Disclaimer-We own nothing you even vaguely recognize, including but not limited to JRR Tolkien's creations, the necromancy bells and the Abhorsen trilogy (who belong to Garth Nix), and the Keltiad to Patricia Kenneally-Morrison. Nor do we own the PPC, we just work there. The 'Sue and her story belong to LifeMistressGreenleaf, and frankly, we're glad they're not ours. The elvish in this chapter comes from . Yamani glaives are Tamora Pierce's, but were probably based off of the Japanese naginata.

Chapter 11:

Myth struggled to remember enough Sindarin to communicate with the intimidating Elves standing before her. "Man non." She pointed to herself. She then pointed to the 'Sue. "Uacuteman. Harnoiand. Raugiel." She studied the impassive faces of her captors, hoping against all hope they understood her.

One elf replied in something that sounded moderately familiar that Myth couldn't catch. It was a good thing she was concentrating so hard on translating or she would have been no use whatsoever, that elf being Haldir.
"Ummm... Dihrena... ach... gaah! I can't remember how to say 'I beg your pardon'! We're doomed."
"Try again!" Isabel yelled from across the clearing.
"Diheno?" Myth stammered.

"Ehhm... you… pee pee cee?" Haldir managed to get out.
Both agent's jaws dropped.

"Okay, someone didn't use the neuralizer correctly! I'm lodging a complaint!" Myth screeched.
"Uhh... Myth..."
"Oh, right. Yes! I mean ... no! There's no 'yes' in my dictionary, Quenya or English! Dammit!"
"Then nod sweetie..."
"Right!" Myth nodded vigorously.

"This girl... like... before?" Haldir nodded to the Sue. "Bad, bad girl? Hurt land? Hurt mind?"
Myth nodded even more vigorously than before, clacking her teeth together.

his 'land' sounded like la-ahnd (two syllables) but you could still understand him. Unless you only spoke westron and elvish, like the elves behind him, who were looking very confused.

"We need this girl. The PPC needs her. We'll get rid of her." Myth rubbed her slightly aching jaw.

Haldir probably couldn't understand anything but 'PPC', but he got the gist. He motioned to the other elves, and they all melted back into the trees from whence they'd come, after tying up the 'Sue for Myth and Isabel.

"Well, that was considerate of them," Isabel said perkily as she glanced around the clearing, empty but for the two agents and the 'Sue.

"I'm proud of you, Myth. You didn't collapse into a puddle of goo when you saw Haldir."
"Haldir? That was Haldir?"

"Umm… yeah… You couldn't tell?"

"No! I was a bit preoccupied with keeping our throats from being slit!"

"I doubt they would have slit our throats, Myth. Riddled us with arrows, yes, but slit our throats?"

"The principle still stands!" Myth shook her head and prodded the 'Sue with her foot. "Let's take care of this one, shall we?"

"You know, that sounds real dramatic and all, but we have one portal generator between the three of us, and Diana has it. So now we have to find our way out of Lothlorien and back to Di."

"...True." Myth pondered this. She turned in a slow circle, trying to remember which direction they'd come from. She pointed in a vague direction. "Wasn't that the direction we ran from?"

"You're the one who's good at directions, Myth."

"Uh... look for footprints?"
"But there were so many people..."
"Ah, but they were elves. They can walk on snow. Do you really think they'll leave footprints?" Myth warmed to her theory.

"You have a point." Isabel, wanting to waste no time, began scanning the ground for footprints. Myth joined her, and was the one to spot them. "Here they are!" She began following them at full-speed. Isabel went, grabbed the 'Sue, and followed at a slower pace due to the weight inhibiting her motion.

Five minutes later, they emerged from the forest, tired, disheveled, and very, very sweaty.
"There you are!" Diana cried, "You took forever."

They just glared at her, and Isabel dumped the 'Sue in front of Diana. "You hush," said Isabel, wiping her forehead with her sleeve.

"Gimme the portal thing." Myth ordered, holding out her hand.

Diana handed it over, muttering, "You don't have to demand, geez," under her breath.

Myth pressed various different buttons and the glowing blue portal appeared. They shoved Ruby... Megan... whatever through with very little ceremony.
"That was kinda anticlimactic..." Isabel said, happily chomping away on an apple Myth had stowed in her bag (It was slightly bruised, as Salibalf had been on top of it).

"It may have been anticlimactic, but it got the job done." It was Myth's turn to wipe her forehead. "Now she can keep Morgoth and Sauron company in the Void."

"Yup. Curses! We forgot her eyes!"

"Well, damn. Maybe next time." Isabel shrugged and turned to Diana. "All recruits present and accounted for?"
Diana lifted (with some difficulty) the bag of recruits. "Isn't it one of you guy's turns to take the bag?"
"Why yes it is..." Isabel grinned. "I think it's Myth's."
"I was hoping you'd forgotten," she grumbled as she went to take the bag from Diana.

"Okay. Now, how're we gonna dispose of these two?" Diana inquired.

"We could... do something... horrible... and painful..." Isabel said thoughtfully.
"Oh, please do not maim us!" Elisha and Ashleigh cried in sync.
"Okay. Fine." Myth snapped, and, before anyone could ask what she was doing, she yanked her Yamani glaive out of her bag (leaving Ling with a shallow cut on one arm), strode over to the 'Sues, and beheaded Ashleigh. Everyone blinked. Then Elisha began screaming.

"Oh, face your death with some dignity." Myth snarled, bringing her glaive back to run the 'Sue through.

"Wait!" Isabel cried, "She's mine to kill!"
"Oh... Right... sorry." Myth stepped back.

Isabel strode over to the remaining 'Sue, who was screaming so loudly her whole body was vibrating. She grabbed the girl's hair and slapped her soundly across the face to shut her up. She pulled Elisha's head back by the hair, got right up in her face, and said, "In a nutshell, scoodle-bumpkin." Then she slammed her palm against the 'Sue's nose and up into her brain, killing her with the expression of pants-wetting fear still on her face.

Isabel strode over to the remaining 'Sue, who was screaming so loudly her whole body was vibrating. She grabbed the girl's hair and slapped her soundly across the face to shut her up. She pulled Elisha's head back by the hair, got right up in her face, and said, "In a nutshell, scoodle-bumpkin." Then she slammed her palm against the 'Sue's nose and up into her brain, killing her with the expression of pants-wetting fear still on her face.

Myth gave her the oddest of odd looks. "...Scoodle-bumpkin?"

Isabel shrugged. "I read it in a fanfiction somewhere. I've always wanted to say it."

"Works." Diana said, looking a little green. "Now let's go back."

"Myth!" Isabel snapped, "What are you doing?"
"I just let them out for a little air..."
The elves that they'd snatched were out.
"Fine, let's just go..." Isabel snatched the portal generator from Myth, pressed a few buttons, and stepped through the portal. Myth herded the elves through, and Diana came after her.

Mission accomplished.

Myth's A/N: Stay tuned for... The Aftermath! Yay! No more 'Sue! No more pulverized paragraphs, gutted grammar, or ridiculous redundancies! Until next time, anyway…

Isabel's A/N: It's finished. Oh lord, it's finally finished. Thank Eru that this particular 'Sue is out of the fandom and not doing any more damage. Thanks for reading, everyone, and we'll be back soon with a different (but equally disturbing) story, and The Aftermath (as Myth calls it) of this one. And apparently more alliteration.