Journey's End
Pairings: There are some book pairings.
Events: This fiction is one that follows the path of Rohan through the end of the War of the Ring. Beyond the end of the story, there are chapters concerning the first few years of the Fourth Age, after the passing of the Ringbearers into the West.
Disclaimer: J.R.R. Tolkien owns 'The Lord of the Rings' book series. Joss Whedon controls the world of Buffy. Peter Jackson and company own 'The Lord of the Rings' films. We only own a part of the plot.
Summary: Buffy is summoned to fulfill an oath before she can rest in peace.
In Gratitude: It's just… sad. Our infant story is growing up… and if you want a response, you'll have to sign in, apparently.
XinnLajgin- Now you know how I felt. I was in tears when I read her first draft. And no, Gandalf was merely hinting at something that was highly and heavily addressed in this chapter. Buffy will not fall in love with someone else, but... there is a difference between marrying into royalty and being crowned royalty. Just a little hint for the last chapter.
General Mac - Thank you! However, this story is almost over!
S.mary- Thank you! That was so sweet of you!
MorenaEvensong - Thank you ever so very much. I will say that the Lord of the Rings series is my favorite book series in the world. As much as I love JK Rowling and Jane Evanovich, Tolkien rules my soul. It is a beautiful world to play in and I'm glad we had the idea and the opportunity to do so. I'm glad you've enjoyed the story.
evilelvengoddess- I know the Sunnydale part was small, but it was necessary. I felt that Buffy would relax more into her role if she knew everyone she loved and cared for was okay. However, I knew that if she dwelled too much on it, it would only trip the story up. I don't know. It sort of influences her future decisions as seen in this chapter. Thank you for reviewing!
B/legolaragorn lover - I honestly have no idea. I do have a few ideas I have been tossing around, but nothing to motivate the full-blown epics these have become. Katrina, however, has expressed an interest in writing another crossover, so we'll see where the wind takes us.
Chapter Summary: The Ringbearers past into the West.
Chapter Warning: Life has been busy. I finally had time to read through and make a few last minute edits. This is partially where the original story ended… and I think you can figure out where. There were just some… things that got switched around. Here we are at the penultimate ending. Enjoy!
x-x-x
Chapter 29
Farewell
By Alyson Kay
x-x-x
There was a scent of the upcoming summer in the air as a single white steed rode steadily towards the hilly city of Rohan. Edoras appeared a hazy beacon in cool sunshine and, for the first time in as long as he could remember, the city no longer resembled a graveyard. He recalled King Théoden's funeral and realized then that he had missed this city.
Two guards awaited him at the front gate. They both gazed at him, as though they couldn't believe their eyes.
"You wouldn't keep an old man waiting forever, would you?" he asked both guards politely after they had exchanged an incredulous glance. He felt like laughing, but held it in as the first guard came forward.
"What business do you have in the Mark?" he asked in a curt tone.
"I wish to see Lady Merilin," Gandalf replied. "Is she not in Edoras?"
The first guard gave a quick nod. "She is within the city. I will have her sent to you."
"Or perhaps you could allow this old man inside your revered city," Gandalf replied. "I have excellent standing with Lady Merilin."
"We only know her as Buffy," the second guard said, speaking up with a grimace. "She threatened to remove our entrails had we kept calling her Merilin." He dropped his voice dramatically. "King Éomer even considered an edict for her actions to become legal and commonplace."
Gandalf barely restrained a bemused smirk as the second guard rode over to unlock the gate and pull the heavy door open. Two more guards on foot appeared, pushing both doors open to allow Gandalf and Shadowfax entrance to the city. The first guard quickly whispered an instruction to the other two, who departed at once. "Buffy will meet you at Meduseld," the first guard said in a clear voice. "I have sent the others to look for her. This is her time to guard the city and as can tell, we have done what she has asked of us."
"She is a capable leader," Gandalf murmured as he passed them. "Perhaps I should pass on a hint of a promotion?"
"Oh, surely not, lord," the second guard said jovially. "We wish to remain in her services. King Éomer would hardly disagree with her assignment and she is free to move about Rohan as she pleases."
"That was most informative," Gandalf replied, turning Shadowfax slightly to say his goodbyes. "It has been a pleasure, gentlemen. Now, if you will excuse me, I must find my Slayer."
The two guards who had been ordered to find Buffy found her behind Meduseld. She had taken Elena for the afternoon and the two had sought refuge in a tree with particularly high limbs. Both were nestled on one of the higher branches, covered in a blanket. They were both sleeping when the soldiers arrived. One bent down to recover a book whose pages were fluttering in the brisk winds. "My lady?" one asked, reaching up and taking her ankle, giving it a brisk shake. "Buffy!"
She blinked and slowly turned to face him, her hazel eyes shining behind her gray blanket. "Oh," she sighed, yawning. "It's you."
"Mithrandir has arrived," he said solemnly. "He will meet you at Meduseld if you wish."
