Chapter 2: The Hall

Once everyone had stepped off the train, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Mark and Kevin stepped onto one of the carriages pulled by something Mark and Kevin could not see. When the castle came into view Mark said, "What's that thing?"

"That's the school," answered Hermione.

"Ha ha," Mark laughed, "No seriously what is it?"

"The school," said Harry, "Don't it's got all the comforts of a home."

"Yeah?" said Mark, "Whose home? Dracula's?"

The carriages pulled up in front of the castle and all the students rushed into the Entrance Hall. When he saw the castle, Mark said, "Are we still in the 21st Century?"

After the sorting of the first years and Mark and Kevin (both Gryffindor), Dumbledore gave the usual beginning of year speech. Once he had finished, the feast began and everyone dug in. Once eyeing the feast, Mark said, "There aren't any pizzas, Kevin."

"Look," said Kevin, "Just put some stuff on a plate and hope everything clashes."

Kevin then turned to Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were asking many questions,

"Which school do you two go to?" asked Harry

"The New York State Academy of Magic," replied Kevin.

"How do you get there?" asked Ron.

"There's a line of buses," said Kevin.

"Kevin," said Mark, "Does this clash?"

Kevin looked at Mark's plate to see a pile of ten cupcakes, five pieces of steak, two helpings of potato salad and ice cream piled on top, "No Mark," said Kevin, "It's waging all out war."

"Where did you find him?" asked Ron to Kevin.

"He lived a few blocks down from me, when I was ten," answered Kevin, "He had a PlayStation, which was the only reason I ever went over."

"You spent time with him just because he had PlayStation?" asked Hermione.

"I'd have been friends with Hitler if he had a PlayStation," said Kevin.

Just then a huge burp came from Mark and he returned to stuffing his face, "And people say that dinner conversation is a lost art," said Kevin to Harry, Ron and Hermione.

Once everyone had finished dinner, they were ushered to their Houses. When everyone reached the Gryffindor common room, most of them hurried off to bed except for the five friends who all gathered around the fireplace to talk. When they had all sat down, Mark pulled out a magazine with Lesbian Galore written on its cover, "You brought that?" asked Kevin.

"How did he get a magazine like that?" asked Harry.

"Well," said Kevin, "Remember how I said I only went to his house because he had a PlayStation?"

"Yes," the trio answered together.

"Well, there was another reason," said Mark, "He has two mothers and they're both…gay."

"That's the other reason you went over to his house?" asked Hermione.

"For your information," said Kevin, "They make very good porn."

"I still can't believe you lost the video I lent you," said Mark, to Kevin.

Kevin smiled, "Yes," he said (lying), "I lost it."

Hermione said, "Well, I'm off to bed," she got up and went up the stairs leading to the girl's dormitories. Mark began giggling, "What?" asked Ron.

"He's just remembering the time he and I snuck into the girl's changing room back home," replied Kevin, also giggling.

Harry and Ron looked at them in shock, "What?" said Kevin, stopping, "We don't do that."

"Well we should go to bed," said Harry.

"Yeah, Ok," said Kevin getting up.

"You guys go," said Mark, "I'm gonna come up later."

"Mark," said Kevin, "You are not gonna find a way to sneak into the girl's dormitories."

After a long silence, Mark said, "Alright," and went upstairs. Once upstairs, Kevin whispered to Mark, "We'll think of a way tomorrow."