Disclaimer: I own no one (though I won't mind chaining one or two bad boys to my bed) All characters are either Janet Evanovich's or Maggie Shayne's from her "The Bride Wore a .44" story from the book "Kick $$" This fic does not follow Maggie's story but just asks what if a certain Plum got inserted into it. Don't worry, there will eventually be Ranger and Joe. This is more a prequel for a Christmassy story I want to put out so I am going to probably rush this a bit.

Spoilers: EOT

Home is…

My sister got married right out of College. Right after the honeymoon her and her new husband Steven moved to sunny California where he had already landed a good job with a stable company. Not long after, Valerie plunged headfirst into motherhood. At that time, I was in my phase where I wanted to be a rock star, but, I just couldn't play guitar well enough. I envied her for living in the realm sunshine and wild stars. Where craziness was openly smiled at and social limits where freely pushed. I guess that is why I chose California for my first real vacation.

I am Stephanie Plum. I used to jump off anything I could climb on trying to fly. I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I tried bounty hunting, and while that job had some perks, I got tired of rolling in the garbage. I technically work for Rangeman, a securities company that deals with high end clients and doesn't mind working a bit off the law abiding path. My employee file labels me as a working in the research department, but I am still not sure what my job entails. I was hire during a bit of a crisis by my mentor, friend and one time lover Ranger. I once thought that when Ranger first helped me get started bounty hunting, it was on the same level as a pity fuck. I was wrong. I strongly suspected that this job was essentially a pity fuck. While the after shocks of my latest crisis rebounded around, I kept waiting for Ranger to hint that either he wanted me to do more than just type in names and print stuff out. While rolling around in trash was not my idea of a good time, I was also not so fond of the typical 9 to 5 all day indoors work day. Truthfully, I didn't know what I wanted in work or life. I, Stephanie Plum am the queen of denial and avoidance. The proble is, there are only so many elephants in a room you can ignore before you run out of places to stand. Hence why I decided with much pressure from my friend, that I need to go away from it all and really think about stuff.

Truthfully, the town my resort hotel was located in seemed to lack the wildness I always believed resided in California, but that was ok since I was here to get away from the craziness of my life, not sight see more. It wouldn't really be that bad to see other people being crazy. It might actually make me feel normal. That and it really was only the first day. What could happen with most of the day gone? Check in time for the hotel had not been till four on Monday and I was just out for a lit stroll trying to spot a likely dinner place as well as scope out the scenery and shopping while the stores were still open. As it was I was enjoying myself immensely. Fall has always been my favorite season. With it's crisp air and bright colors. Not to mention the beginning of the eating holidays. But, Jersey fall had nothing on California fall. Here it was the beginning of November and it was sunny and in the high 60's. It felt wonderful to walk in the still slightly warm air that managed to have the same crispness I expect in fall air. I could tell it would cool rapidly once the sun was completely down. I would probably have to re-don my flannel shirt that was currently tied around my waist.

I was out enjoying the weather with a bit of window shopping. Thoughts of dinner, pushed aside in favor of new boots and sexy dresses. I even looked at the toys in the window. My current goal was to start my Christmas shopping early this year. I knew that with a week of nothing but free time, I would have to pace myself. I had actually saved up a bit of money, but I knew my credit cards would explode by the end of this vacation. Not that the only thing I had to do was shop. As part of my vacation, I had prepaid for one relaxation treatment for each day of my stay. 7 treatments of my choice, or actually 7 hours of treatments that could be spread out as I choose since some would take up more time than others. I couldn't help but smile as I planned out the massages, facials, wraps, pedicures, and manicures I planned to have. Nothing but relaxation for this girl as I tried to get my head on straight. Though today's hour would probably get added to one of the other days since I just wanted to get settled. My smile grew wider as I spotted a small pastry shop just a few minutes from my hotel. Looks like I found dinner.

Looking in the glass display cases, I was greeted with both the familiar cakes, doughnuts, scones and plan danishes as well as unfamiliar danishes and croissants combinations with fillings I haven't tried done up to look extra fancy. Choosing out a simple cheese croissant with a fancy name so there must be something special for dinner, as well as a sweet looking Danish for dessert, I ordered a coffee and went to the register to pay. Automatically, I handed over my visa card to pay. While it was only a small amount of money, I planned to put everything onto my cards and deal with the charges later. It meant simplicity while shopping and was a bit safer in case I lost my purse or something. Not that I had a car to blow up my purse in. I planned to only go walking distance from my hotel. Just shopping and relaxing.