"Yeah," Buffy said, sitting up, but making sure that she didn't disturb the small girl sleeping on the other side of her. "I'm coming. Look out." She jumped off of the branch, landing in a slight crouch. The two men watched as she straightened, stretched and ran her fingers through her hair. "Well…" she said as they eyed her curiously. "You can go away now."
They finally caught her hint and hurried off. Shaking her head, she checked on Elena and, smiling, made her way to the Golden Hall, where Gandalf was waiting for her on the front stoop.
"Ah, Buffy," Gandalf said, taking in her wrinkled dress, unkempt hair and sleepy eyes. "You look rather well for a lady of your stature."
"Just because you're old doesn't mean I won't hit you," she growled, but she smiled as she said it. "It's been about two years now," she said, leaning against a column as she used her hand to stifle a yawn. "What brings you back to Rohan?"
"I believe if you remember our last conversation that I requested you to travel with me when I made my final journey," Gandalf replied serenely. "That time has now come."
The words hung like a chill between the two as Buffy straightened. "What?" she asked uncertainly. "You're… leaving?"
"My enemy has been defeated and my purpose has been served," Gandalf replied. "There is no nobler way to end this life and to move on to what begins a great new journey. The time has come for the Three Rings to pass into the West."
"I see," she said, although she sounded a bit tentative still.
"If I were to need a suitable successor, I would pass my knowledge into your more than capable hands," Gandalf said kindly. "I know you have high expectations of Rohan, but I could expect nothing less of you. I know that you have led a complicated lifetime in the past and would not wish to place you in that position again. But if the world were to come into mortal peril, I have the highest confidence that you would do whatever necessary to ensure the survival of those you hold most dear."
"I would," she said, and he saw that she was smiling somewhat. "It's not that I don't want to go Gandalf. It's just that…"
"The men would no doubt miss you," Gandalf said in a conversational tone. "As would the King. Speaking of such matters, where is Éomer?"
"He will return this evening from the Eastfold," Buffy replied, folding her arms. "And this has nothing to do with the men or with him."
"I will leave come dawn," Gandalf said. "There is no time to waste and I have given you enough time to set your affairs in order."
"Okay," Buffy said, unfolding her arms. "You've got yourself a traveler." A sudden cold breeze came from the mountains and she lifted her hands to cover herself. "Even after two years, this weather still takes some getting used to. A cold weather fan, I am not. Come on… I'll get you a room and a warm meal. It's the least I could do after all you've done for me."
Gandalf followed Buffy into Meduseld and took her up on her offer. After a warm bowl of stew and a mug of tea, Gandalf felt refreshed. His Slayer, on the other hand, sat at the opposite end of the long table, staring at a goblet she did not touch. Her face wore a troubled expression, yet neither spoke. After swallowing the last of his stew, he finally chose to speak up. "You have been silent."
"Yeah," she said offhandedly. "I'm okay."
"Your demeanor would suggest otherwise," Gandalf pried gently. "I will not pretend that my former pupil is not troubled."
Buffy gazed up at him inquiringly before shaking her head slightly. "I don't know," she said at last. "I'm doing what I think is the right thing to do. But I—" Her words were cut off by a flurry of activity. Elena was led in by one of the Meduseld guards and she sped over to Buffy.
"Why did you not wake me?" the girl asked, glancing questioningly up at the small blonde.
"I'm sorry," Buffy apologized, looking immensely relieved by Elena's diversion. "Why don't you sit down and eat something? You hardly ate anything at lunch." Elena complied by pulling herself into one of the large chairs and eyeing the empty plate before her with interest. Taking notice of the intrigued look on the Wizard's face, she gently introduced the two again. "Elena, you remember Gandalf, right?"
"Gandalf the White?" the little girl asked, turning to gaze at Gandalf with interest. "Buffy has told me many stories about you."
"They were all good, I hope," Gandalf said, smiling at the younger girl. Despite the fact they were not related by blood, there was a certain similarity between the two. They both had fair hair and clear, hazel eyes.
"Well, Buffy told me about one time with a sword and your staff and—"
"Elena, this is the dining table," Buffy interrupted, a faint flush appearing on her cheeks. "What are Éomer's rules?"
"No talk of blood, gore or eviscerations at the table," Elena chanted as though the words were well-rehearsed. "I understand, Buffy."
Buffy leaned across and patted Elena's head. "Good girl." Turning, she began spooning large amounts of food from various platters onto her daughter's plate. Gandalf watched her in fascination until at last she pulled back and Elena tucked in. Gandalf seemed surprised that one so small could consume so much. Then again, he thought wryly, her adopted mother could eat an entire crate of vegetables and a roast pig and still manage to make room for more. Apparently they were both blessed with speedy metabolisms and large palettes.
