Disclaimer: I. Own. Nothing.
A/N: I know took longer than I usually do to post, and this isn't even the best of chapters, but I was working on a later chapter. Enjoy!
Also, the song that Tonks is singing in this chapter is 'Kiss Me' by Sixpence None The Richer. It's an awesome song and I thought it fit in nicely.
Also (again), the long part in Italics is a flashback. I just didn't want to do "Flashback" and "End of Flashback".
Chapter Eleven: Memories and A Bittersweet Confession
A heavy fog surrounded the old mansion, making it almost disappear into the freezing night air. Everything was silent, even the generally loud and rowdy neighbors were restraining from their usual non-stop partying. It was as if the world knew something was going to happen, and were slowly preparing for it.
A loud 'pop' broke the eerie quiet, and a young woman with shoulder length mousy brown hair stumbled out of nowhere, trying half-heartedly to regain her balance.
She sighed and started towards the house, rubbing her arms with her hands nervously.
The young woman stopped at the door and drew a long breath, closing her eyes as she did so. She grabbed the doorknob quickly and turned, slipping inside and closing the door firmly behind her.
"It's just the same as we left it," murmured Tonks, almost sadly, and started up the stairs.
She had involuntarily volunteered to be part of Dumbledore's 'clean up crew' and go try to tidy up Grimmauld Place before the rest of the Order moved in. She wasn't even sure what had happened; one minute she dozing off into dreamland, the next she heard Albus Dumbledore's quiet, yet surprising booming, voice mention her name.
"So it's decided then," Dumbledore had said gleefully, "Nymphadora and Remus will go early tomorrow and clean up Grimmauld Place. Excellent!"
Tonks jumped up in her seat, looking wildly around at the members of the Order.
Oh, no, this was not happening. Remus and her in Grimmauld Place, alone, for almost a whole day? Great. Just Perfect. More rejection.
Maybe you'll be finally able to convince him, said a quiet voice in her head.
Tonks sighed, and laid her head on her forehead. Yeah, right, she thought sadly. You know, maybe he doesn't love me…maybe I should just -
"Er, Tonks?" came Molly Weasleys nervous voice.
Tonks started. "Yes, yes, what?"
She looked around at all the faces looking with confusion at her. She realized she had been not only having a mental fight with herself, but a physical one at that.
Tonks blushed. "Oh, I'm, er, fine," she assured them, though everyone still looked quite concerned. "Really."
Tonks groaned at this memory, and started up the stairs quickly.
"Remus?" she called quietly, when she reached the landing.
Nothing.
"Remus?" she said again, this time a bit louder.
Nothing.
"REMUS!"
OK, so he wasn't here yet, she thought miserably. He's probably trying to stay away for as long as possible. He probably hates me.
Her thoughts brought a lump to her throat. What if he really does hate me? Tonks thought, I don't know if I could live knowing that…
She stepped into her old room, and gasped. She knew now what Dumbledore had meant by Kreacher making 'a bit of a mess', though that was most definitely an understatement.
The room had been shredded to bits. The tapestries were ripped into two, the pillows and blankets torn apart, leaving bits of cotton and wool sprawled everywhere. The couch was utterly dilapidated and the once-elegant four-poster bed had deep scratch and, surprisingly, bite marks in it.
Tonks sighed and took out her wand. It took her, in all, about four hours to clean it all up. Kreacher had certainly put a lot of effort in tearing the room apart.
Tonks slumped against the far wall, totally exhausted. It was odd, Remus still wasn't here yet. She could understand being maybe an hour or so late, but four hours, Merlin, he must really…
Stop, she told herself. Stop thinking about him. Just stop. For everyone's sake…
But I can't…
Tonks closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That always seemed to calm her. She looked beside her and spotted an old muggle CD player. She managed a grin as she turned to face it. Arthur had gotten her quite hooked on it, she thought as she put on a pair of headphones.
Remember that time, with Remus, when you tripped and –
Tonks shook off the memory immediately. No more thinking about Remus.
She reached over and turned it on to the radio, and settled back on to the wall.
Right now, a radio host was talking about the weather, or something boring like that.
Get on with it, she thought.
Finally, a song came on, and Tonks listened intently, trying to figure out what it was before -
Oh, Merlin, not this song.
Tonks felt tears come to her eyes and she shut them tightly.
"So kiss me," she sang quietly, and let her emotions, memories and thoughts take over, "Beneath the milky twilight. Lead me out on the moonlit floor. Lift your open hand. Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling…"
Tonks choked on the last line, unable to go on. It was too much. She sub consciously felt a tear fall down her cheek before she totally collapsed in sobs.
He doesn't love me…she thought, still crying hard. Why can't he just love me?
She was crying so hard, and was absorbed so much in her own thoughts she barely felt a pair of strong arms rap themselves around her, hugging her tight.
She inhaled the person's scent, and even through her tears she knew who this was.
He's come, she thought. Maybe he doesn't hate me.
She let out a wail, and dug farther into the man's arms, so that his scent surrounded her.
She took a deep breath and managed to choke out, "I love you Remus."
The man shifted somewhat uncomfortably, but didn't break away. There was a long pause before he answered, "I love you too, Nymphadora."
With that he broke off the hug, stood up, and left.
But Tonks could only register two things in her mind.
He loves me, she thought happily, her heart dancing.
And he called me Nymphadora.
----
Remus stood outside Grimmauld Place, his whole body shaking, not from the cold, but from what had just occurred.
He had told Tonks he loved her.
How daft can I be? He thought angrily. Now, she'll never give up on me. Never. I'll not have a moment's peace.
That's what you want.
Why would I want that? He retorted back to himself.
Because you love her.
That doesn't make any sense!
Remus rapped his arms around himself, which helped the shaking a bit. He felt himself grow calm, and his anger dampen.
He looked wearily up at the half-full moon beginning to appear, and sighed.
She had looked so terrible in there, he thought uneasily. Did I really cause all of that?
He put a hand to his forehead, and then drew it back through his grey-brown hair.
Remus turned quickly on his heel, and Apparated, just barely missing a hysterical Tonks, who came running out immediately after, tears still running down her pale face.
----
A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!
deadgirlythings: Hehe me too. Glad you enjoyed it.
Windedspirit: Lol! Thanks, I really appreciate that! Hehe, I KNOW he is. But he's a sweet one (if thats possible...?). Hehe, Tonks will bring him down...kinda. There is definately alot of her telling him (and yelling it too!) that he's being an idiot. Thanks SO muchfor the review, keep it up! Hope you liked this chapter.
PiaMcKinnon: Ohh, really? Don't. Or do. Doesn't really matter because just remember she DOES eventually get together with him -sigh-.That is a bit ironic, isn't it? Hehe, thanks for the review!
FieryPhoenix21: Thanks! Glad to know its not tooo corny...:( Don't worry, it'll get happier:):)
BexyLou: Hehe, I know. But I gotta stick with canon...so he's gonna be an idiot. Oh well. Alls well that ends well. Kinda. Thanks for the review!
smash: Thanks, wow I'm glad you like it so much! I hope you liked this chapter! Ooh, and in the next one, you learn why she loves him calling her that so much! Hehe.