Noting that it had been a while since I handed the young cashier my card, I looked up with question and concern clearly in my eyes. If I had miscalculated some how and my card was not good, I was sooo screwed. "Don't worry," she reassured. "The internet stuff in this area is real slow. It will just take a bit."

I tried to contain the Burg girl that was used to a swipe, sign, and go. I mentally focusing on not taping my fingers as the second ticked by. The cashier pooped her gum as she stood transfixed by the little machine that would tell her when the transaction was good. I debated asking if I just eat my pastries while I waited. I figured at this rate they would be done before the transaction was. Finally the machine whirled and a piece of paper with so little ink I couldn't read it came out for me to sign. A quick swipe of my pen later and my pastries were free.

My vacation was definitely looking good as I walked out of the pastry shop with a coffee and some fancy pastries I had never tried before. Plunking down on the first clean bench I dug out the fancy cheese croissant thingy and bit in with relish. See, pastry shops can sell dinner. It was just like a flakey grill cheese sandwich with a touch of sweetness. Yum. Looking up I realized I sat on the wrong bench, for I was facing into a small wedding boutique. Just what I needed. Reminders of what I was trying to figure out. Theoretically I was here on vacation solely to think about those problems, but I was sure they would smooth out with the knots on my back as I got one of the hot stone massages advertised in the brochure I had looked through. Right now I wanted to work my way to the Danish that seemed to have chocolate and cherries in it.

I was contemplating values of better scenery versus not having to interrupt my eating when two women walked out of the boutique. It was obvious by their looks that they were related. They both had light brown hair with a slight wave. Though, the older ones was streaked with gray. They both had the same heart shaped faces, even though the one I assume to be the mothers had a bit more weight and sag in it. Though the younger one was quite a bit taller. Probably 5'10" to the others 54" What caught my eye was the younger ones look. I knew the younger one's look well. It was the look of a woman railroaded into a decision not her own.

"Don't worry sweetie," said the woman I assumed was the mom. "It will be all over on Saturday."

"I know mom," sighed the yonder one. "I'm just a bit tired."

The confirmed mom felt her forehead with concerned gesture known by moms the world over. " Well, you best go and get some rest than. It wouldn't do to have bags under your eyes while they take pictures, now would it. I will take care of the rest of the stuff today."

I had to conceal a smile as she recognized yet another look. The look of relief mixed with guilt, when you get freed from some onerous task that you really felt you should be doing. "Thanks mom." The young woman sighed. The older woman gave an endearing smile and clip clopped away with the stride of someone with a lot to do.

"Bridesmaid with an ugly dress, or bride with an overbearing mother?" I asked, not being able to resist the chance to commiserate. The young woman looked at me with surprise. "Stephanie," I answered the unasked question. "Kira" was her automatic reply.

"So which is it?" I pressed. "I've been both, so I know the look."

Kira seemed to smile a bit as she seemed to understand I was trying to commiserate with her. "Bride with a bit of a controlling mother." Was her quiet reply.

A sardonic smile graced my lips. "Well just a few more days and you will have plenty of un planned time with the love of your life."

Another sigh escaped Kira's lips.

Oh oh, I knew that sound too. "You're not sure he is the one are you?"

"It's more complicated than that." Kira stated quietly. "You see, I actually had an accident a bit back and hurt my head. I remember my childhood and stuff, but somewhere along the line things get muddled and I can't remember anything recent. When I first came out of the coma, I was helpless. My mother took over everything and I guess I am still letting her."

"That doesn't explain the sigh over your future husband though," I prompted, intrigued by a story out of some fantasy novel.

"Well apparently I was engaged to Peter before the accident and I decided to go thru with the wedding anyways. It is just I don't remember loving him. It doesn't mean I didn't love him. I just don't remember it now."

