Yeah, um... I'm sorry if this is just flat out terrible and disturbing, but I had to do this because this idea would not leave me alone and it was creepy and yeah. Credit to the people who came up with "I want a hippopatamus for Christmas" and Soren... I'm so very sorry. Please don't kill me.
"Merry Christmas, Soren!" Ike wrapped one arm around Soren while his other held a large mug of eggnog. Soren could tell someone spiked the eggnog because Ike never acted like this before.
"Merry Christmas, now please don't hug me like that." Soren turned a little red. Across the table, Shinon, Janaff, and Gatrie were all drunk off their asses and laughing like a bunch of loons.
"BWA HA HA! Found yerself a new LOVER BOY Ikey?" Shinon drawled.
"Oh come OOOOOOON!" Janaff snickered, "Ike's with the prinshess! Just ask Ulki! He can hear EVERYTHING!"
"Yes, and I've just recently started to detest that ability." Ulki grumbled from the corner.
"Hey… I wanna DATE with the PRINCESS!" Gatrie banged his stein on the table. "I never getta date!"
"That's because you're FAT!" Shinon snorted while Janaff blew bubbles in his mug. "And don't BANG on the… the COUNTER!…I might spill my beer!"
"God REST YE MEERRRRRY GENTLEMANS for all of you DISMAAAY!" Janaff randomly burst out.
"Thoooose aren't the lyrics, JANAFF." Shinon rolled his eyes.
"Well no SHIT they're not!" Janaff threw his stein at Boyd. The stein nailed Boyd in the back of the head and he turned around, cursing and swearing. "Who's a GENTLEMANS anyway? I don't know a GENTLEMANS and why is he restin and bein MERRY!"
"Maybe… WE'RE Gentlemans!" Gatrie had an idea.
"And why are… you THINKING!" Shinon spat. "You're… not SMART enough!"
"Maybe I'm SMART when I'm drunk!" Gatrie stuck out his tongue, but Shinon seemed to believe him. "Cuz.. if we're restin here and bein merry, we're gentlemans!"
"YEAH!" Janaff chimed in, "We're GENTLEMANS!"
"But Gentlemans have LADIES." Shinon explained, "Cuz we're… gentle or…something…"
"Well then lets GET US SOME LADIIIIES!" Janaff slammed down his mug, then turned to Soren. "Heeey you're a mage, right? You can light my fire ANY time!"
"You damn IDIOT!" Shinon whacked Janaff upside the head. "That's IKE'S wench! It might be… diseased or…something!"
"What, its not like she's got the FLU!" Janaff slammed his hands on the table and glared at Shinon.
"YOU HAVE THE FLU!" Shinon stood up, slammed his hands on the table, and glared at Janaff.
"YOUR MOM HAS THE FLU!"
"AWWW THAT'S IT BITCH, YER GOIN DOWN!"
"BAR FIIIIGHT!" Gatrie bellowed, and sure enough a crowd gathered to watch Janaff and Shinon battle it out.
"That's it. I'm leaving." Soren slipped under Ike's arm and darted out of the tent before the brawl between Shinon and Janaff got any worse."
Soren hated social events. Soren hated eggnog. Soren hated everything and everyone because he was Soren and that's just how things were.
Actually, Soren had this really annoying song stuck in his head that Rolf had been singing all day. No matter what Soren could do, the song would NOT. GO. AWAY.
"Maybe I should slam my head in my desk 500 times. That should help." He sarcastically muttered as he entered his tent. Deciding it was in his best interest not to do that, Soren sat at the desk instead, starring at maps.
"Soren… are you humming?"
"What?" Soren nearly leaped out of his skin.
"Sorry, it's just me…" Princess Elincia blushed. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that…"
"Why aren't you at the party?" Soren began scribbling down something on the map.
"Everyone there seems so… scary."
"They were asking about you, you know. Who is that knight? Geoffery?"
"The blue-haired one that has a small shrine of worship to me in his tent?…You're humming again…"
"Damnit!" Soren slammed his fists on his desk.
"I-I'm sorry!"
"No, its not you, Elincia." Soren frowned, "I have this song stuck in my head and it won't go away."
"Well… you should try singing it!" Elincia suggested, "Sometimes when I do that, the song gets out of my head."
"I don't sing." Soren looked at her all scary like.
"Well… How about this? I go to the party, and you can try it if you like. If not, no one will ever notice."
Yay for horrible foreshadowing.
"Yeah." Soren muttered, but Elincia left anyway. He scribbled a bit more, but scowled when he found out he was writing the lyrics. He tore the map in half, crumpled it up, and threw it away. "Get out get out GET OUT!" he began to tear at his hair. This song was disturbing his concentration and he was not going to put up with it. Taking a deep breath, Soren stood up, and peeked around outside. No one was there. Only a few guards were on the perimeters but they'd never hear him sing. He looked towards the large tent where the "Christmas Party" was being held. Everyone was drunk and entertaining themselves by watching Shinon and Janaff hit on Lucia and Anna. Soren ducked his head back into the tent, tied the flaps shut, and then swallowed hard.
"There is no way in hell I'm doing this." Soren sat back down at his desk and pulled out a new map. Once again, he was humming the song, but this time, he just gave up. He reached over, flipped the magic music player they bought off the myrmidon black market, put the CD Rolf had in, and set the song to play and Soren began to sing as he figured out the tactics for the next battle.
"I wanna a hippopotamus for Christmaaaaas. Only a hippopotamus will doooo." Strangely, this didn't bother him too bad. Sure the song sucked as all living hell, but this was actally somewhat… relaxing? "Don't want a doll, no dinky tinker toy, I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy." Soren was now on his feet, and had pinned the map to a board.
"I wanna a hippopotamus for Christmaaaaaaaas. I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?" Soren nodded towards a doll on Mist's bed. "He won't have to use, our dirty chimney flue, just bring him through the front door, that's the easy thing to do!" Soren was now really getting into it. He was swooping about, pinning things to the board, but he was also singing his heart out and using the funniest facial expressions people use when they think no one is watching them sing.
"I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the staaaaairs! Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there! I wanna a hippopotamus for Christmaaaaaaas. Only a hippopotamus will doooooo. No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses! I only like hippopotamuses! And hippopotamuses like me tooooooooooooo!"
Soren grabbed a map and twirled to the board, paused, "Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian." Then tacked a few blue flags on the map. Once again, "There's lots of room for him! in our two-car garage! I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage." Then he tacked a few red flags onto the board, before grabbing the doll off Mist's bed and dancing with it.
"I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the staaaaaairs! Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes to see a hippo hero standing there!" Soren threw the doll down and sang at the top of his lungs.
"I want a hippopotamus for Christmaaaaas! Only a hippopotamus will doooo! No crocodiles! or rhinoceroseses! I only like hippopotamuseses! And hippopotamuses like me tooooo!" Soren held out his arms and had his chin tilted upwards, his voice ringing throughout the tent. And like that, the song was out of his head.
"Hm. That worked better than I expected." Soren turned off the CD player and went back to looking at the map. Not less than five minutes later, Mist came running into the tent. "Why are you running?"
"I… I don't know." Mist giggled, "But whatever you do, Soren… Don't look outside."
"…Mist?"
"Hee heee… Elincia had a little too much to drink and said you might be singing! Shinon thought you were lying, but… you have a really nice singing voice!"
"…Oh… bloody… hell…"