After lunch, Elena was sent off to play with the children who had just gotten out of school. Buffy followed her as far as the stables before disappearing inside. Taking leave of her, Gandalf gave himself a tour of the once-familiar Meduseld. Little had changed since his last tour, which had been more than three years before. The throne room was empty except for a single chair with a large banner behind it. Streaks of sunlight filled the large room. Small vats of burning oil decorated the corners. Standards past and present hung on the walls. It was a comforting room to see, although he was disappointed by the fact that only one chair sat upon the raised dais in the back of the room. He left the empty hall behind; somehow it didn't feel right for him to be there.
He thought of Shadowfax, his Meara steed that he had returned to the royal family at last. He thought that with a borrowed steed from Rohan he could avoid trouble with her King. He knew that Buffy could have done great things with the Mearas. His only regret was that she was not a part of this royal family. Neither was she married to the King, as he had expected by now. She was more stubborn than he thought. It really was a great pity, but in a way, it made this entire journey that much easier.
x-x-x
It was nearing sunset by the time King Éomer and his knights returned from the east. Near exhaustion and tired of riding for nearly two days straight, he welcomed the sight of Meduseld. Though darkness had descended over Edoras, he could feel the light and warmth from within.
Buffy was inside her room, packing her traveling bag as Elena hopped on her bed behind her. Though Elena was making an attempt at asking hard questions, Buffy hadn't answered one. She didn't know when she would be back and she wasn't really sure why she was going in the first place. She couldn't really explain why Gandalf was leaving nor could she explain exactly who the White Wizard was. Of course, there was that whole promise thing. But she had made a promise more than a year ago that she had chosen this over being the wizard's pupil. It was going to be hard to tell Éomer differently. He was not going to be happy when he discovered his second Marshal was leaving for a long journey. The worst part was, she didn't know if she would ever come back. Knowing that there was a distant road before her, her surroundings appeared differently. Everything had a new feeling to it, as though she had just arrived and was glancing around for the first time.
"Buffy?" Elena asked in a small voice behind her. "Are you all right?"
Realizing she was standing over her bag with a stack of under-things in her arms, she quickly added them to her bag and turned to face the small child. "I'm sorry. I'm okay." Seeing from the open hole in her wall facing east, darkness had fallen. "You getting tired yet? You were out playing for hours this afternoon."
Elena, whose cheeks were slightly wind-burnt, nodded enthusiastically. "We took a ride into the valley," she replied cheerfully.
Buffy felt a small sense of pride for this girl. "I'm glad you had a good time," she added, tucking a blade and holder into her bag before sealing it. "It's good to get out and play."
"But the time will come where I must attend school," Elena said, finally sitting down after bouncing on Buffy's bed for the past hour as her adoptive parent packed her bag.
"Oh, Elena," Buffy said, dropping her bag by the door and hurrying to the girl's side, "don't grow up too fast. There will always be time to learn. You've been learning while you've lived here, haven't you?"
"Yes," Elena replied, her brow furrowed. "But I wish to go to school with the others."
"I'm afraid you'll have to wait for autumn now," Buffy chided as she retrieved her traveler's cloak from beneath Elena's feet. "Besides, summer's the best time of all. No school, no learning… no nothing," she grinned. Dropping her cloak on top of her bag, she was about to return when a knock sounded on the door behind her. Elena quickly stood up and began dancing from foot to foot again. Buffy called out, "It's open!". The door creaked open and Éomer appeared, wearing a stony expression. He looked exhausted as he walked into the room, welcoming the cool air. "Hello," she greeted him as he walked in. "I was hoping you'd show up."
His eyes drifted from a giddy seven-year-old to the traveling bag and cloak near the doorway. "The whispers are true, then?" he asked her lightly.
Buffy felt a sudden bout of shame and gave a slow nod. "Yeah," she said, biting her lip. She slowly gestured to Elena, who had jumped off of the bed onto the floor. Éomer seemed to steady himself and turned to the small girl blinking up at him.
"You must be tired," he said with his tired smile, examining the girl's eyes. "You look dead on your feet. Come, now." Leaning down, he lifted Elena into his arms and made for the stairs. As he stepped into the loft, Buffy heard them talking quietly. Stepping over to the fire, she began undressing. As she pulled on her nightdress she heard heavier footfalls behind her.
"When will you go?" he asked quietly, sidestepping her to tend to her fire. She watched as the red embers set his face into shadow and shivered slightly.
"Dawn tomorrow," Buffy replied, crossing the room and attempting to fix her bed after Elena had jumped on it.
"When I was told that the White Wizard had returned, I thought it folly," Éomer replied. There was a hard tone to his voice now that Buffy wasn't sure she liked.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I didn't know he was coming," Buffy admitted. "He just showed up and said that he was headed towards the Havens."
Éomer sat down on the edge of her bed, watching as she continued to shuffle back and forth. "To this, you agreed to?" he asked caustically.
Buffy paused, holding her thick winter cloak to her body before sighing. "I told him I would go about two years ago," she said, going along with the truth. "If I had known then where I would be now, I would take it back."
