Journey's End
Pairings: There are book pairings.
Events: This fiction is one that follows the path of Rohan through the end of the War of the Ring. Beyond the end of the story, there are chapters concerning the first few years of the Fourth Age, after the passing of the Ringbearers into the West.
Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkien owns 'The Lord of the Rings' book series. Joss Whedon controls the world of Buffy. Peter Jackson and company own "The Lord of the Rings' films. We only own a part of the plot.
Summary: Buffy is summoned to fulfill an oath before she can rest in peace.
In Gratitude: In complete repentance for the lack of updating, I will answer each review with a response. I do not do this often (that I recall), but it is fun taking the time to do. I should do it more often.
Lorency: Unfortunately, yes. That is the way the Slayer operates. I see it as how she somewhat acted after the return from her second death. Sadly enough for her, the plan to cut herself off does not go as smoothly as expected. In fact, a few people are about to pick up on her plan.
Sukera: Making a quick update? Well, I will just apologize now. I will try to get a chapter out a week. But, right now, that seems… laughable. Thank you, by the way.
Rcaqua: Well… I cannot give away all of my secrets now, can I? I keep saying that the chapters will give it away. Well… if I read my own chapters ahead, the answer will become painfully obvious in the next chapter or so.
Evilelvengoddess: Thank you very much, my dear.
Serpent of Light: Could you imagine if Buffy had done that? I would have been laughing my ass off, excuse the language. She may be a little rough around the edges when it comes to dating men (and Éomer is only about five years her senior when you consider the birth date, the dates in question and her own age) but Éomer has likely never doted on a female other than his sister or a female mare before. I would almost pity any man who would face that sort of harsh reality. And I most definitely agree with you about Buffy as the favorite Slayer and Middle-earth as my favorite world. Buffy's good favoring will help her down the line a bit, opening up a few options and, well, determining how she will try to shut her new "people" out of her life.
Nicessus: Truthfully, I despise cliffhangers. I am so frustrated with some writer's inability to actually complete that final sentence that I was forced to create my own. You have my apologies. And thank you for your kind words!
Russa: I cannot give away the details to her dream yet… but they were a little… scary. Buffy confiding in Legolas was for one reason and one reason alone – he can understand what it is like to be called home. Gandalf will not accept this as he sees Buffy for more of a successor than a woman, but Legolas can see a woman who hears the call of the "west". I figured that she would have a better chance in confiding in an immortal. It has nothing to do with trusting Éomer, because she does trust him. She wouldn't have fought beside him in the largest battle yet if she didn't. It had nothing to do with saving the world. She was sent to counsel Théoden and after his death, she should have been released from her binding contract… and yet, the world really isn't ready to let her go… yet.
Chapter Summary: Awkward conversations follow the last debate, leading to big decisions and the painful truth… but for one pair, it is just the beginning.
Chapter Warning: Aside from the small bit at the beginning, this is mostly a chapter of Buffy facing what the Rohirrim want from her. I really do not like this chapter considering how awkward it really is, but I felt as though the next chapter is one I really wanted to get to. I advanced the story long enough to tell you that they will advance towards Ithilien in the next chapter. Because this chapter is basically another "filler", I will confide the battle chapter comes after the following. It is somewhat separated into two sections, and then… the fun begins.
x-x-x
Chapter 19
Just Words
By Katrina Claire
x-x-x
Legolas was lost in thought even as he heard the sounds of conversation behind him. He wasn't keen to join in, but these Halflings were his friends and they earned the right to hear about the adventure they had not been on. He was about to speak when he heard the call of sea-faring birds above his head and pointed into the sky, drawing the others' attention towards them.
"Look!" he cried. "Gulls! They are flying inland. A wonder they are to me and a trouble to my heart. Never in all my life had I met them, until we came to Pelargir, and there I heard them crying in the air as we rode to the battle of the ships."
