Vulnerability is a sin

By: aragon asten

Tenten looked up from where she was sitting.

Strange…

Very Strange…

Looking at the window, she stood up, and slowly gazed towards the brightened skylights of Konoha, carefully searching for that unknown entity that was the reason for that sudden tingle of apprehension that traveled across her spine.

She looked right.

Left

Over the backyard

But there was nothing… nothing…

Of course, she didn't expect any cloaked, sinister figure running around Neji's yard, but at least she expected something-anything. But there was none.

Nothing was to be seen, not even a trace of that black cat that usually squatters 'round the area. It was empty-and that was the strangest thing of all. Because it was early morning in the village-broad daylight-that time of the day when the place's inhabitants seemed to have gathered enough will power to get their asses of the bed, and start working for the day's chores.

But there was nothing.

How mysterious…, she thought. What could it possibly mean?

With her brows furrowed in speculation, she slowly returned to her seat, with the intention of thinking it all through, when suddenly she felt it again!

Shivers racked her frame, and that same sense of dread filled her, only it more intense than before. Biting her lip, she swiftly fell unto her chair, her arms wrapped tightly around her, while the pricks of apprehension filled her once again. Quickly she shut her eyes, tightly-struggling to see through the blurry images of her brain, while vainly trying to making sense of what was happening to her,

What is it? WHAt is it? What is it !

What does it mean!

She opened her eyes, and gazed out into open space.

Nothing.

Anther shiver-another gasp, another quick intake of air that still left her breathless…

What's happening! Oh, god… What's happening!

But there was nothing…She couldn't make sense out of nothing.

Then she made a little sigh.

It was over… finally it was over. As quickly as it came, that strange barrage of sensations suddenly faded almost into oblivion.

But the dread still remained.

Burying her head inside her outstretched palms, she let out a big sigh of relief and exhaustion. Mental exhaustion.

She was exhausted, she reasoned, as her head cleared of all distractions, went back to its proper working form. It was just stress-pure, overpowering stress. What with all she went through the other day, last night, and the fact that her hands were wounded and sore all contributed to what seemed like the precedents of a rather serious nervous breakdown.

And she had to remedy that, if she wanted to get back to her normal, daily life. She'd start with her hands first…

They were in bad shape, for instance-worsened by more than twelve hours out in the open air. Handling a weapon would take lots of endurance, and she'd have to practice night and day, if she wanted to return to her former skill. And they were also dead sore, and tired, and aching.

And she grinned.

They were sore all right.

Why wouldn't they be?

Any person in their right minds wouldn't even think of exhausting their hands like that after 24 stitches.

But she did.

And she couldn't care less.

Raising her head, she let it fall back, faced towards the ceiling, while she slowly closed her eyes. Letting the light from the window dance across her countenance, she luxuriated in the soft warmth it lent to her clammy skin.

Without meaning to do so, her lips slowly slid into a comfortable smile.

She couldn't very well miss writing a letter to someone she dearly loved, could she?

A sudden rustle behind her, woke her from her smiling reverie.

Turning her head towards the direction from whence it came, she faced the lofty doorway. And she grinned.

It was Neji

…tired, exhausted Neji, with his eyes pale and decorated with eye bags, while on his hand he was holding a coffee for two.

"Coffee," was his abrupt greeting.

Handing it to her, he sidled into the chair directly in front of her, while she inhaled the fragrance of her favorite, brewed coffee, no sugar, no cream.

It was her favorite, and it was all for her.

Sipping it slowly, she savored the hot feeling that coursed through her at its first taste. Wonderful… Absolutely wonderful.

Settling back into her comfy kitchen seat, her fears, and anxieties forgotten, she gazed back into the open window, while Neji beside her read the newspaper, drinking from a large mug he held in his right hand. The early sun slid into the room, warm but still fresh, and generously bathing their faces with bright lights from a wonderful morning.

I like it, she suddenly thought, as she took another sip from that divine brew.

I could definitely get used to this… after a while.

They remained in that position for a while.

Neither of them spoke, both were lost in his or her own thoughts, barely heeding the actions that their own bodies accomplish.

They were silent, and only occasionally would one speak to ask a word or two. But it would soon fall once again into the same sort of stillness that pervaded the bright room.

