On A Cold Winter's Night
by Skylar

A chilly breeze squeezed in through the curtains and Nick shivered under the covers, worming closer to the bare body next to his. Her skin was warm but full of goosebumps, and as he ran his hand through her back he pressed a kiss to her ear, provoking a shiver.

In the living room, The First Noel drummed through his small apartment and he smiled, feeling content and melancholic at the same time – content to be with her, but still yearning to be home with his family. If he played his cards well maybe, he thought, next year he could have both.

Another breeze entered the room and this time it was her turn to shiver, and as she slept she turned on her side and pressed her chest against his. Her nipples were hard and he couldn't help sighing at the sensation, running his fingers through her long hair, all the way down her back and up again.

Her eyes danced slightly behind her closed lids and as he looked at her he wondered, for the first time in years, how it was possible to have something so beautiful and so pure without the threat of pain looming in the distance. He knew how he felt about her, even though they'd only been seeing each other for a while, and though he didn't know if he was ready to use the word 'love' he couldn't deny there was something growing, day by day.

He shouldn't fall in love, he knew. Not now, at least, not when the scars were still fresh, when he still couldn't sleep through the day without being tormented by the nightmares, by the memories of that tiny box, the smell of dirt, the sensation of being devoured by thousands of tiny teeth. It was still too fresh, still looming, and for as long as it did he knew falling in love with her would only lead to disaster. He knew he could hold on and brace himself and try to survive his tumultuous thoughts; he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold on to her in the process.

And yet at the same time she proved to be a distraction, a way to forget those memories and laugh. And she made him laugh, made him feel like a teenager all over again, insecure and clumsy and giddy. When she was around, the memories weren't as painful, the nightmares not quite as long or dark. He wondered maybe if it was possible to go through all of this with her, if she was willing to stand by his side and make it less intimidating. It was naïve to think like that, of course, and selfish, because she didn't deserve that, didn't deserve to be with a man who's broken, beaten down by the thoughts and the memories and the still clear voice of Walter Gordon.

He pushed these thoughts aside, and as the room grew colder and colder they drew closer until the warm cocoon of blankets and covers weren't enough. Sighing, he threw the sheets back and hopped out of bed, and the floor was so cold he had to waddle his way towards the window, making sure there was nobody outside who would take offense to his nakedness before he closed it down.

The streets were dark tonight and he stood there for a minute, thinking of all the children who were currently in bed, waiting for Santa Claus as their parents crept around the house, laying gifts under the tree. Suddenly he found himself missing his family again, wondered if all his nieces are nephews were currently snuggled under the blankets, dreaming of presents and reindeer and an old man clad in red. Work prevented him from going home this year, as it had many years before, but this time it pained him even more, because just six months ago he thought he'd never see his family again, and as he lay on that hospital bed he swore he'd never take them for granted.

Now, he was far from home, unable to enjoy the holidays with the very family he swore he'd never ignore for work again. He supposed it was just another one of fate's twists.

As he rubbed his arms to create some warmth trough friction, he walked over to his dresser, where he opened his underwear drawer and fished around until he found a small box. He looked back and she still slept, so he walked towards the living room and turned the radio off, cutting Let It Snow right in the middle. Most of their take-out dinner was still on the table and at the sight of it his stomach growled, but he ignored the feeling as he returned to the bedroom and slipped into bed with her again.

Before opening the box he looked at the clock on the nightstand, and as soon as it marked 12:01 he smiled to himself. The little box opened in his hands and he carefully removed the silver bracelet resting inside. Even now, he wondered if jewelry was too big a statement, too intimate and too territorial, because even though this little thing between them grew by the day, they still hadn't even told their friends about it. Kind of adolescent, he knew, but it was better to play it safe, at least until their relationship solidified completely.

He put the box on the night stand and sought her hand. Her fingers were long, her nails clipped neatly, and after kissing her fingertips he slipped the bracelet around her slender wrist, watching as it settled there all shiny and delicate. He smiled at his own antic and turned his head to kiss her forehead, and as he did she inched closer to him, seeking his warmth.

He snaked an arm around her waist and kissed her ear.

"Sofia," he whispered softly, smiling when she wrinkled her nose. He called her again and she moaned in her sleep, frowning slightly.

"Hey, sleepy."

At that she opened her eyes, or at least tried to. They'd both been working so hard lately sleep had become an oddity.