As the others craned their necks to follow his gaze, he suddenly felt himself wondering if this is what had drawn Merilin to such a conclusion; to accept death as a known future rather than working to defeat it. He felt the call of the west. Perhaps, just perhaps, she felt the call too. He thought for a moment on why she had confided in him. Perhaps she knew that he too felt the allure of what happened beyond life. Or, perhaps, she felt something towards him that led her to believe that he alone was one she could confide in.
His last assumption was that she confided in him because there had not been another that would be unhurt by her words. He felt that this was the true reason and even as he saw with keen eyes the seafaring birds beat to the north, he knew that he had found a kindred soul amongst these humans. Even the Dwarf knew enough of death to know that it was final and absolute. The Dagnir had been through more than her fair share of hardships, but her death had never been cold and absolute. It was solitary and steadfast, determining to keep her within the throes of the world. This he did not deem fair, nor did he care to think of it anymore. Gimli had turned his Dwarven eyes to him and the Hobbits were gazing expectantly at him. They expected him to tell the story of the Paths of the Dead. Recalling the terrible fury and calm on Aragorn's face, Legolas mildly recounted the tale.
x-x-x
Buffy was resting in her small room admiring the play of sunlight on the far walls when a shadow came across the doorway. "It's about time," she said, rolling off of the cot and turning towards the door. "I thought you would never—"
Her voice cut off when she saw who was standing in the doorway. She had been expecting Gandalf to bring her word of Aragorn's debate, but to her surprise, Éomer was standing there.
"Hi," she said, sitting back on her cot and folding her arms. "You're not an old, grey-haired Wizard."
"Well met," he replied curtly, stepping into the room. "I have asked to be the one to bring you tidings, as you are the counsel of Rohan and not some Wizard's pupil."
She tilted her head as she considered his words before a smile broke across her face. "All right," she agreed, leaning back against the wall. "What tidings are there to bring me?"
He really did not know how to respond to her. There had been a moment in front of the fires as Dunharrow that he knew she was the most extraordinary woman he had ever met. Even though it had been a week before, he had yet to confront his feelings on that evening. They had spoken so seldom since and now that he finally had the chance to speak his mind, he was going to do it the right way. His heart betrayed his thoughts, though. How was he to tell this woman that she could surely ride to her doom?
"We are to ride in full-force to the gates of Sauron," Éomer said, watching her face for her reaction. "Aragorn feels it best to confront Sauron head-on in an attempt to turn his eye from the Halflings bent on destroying the Ring."
"I see," she said. She still wouldn't meet his eyes. Her gaze was on the floor as she nodded slowly. "Do I have any say on what happens?"
"I only ask that you ride with Rohan one last time," Éomer said. Buffy looked up at these words and studied his face carefully.
"I'm assuming you mean the last time of my life and not the last time before I become someone you want me to be," she said, her tone level. "I don't cook. I suck at cleaning. I'm even worse at pretty much everything else you said I should know. You've been wrong about me from the beginning."
He took a step backwards as he attempted to evade her infamous temper. "I was wrong about you," he said at last. This time, she looked into his eyes, her gaze curious. "I will not often admit when I am wrong about such things." He caught himself though before he went further and quickly looked away.
She dropped her gaze then and drew her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. "Are you finally going to admit I can kick your ass?" she asked lightly.
He nodded. "Not in such colorful words will I admit this," he said in a deepening tone, "but I will admit you are a superior fighter and one that any man would feel pride to fight alongside of."
She looked stunned. "Okay, I'll take that as an apology," she said slowly. It was as though she were trying to believe that what she had heard was the truth.
"The war will soon be over," Éomer continued, neatly interjecting before she could say anything else. "Rohan will await my return and I hope she will await your return."
Buffy swallowed hard. This is what he wanted to talk about? She shifted uncomfortably as he moved closer to her. She didn't want to admit what her vision had foretold, but if he kept prattling on about finding her a permanent residence in his home country, she was going to have to say something. Besides, didn't returning to Rohan depend on one's survival through war's end? She'd seen Éomer return from the fields with few scratches and bruises, which she assumed was luck.
