Meant To Be

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

This story will just have to do for my Christmas story. I was going to do a 7-chapter story, but... No. Wouldn't be done in time. So, let's just say that this is my Christmas story. I got the beginning part of the idea from biggest anime fan's story Unexpected Beginning, Impossible End. I can't believe I wrote something so sad... Okay, I shall go wipe my emo self off the face of the planet now. Enjoy, and please review!

EDIT: (Thursday June 12, 2008) I looked over the story and fixed a few awkward sentences as well as made it more obvious that she's standing in the Feudal Era rather than the Present. Done as a belated response to fyre byrd's very helpful review, though in my immaturity I found it vaguely insulting at the time. Thanks very much!

She stared down into the depths of the well. She felt a tear run down her cheek and watched it until it disappeared in the darkness. As she stood there, a million unanswered questions ran through her mind. What was she to do now? Where was she supposed to go? Was this really the way things were meant to be?

Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to believe that. There were things that were meant to be and things that weren't.

Naraku died. That was meant to be. Sango's brother was free. Even if Kohaku wasn't going to be alive to enjoy his freedom, that was also meant to be. Miroku's wind tunnel was gone. He and Sango were going to be together. The jewel was complete. Kagura was free. Those were all meant to be.

Inuyasha, looking Kagome in the eye, telling her without speaking that he owed Kikyou and that he still loved her. That... was not meant to be.

"Kagome... I'm sorry... I --"

"No need to explain." She smiled at him, but it was a sad, lonely smile. "I understand. She was your first love. You were going to live together in peace." She swallowed the lump in her throat back down, determined not to cry in front of him. "You two deserve to have that after everything you've been through."

Inuyasha was silent for a few minutes. Finally, he spoke. "Is there anything I can do for you, Kagome?" Though he didn't say it, his eyes added, "before I go."

She placed the jewel in his hand and closed his fingers around it, tears in her eyes. "Yeah," she said, starting to choke on her words. Before continuing, she had to look at the ground to gather herself together. When she finally looked up, she was smiling a bright smile. It was rather obvious it was fake, and anyone could see the sadness behind her eyes. "Be happy, okay? Do that for me and everything will be alright."

"Kagome..."

She wanted to wrap her arms around him in a hug, or cling to his haori and tell him not to be with Kikyou, but she knew she couldn't. She heard from her mother once that sometimes, if you really love someone, you have to let them go. She knew that she had to do this for Inuyasha. She had to let him go.

"Good bye, Inuyasha." She turned, and she ran.

No, that was not meant to be.

She wasn't supposed to be staring into the well in the middle of a Feudal Era winter while Inuyasha used the jewel to become human. She wasn't supposed to be there while he went to hell with Kikyou in his new form. She was supposed to be with Inuyasha, and they were supposed to protect the jewel together instead of using it. Or maybe they could've used it – perhaps they could've brought Kohaku back to life, or, if Inuyasha wanted, he could've become human as planned and lived with Kagome – but he wasn't supposed to die with Kikyou. It was not meant to be.

And yet, somehow, Kagome knew that it was. It was supposed to be because that was just how it happened. It wasn't some fairy tale she was living in; it was real life, and things didn't always happen how you imagined them. The truth was that she was not meant to be with him. She was meant to be doing exactly what she was doing. She was meant to be standing there, staring into the well while the snow gathered on the ground and on her, wondering what to do next on that cold day that, somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew to be Christmas in her own world.

She felt a shiver run down her spine. It wasn't a shiver born of the cold; it was one born of loneliness, despair, and indecisiveness. What was she to do now? She couldn't just stand there forever.

She could go home. If she did that, she would be warm and safe. She could spill her heart out to her mother and tell her everything that happened. Her mother would have advice; she always did. Her mother would make everything alright. But... no, something about that didn't seem right. Besides, what of the Feudal Era? Even without Inuyasha, she somehow felt that she belonged in that time period rather than in her own. If she went home, she could never return without the Shikon Jewel.

She could always live with Sango and Miroku. Her best friends would definitely let her stay with them. She could also be with Shippou, who was going to be living with them as well. Her friends would be kind, caring, and understanding. But what would she be able to give them in return? She would be loading them with her problems and not helping them in any way. That didn't seem right to her. No, she couldn't do that to her friends.

She was running out of options. Maybe it would all be better if she just disappeared. Her friends would think she went back to her era, and her family would think she stayed with Inuyasha. They would all think she was happy and therefore be happy for her. No one would ever have to know the truth. No one would have to know that she was going to live as a wanderer with no past.

She would have to do that. It was her only option. She would have to forget everything and live her life far from the well, far from her memories. She couldn't keep anything with her that reminded her of her adventures with her first and possibly only love. She would have to get new clothes and burn her school uniform. Her yellow backpack she would leave there, in the well. She would put her hair up in a style normal for people of the Feudal era. She would have to work hard for food, become calloused. She could perhaps work as a wandering priestess. No, that would remind her of Kikyou, which would lead to Inuyasha and their adventures. Just a traveler, doing any job she could find for money and food. She would never look back, because if she did, she would stumble and fall. She would forget her family of her era and her friends of this one. She would get close to no one, and she would never again be disappointed.

And some day, years later, she would return. She would look into the well and remember Inuyasha and their adventures, and she would walk to the God Tree and sit beneath its branches. She could close her eyes and, for a moment, she could be young and full of energy again and searching for the shards. She could see Inuyasha again and remember the bad times and the great times. She would be smiling through it all, for she would know that she was entering a dream that would last forever. She would never wake up from it, and that would be fine with her. She could forever search for the jewel shards with all of her friends. She could forever tell Inuyasha to sit when he was being a jerk. She could forever be with him; he would be waiting. Her long and tiring life would be over, and he would be waiting.