"I don't see why you couldn't postpone the wedding till you remember at least." Kira just struck a cord with me. I spent most of my life in a fog wondering what I was doing and why. True, she had a valid excuse for not know the why of her action, but it still struck a cord and I wanted to help her.

"I just don't care really. I'm sure it will be ok."

"That's true." I conceded. "There is always divorce." A thought that still brought a strange combination of grimace and smile to my face. You probably just need to get out and let off some steam. Have a bachelorette party or something." I didn't want to seem to negative.

"I hadn't really planned anything. I couldn't really remember who were my friend to invite."

I was just rearing up to full rino "you will have fun" mode when a very lean yet strong looking guy appeared in the shop window behind Kira. "Is that your fiancé?" I asked.

She quickly turned around and smile, "No, that is the wedding planner, Marshal."

At her smile Marshal came out and started talking to Kira, though his eyes seem to stray to me. "I was thinking that while your mom was away, you might like a few moments to discuss what you would like."

I have been around enough dangerous people that I now recognize the "I'm being casual, but in a moments notice I could kill you" body stance. Marshal head that body language now.

"Sure," Kira responded half heartedly, and she waved goodbye to me.

"Nice talking to you." I said in farewell. Picking up my coffee and my Danish I walked to the hotel. Kira had hit that mothering instinct that made me adopt pot heads and mutant looking dogs. That and Marshal made me curious. Good thing I was here to relax and stay out of trouble.

After my rather strange conversation with Kira, I wandered back towards my hotel. I couldn't imagine placidly going into a marriage just because I was engaged and others had told me that I loved the guy. Of course I had blissfully walked into a marriage where everyone around me was telling me I wasn't in love with the guy, so I guess I was not one to talk. Still it upset me. While walking back to my hotel I fantasized about grabbing Kira and shaking some life into her. Saving her from a dreary life. Driving off into the sunset Thelma and Louise style. Guns blazing.

Yeah. That was an image. Kira was probably a perfectly normal woman who would not find married life dreary. Mary Lou was happy in her marriage. While she did enjoy hearing about the exciting parts of Bounty Hunting, she made it quite clear that that was not the type of life for her. Heck, it wasn't most people's idea of a reasonable life. I was the only freak that while I thought it was scary when people tried to kill me, and hated getting gross stuff on me, I couldn't see myself doing anything else.

I couldn't see myself doing anything else? What the hell had I been doing these past few months working for Ranger? Well I guess that was one of the things I was trying to figure out this vacation. Tomorrow I planned to do some serious think with the aid of a good massage. For tonight I planned to shelve all those thoughts for a bit longer since I discovered that in the lobby they had movies to rent and I found the original Wonder Woman tv series on disk. I planned to spend the night researching one of my idols.

Tuesday morning I woke up luxuriously late. I had stayed up till 2 am watching two full dvds of Wonder Woman reliving my childhood dreams. All I needed was a magic lasso and an invisible plane and I would be ready to roll. Since I didn't have those things, I settled with longing in bed and enjoying the lack of break ins. Though after about an hour I had to admit I was bored. I wasn't used to doing nothing. Normally when I would just lay in bed, it was to think. The thinking I had to do I was determined not to do till I had a massage, facial manicure, pedicure and whatever else I could fit in under my belt. Since I was going to get up, I might as well get some food. Lunch, since it was approaching noon already.

On my way to find food, I walked past a store full of purses and baggage. Not my normal type of store, but one of the purses caught my eye. It was a black leather over the shoulder bag that did not look much different than my currant bag. What caught my eye was that on the display they had an opened up one and it had many different compartments in a variety of sizes. Looking at it made me think of an end to my frantic searches for my stunner or gun in a crisis. This wasn't just me wanting something. I needed that purse. Knowing that this was a perfectly needed purchase, I marched in grabbed the bag and handed over my credit card. And waited. Once again the credit card machine seemed to take forever. The Blond clerk that looked like she should be in school right now seemed nonplused. I on the other hand being a Jersey girl was about ready to explode if I had to wait any more. The stupid machine finally came to life and started spewing out paper for me to sign.

"Finally!"

"Yeah, this area is a bit off the whole internet line so it takes a bit for all the card transactions to go thru."

