The rays from the sun spread over her bed and a flood of bright light streamed across her. She squinted and could just make out a weak rainbow in the sky. It was a bright afternoon. For a moment she felt nothing but peace. She was in Chris's warm embrace as she lay on his bare chest and felt his breath rise and fall steadily. He looked so at ease when he slept, just like any other guy.
(thoughts)
She remembered when she finished high school and tried to attend college. Her grades were average as were her extra curricular activities, she had a few select friends but had more or less kept to herself after her parents died. Even with a new home, she still wanted to hate the world for what had happened but most of all she couldn't stop hating herself.
She paid no attention to guys or popularity or her studies, in fact, she debated why she ever bothered going.
All her friends were outcasts of some kind, from dysfunctional families or just generally weird, and they were lepers among their other peers. Not that she particularly gave a crap, she preferred it.
Only when she was emerging from her self loathing cocoon (that was puberty) she began to spread her wings and focus on school for once, she became a social and academic butterfly for a whole year. Her other friends hadn't changed but they resented her transformation and so she began to hang around with stable people and felt her life in turn stabilise slightly.
She even started to like guys and they started to like her as her looks had increased after she cut her hair and wore better clothes. Yet it was too late to undo the past, records were records and she anxiously applied for a local college.
She hoped to take a phycology course and become a child phycologist, after all, she had had a hard time of it and could identify with troubled teenagers.
Yet when she went to mail the applications she suddenly felt very trapped, she was in an open street but she felt like the world had been sucked in around her and there was no where to go.
She didn't really deep down want to go to college, she only wanted a degree because her foster parents would be proud and because her peers and society had forced the benefits down her throat, she wanted really knew she wanted to travel and be free. It was typical that she just realised it then.
When she returned home she told her foster parents and despite being disappointed tried to understand and accept her idea to travel and not commit to anything. Commitment hadn't been Paige's style.
That night she went to a one of her new friend's party, most was a blur but she remembered losing her virginity to some quiet guy that used to sit near her. He had been in love with her for years and she was too drunk to tell him no.
She at least had the knowledge she fulfilled his warped fantasy and gave him some sort of closure. He wasn't bad looking but she felt short changed somehow, not to mention sick. She couldn't understand why it was supposed to be so…so messy.
It wasn't like it was portrayed in the movies. It was painful and the guy obviously had no experience as he was so awkward. Either way, she felt she was ready for the 'real world'. It was funny how then the things that mattered the most to her had no relevance now.
She did travel around America for a while, she went all over the place hitching rides and making money doing odd jobs wherever she was. She met lots of different and great people, she had lost contact with most of them by now though.Being a charmed one really didn't give you time to just sit and write.
She had known Glenn for a long time, he had been her closest and coolest friend since she met him early on in her road trip and they had been best friends every since.
He was the funniest, kindest and most sociable guy she had met and he decided to join her wherever she was travelling, it was definitely an experience.
They never made it over to Europe or anywhere else though. Paige wanted to do it with a partner when she was older, she felt Europe was too sophisticated and she at least needed more then $100 in her pocket to survive there. Glenn was not her boyfriend, they were the clichéd 'best friends with benefits' but he cared about her and kept the other sleazy guys at bay, it was a fun and exciting alliance.
Eventually they ran out of money and parted ways, she missed him more then she realised and although they had each others contact details; for a good six months after that, they hadn't communicated.
Paige became a trainee social worker and had got herself a modest flat. She thought she didn't want to have a career so soon, but it turned out she had a knack for being a social worker and she had a passion that she got paid for. The pay however, wasn't excellent, but it paid the bills and she loved it. Besides she had matured and knew that in life you need some sort of occupation to get somewhere comfortable in life.
She was still at the bottom of the ladder at the agency but she didn't think things could have turned out better. She missed Glenn though, he had been her best friend and although they knew each other for only a year they had such an intense connection; she didn't feel she was as close to anyone else. He must have thought the same because he came and found her in San Francisco. He got a job and they flatted together for at least a year.
She wasn't surprised he was one of the only people she told that she was witch, she knew she could trust him and he had a sense of humour about the world and she thought he could handle it.
Then after she became a charmed one and he came and saw her, she knew she loved him.
