Disclaimer: The characters of Inuyasha are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, but this story belongs to me

Chapter Thirteen: Just The Way You Are

Day Twenty – Two

There are some days I look at Mikomi and think about how great it would be to have a baby of my own. I can live without sleep, right? Besides, I wouldn't be doing it all alone. This assignment has shown me that I can do it. I can raise a baby. I can protect it from hunger and cold and demon attacks. Ha ha, that was just a figure of speech. The demon thing I mean.

Then there are days when I think that there is no way I want to be responsible for another life. How scary is it that from the moment of conception every single decision I make, including what I eat, is going to affect my child? What if I mess the kid up and it grows up to be an ax murderer? What if I fail to protect it? What if I protect it too much and it never learns to fight and be strong on its own?

What if I do end up being alone? Any sleep I've had has been through the grace of the people around me who care about me. But what if something happens and I can't reach them anymore and they can't reach me?

Thanks a heap for making me one big mass of insecurity. I'm barely hanging on to my sanity by a thread.

Kagome tapped her pencil on the paper as she glanced over at her companion sleeping on her bed. Considering all the emotional turmoil she'd been through, it just didn't seem fair that he could snooze so peacefully.

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"You're MEAN! I don't know how Inuyasha can STAND you!" screamed Souta as he slammed the door.

It wasn't the first time her brother yelled that particular phrase at her whenever she booted him out of the room.

Earlier Inuyasha had taken Mikomi for a run so that she could concentrate on her homework. In fact, he had watched her all day so that she could even go to school. Okay, so he watched her from a tree in the school yard while growling at some of her classmates, but she still went to class so she was happy.

Once she got home she got to work on her assignments so they could go back home to the feudal era. Her mother promised to take the completed work to school for her and drop it off. It had surprised her when Inuyasha offered to take the baby so she could work, though she was grateful. But while she was trying to concentrate on her homework Souta kept coming in to pester her. Once again she lost her temper and yelled at him to get out of her room and leave her alone. Fighting with her little brother was normal.

But this time it felt different. Maybe it was because the project had started making her think about having a family of her own, and there was no one else she could imagine except for Inuyasha. They were tied together as traveling companions because they had to hunt the jewel. But what would happen when it is completed?

Long ago she told him that she would stay with him for as long as he let her. At the time he didn't seem to mind, had even held her hand as they walked towards the village. Did he think she meant that she'd stay with him for only as long as they were searching for the jewel?

It wouldn't be long until he wouldn't need her. Then what? Would he make her go home? Would he go with Kikyo?

Kagome dropped her forehead onto her open book, her math homework forgotten.

Kikyo. I bet she never fought with him or yelled at him or called him an idiot. How does he stand to be with me? Am I really an ogre? She cringed as she thought about how she yelled at him and said the "s" word just last night for something that was really stupid, she couldn't even remember what it was. I am an ogre. I really am. What is wrong with me?

The assignment was making her ask the question 'what if?' on a daily basis. What if Mikomi really was my baby? What if Inuyasha and I had a family of our own? What if … Kagome shook her head. There's no way. She chewed on the eraser of her pencil. Why would he want to be with someone like me?

There was no doubt about it. When the jewel is complete it only made sense that Inuyasha would wish to be with Kikyo. It was stupid to think anything different. Sure he had promised to stay a half demon for her, that that had been long ago. How many times had she sat him since then? Besides, he did say "for a little while longer". He never promised her forever.

Forever is promised to someone else.

"Oi, wench, why are you cryin'?"

Startled Kagome turned towards the window. There he sat crouched on her window sill, puppy ears and all. Mikomi was tucked safely in the cradle of his arms. The thought if it being the baby they would never have brought even more tears flooding down her face.

"I'm not crying."

Inuyasha glared at her as he stood up and walked towards her, dropping the doll on the bed on his way. He ran a clawed finger down her wet cheek. "No? Then what's all this salt water?"

Furiously Kagome rubbed her eyes and cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"What's wrong?" Did he have to sound so concerned? It just made her heart ache worse.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Don't lie to me, Kagome."

"Leave it alone, Inuyasha."

"Tell me."

"No."

"TELL ME!" he roared.

Glaring at him she jumped to her feet with her hands in fists, she opened her mouth to scream the word. But it died on her lips. She was horrified that she almost said it. Why? Why was I even going to say it? Because he was concerned? Ashamed she turned away from him. It hurt to see him bracing himself for impact.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Strong hands gripped her firmly and turned her around slowly. Golden eyes were stern and serious. And very worried. He lifted her up so that she her feet dangled off the floor and she was nose to nose with him.

He cursed softly. "Tell me, Kagome. You have to tell me. What's wrong?"

The desperation in his voice tore at her heart. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. It was cowardly and childish. He deserved better than a whispered apology and vague answers.

"Did Kikyo ever yell at you?" It wasn't what she meant to say at all. Usually she tried to never mention the dead miko's name. Kagome realized that Inuyasha didn't either. Yet another thing he protected her from while she seemed determined to make him miserable with her impression of a screaming banshee. How can he not hate me?

Instantly Inuyasha set her back on the floor, but he didn't let her go. "What are you talking about?"

"Did she ever yell at you?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Yes. Once."

"Once?"

"When she thought I'd betrayed her and she was shooting an arrow into my heart."

Kagome almost laughed. The ONLY time Kikyo had yelled at him was when she was pinning him to the tree. I, on the other hand, yelled at him more times on that first day when we met than the entire time he knew Kikyo. She didn't know that she had voiced that out loud, so it startled her when Inuyasha spoke.