It wasn't really because sparks of animosity still flew between them, or that unease was still the unpleasant monster that stood between the two. Rather, the reason is that they belong to the kind of people of whom unnecessary talk was a thing yet to be learned and practiced.

Of course, last night was the exception. Last night was a night filled with madness, fueled by the torrid pouring of the summer rain. But today, under the light of the ordinary morning sun, neither knew what to say or do.

But strangely, they were both comfortable with the silence. They were comfortable with the presence of each two. It was unusual. Neither could explain it. But maybe it was just exhaustion, stress, or a new sort of illness. Or maybe, wisps of last night still drifted in through the window, and aftermaths of that madness still clung to their own.

But finally, someone spoke.

"Tenten I-"

It was Neji.

Tenten's wandering gaze, immediately turned towards him, and saw that he still held his newspaper and it was covering his entire face.

Irked by this act, she quickly, turned her gaze back to the scenery in front.

Seconds passed. Still, she didn't speak.

"umm… Tenten… I…"

Another quick glance, another gaze towards the window…

"…"

"Tenten?"

"…"

"umm… Tenten?"

"…"

From inside the newspaper came a loud sigh of extreme exasperation, followed by a snappy, "Fine."

The nerve… of that bastard.

Suddenly, something inside Tenten began to snap.

"Helloo, you idiot," Tenten hissed as she immediately punched a whole through the damn newspaper, and flashed a pair of furious eyes straight at him. "You think I'm going to answer to someone who doesn't even have the courtesy of looking me in the eye! Are you stupid or what? And you even have the guts to be angry at me after being such a rude, unfeeling son of a bitch! You're absolutely amazing Neji… I can't believe how utterly incredible you are."

Through the large hole inside the Daily Leaf, a pair of incredulous eyes were directed at the angry-as-hell girl in front of him, blatantly expressing a single thought, "Huh! What the hell are you saying?"

Tenten sighed. I should have expected that, she thought in irritation. That cursed clan of his probably forgot to teach him manners.

Another mistake of the clan…

"Never mind," she snapped irritably, as she stood from her seat, and strode towards the kitchen, bringing her mug with her. Fuming beside the coffee maker, she leaned her head against the wall, and was about to punch the wall, when she remembered that this was Neji's house. That deflated her anger, and all the heat suddenly left her frame.

She was suddenly contrite.

This was Neji's house all right… And he had all the right in the world to be totally rude. He went to all sorts of trouble for her-a large amount of time he used for practice lost, exhaustion, incapacitation, lack of sleep, hospital bills, and a large loss in his bandage supply. The list goes on. And now, he let her stay in his apartment this morning, because, though she had a bad time of admitting it, she was still squeamish about the bloody state of her own beloved home.

She sighed.

She had to apologize. And she cringed. That was the hard part.

She hated saying I'm sorry…especially to Neji…most especially to him.

But she had to do it. And so, biting her lips, she opened the front door.

When she came back, she found him, calmly reading the remaining parts of his shredded Daily Leaf. Looking at his cold, emotionless eyes slowly going over the printed letters, he seemed coolly unaffected.

Slowly, she bit her lip, uncertain about what to do, then, after a quick shake of her head; she took quick strides towards, and carefully threw a stack of newspapers in front of him.

"I bought you newspapers… You don't need to worry. I didn't slash out the parts I know you like."

No response.

Noting his calm indifference, she very carefully, laid a new mug of coffee beside his empty one.

"…Also, I brought you another cup of coffee. I noticed that some of it spilled after I punched a hole into that…that… well… just drink it." Then, turning aside, she walked towards the window, and tried to appear as nonchalant and as cool as he did. She, then, spent a few good minutes staring blankly at the scene in front of her eyes. But after a while, she stole a glance across, her shoulder, and to surprise, Neji had already started to read from her paper, and was calmly drinking from her cup of coffee.

Before she could react, the paper started to rustle, and suddenly, Neji's milk colored eyes was peering closely at her.

"What is it?" she quietly inquired.

"He hesitated for a second, then, his voice was heard from within the folds of the Daily leaf.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Looking at him the way he did now, Tenten couldn't help but grin.

To her greatest surprise and satisfaction, he was looking straight at her.

