Disclaimer-We own nothing you even vaguely recognize, including but not limited to JRR Tolkien's creations, the necromancy bells and the Abhorsen trilogy (who belong to Garth Nix), and the Keltiad to Patricia Kenneally-Morrison. Nor do we own the PPC, we just work there. The 'Sue and her story belong to LifeMistressGreenleaf.

Chapter 4

The transition to chapter four was a smooth one, and immediately one of the mini-Balrogs caught Myth's eye. "Erond? Oh, he's so cute! Can we keep him? Please?"

"You'd have to check the list, but probably." Taking a glance at The Words and decided the action wasn't nearly interesting enough to pay attention to, Isabel jotted down some more charges for their ever-growing list and took out her CD player. She turned to Myth and said, "You can watch if you want, I think I got all the charges. The only really interesting thing is Merry and Pippin each having only one arm, but... yeah." With that, she slipped on her headphones, pressed 'Play', and began singing softly to herself in Japanese.

"Tasogare no naka ukabu kage, itsuka mita kono koukei…"

"Over one million years story?" Myth asked, amused by the giant book that was taller than the 'Sue.

Taking off her headphones, Isabel was about to ask her to repeat herself when she was struck dumb by the interaction between Frodo and Megan taking place in front of her.

"...she's stealing Arwen's bit, who stole Glorfindel's? I keep trying to make sense of this fic, but my brain cells keep committing
suicide."

"no, Arwen brought him... at least, that's what it says back in chapter two, which we would have read if someone hadn't died because they rang a bell they were told not to..."

Out came the Fire Starting Glare of Extreme Huffiness. "Ha. Ha. Ha. See me laugh." She shook her head and turned back to the story and addressed the 'Sue, saying, "I have a feeling that Sam what, dear? You're forgetting an important part of that sentence."

"Huh?"

"Megan said to Frodo, 'I have a feeling that Sam.' I was merely making fun of her." Isabel nodded.

"Oh… ok." Myth reached into her bag and, after some rummaging around, pulled out her Atlas of Pern. She immediately engrossed herself in it, leaving Isabel to put away her CD player and pull out her copy of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". And so the two agents read, pausing occasionally to make fun of the 'Sue.

"She doesn't know Boromir but she knows Legolas? Typical fangirl…"

"Look at that line of 'dawarves'. They appear to be headed to… some sort of monument… entitled 'Stouty'. Talk about confusing your homophones… one misplaced 'to' and your whole story's out of whack."

"That is the ugliest dress I've ever seen."

Isabel was about to reply when the next line of the story made her choke on her laughter. "A fabric she'd never heard or seen before? What do your clothes generally sound like, dear?" The dress seemed to be making some sort of violin thrumming noise, sending slight vibrations up the threads.

I went over to my mirror and did a slight touch of makeup. With my comlexion I needed hardly any. I heard a knock at my door. I opened it and Elrond was standing there. " You look absolutly beautiful," he said. I blushed slightly at this and said," thanks." Elrond held out his arm, I took it , and we both went to the feast.

"Commas, commas, commas! And I'd like to know what comlexion and absolutly are." Isabel said despairingly

"She has Elrond flirting with her." Myth said with dangerous calm. "She has Elrond flirting with her. Her! As if that scrawny piece of crummy humanity could ever compare to Celebrian in any way, shape, or form! As if his mother in-law and daughter weren't the most beautiful beings on or of this earth or any other! Yes, I said Galadriel, who also happens to be the most revered being on this earth and I'm getting way off topic, aren't I?" the last part of that sentence was delivered at rapid-fire speed yet again. Apparently it was one of Myth's habits.

"Umm… yeah, you are. I assume Elrond is one of your L.O.s?"

"Why would you say that? Just because I want to remove her intestines with a dull toothpick… Yeah, he is."

Isabel slid her book back in her bag and said, "Oh joy – a feast. Well, at least Bilbo sings. Shall we accompany yon fair maiden," she pulled a wry face, "down the stairs?"

"But of course." Myth curtsied and held out her arm. Isabel took the arm with a sweeping bow and they promenaded down the stairs in mockery of the pair they followed.

Isabel's A/N: I grow to dislike this girl more and more each day.

Myth's A/N: Yes, I am an Elrond Luster :waves flag proudly, also I like the El twins and Haldir. I'm a person of varying lusts. And a person who hates sues. This one is particularly bad. I will now leave you to stare at the screen in wonder.