He saw that she was looking troubled. "It is the Wizard's fault for bringing this unto you," he deadpanned. "But I had your word that you would give this up."
"I don't know what his plans for me are," she added, looking at him. She looked guilty. "I really don't know what to say. The way everything has gone… the timing just sucks right now."
Éomer, who had been looking forward to returning home to spend time with her soon found that he would much rather be handling property disputes in the Eastfold. Before he could ask what was forefront on his mind, she interrupted his thoughts.
"Don't ask me when I'll be back," she said, hanging the cloak inside her armoire. "I don't even know where it is we're going."
"That was not what I wished to ask you," he replied, rising and moving towards her. "I was concerned that you are unhappy here."
She turned to look at him, scandalized. "What makes you think that?" she asked, aghast.
"You are one who has been on great terms with many beings in this land," he began uncertainly. "I fear that you are unsettled and long for another life, away from all of this. I have not given you all that you have been looking for."
She saw the guilt in his face and reached up to touch his cheek. "Don't even think for a moment that you haven't made a difference," she whispered. "You gave me a life, a job, a home… what kind of person am I to decide that I don't want that anymore? I'm only doing this because I promised him I would two years ago. It doesn't mean I don't want this life, I do. I just have to do this."
"I fear that you will not return," he said, watching as she moved away from him. "All who go to the Grey Havens take the passage west. You are a friend of many and hold a great respect amongst those who matter… they will not turn you away should you decide to take the journey."
Buffy swallowed hard, glad that her back was facing him. "I don't know what's going to happen," she confessed. "I don't know what to expect. All I know is that he's leaving to go off into some unknown land." She felt a comforting hand on her back and felt all of her resolve begin to crumble. "I don't want to leave all of this behind. I have so many plans for what I want to do… and now I don't know if I'll ever be able to do anything. I don't want to let this go."
His opposite arm came to rest over her shoulders as he drew her back into him. "These thoughts must have been causing you great distress," he said slowly.
"You have no idea," she replied sadly. "And here you were, coming back from four weeks on the open range. I'm sorry I ruined your homecoming."
He leaned down to press a kiss upon her head. "You have ruined nothing, Buffy," he sighed. "I only wish we could have more time together." He glanced towards the loft and felt her body tauten in his grasp. "What of Elena?"
"I want her to stay here," Buffy said in a small voice. "I couldn't imagine her living with anyone else. And she wants to go to school this fall. That girl has a thirst for knowledge." With a fond smile, Elena was reminding her somewhat of Willow and her desire to learn and gain a great education. "She's so smart… she deserves everything in this world and I wish I could give it to her."
"You gave her the greatest gift of all," Éomer replied, still holding onto her. "You have given her your heart."
"I do love her," Buffy admitted. "She's like the daughter I never had. Maybe she's the daughter I'll never have."
She felt his grip tighten slightly before he released her. "You should rest," he decided as he faced her. "You have a long journey ahead of you."
"You look tired," Buffy replied as she eyed her bed longingly.
"I have not slept in days," he admitted, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I must soon attend to things at Helms Deep."
She let out a low whistle and smirked. "We have such great timing, don't we?"
"I only wish that things could have been different," he added with a small smile of his own. "But perhaps such things were not meant to be."
There was an awkward silence the fell between them. Then, with a soft goodnight and a parting wave, Éomer left her room. She walked over and sealed the door and rested her forehead against the cold wood. Sighing, she pulled back and threw herself onto her bed, her thoughts already miles away. For two years now she had toyed with the idea that she could actually be someone of some influence. She was a Marshal and could wield a sword better than most of the men stationed beneath her. However, she wanted more. And now, it seemed, she may never get that chance.
Gandalf entered the stables just after dawn the following morning to find that his Slayer was not only awake, but Sador was already dressed to go. She was next to the mare, threading her traveling bag onto her saddle. Her face wore a tired expression that seemed to spell gloom about her. Gandalf set his own things aside and gazed openly at her. "You are awake early," he said conversationally.
"Well, we've got a big day ahead of us," she said, not looking at him. Satisfied that her traveling bag was not going to fall off during their journey, she lifted Sador's reins and led her to the open end of the stable.
After she had left the stables, Gandalf joined her a few moments later, an older horse at his side.
"What, no Shadowfax?" she asked, glancing at the Wizard in surprise.
"I have returned her to the royal family," Gandalf replied quietly. "You see, not all of us have excellent standing with the King of Rohan."
To his surprise, she looked saddened at his words. Lifting her chin, she spied a figure on the precipice overlooking the city. She could recognize him from anywhere. "Give me a minute?" she asked, glancing at the Wizard. Seeing who she had been looking at, he nodded. She left Sador in his care and quickly swept away.
Éothain suddenly appeared at his elbow, gazing at Sador. "What journey is this?" he asked curiously, gazing at the horse that she had recently given to him.