"I wondered and have been asked whether you would accept any command," Éomer said, looking away. "The men would follow you to any end. They have seen you as a fighter."
"What do you see me as?" she asked him, tipping her face onto her knees so that she could gaze up at him.
"I saw you fight against creatures far larger in stature to yourself and still you had courage and strength of arms," he replied. "I would have once seen you as a unique individual, but now I can call you my friend. It would be an honor to make you a captain or more."
"Why don't we wait and see what happens when the war ends?" Buffy responded. "If we both survive the end of it, we'll talk titles then, okay? We have to concentrate on doing whatever it is we're supposed to do. Fancy names can wait."
He looked at her for a moment before nodding. She rose to walk out of her room when she saw that he hadn't moved. "Was there something else?" she asked curiously.
He gazed up at her with such a look she felt a small shiver start at the base of her spine. She felt her breath catch despite her every intention to put the personal stuff aside. She couldn't even consider him to be anything other than a King she fought under. To consider him as anything else would have far too many consequences…
She had sworn to herself that she would cut off all contact with those she considered dear to her. That unfortunately included the new King of Rohan and his sister, the latter whom she considered a friend.
"I don't think this is the right time to talk about this," she said hurriedly, not wanting him to continue. If he did, she was going to lose something or else have to kill him very, very painfully. The intensity in his eyes alone scared her, and they reminded her of a feeling she had not frequently had in this world. She felt wanted for something other than fighting the latest bad or teaching others to fight. She was wanted as a woman. And here she'd been trying to convince Legolas that they would only remember her as a fighter. Now it seemed to her the impression had gone deeper than she thought. She had to end it now.
"I apologize for your discomfort," he said, glancing down. "I have known you for so little time and yet the differences you have made to my people have brought me to respect you even more."
"Oh," she said slowly, turning back to face him. "You respect me… that's always good."
"I am not one who is comfortable to speak of feelings and emotions," he said, giving an impatient wave of his hand. "I have spent my life in the fields and with the men. To speak of matters of the heart is unknown to me. When I thought you dead, I feared for your safety and the safety of my men. Yet when Gandalf came and said you lived, I felt far more relieved than I thought I should. I have come to care for you a lot more than I should."
"Oh, don't," she said, springing backwards as he took a step towards her. "Really, don't. I can't do this again."
"I have not asked you for anything," he said sternly, seeing the look in her eyes. Although she rarely showed emotion, she looked as though she were ready to run from the room. "You are one of us now, Merilin… Buffy," he said, choosing to use her given name. "To lose you would bring many to despair. They would have it no other way than to see you as you are."
She nodded. She understood what he meant. But there were so many unknowns in her life that for him to actually plan her life after a war she was certain she wouldn't live through wasn't a very smart move. That tended to lead towards things like hope, and that was something she'd forsaken. She'd accepted the prospect of never seeing certain people again. She accepted the fact she wasn't going to live much longer. The Elf understood this, because what Gandalf had told her was that once they arrived in Arda, they would always feel the call of the west. Her explanation that she longed for the same end was nearly the same.
"Thank you," she said, gesturing lamely. "It means something that you think more of me than some common house maid."
"I would not have you any other way," he replied.
That answer didn't really surprise her as much as it should have. He had been fighting her skills since the first time they met, thinking her to be in the kitchen bent over a fire instead of fighting alongside men. It must have been her fighting which had swayed his mind so. To see him look and act the way he had was the only surprising act, but she thought she got off lightly compared to what could have happened. She watched him leave and felt compelled to go after him, but desisted. To do so would mean she was saying something she wasn't sure she was ready to. She had to cut herself off, but these people were making it so damned difficult!
She rose then, traipsing into the gardens. Éowyn must still be in her room, she decided, glancing at the people now circling around the gardens. As she was about to pull back, she caught something out of the corner of her eye that took her by some surprise.