"You mean this is normal for ALL the stores in this area?" Dread enveloped me as I pondered the thought of 5 minute waits every time I paid for something. I wanted to swipe sign and go. I tried to hold the panic in. I could learn patience. It could be a skill building experience. I would not go insane.

Taking my new purchase, I went in search of a McDonalds I had spotted the night before. With the upsetting news that each purchase was going to be accompanied by a long wait for the credit machine to dial up the card company and thru the slowest internet speed possible transfer my info, I needed comfort food. I would not go insane.

My trip to McDonalds told me otherwise. Not only did the pimply trainee not know how to trade a soda for a shake with my meal, I did the mistake of trying to pay with my card since I still planned to do this whole trip on my card. Sadly senior pimple head did not know how to charge my card. Instead, three times in a row we waited, and waited till we both agreed that something was wrong, canceled out and tried again. It took the manager to figure out how to make it work. Afterwards, he suggested pulling out money from the bank across the street before coming in.

By the time I had finished paying my food was already cooling. Luckily, french fries dipped in chocolate shake can always cheer me up. Happily chewing I planned out my day. In the Hotel lobby I had read that they spa treatments are only available from 8am till 4:30 pm. That being the case, I could finish lunch, do a little bit of shopping, make it back to sign up for what ever was available and then could either do some more shopping or veg out. Sounded like a plan to me.

After finishing my food I tossed my trash, grabbed what was left of my shake and commenced shopping. Two stores later, I was stomping towards the bank ATM intent on just drawing out as much cash as my card would let me. To hell with the higher interest rate. I could not take waiting at every fucking store. I am here to relax and waiting is not relaxing.

Pulling out the large lump of cash seemed to calm demon Stephanie. Now I just feel like every thug out there is going to jump me for the lump of cash in my purse. It was 2:30, time to get back to the hotel to relax. Or so I thought. Turns out that today some local business had sent its employs over to the hotels spa as a reward for some job well done. There wasn't a single slot open for me to slid into. A bit depressed, I dropped my bags in my room, looked around and decided that shopping with cheer me up. Besides, I would just take an extra hour of pampering tomorrow. What I needed now was shopping with no long credit machine waits.

It was in a store full of picture frames that I saw Kira again. I was wondering it one of the Frames would make a good present for my mom, but thought that it would just earn me more nagging about my lack of family when she walked in. Something about Kira just called to me. It was like she was a kindred spirit and I wanted to rescue her from doing my mistakes. I probably would mess up her life too, but I still wanted to say hi.

Kira seemed to be lost in thought staring at a pair of engraved toasting cups she was obviously there to pick up. "Hey Kira." I greeted cheerfully, starling herout of her almost trance. "Still getting everything set up for your wedding?"

"Yes," She seemed to frown a bit, "No reason not to."

"Um yeah" except you don't remember loving the groom. "What are your plans for after you get married?" That was always a way to get a bride to be to talk. Even I had planned out what I expected my life with the Dike to be like. Where we would live. How long before kids. All those things.

"I haven't really thought about it."

"Huh" Wrong, wrong, wrong, my brain screamed. Something just felt off. Could Kira really have forgotten her whole relationship with her fiancé? Here I thought my life sometime came from a soap. This was classic soap material if I ever saw it. My nagging feeling that something was off made me remember the wedding planner.

"Out of curiosity, what did the wedding planner want to talk to you about?"

"He just thought I could use a bit of quiet. We had sandwiches up on the roof of the store where he had a little table set up." Kira was quiet for a bit and then the first smile I had seen on her since I met her, broke out on her face. "It was nice."

Her smile had that shy soft look that I would be more likely to expect if she was talking about her fiancé. Hmmm. I could not let this go.

"You know what you need?"

Kira seemed startled by my over bright question. Without waiting for a reply I answered, "Sexy clothes."

While Kira looked surprised, I could tell she was wavering. "Come on, I bet your mom chose your wedding dress. Do you really want her to choose your underwear. Lets get some lingerie and honey moon cloths. It will be fun. You don't even need to buy anything. Just try on something wild and feel sexy and wild for a bit. That will get you ready for a wedding." To my delight Kira agreed and we were off. Sexy clothes here we come. And I might learn a bit more about what seemed off about this whole wedding and amnesia thing.