"The final journey," Gandalf replied steadily, his eyes on a sudden figure that had appeared on the high deck. "Worry not, my dear First Marshal. This horse will be returned to you, as will the one I ride. If she says something, she will follow it through to the end."
As the door closed swiftly behind her, Buffy knew that she had been given away. But she couldn't leave without saying goodbye. Turning, Éomer saw walking tremulously towards him. She wore a dark tunic and trousers with laced boots and the emerald cloak he had given her for her life day (or as she called it, her birthday) the year before. It had come with a standard of her own, as well as a fashionable new wardrobe made for her lack of height despite the fact she was only a few years younger than he. He was pleased to see that she wore it now, but there was a light in her eyes he wasn't sure he liked. He turned away from her slightly and stared out into the valleys. "You should go."
"I'm about to," she replied. "I just… I had to say goodbye."
He took a great breath and decided to finally be honest with his true intentions and emotions. It was difficult for him to talk of his feelings, but even more difficult still was the fact that there was a great chance he would never see her again. "I had hoped that you would accept Rohan as your home. This land, this California you spoke of… Rohan it is not. I know that Rohan could not hold your interest for long. I knew that your heart belonged elsewhere, and yet I had hoped you could look past that."
"I did," she murmured, reaching out for him. He let her hand fall on his arm, yet he forced himself to continue.
"When I asked you to choose between being a Wizard's pupil and a lady of the Mark, my intentions were not clear. These people have accepted you as one of them. I have accepted you as someone I could see by my side for the rest of our lives. Whatever choice you made, I had hoped—"
"I made the right choice," she said, her voice rising. "I chose Rohan. This… this is just a promise I made to a Wizard before I came back here. There is still so much to do here. You know that. You know that I can do it, too, or you wouldn't have given me my position. Don't get me wrong," she continued at his dubious expression, "I don't want to go. But if I took back my word now…"
"As I have said plainly, you are a friend to many," he replied. "There is no fault in that." Seeing the Wizard's expression as he led the two horses along with his First Marshal from the stables, he slowly lowered his arm and her hand fell aside. "You must go. You must do what you will."
He heard her sigh as she moved off. Before she reached the door, her hand inches from the cold wood; she lifted her head and turned to face him. "I loved you."
He glanced round at her, his expression unreadable. He opened his mouth to speak, but the door was already swinging shut. She had disappeared. He frowned slightly as he re-thought her words. Finally, he glanced back to see two horses heading briskly west from Edoras.
x-x-x
Though a long journey it was, Buffy couldn't deny she learned nothing. They had headed west past Isengard, or what the Ents had turned it into. It proved to be a worthy sanctuary, one that she would have liked to visit at a time. He took her along the coast to the old battle plains and then straight north to Rivendell. The Elvish paradise was beautiful, she thought as they strode over the bridge. She knew that more than a month had passed since they had started their journey, for he wanted to show her every single rock and flower that existed. Though she grew tired of his long lectures, she had a feeling that what she learned now would be with her forever no matter where she went.
Rivendell was a sanctuary to itself. She was reunited with Lord Elrond and, to her great surprise, Lady Galadriel. A small reprieve lasted a half week as Buffy found herself surrounded by a paradise. If she had ever went on a spa retreat, she would have imagined something like this.
"You like it here."
It wasn't a question. Buffy glanced behind her to see one of the twin sons of Elrond approaching her. His face wore a slight frown as he saw her saddened expression. "It's soothing," she confessed, glancing back over the river. The warm summery air was perfect, she decided. They had ridden from Rohan, which was still in the chill of late spring into a deep summer in an Elvish paradise. They had ridden into the realm without need for a cloak or blanket. Even Sador welcomed the Elves warmly.
"If you were to spend a lifetime here, you would see it for what it truly was," the son replied, glancing around at the lush, green surroundings. "This was created as a place to hide from great enemies."
"Really?" she asked. "Cool."
He did not ask her to elaborate on their cultural differences. Instead, he bowed his head and retreated back to the small haven behind her.
This was one thing she did not enjoy about traveling. Moving from one battle plain to another was one thing, because her Slayer sense was keen enough to pick up past signals that really suggested that this land was scarred and marked with the blood of many. It was when they were stopped that she let her thoughts dwell on the past. She soon realized that she missed Rohan. She missed the steady pace. She missed the battle drills and the training and the scouting and everything about her job. She missed that life. She was now facing the life as a Wizard's pupil, as Éomer had called it.
She felt her thoughts sober and she turned away from the bridge and the gallant river flowing freely below her. Whenever her thoughts turned to Éomer, she felt a great sense of regret. Why hadn't she done something before she had left? Would it have been easier to take a journey knowing she had something to return to? She knew she had something worth returning to, but the journey beyond was glimmering ahead of her, both beautiful and forbidden. There was a past that she was content with, but there was the unknown future awaiting her.