She may have loved him all along but she had only realised then; and just her luck - he was engaged. It broke her heart and thanks to magic it almost broke up his relationship. She understood though that she had to let him go, and they hadn't talked since. Paige felt her eyes water at the disappointment it caused her, but now she had Chris. She wondered why she thought of the only other guy she had loved at this point in time.
She turned so she nuzzled into Chris's warm chest and she tightened his hold around her. She kissed his side. He stirred slowly and moaned as he stretched out. Time seemed to have stood still. He turned over and embraced her tighter and looked straight into her eyes and smiled. His eyes were even more deep blue and dazzling then when they were last open. She blushed slightly under his intense stare and he whispered into her ear.
"I wouldn't give you up for anything."
She knew he was sincere and it sent an automatic sense of ecstasy through her body and the giggled coyly.
"Not even for Jennifer Anniston or Britney Spears?"
"Who?"
Paige laughed at his naivety.
"You don't have re-runs of friends in the future?
"friends?"
Paige's eyes widened in ultimate horror.
"That's awful."
"I'm joking."
"So you do have friends?"
"No, I just mean I know who those celebrities were or are, but I wouldn't give you up for a hundred of them."
Paige couldn't help but beam.
Then her eyes widened again.
Chris saw the astonishment and touched her shoulders.
"I don't know if we have friends in the futureI didn't really watch -"
"Wyatt!"
She dashed out of bed put on her dressing gown and raced down the corridor.
Chris sat up and looked at the time. It was 5.00pm Piper would be home soon.
He quickly got dressed and he didn't hear any screaming so he assumed Wyatt was okay.
Yet he proved his theory right, being with Paige jeopardised things, not that he could do anything about it now, he wasn't about to turn his back on the best thing that had happened to him.
Paige came into the bedroom as Chris buttoned his jeans.
"There's uncle Chris."
She pulled up his little hand to point at Chris.
Chris shook his head but his eyes were twinkling.
It was a weird feeling that passed, they both sort of looked to the future, if life was perfect they could be parents of a child one day and they felt a temporary family unit with all three of them, Wyatt gurgled obliviously. Magic didn't even feature for some reason. Maybe because it had a tendency to mess up well laid plans.
Paige hastily put him back to bed when he began to cough and put an extra blanket on to keep him warm. Luckily his medicine was only due every four hours and she counted her blessings that something hadn't attacked or that Piper had come home early.
She shuddered at the equal horror of each scenario.
"We can't let something like this happen again."
She sighed in relief as her heart began to slow and she returned to her room. She wrapped her dressing gown around her protectively."Well I would like to think that this could happen many more times."
His licked his lips teasingly.
"I meant Wyatt."
She began to get changed herself.
"I know you did."
He kissed her neck before sliding over the bed to pick up his jacket that was thrown carelessly on a small chair by her dresser.
Paige turned around.
"Can you turn around?"
Chris looked confused.
"Um I saw you naked like fifteen minutes ago, what's the problem?"
She cringed at his bluntness.
She didn't really know what the problem was, things still hadn't sunk in. She was still dreaming and was waiting for something terrible to happen and ruin it, but so far so good.Still she was unusually self conscious, she felt she didn't deserve Chris. She knew it was stupid but it played a little in the back of her mind suddenly.
"Well I want to regain some mystery."
She motioned her hands in a shooing motion and he walked perplexed out of the door.
Then she remembered Ben. She marvelled out how obsessed and engrossed she was in Ben this morning; but things had altered so drastically that she didn't know if they're was any point in seeing him in case she accidentally led him on. She didn't want to hurt his feelings.
She quickly opened her beside drawer and found his creased receipt treasured in her diary. She didn't really ever write in it, she was scared that the minute thoughts were scribbled on paper that she was vulnerable and so she just used it for keeping important stuff in like names and dates.
She dialled half his number and then put the phone down, she bit her lip nervously, now she knew how Ben must have felt calling her. Eventually she just pressed down the numbers quickly without thinking too much.
It rung for a while and Paige was convinced his was out. She slouched back on to the bed in relief. Then he actually picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey Ben, it's Paige just returning your call."
"Oh good, sorry about the wait but Emma was kicking up a stink, I think she's getting a cold of some sort."
"Yeah my nephew Wyatt has a chest infection, something must be going around."
"Yes to the despair of parents everywhere. She just wont sleep."
"Sometimes if you rub their back lightly if she lies on her front, that often helps."
"I might give it a go, anything is better then her screaming non-stop."
