Let It Be
All Ages – John thinks about letting it be.
Warning for one bad word and unrepentant fluffy sap.
He didn't know exactly when he realized it. It had to be some time between going off world with his team, keeping his soldiers sharp, writing his reports, helping with the Jumper maintenance and hoping no one tried another takeover of Atlantis.
One day, it was just there, like an old friend . . . comfortable and warming.
The only surprise was that he wasn't freaking out. He wasn't feeling trapped or out of his depth this time and no sense that he had to prove himself or compete for attention.
Hell, he had all the attention he could handle right now.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard was in love and he wasn't in a hurry to declare himself.
He just wanted to let it be for now.
To enjoy.
Just to feel the tingle as his love walked the halls of Atlantis and the contentment from just seeing the familiar form and hearing the familiar voice.
Maybe he was being selfish about it.
John just wanted to bask in the feeling without having the pressure of the talk that would come after his confession.
Right now, he just wanted to . . . let it be.
He wasn't a teenager any more. Contrary to what some thought, he could control himself . . . well, most of the time. Yeah, he'd made a few mistakes in that area since getting to the messed up place that was the Pegasus Galaxy.
And he didn't want his every move to be questioned by the people he worked with every day. When he accidentally touched a hand or brushed a finger over cloth . . . he wanted himself to be the only one who knew what it meant.
Right now wasn't the time for relationships. They all needed to keep focused on their goals.
The Wraith were out there still. Killing . . . feeding.
John was under enough pressure to think and act out in the field. He didn't want to have to be on his toes here at home as well.
Just . . . let it be.
And if his love figured it out before he was ready to declare himself . . . all he would do was nod, smile, and wait for a response.
If in the end, it didn't go as he wanted . . . he would adjust.
After his time in war zones and pitched battles, he realized that love was its own reward.
A refusal would not change how he felt.
There was a sound behind him in the mess as he tried to pick out something for lunch. John turned to see his love joining the line.
He slowed, allowing their paths to catch up and let his smile speak for him.
John allowed his hand to brush skin as he seemed to grab for his tray.
The comfortable warmth welled in his chest.
Right now . . . he wanted this as it was.
To just let 'it' exist, to let it evolve on its own timetable, to live for the moments of warmth and to let it be.
END