Title: Submission
Summary: After getting away from Jordan who raped her, Rory ends up in New York where she meets Jess.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except maybe for Jordan, but I don't know if I should be happy about that.
A/N: there's no excuse, I know, I haven't updated in forever. Thing is, I've been having trouble with my wrist (deterioration) and well basically it just sucks because I can't type for a long time. Plus I've been on the couch for about three months, something to do with my ankle. And no, I didn't have a laptop. Sigh. Anyway I'm back now and today is all about the updates so please review!
"Don't"
Jess said, his eyes still closed. Rory held her breath, startled. How had he known? How could he see? She bit her lip, tears stinging in her eyes. After all that had happened to her, she just wanted to feel numb. Was that so wrong? Didn't she deserve a little reward? She had been walking on her toes for so long, trying to keep up with every day life. Studying, pleasing Jordan, taking classes. And everything had gone horribly wrong. She had been failing class, due to her busy social life and her worries about Jordan.
"Please"
He still held her arm, though his touch wasn't rough like Jordans' had been.
"It's not a solution"
He opened his eyes, looking at her with enlarged pupils. It weirded her out. She averted her gaze, staring at the floor. How could she make him see? Make him understand?
"You don't know what happened to me"
Her voice was soft, her soul broken. His touch became gentler as he brought his other hand up to cup her face and wipe away a tear on her cheek. She wasn't scared of him. As his thumb trailed the path of another tear she sighed softly.
"I can guess"
He was still stroking her cheek, up and down, up and down. It comforted her. She closed her eyes once more, trying to forget the past and the future and just focus on the present. Focus on Jess being here, taking care of her even when he was stoned. Trying to bask in the feeling of safety. She was safe here. Nobody would ever be able to find her. Not even her mom.
"Mom"
She hadn't been aware of the fact that she had spoken it out loud until Jess responded.
"Would you like to call her?"
She looked up at him, eagerly.
"Do you have a phone?"
Just when he was about to nod she shook her head. She couldn't. Lorelai would go crazy. She'd drive up to New York, outraged, and the chance of something awful happening would be huge. She couldn't tell her about Jordan, about why she had hid him from her mother. She couldn't tell her about the rape. Lorelai would kill him. No, scratch that, she would call Christopher and together they would eviscerate him.
"I can't"
Her voice sounded sad and another tear slipped down her cheek. He mumbled something soothing she couldn't quite understand and wiped away the tear, again.
"Just let it go Rory"
His voice sounded stronger now, more composed. He caressed her cheek once more before sliding his hand down her arm, softly squeezing her elbow as to reassure her that everything would be alright.
"You don't know"
She repeated, her voice fragile.
"I've seen it happen to other girls."
He hid the fact that he himself had been abused too, had experienced every emotion that was seering through Rory's body right now. Anger. Disgust. He knew how she felt both disgusted with her feelings for him as well as with her own body. He knew she questioned herself, wondering whether maybe some part of it was her fault. Had she really not been doing anything wrong? Had she really been sweet and nice and obeying enough? He understood that part of her wanted revenge and another part just wanted to die. He wondered which part would win. Would she eventually become stronger from the experience? Would she go back to whoever did this to her and tear him apart? Or would she take the easy road and become a junkie like he had?
He couldn't let that happen to her. He couldn't let her wake up one day and realise that everything had become empty. That she had become soulless. He couldn't let her live with the regret for her entire life. He did. Every day he wished that he could turn back time and fight against his stepfather. He wished he would have never met those people that did drugs. He wish he would have met a person that could have told him all this. Told him what the future would be like, that every time you took a shot you knew you'd need more to feel the same numbness next time.
He had to be that person for her. He had to tell her that nothing good could come from numbness. He had to let her know that yes even though fighting was hard and painfull it would be so much more rewarding than this. Why did he live? Some days he wasn't sure. He got up in the morning, took a shot and then went out into the city to rob people and score some drugs. He didn't want that to happen to her. He wanted her to know that she could be saved, that she wasn't like him.
"Let me tell you a little story"
Review please!
A/N: Sorry if it was short but well I still got that annoying deteriorating wrist that hurts like hell. But I tried anyways :) so please leave me a review because then I'll know it's worth the pain :)