One thing was for certain: these Elves knew how to dress themselves. She gazed lovingly at the softest material she had ever worn. Lightweight and a beautiful shade of old gold, this gown made her feel carefree. Despite her love for her leather fighting gear, she really loved dressing up if the occasion called for it.
Crossing her arms, she returned to her haven, but she felt as though her heart just hadn't caught up with her yet.
x-x-x
In Edoras in the Golden Hall, Éomer set down his spoon. Across the table was Elena, eating her second helping of vegetables. It really was amazing how much this small girl could eat. He watched her fondly for a few moments before Elena took notice. Buffy had often told him how great of a father he was going to be one day. It never did occur to him until now that Buffy's absence meant that Elena was now his responsibility.
"What is it?" Elena asked in a small voice, reaching for her goblet. He hid a smile as she practically had to kneel on her seat to reach it. She was still so small…
"It is nothing," he replied, turning back to his meat and potatoes.
"Were you thinking of Buffy?" she asked timidly.
He glanced up at her again and saw her scrutinizing look. For some reason, she looked very similar to Buffy at this moment. "I was attempting not to," he admitted. "Thinking about her is painful at times."
"She has been gone for so long," Elena said sadly. "She did not say if she would return."
Éomer didn't have the heart to tell the girl where she was meaning to go. "Know this," he said gently, pushing his plate aside. "She cares for you very much. She loves you as a daughter."
Elena looked rather flattered at these words. "To hear a great King tell me that a woman I consider a mother loves me as a daughter," she marveled softly. "I am relieved. But I am sad because I do not know if I can ever tell her that I love her as a mother. She took me in when I had nothing. She gave me something I had always desired… a family." She paused as she shyly eyed the King. Already he had noticed a keen difference to her appearance. She normally wore a tunic and trousers as her foster mother did. But since Buffy had departed before mid-Summer, she now wore the same long gowns his sister, Éowyn, had once favored. Never before had he seen this transformation. He was astonished how much like her she appeared.
Éomer smiled gently at her. "She has a way of showing great strength in such matters," he told her. His smile saddened as he glanced back at his plate and reached for his goblet. "Though you are not kin by blood, you look like her."
Elena smiled timidly at him. "Her guards have told me the same," she admitted. Her smile was more subdued as she turned back to her plate. "I miss her."
"I miss her, too."
That said, they exchanged a warm look before returning to their dinner in silence.
x-x-x
Once they had left Rivendell, Buffy and Gandalf journeyed north. Gandalf had confessed to her on the morning they left that Galadriel and Elrond would be taking the journey to the Havens. They would be leaving shortly after, but Gandalf also had one last stop on their journey north.
Buffy was surprised then when they came upon Hobbits. She was stunned to learn that these small creatures lived so far away. They were so small and yet they moved quite quickly. The Shire was lush and green with small grass-covered houses fit for beings three feet tall. But this journey did not seem to be in vain. Gandalf also admitted that they were picking up a few new passengers.
"We're taking Hobbits with us?" she asked in surprise one warm morning as they journeyed through the country. There were Hobbit children following them at a safe distance, but the whispers were still distracting nonetheless.
"There is one in particular I am anxious for you to meet," Gandalf replied, drawing his horse to a halt before a small hut with an unwelcoming look to it. "If you would please remain here, I will return shortly."
Buffy waited for a few minutes until he returned with a familiar Hobbit wearing a big smile. "Frodo!" she exclaimed, dismounting her steed and sweeping the smaller figure into her arms. "I didn't know you were coming with us!"
"I must first see to my Uncle," Frodo admitted once Buffy had set him back onto his two feet. "I am pleased to see that you have come," he added in an undertone. "We did not spend much time together."
"No, we didn't," she agreed. "It'll be good to catch up."
During the course of the next few days, they managed to gain access to a small wagon and soon they were moving westward. It was yet another long road, but this time it was with the scent of autumn in the air. They stopped one night and camped out. She sat on a small rock on her rather sore derrière and watched as four Hobbits gathered together for what may have been their last time together. It was wonderful seeing these beings again, she thought, her chin upon her fist. Not to mention, Samwise was a great cook.
Much had happened since they had parted, she learned. Samwise was a husband and a father. Frodo had completed his book. Even Merry and Pippin had gotten a life apart from mischief. Buffy found her thoughts dwelling painfully on her plans for the future and then decided it was time to stop thinking about it.
At last they arrived at the Havens. Buffy had departed from the Hobbit party the day before to ride ahead with the Elves coming from the south. As she arrived at the haven, she found an ancient city that her Slayer senses told her was filled with both history and legacy. Dismounting from her horse, she smoothed her long, silver gown and approached the Elves now dismounting apart from their escorts.
"I am certain that we have never been escorted by a Lady of the Mark before," Lord Elrond told her as she approached. He smiled at her befuddled expression. Her expression slowly changed to awe as she saw the ship awaiting them, standing erect at port. She slowly moved towards it as though daring to see it as a dream. It was a stunning sight; a swan perfectly perched upon water like silver glass with nothing but the open sea before them. Elrond saw that distinct longing in her eyes but knew it was not his place to question her motives for coming with them.