On one of the plants she thought dead, there was a single green leaf growing.
It was a sign, she thought, touching the pale leaf and holding it within her warm grasp. Though cut off from the sunlight, the color seemed to deepen to life in the palm of her hand. The sign was clear. Hope wasn't such a lost thing after all. Hope was what made people believe they had a shadow's chance at accomplishing what they were about to attempt. There was something tucked deep within her as well, hoping that the vision she had seen would not come to pass. There was a hope that she would finally see an end to the evil plaguing all of these good people.
It was also a sign that spoke that not everything that was dead was lost and forsaken. That alone seemed to pull her out of her reverie even as she caught the gaze of a figure across the gardens. She smiled slowly and continued on to the corridors, looking forward to holding up her end to an old promise, one that she would shamefully have to break.
x-x-x
"Something wears on your mind," Éowyn said in her calming tone as Buffy settled into the chair across from her cot, preparing to spend some time with a woman she had promised to look after. Buffy shrugged as she turned back to face the young woman.
"It's nothing," she said quickly, forcing a small smile.
"Your eyes deceive your words," Éowyn said cryptically, leaning against her pillows. "You are riding with them, are you not?"
Buffy nodded. "Yeah, I'm going back to war. Sometimes it seems like it never ends."
"If this war does come to an end, what will become of you, Buffy?" Éowyn asked quietly.
"I don't know," she said, giving the most honest answer. "I've spent so much time fighting that I never look past today to see tomorrow. Some days I think I'm not going to make it, and then I do. Something happens and I pull through and there are always more battles to fight."
"The evil is different here," Éowyn admitted. "There will always be the creatures of darkness that you have spoken of, but the master that guides their arms will not always exist."
"I know," Buffy said, shrugging again.
"There will not always be another battle," Éowyn said, gently prompting Buffy to speak more. Instead, she received an annoyed look before the younger woman sighed. It was obvious that Éowyn had something on her mind. "The journey does not end when you think."
"So the Wizard tells me," Buffy said quietly.
"There is hope now that you remain by my brother's side," Éowyn replied. "You have become one of us."
"That was never my intention," Buffy said, her tone a little sharper than necessary. "I came here to do whatever needed to be done. I did it. My journey should have already ended. But it hasn't. Not yet. Gandalf tells me this final battle will decide the fate of all of the nations here. Éomer came to tell me what they discussed and they decided on an offensive."
"Do you not agree with them?" Éowyn asked.
Buffy shook her head. "No, I agree it's time we take the battle to Sauron. If he's looking for the one Ring and those two Hobbits are trying to slay it, then a diversion would make sense." She paused a moment, uncertain as to how to continue. "A lot of good men may lose their lives."
"A lot of men have already lost their lives in these battles," Éowyn said forcefully, "including my Uncle."
"He was a good man," Buffy said, giving Éowyn a shadow of a smile. "It was an honor to ride to war with him."
"You ride now with Éomer," Éowyn continued, a smile spreading over her lips. For some reason, the motion seemed to make Buffy even more irritable.
"He isn't nearly as sexist as he was," Buffy grudgingly admitted. "And he fights well for a man."
Éowyn looked down at her hands, wondering whether or not she should continue. She finally decided to add a last bit. "He has taken to you," she said slowly. "He finds you formidable in battle."
Buffy frowned before she let out a short, sharp laugh. "He would, wouldn't he?" she asked, tilting her head back, tears coming to her eyes.
"Yes," Éowyn said. The tone of her voice shook Buffy from her amusement. "This is not something he would easily admit to. He has come to care about what would happen to you."
Buffy blinked, suddenly feeling awkward. "Well, he shouldn't," was the only thing she could think of to say.
"It is difficult to halt what has already started," Éowyn warned. "I see more than he would care to admit. He strays from a topic he finds disconcerting to discuss. You are one of them."
