out of no where the arena turned red and the ring posts lit up with flames as the Big Red Machine went to the ring. He first delivered a big boot to Ric Flair and then began to nail Show with some hard rights and then eventually lifted the big man up for a Chokeslam. He then turned around and Chokeslammed Ric Flair as Carlito crawled to Show covering him for the three count.
JR: Did you see that Chokeslam?
KING: What's the Big Red Machine doing out here?
(Carlito then stood up raising his arm as he then grabbed a microphone.)
CARLITO: Allow me to introduce you to my last pick. The Big Red Machine Kane!
(Kane then lifted his arms and dropped them the flames going off in the arena again.)
KING: Well it looks like Team Carlito is complete too. I really doubt Big Show's surprise partner will stand a chance against Kane.
JR: That might be true, Kane is one fearsome monster. Wait a minute we have something going on backstage!
(The camera then panned backstage where Big Nasty and Tajiri were exchanging punches.)
KING: Oh man, it looks like the hardcore match has already started.
MATCH 4-Non Title-Hardcore
Big Nasty vs. Tajiri
Winner: Big Nasty
Results: The match eventually came to the ring where Tajiri continued to use his quick feet to keep Big Nasty down. He then took a chair to Big Nasty's back, and went for the pin, but Nasty kicked out. Nasty would not stay down for nothing as Tajiri continued to find out the Hardcore Fiend's weakness. Tajiri nailed him in the head with a chair and then went to the top rope, but Nasty ran to the corner lifting Tajiri as he then twisted him and dropped him on his head nailing the Big Shot getting the 3 count.
(Big Nasty then grabbed a microphone.)
NASTY: Mick, last week I challenged you at Survivor Series, but you didn't give me an answer. I didn't hear from you at all last week. Mick maybe you're not understanding, I want to destroy the Hardcore Legend!
(Mick Foley then came rushing out from the crowd as he and Nasty began exchanging punches, the fans going wild.)
JR: Here we go!
(Mick Foley then lifted up the chair and clocked Big Nasty not once, not twice, but three times.)
JR: He's going to town on Nasty's head!
(Foley then whipped Big Nasty into the turnbuckle as Foley stepped over to him and set him up for the Tree of Woe, he then lifted up the chair and placed it in front of Nasty's face.)
KING: What's he doing now JR!
JR: Only god knows!
(Foley then backed up and ran at the upside down Nasty baseball sliding right into the chair.)
JR: OH MAN!
(HOLY $& HOLY $& HOLY $&)
(Big Nasty flopped from the turnbuckle and slowly sunk out of the ring falling to the ground as Mick Foley picked up a microphone.)
FOLEY: Big Nasty, you want to destroy the Hardcore Legend? Then I suggest at Survivor Series, you find every weapon as possible and bring it to the ring, because Sunday, things will get hardcore!
(FOLEY FOLEY FOLEY)
FOLEY: I'm going home tonight, and I'm going to pull that Hardcore Championship off my mantle, because on Sunday night. The title is going back on the line!
JR: A Hardcore title match!
KING: He can't do that, he's not General Manager!
(Foley then dropped the mic and left the ring, as the camera panned backstage where Vince McMahon was strutting towards the stage.)
KING: And here we go JR, the John Cena funeral.
(When the camera panned back to the ring, the ropes that were face towards the entrance ramp were removed, and a couple of ring crew members then grabbed the casket, closing the top pulling it inside of the ring.)
JR: This is seriously happening, there is honestly something wrong with Vince McMahon.
NO CHANCE, THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE GOT!
(Vince McMahon then came out onstage followed by a set of boos as he strutted down the ramp. He then went up the stairs that were placed at the opened ring as he stepped in, slowly moving to the podium that was also set up, the crowd still booing.)
KING: I wish these people would shut up; they need to stop disrespecting the boss.
MCMAHON: We have been gathered here tonight, in honor of a recently deceased superstar, John Cena.
(The crowd began booing louder.)
MCMAHON: John Cena was always remembered for getting the living hell beaten out of him by The Undertaker!
JR: This has to stop.
MCMAHON: He was the most disrespectful son of a bitch that I Vincent Kennedy McMahon has ever dealt with.
(The camera panned to the crowd who began chanting "a-hole.")
MCMAHON: But I won't hold personal grudges tonight, no you see, John Cena was an individual who lacked character. He lacked so much character in fact that he would attack and slander his boss week in and week out.
JR: You gotta be kidding me.