Her blue eyes circled around the room before she looked at him, and a smile instantly formed on her lips.

"We don't have to go back," she began.

"No," Nick smiled. "Not until tomorrow."

"Hmm," she said before she closed her eyes and settled her head upon the crook of his neck.

"It's midnight."

"What?"

"Midnight," he tried again. "It's Christmas."

She opened her eyes at this and pulled back to look at him questioningly. "It is?" He gestured towards the clock and when she looked at it she kind of smiled, as if she'd just realized she slept through an entire week, even though she'd only been asleep for an hour.

"Wow," she said, looked down at him and captured his lips softly before murmuring, "Merry Christmas."

He grinned before he sought her lips and used his strength to flip her over and pin her under him. He chuckled when a strange, merry sound escaped her lips. Nick studied her smile for a second before he kissed her softly, savoring the moment and feeling the warmth return to his limbs. With his tongue he trailed a road through her lower lip before she parted them for him, and as he explored her mouth inch by inch she moaned, running a hand through his cheek as the other trailed down his spine.

It was only when he pulled back and began to kiss her neck that she noticed the silver bracelet on her wrist.

"Nick?"

"Hmm?" he said without stopping.

"What's this?"

He pulled back and followed her gaze towards the wrist. He grabbed her hand, tangled his fingers through hers and kissed her knuckles.

"That?" he said, feigning ignorance. "Funny story."

"Uh huh," she said suspiciously.

"I was lying in bed, thinking about how sexy you are — when suddenly this guy climbed through the window."

"Somebody broke into your apartment?"

"Well, not just somebody, Sofia, this guy was all fat and wearing red, and he kinda stunk of reindeer."

She rolled her eyes, suppressing a smile.

"I said, 'hey, buddy, you can't be here. I'm kinda naked.' He said, 'I have a gift for Sofia Curtis.' I said, 'can't you come back another time?' You wouldn't believe what he said."

Sofia smiled. "What did he say?"

"He said, 'look, the missus never set the alarm clock last night, and I'm kinda running late over here, so stop beating around the bush and help me out or you're going on my naughty list.' So I said, 'fine, she's right here.' He started to walk over and I thought it was weird, on account of our nakedness, so I suggested he leave the present under the tree and he didn't want to. So I suggested he give me the present, but he wanted none of that, either, and the way he kept looking at you? Boy, this guy was creepy," Nick finished playfully.

"He was?" she said, feigning shock. "What did you do?"

"I shot him," Nick said, eliciting a laugh. "Buried the body in the back."

"That was very honorable of you, Nick, but I think you may have ruined Christmas," Sofia said.

"Oh well," Nick said, settling himself between her legs and kissing her cheek. "I'm sure one of those Santa Clauses at the mall will just get a promotion and things will go back to normal."

"Nick," she said somewhat sternly, trying to ignore the intense feeling his lips on her neck created. "You didn't have to do this."

He pulled back and kissed her lips. "I know I didn't. I wanted to."

"It looks kind of expensive," she said, eyeing the bracelet as if it were a bomb.

"Nah," Nick said. "Got it from the evidence room."

She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes at him.

He smiled. "It doesn't matter how much it cost—"

"It does."

"—looks beautiful on you," he finished.

Sofia smiled reluctantly.

"Besides, I know you got me something, too."

She opened her mouth in shock. "How do you know that?"

"Because," he said, kissing her again. "You're not very good at hiding your gifts."

She laughed, shifting under him and flipping him over, straddling his thighs. She kissed the corner of his mouth and pinned his wrists to the bed. "It's very beautiful, thank you."

Nick grinned, eyes roaming over her body before he looked at her again. "Is this part one of my Christmas present?"

She smiled into his mouth. "Maybe."

"I think I'm gonna like it."

"Well, I hope so, because I threw away the receipt," she joked.

Nick chuckled and kissed her deeply. She let go of his wrists and he pinned her hair back, feeling content, somewhat complete, despite the looming memories of Gordon and the inevitable nightmares. During moments like these they never seemed as threatening.

She pulled back and smiled gently at him, kissing his nose adoringly, her movements full of grace.

"You owe me a Merry Christmas."

Nick smiled, bringing her hand to his lips. "Merry Christmas, Miss Curtis."

--The End--
12/19/05