There was a pause and Paige could hear the distant cries and sounds of a women upstairs.
"Sorry I don't mean to moan but it's just a bitch trying to raise a baby on your own. I have support networks but in the end you are the only one that gets the sleepless nights and suffers when they suffer."
"I understand what you mean, it's the same here, Piper was inconsolable last night with Wyatt."
"Well do you want to do something next week? There's a picnic down at the park by the crèche and other single parents congregate to whinge and mingle. It should be interesting, I've never attended but my sister insists I go, she's a single parent too and so I caved in and agreed."
"Well I-"
"You probably don't want to go, maybe it's too short notice, I just thought I'd ask; it beats going alone and you could bring your nephew, I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
"Well if you give me the details I'll try and work something out."
Ben exhaled heavily, his voice sounded weary. She didn't envy him.
"That would be excellent, I hope to see you there.""Yes, me too."
She tried to sound enthusiastic but she had a hollow feeling in her stomach that it wasn't right. She wanted to get to know him, but Chris wouldn't exactly be fine with it.
"So how is your sister doing? You have two right?"
"Yes, Phoebe and Piper. Phoebe's okay, she had some knee problems but we took her to the hospital and they gave her some medication to ease the pain and it is just waiting for it to heal."
"That sounds nasty."
"Well it wasn't too pleasant but she is back at work and fine."
"Well that's good to hear."
She couldn't believe how easily her mouth began to spin lies without her brain acknowledging it. She must be getting better with practice, because covering up her other lie was not as difficult as she first thought.
"Yes, anyway I have got to go check on Wyatt, so I'll call you tomorrow and let you know for definite if I can come or not, how does that sound?"
"That sounds perfect, nice talking to you."
"You too. Bye."
She put the phone down and sat on the bed for a moment. There was a knock on the door.
Chris's voice was muffled and exasperated behind it.
"Almost done."
She remembered she was supposed to be changing and quickly put on her black strappy top and three quarter length jeans. She brushed her hair quickly and applied the basic make up, and opened the door:
"Da daa."
She held her hands up presenting herself.
"You look great."
He pulled her by her waist to him and kissed her.
"How's Piper holding up?"
"How would I know?"
"Well didn't you just call her?"
"No."
"I called Ben back."
Chris rolled his eyes.
"And?"
"And I agreed to go on a picnic with him."
She squeezed her eyes shut waiting for his reaction.
"A picnic? Are you serious?"
She put her hands on his shoulders and let in her head to touch his.
"Listen, it's a single parent picnic and he jut wanted some support, he said I could bring Wyatt or I may ask Phoebe, get her out of the office."
Chris was silent.
"And what about me? Can I come as your boyfriend or is the sort of occasion where I have to pretend to be your brother?"
"I don't know, listen I know you wont be cool with this and that's okay but I need you to trust me. Besides you don't want us public anyway."
Chris's face didn't change so she tried a more persuasive approach.
"How about a deal?"
Chris looked at her interestedly.
"What sort of deal?"
"Something I want for something you want?"
"I already have what I want, and I just got what I wanted before."
Paige felt guilty and his flattery only made her feel worse.
"Look, I wont tell my sisters about us if you just trust me and let me go to this picnic."
Chris contemplated it seriously rubbing his chin.
"No deal."
Paige sighed and put her hands on her hips.
"I'll take Phoebe."
"No deal."
"And when I get home I'll help you look for a flat and you could orb into my bedroom after everyone goes to sleep…"
She ran her hand down Chris's chest to his hand and held it suggestively.
"You're good."
Paige smiled, silently triumph.
"No deal."
Paige pursed her lips in surprise, he was annoyingly stubborn.
" - Only if you save me some grilled cheese sandwiches that I know you're gonna take."
Paige hugged Chris.
"So how did you know I have a thing for grilled sandwiches?"
"I know a lot more about you then you think."
It was great to hear and he was still as mysterious as ever.
"Fine, I'll save you some."
"Then we have a deal."
Paige turned to walk downstairs and whipped quickly around.
"My sisters will know one day though."
Chris nodded.
"Well hey if your gonna be Paige Perry one day, you'll need some bridesmaids that can watch your back."
Paige wanted to leap at him and show him how good he made her feel.
"Well hey, if you're short on a best man, perhaps you could ask Ben, that is if you'd prefer Leo."