And the road goes ever on…
Buffy craned her neck to see a small wagon approaching them led by a single horse. Gandalf sat atop the wooden bench, his Wizard's hat slightly crooked and his pipe sticking out of the corner of his mouth. He sang jovially and from within the carriage came several smaller voices. Once they had stopped at the landing, Gandalf waited for the others to get out before leading them all down by the docks.
Buffy let out a long breath as she saw the Elves move forward to stand near the landing. Galadriel glanced appealingly at the ship before gazing at the young woman who stood near her horse. Her head was tilted to the side and she was smiling somewhat. "What troubles your young mind?" she asked inquiringly, stepping closer to the younger maiden.
Buffy shrugged as she glanced at the Elven Lady. "Nothing, really. What was it we were told to do… clear our mind of troubles, put the past behind us?"
"That is what we do," Galadriel agreed. "However, this is also a past in which we have nothing left to live for."
Buffy's clear gaze clouded as she looked at Galadriel in confusion. "Huh?"
Her patient smile returned. "Why have you come on this journey, child? Is your future not clear with a country to lead and alliances to bear? Have you not learned much on your journey?"
Buffy thought back over the past two months and realized that Gandalf had been teaching her. Sure, the songs got annoying to the point where she threatened to tackle him off of his horse. But there was more. There had been history lessons of peoples she had never dreamed of before, much less fancied meeting. There were long genealogies of long-dead Kings that had been heaped into her mind. She had learned that Longbottom leaf was as deadly as it smelled, and it looked dangerously like weed. There was just too much she had gotten into her head during the past two months. She had thought it was because she was about to leave this world behind, but now…
"Yes, I have," Buffy said slowly. Gandalf saw his young charge in the company of the Elves and quietly wandered over, leaving the Hobbits to slowly come into the harbor behind him.
"Could you turn away from a future so bright and so beautiful?" he asked Buffy, who gave him a small nod in welcome.
"You promised that you would hold your end of the bargain as long as you could," Galadriel added as Buffy shook her head. "Your friends… your sister count on you. I, too, have seen what you have. They would want you to live a life that is complete and not wrought with sorrows and regret. You will not find joy should you cross into the West. You will not find peace because it is not who you are. You are a strong, able leader amongst those that need you." She paused as she reached out to touch Buffy's face. "This journey is not meant for you."
"What?" Buffy asked, as though waking from a deep sleep as she glanced from both Galadriel to Gandalf. "What do you mean?"
"You are not ready to board this ship and pass into the West," Gandalf concluded softly, seeing the look on her face. "If you were to cross those shores, you would find a beauty unlike any other. You would find a wide green horizon under a swift sunrise but never would you see those you love and care for. Never would you see the land you call home. Never would you find a peace in a life of war because there is no battle and no darkness. That is where your heart truly belongs."
"But… I thought you wanted me to come with you," Buffy stuttered, utterly confused. "I thought that this journey was going to prepare me for what I'd see over there."
Gandalf gently shook his head. "My words are to prepare you for your future here and now. There may come a time when your toils have weakened you and you have grown weary with your lands but until that day comes… if you leave now, you will regret it forever."
A fire like Buffy had never felt in Middle-earth began to stir in her abdomen. Everything seemed to be piecing together. Glancing up at her mentor, she started, "Gandalf…"
"I fear we will not see one another again," he said sadly as he leaned over to embrace his best student. "You have given me a pride… to know my words have done some good."
"I won't let you down," she said in a small voice. Her eyes glistened as she held him for a moment before they parted. "I just hate goodbyes."
"We will see you again," Galadriel confirmed, giving Gandalf her haughty look. "There will be a great time, but I have seen what great things you do and the great woman you will become. You must follow your heart."
Buffy nodded bravely, giving them both a dewy look. As Elrond and the Shipwright came over to see as to the delay, Buffy lifted her dress and stepped away from the others. Gandalf paused before moving nearer. "Ride hard," he said quietly.
"I will," she replied. She watched as he returned to the Hobbits, but the Elves were already boarding the ship. Sniffling back the few tears that came, she stood stoically at the side of her steed until at last the ship cast off from its moorings and began the long journey West. Even as the other Elves had departed and the other Hobbits had gone, she remained until she could no longer see the ship from the shore.
Turning, she brushed Sador's gentle face before whispering, "Let's go home, girl."
It was a long, hard ride through the autumn. After a brief respite in Rivendell, even the Elvish paradise seemed to lose some of its luster. The twin sons of Elrond were warm and courteous hosts, but she missed Elrond's presence. Already it felt as though a gaping hole had opened where the leadership of this world had once stood.
And then she realized that it wasn't empty… it was simply waiting for someone else to step in.