MCMAHON: And he paid for it too. I'm glad he's dead, I'm glad I don't have to deal with him any longer, he doesn't deserve to live!
JR: Will someone get out here and get McMahon out of that damn ring?
MCMAHON: But tonight isn't about me no, it's about John Cena, and other superstars who have something on their mind. So without further delay, allow me to introduce the SmackDown! Tag Team Champions, Mark Jindrak and Christian!
(Both superstars came out in tuxedo's and stepped into the ring, both of them shaking hands with McMahon as Jindrak stood up to the podium first.)
JINDRAK: Christian and I were both very unfortunate to have John Cena on our brand for quite some time.
(Christian nodded.)
JINDRAK: And let me just say that if anyone deserved to go, it had to be John Cena!
(Jindrak then looked down and placed his hands on his face as if he were going to cry.)
KING: He's breaking down JR.
JR: Oh please….
(Jindrak then stepped back from the podium as Christian stepped up.)
CHRISTIAN: John Cena, that Marky Mark, Eminem wanna be rapper, he always showed disrespect in the locker rooms. He was always causing trouble; he never really had any friends in the SmackDown! locker room, and I doubt he does here on RAW.
KING: It's true JR.
CHRISTIAN: He never deserved that title, and I'm glad that he died, so now that a real champion like The Undertaker can actually get the respect he deserves.
(Christian then moved from the podium as McMahon then stepped up.)
MCMAHON: As you can see, these two are "devastated" at the loss of John Cena, but now it's time to bring out someone who's going to miss Cena more than any of us in this ring, a guy that cared for Cena more than anyone, Kurt Angle!
(Kurt Angle also clad in a tuxedo came out as he stepped into the ring. He then stepped up to the podium.)
ANGLE: Thanks Vince. Last week, I had the honor of facing John Cena one on one in this very ring. Let me tell you, that punk is lucky he died before I could a rematch!
(The crowd booed.)
ANGLE: Cena is a coward! He was afraid to face me again so he goes off and dies!
JR: Angle has to be kidding.
KING: Angle does have a point JR.
ANGLE: Cena you son of a bitch! I'm glad you're dead, because now I don't have to worry about hearing you murder the English language with your rap.
(Kurt Angle then moved from the podium as Vince McMahon stepped up on the podium again.)
MCMAHON: At this time we're going to play a tribute video in honor of John Cena.
(The song "Hurt" by Johnny Cash played as the video showed Cena first winning the title from JBL, it then continued to show some of his other victories when it quickly went to him getting beat by the Undertaker for the title at the SmackDown! two weeks before Thanksgiving Bash. The video then went on to the Raw after Thanksgiving Bash where The Undertaker beat the hell out of Cena. It then went on to show some of The Undertaker's infamous Buried Alive Matches and with a busted up John Cena with the words "Rest in Peace John Cena" showing up over his face.)
JR: This is absolutely crazy; I can't believe Vince is actually going through with this.
MCMAHON: And now we're going to have a moment of silence. So if we could all bow our heads.
(The ring grew quiet as the four of them bowed their heads and closed their eyes.)
YOUR TIME IS UP MY TIME IS NOW!
(The crowd erupted as the WWE Champion rushed into the ring where he immediately Clotheslined Kurt Angle and then rushed at Christian and Jindrak hitting them with some hard lefts and rights. Cena then tossed Jindrak out of the ring and punched Christian nailing an F-U.)
JR: Did you hear the impact!
(Cena then turned around and pointed at McMahon as he stepped up towards him, McMahon backing up into the turnbuckle.)
JR: There's no where to run now!
(The casket then flung open as the Undertaker sat up. He then stepped out of the casket where he walked to Cena hitting him with his own rights and lefts. Taker then tossed Cena into the ropes and nailed a big boot.)
JR: Dear god! Was he in that casket the whole time?
KING: There's no way JR, the casket was open for the whole night!
(Undertaker continued to pound on Cena where he eventually tossed the champion into the casket. Vince McMahon stood up as he walked over to Cena slapping him while he was in the casket. Undertaker then stepped up to the podium.)
UNDERTAKER: Cena, at Survivor Series, you will officially Rest in Peace!
(The Undertaker's music then came on as The Undertaker, Vince McMahon, The Devil's Advocate, and Kurt Angle headed up the ramp. The camera then zoomed to the casket where a bloody Cena was laid out.)
JR: Survivor Series this Sunday, Cena and Taker, Buried Alive! This is going to be one hell of a Pay Per View.
(Raw then went off the air.)