Chris smiled broadly.
"Yeah well the future's an unpredictable thing."
He looked down thoughtfully and Paige saw it as her queue to start sorting out dinner.
Chris hated the bittersweet feeling, the feeling that your so happy but you know it wont last, savouring every minute of the pleasure for you know when it goes, and it always does that you can say you loved and lost and that that was better then to never love at all.Chris didn't see how it could be better because it would feel twice as worse and Chris had been there before. Paige would eventually, even if they did save the world, probably end up like Piper and he knew just like everyone else that deep down Piper was an emotional wreck on the inside and that her heart was a mess. Even Piper knew it and there was nothing anyone could do. If that was what loving and losing did then Chris dreaded the latter.
He paced up and down the landing trying to think of a way to tell Paige the truth about why he was here without scaring her or changing things too much. He couldn't tell Phoebe and especially not Piper and he felt like he was opening Pandora's box if he told Paige.
Suddenly the business with Ben seemed to so miniscule. There was a turn of the key in the lock and he heard Piper rush in the door.
"Paige? Paige?"
Paige walked out of the kitchen in tears.
"Hey, Piper look Wyatt's fine -"
"Why are you crying?"
Piper had both a confused and fearful look on her face.
Paige shook her head.
"Onions."
"Your crying over onions?"
"No. Onions."
She held out her hands that were holding onions that she was half way through chopping and mopped her streaming eyes with a tissue.
A wave of relief passed over Piper's face and Paige saw how truly physically and mentally tired Piper really was.
Paige quickly put down the onions and wiped her hands on her apron. She felt very domesticated.
She took Piper by the shoulders and led her upstairs.
"I want you to check on Wyatt and then get into bed and sleep. I'll save you and Phoebe some dinner; but I want you to rest."
"I cant -" she moved to protest but Paige only held her shoulders tighter.
"Listen to me I am fed up of you being the head of the house all the time, you are entitled to sleep Piper and with any sisterly power I am granted I order you to do as your told for once."
Piper looked both impressed and slightly insulted. She was good at portraying an arrange of scary emotions in one glance.
"Look Piper please."
Piper looked as if her barriers had finally come down and she dropped her head, she looked so young and child-like at that moment. They reached the foot of the landing and Chris looked at Piper pitifully, she didn't even acknowledge he was there she was so caught up in her misery. Paige just nodded to him solemnly and led Piper past her bedroom.
Piper stopped dead.
"Have you been asleep while my son is ill?
Paige felt her face begin to burn but she had to keep her cool.
"No, why?"
Its not like she was actually sleeping. Napping or resting was a better description and of course other things.
"Then why are your bed covers all messed up?"
Chris looked at her with wide eyes.
"I lost an earring that I got from my foster parents and I assumed I lost it while I was sleeping so I tore up the bed looking for it."
Piper just nodded. Too exhausted to answer back.
She showed her Wyatt and Piper immediately looked happier but she was still gaunt and false in her complexion.
"Now go to sleep please."
After ten minutes with Wyatt and a lot of assurances from Paige about him, Piper took to her bed. When she was safely wrapped in the blankets, Paige lay next to her and wrapped her arms around her sister.
"I love you."
She whispered.
Paige automatically felt Piper's body shake. She thought she might be having a fight.
"Piper?"
Piper turned herself around. She was crying. It was so weird to see her break down like this. Paige didn't know what to do. She just rubbed her back soothingly while she sobbed into the pillow. It had always been the other way around and even if Piper ever cried or was upset, Phoebe was the one to handle it.
"Leo used to lie there and say that to me." She manage to choke out amidst the tears."
"I know hun, I'm so sorry."
"I'm so tired."
Piper squeezed her eyes shut as if to block the tears.
"I'm so tired of being strong."
Paige could feel her own eyes watering.
"I know."
It all she could come up with to say.
"Try Sleep now."
"I'm so tired of being strong."
She whispered it to herself over and over until she feel asleep.
Paige breathed a heavy sigh of relief and lay on the bed.
Chris lingered in the doorway.
"Is she? Ok?"
Paige shook her head holding back tears.
Chris sat next to her and held her.
"I love you."
Paige let out a cry of both happiness and sadness.
"I love you too."
Sorry it's taken so long but I have been on holiday! The next two should be here this week! I will write like crazy! I should really changed the genre to angst but I promise some action soon!