It was nearing November when she finally reached Isengard. Already the former tower of Orthanc looked foreign next to the blue wading pools and stone bridges that decorated a peaceful garden. She spent the night under thousands of stars and awakened with a renewed sense of longing. She had not seen Rohan since early June.
Sador bore her briskly across the great plains of Rohan until at last she came upon Helm's Deep. Though the keep was fully manned, most of the men under guard were once under her care. They gazed at her in wonder as she returned. Her eyes had softened and her shoulders had narrowed and yet she carried with her a great resilience.
The following evening, she finally rode into Edoras. Knowing what she wanted to do more than ever, she left her horse in the care of the stables, knowing it was the last time she would ever take Sador on such a journey. She gently rubbed her nose and said, ever so quietly, "Thank you… but I think your war days are over."
Sador tossed her magnificent head as the stable hand pulled her away. Buffy waited until her horse was out of sight before turning back and lowering the hood on her traveling cloak. It was now or never.
The doors to the throne room burst open, revealing no one within. Spotting the door guard before he left, she moved to intercept him. "Have you seen Éomer?"
"He was to return this morn, dear Lady," the man replied with a slight bow. "His errands have been running long."
"Thanks," Buffy said, turning immediately away and heading towards her room. Dropping her traveling bag near the door, she walked into the familiar room and removed her cloak, the material falling into a pool near her feet. What surprised her, however, was the small figure resting in her bed.
Elena was sound asleep, her hair brushed away from her face. Smiling softly, Buffy moved over to the bed and sat upon it, watching as the girl slept. She looked so innocent, Buffy thought, reaching over to stroke her soft, golden hair. She would do everything in her power to save her. She would give her life…
"Buffy?"
"Hey," she said, smiling at Elena's sleepy gaze as it fixed itself on hers. "How are you?"
"You have returned."
"Didn't you think I would?" Buffy asked softly.
"King Éomer said…"
"I know what he said. But you shouldn't listen to him."
"But—"
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving for a long, long time."
"Do you really mean so?"
"Of course I do. I'm not one to go back on my promises."
"Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"Would it be all right if I call you Mum?"
Buffy thought this over as the young girl stared inquiringly up at her with her sleepy eyes. "I suppose it would be all right," she whispered, bending down to kiss the girl's temple. And she stayed by her side until Elena had returned to sleep.
x-x-x
It was a welcome sunrise, Éomer thought as he rode into the city. He was a day behind his tightly-kept schedule but such things could be looked over. He had many things to deal with to the north. He certainly did not wish to be in this empty Golden Hall. There seemed to be less laughter and more intensity without the usual charm of his Second Marshal.
The door warden greeted him with a funny smile yet would say nothing as he pulled the door open and bowed slightly to him. The interior guards said nothing as well as Éomer stalked past them. He paused, cast them a curious look, and walked right into his throne room.
The problem was, there was already a figure atop it. Wearing a black cloak pulled over her golden hair, Éomer blinked as he drew near. Was she real? Was this moment real?
Had she indeed returned to Rohan?
He bent down and gently shook her shoulder. "Awaken," he commanded.
She did, blinking and pulling her hair away from her face as she uncurled her legs from his seat. "Oh," she uttered softly, quickly getting to her feet. Her cloak fell behind, leaving her traveling gown and her worn tunic over it. "I didn't… I'm sorry…"
"What magic is this?" he asked quietly. "When did you return?"
"Last night," Buffy replied. "I… I wanted to be sure that I saw you when you got back. I wanted you to hear it from me and not from someone else."
"This I understand," Éomer replied, taking the strange behavior of his guards in stride. "Please, continue." He took the chair she had abandoned, yet she would not look at him. Her back was facing him and her body had tensed as though she were struggling to say something.
"I've been through a lot these past few months, but nothing compared to what might happen tomorrow or the day after that," she began slowly. "But I began to realize as I was standing there at that shore knowing that my life could be gone just like that… I would regret it. I would regret not knowing what could have happened or what I could have done. I'm ready to be this person that you have all been hoping I am. You'll always have the Slayer. But now I'm ready…"
Éomer slowly stood up and walked up to her. She was facing him now, her face shiny with exhaustion. "What say you?"
"I don't know what'll happen, but I do know I'm not going anywhere," she replied as he continued to move closer. "I don't want to go anywhere."
His hand reached out to cup her small face as she smiled up at him. "Are you not a mirage or a glimpse of a face long forgotten? Are you not saying words I have so longed to hear to appease my heart which has been shattered?"
"I meant what I said the day I left," she said boldly, her eyes meeting his. "I love you. It just took me a while to realize it… I guess I always was the last one to know."
His eyes were filled with wonder as he bent his forehead down to rest against hers. "This must be a dream," he breathed, "for I have not slept in days and I have heard the words—"
His words were cut off as she threaded her arms around his neck and brought his face to hers. "Oh, shut up."
x-x-x
In the last full chapter, a fitting end with a short epilogue to follow.