"So what?"

"Huh?"

He glared at her. "So what if you yelled at me?"

Suddenly the misery seemed to double. He is so used to me yelling at him that he doesn't think anything of it.

"Because I shouldn't be yelling at you and saying s-i-t all the time. It's wrong. It's mean. I'm mean." She ignored the tears streaking down her face again. "I'm so so sorry, Inuyasha."

Red clad arms pulled her close and wrapped around her. She tried to pull away again, but he wouldn't let her. He held her while she cried and struggled. He held her as she sobbed out more apologies. Somewhere in her babbles she voiced all of her fears. She didn't want him to leave with Kikyo. She didn't want him to hate her. She didn't want to be an ogre. She might have even mentioned that she loved him, but she wasn't sure. She hoped she didn't let that slip.

Eventually sanity returned to her and her mouth snapped shut and her sobbing turned to sniffles. After a moment Inuyasha tightened his hold on her, then pushed her back to arms length.

"What are you, a moron?"

Okay, so maybe comforting a crying woman wasn't quite his forte. It did, however, stop the tears.

"Huh?"

"You yell at me, I yell at you. It's what we do." He shrugged. "You yell, but you aren't mean. Have you ever said anything to hurt me on purpose?" He didn't give her time to answer. "No. You don't. You're not an ogre, Kagome. Stop being an idiot."

He pulled her over to the bed and forced her to sit down. He made sure that he didn't squish the doll as he sat next to her.

"But… Kikyo would never have…"

The glare he gave her was heated. "Never what? Accept me for who I am? Trust me? Love me?" He blushed, but didn't look away. "No, she wouldn't. She wanted me human. How could she love a hanyou? An abomination?"

Fire returned to Kagome's eyes as she returned his glare and clutched at his silver hair and brought his face close to hers. "You are NOT an abomination!"

The dog demon smirked, but didn't try to pry her hands away from his hair. "Do you remember the night when Kaguya took you to her castle?"

Kagome smiled. "How could I forget?" She remembered the arrow piercing her back as she tried to protect her protector. She remembered being held captive while Kaguya attempted to steal Inuyasha's human side in her mirror. But most of all, Kagome remembered the kiss. Her cheeks turned pink.

"Keh," Inuyasha said sporting a blush of his own. "Before THAT, wench. Remember when we sat by the campfire? What did you tell me?"

Kagome let go of his hair and bit her lip as she thought back to that evening. She and Inuyasha were sitting by the fire. She had asked him if he was going to wish to turn into a full demon. And she told him…

"I like you the way you are."

Inuyasha nodded. "You said you liked me the way that I was. You didn't want me to change."

"You're perfect the way you are."

He couldn't help but smile. Nudging her hand with his own he waited for Kagome to hold it. He wasn't disappointed as their fingers intertwined.

"So are you. I like you just the way you are, Kagome."

She blinked rapidly in surprise. "Really?"

"Quit fishin' for more compliments, wench." He let her rest her head against his shoulder as he looked away.

He likes me the way I am. She grinned and squeezed his hand tightly. Maybe… maybe there is a chance after all. She looked down at Mikomi and allowed herself to dream.

"What happened anyhow?" he asked.

Kagome explained about her brother's comment. Inuyasha growled, tugged his hand away from hers, and disappeared from her room. She heard him roar out her brother's name and stomp down the hall to find him. Voices were raised.

By the time she decided that she should go save her little brother the voices quieted. Creeping out her door she tiptoed down towards Souta's room. The voices were muffled. When she heard footsteps coming back to the door she dashed for her room. She knew Inuyasha would know she had been spying thanks to his sensitive nose and cute puppy dog ears, but she would prefer that her brother didn't know. Quickly she snatched up the doll and began bouncing her on her knee.

When Inuyasha came back in her room she was trying to look like she had spent the entire time playing with the baby.

"Have a nice talk?" she asked without looking up.

"Yeah, he explained things to me."

Explained things? Kagome turned to look at the blushing hanyou. "Just what exactly did Souta explain to you?"

"He said you were just PMS-ing, so it's okay."

"What?"

Inuyasha looked away from her. "He says it makes you irritable and irrational."

"WHAT?"

He was beginning to look a little nervous now instead of embarrassed. "He said it turns you crazy for a few days… but that it was normal..."

"WHAAAAT?"

When Inuyasha glanced at her the miko was practically engulfed in flames of rage. "Uh… something about woman cycles and stuff… like your mom said about havin' pups and… uh… with the stuff… and…body changes… hormones… uh…" Frantically he looked for an escape route. "Souta said you go… um…"

"SIT!"

She screamed, "SOUTA, YOU ARE SO DEAD!" She turned back to the hanyou face down on the floor and twitching. "SIT SIT SIT!"

Then she threw open her door to find her younger brother and explain a few things to him.

Painfully.

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I worry a lot about the future. I always have. Unfortunately I found that sleep deprivation makes people think and do stupid things. You end up saying things you didn't really want to say. Or at least you didn't want anyone to hear you say, which is practically the same thing.

Plus it makes you really cranky. And the headaches!

Since the rest of the school knows we're doing this project you would think that they would cut down on the assignments a little.

We, the students, suspect that you, the teachers, have gotten together to torture us. We figure that you are trying to break our wills until we succumb to your demands. Can't you just tell us what your demands are? Wouldn't that be easier and less sadistic than this torture?

If we were cute fuzzy animals instead of high school students the ASPCA or PETA would shut you down so fast your head would spin.

Kagome Higurashi