That would certainly explain their conversation that morning, Buffy thought with a shiver.
"If the war ends and you both still live," Éowyn quietly continued on, "he would see to it that you were made a residence in Rohan. You are his greatest knight and even he would be foolish to admit otherwise."
"I didn't think he was as bad as they made him out to be," Buffy mused, thinking of what she had heard of the men. "He's no teddy bear, but there is something about him."
"I wish to see my brother happy," Éowyn said, starting to feel annoyed that Buffy wasn't catching on as quickly as she would have liked her to. Buffy was supposed to be Gandalf's left-hand woman. She was acting as stubborn as her brother was at this moment. No wonder he had feelings for her… she would be as unlikely to yield to him as he was to her! "You would be—"
"Okay," Buffy said, standing up suddenly. "That is just a bad, bad direction to go."
Éowyn looked up at her in surprise. "Merilin?" she asked in her most innocent tone.
"No," Buffy said, swallowing hard as she felt the discomfort return. "Don't even think for a second that your brother and I could… I mean, he's a good fighter, but as… no." She shook her head quickly. She wasn't about to tell Éowyn about her vision. But, if by some miracle she managed to survive whatever Sauron had to throw at them, the idea of being courted by a King was about as unlikely as Buffy winning Prom Queen. "He's a King and I'm… dead. Or I was." And, she reminded herself, soon would be again.
But Éowyn was still smiling at her.
"What?" Buffy asked, her old snap in her tone.
"You did not deny that you felt nothing towards him," she said, tilting her head thoughtfully.
She knew she had forgotten something. But she wasn't about to lie to the one woman she could count on. Hell, any woman who would hide her identity and fight in a war alongside men was worth trusting at the most opportune moments. Fortunately, this did not count as one of them.
"It wouldn't matter if I did," she heard her own voice said, as flippantly as though Éowyn had asked about the weather.
"You fight because you were chosen to, as you have told me before," Éowyn said, her eyes boring into Buffy's. "He fights because he must."
Buffy could see where Éowyn was going with this. "Even if I were to live past whatever Aragorn is predicting is going to happen out there, it wouldn't change anything. I came here to help end a war. Once the war is over, my journey ends."
"What will become of you?" Éowyn asked, getting back to her original question.
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I'm still waiting to figure it out. These things aren't ever easy… in fact, sometimes they're damned hard."
"But, you were brought here, were you not?" Éowyn asked, gazing at the other woman as she slowly sank back into her chair. "Perhaps now, those who have chosen your fate will give the choice to you."
Buffy nodded slowly. The two stared silently at one another while Buffy was fighting her feelings. Confronting them was one thing, but having someone convince her she felt one way while she was half-convinced she felt the other was a whole new thing. Half of her wanted to leave this room and part as painlessly as possible. The other half didn't want to move. She wanted to feel the comfort of companionship, one last time.
She may never have this again, she thought, surveying Éowyn with a pensive look. She'd always had female friends like Willow and even, to an extent, Anya who had powers and fought boldly and bravely at whatnot. It had to be the same thing, right?
Rising, she finally left Éowyn to her own room, deciding to check up on her the following morning. It could very well be the last time she ever saw the woman.
On her way back to her own room, however, she saw a figure lingering in the distance. He was half-set in shadows, but using her keen eyesight, she was able to spot him. As she drew nearer, however, she realized that she had no idea who he was.
"Hello," she greeted, stepping up behind him.
He turned and gazed at her, first with surprise and then, after he inclined his head, with respect. "My lady," he said, making to move past her.
"I don't know you," she said, her voice sharp. He turned to regard her again.
"I thought you one of the healers in these Houses," he said, indicating Buffy's long white robes.
"I'm a patient," she replied. "I was being treated here."
His eyes quickly inspected her up and down. "You do not look as though you need treatment," he said at last.
"Which is why I said I was being treated," she said dryly. "But I figured I should get to know everyone here and I don't know you."
He looked amused as he scanned her.
"My name is Buffy," she said, tapping her chest.
"That is not a name of this world," he said, his eyes at last meeting hers.
"You're telling me," she scoffed.
"Where are you from?" he asked, his eyes more intense now.
"I came with Rohan," she said quietly. "That's where I'm from." In a way, that was the closest thing to the truth. She wasn't about to tell some poor unsuspecting man that she'd landed in the middle of an Elvish paradise.
"You fought in this battle?" the man asked, his eyebrows lifting in surprise.
"Oh, yeah," Buffy said, grimacing. "And now I get to go and die in the next one."
He was somewhat stricken with her tone of voice. "My name is Faramir," he finally offered, stepping into the light. She blinked up at him before nodding.
"I have heard your name before," she said quietly. Her eyes quickly looked down. "It's good to see you back on your feet again. I hope you get well soon."
Offering him a hasty smile, she said a polite farewell before making an exit.
He was the first man she had met from Gondor, she realized as she sat back on her cot, drawing her knees to her chest. She was lost in thought when she heard a gentle knock on her doorway. She looked up to see Aragorn standing there.
"Hey," she said, quickly relaxing her defensive stance as he stepped inside the doorway.
"I just wanted you to know that we will leave at first light," he said, glancing around the tiny room.
"Okay," she said, shrugging. "I'll be ready."
He caught the nonchalant look on her face and frowned. "Is there something on your mind?"
She slowly shook her head. "Nope… I'm just doing what I'm supposed to be doing, right?" she asked. She watched as his head bobbed up and down before sighing. "Éomer said something about going headlong into a suicide mission. It sounds like fun."
"We will only do this to give Frodo a chance," Aragorn replied solemnly. "We do this not for ourselves."
"In other words, it's the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the all," Buffy said in a tired voice. "I got it."
"I would understand if—"
But she cut him off by holding out one of her hands. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Aragorn," she said, seeing the put out look on his face. "I know what's at stake. You may not know where I've come from or where I've been, but I can tell you that I've been here and done this before." She paused. "I figured it was only a matter of time before one of you men decided on a suicide mission to get your kicks."
Aragorn attempted to smile at her vague attempt at humor, but she didn't.
"I know that you have only been here a short time," he said seriously, taking the stool near the doorway. "Either we will achieve victory, which is unlikely as all, or else we will all perish to give one Hobbit his final chance of succeeding a mission that started nearly a year ago."
"As I've said, I know," she said, glancing at him. "It's not like I don't appreciate your need to justify your decision, but… I can't justify how much I really don't care. I know that I'm here to fight in your wars. That's great and all, but I know that I exist here only to fight in your wars. You're supposed to be a King who's set to achieve this huge victory. I can't even begin to think past tomorrow or the day after that." She knew she was going too far, but she no longer cared about the consequences. She wasn't going to live past the final battle to find out. All she had left was this night and every single night which drew her closer to her own death. "I will go with the Rohirrim tomorrow," she said at last. "That's where I was sent first. It is how I want to go out."
Aragorn left shortly thereafter. Buffy remained on her cot even well into the night, her eyes lost in thought. Tomorrow she was leaving the security of this tall city and was about to venture off into the unknown, going against a far larger army. Knowing what was to come, she finally felt her body succumb to sleep.
She didn't know, however, that another figure arrived shortly after to watch over her as she slept. But, for some reason, despite her best efforts, she no longer felt alone.
x-x-x
In the next part, a looming battle leads to one couple's happiness, while another stands on the brink of disaster.
Éowyn and Faramir are love. I have forever enjoyed this pairing and getting to write a chapter that focuses nearly solely on them is completely awesome. I am so glad I wrote it in! I know it may seem like filler, alas… but other Éowyn/Faramir fans may appreciate it. Their time together in the film was eye-roll worthy. It also leads to a few more relationship developments as Buffy finally learns about Arwen.