So she shrugged noncommittally, holding his gaze to hers, all the while trying to maintain that aura of calm indifference about her, that cool, poised air that so became her cold figure. With her lids drooped low, she nodded slowly, silently motioning him to continue with what he had to say.

And he did, though it took him a long time start. It wasn't really because he was nervous. Neji for all his stupid hatred with the Main house family, rather ironically, contained the same kind of arrogance and superiority complex that was so part of that clan. He could not possibly be nervous. But rather, he was seriously debating on whether he was slightly amused or slightly annoyed about the high airs she put off. In the end, he finally came to a conclusion, which suited him perfectly, that is, that he didn't particularly care. With that question finally settled inside his brain, he immediately put his other question into effect.

"Where were you last night?"

That abrupt question, coupled with the abrupt change of expression within his eyes, took Tenten by surprise. She expected another inquiry, something else that needed to be settled before they went back to their ordinary lives. Not that. Most especially not that. Very suddenly, Tenten felt that mask of indifference slip from her composure, and very suddenly a strange sort of panic seemed to well up within her, overflowing, surfacing in the gloom of her eyes. And she felt it, and quickly turned around and faced the open window, hiding her face from his.

"Somewhere…" she muttered, her voice trailing off to thin air.

And Neji frowned. That was just a simple question, wasn't it? Then why did that strange onset of panic enter her eyes, a split second before she turned around? What was the matter? Very suddenly, curiosity overcame his reticent modesty. And suddenly, he wanted more.

"Where?" he drawled out, his voice a notch more insistent than before.

As an answer, Tenten only raised her arm in a vague wave.

"Come on, Ten… where was the place?" and his voice became even more insistent.

And Tenten heard it, and understood. Whenever his voice turned quiet, and very silky soft, and whenever he used the nickname that an acquaintance once coined for her, she knew that Neji had already switched to the "interrogator" mode.

At once she knew that there was no escape.

"I told you… somewhere…" she trailed off, trying to match the light tone of his voice, giving him the impression that she still misunderstood.

"Where exactly?" he clarified. And by now, though his pale eyes revealed nothing, his voice became more firm.

"I…ah…, "she stuttered, as her hold on the window sill tightened, as her ear registered the sound of Neji rising from his chair.

"To the park!" she said brightly, quickly turning around to face him, split seconds before she had pinned an artificially bright smile to her face. But as soon as she did, it faded.

To her great surprise, Neji was now directly in front of her.

And she instantly backed away, only to find that the wall was just five inches from her back. She could go no further. All she could do was to gaze back at him.

"Really?" It was that voice again. And now, it was paired off with a deceptive frown upon his eyebrows, confusing her, making her uneasy.

What does that mean? She wondered, it was as if he knew that she was telling a lie. If only she had known it, the truth was pretty obvious by now-considering how a blush stained her cheek, and waves of panic seemed to emanate from within her.

NEji, a feet away from her, also seemed to feel this, by which he replied with confused frown.

"But I was at the park, Ten… Why didn't I find you?"

Her eyes widened.

"Oh, well… maybe… I was just sitting by the bushes by that time… you know… like I always do when I'm on to something." And she added with a sheepish grin.

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"I don't believe you." And the disbelief was now clearly displayed in his eyes.

A second passed, and suddenly, something within Tenten started to snap.

"Are you saying that I'm a liar?" she burst out defensively.

"Well, based on what I just heard, I came to that conclusion," he said matter-factly, and then he shrugged.

"I don't believe you!" she yelled in outrage, shoving his body out of the way, and bursting to the other side of the room.

"Well, neither do I!" Neji replied in annoyance, as he faced Tenten as she ruminated behind his back.

"Oh come on, Neji… You ask a question, I give you an answer. What's the matter with that!" She muttered in frustration.

"Tenten. Whatever you said, it was pretty obvious it was lie."

"Well, so what if I did. Does it make any difference! What do you care!"

"After what happened last night, I think I was given the right to know some explanation,"

"Who gave you that right? I'm sure I didn't. And if you think the reason is because of all the favors, you supposedly done for me-Well, I can always pay you back all the money, bandages I owe you, and I could serve you extra time for all those precious hours you lost! But as for you knowing where I went-It's none of your business!"

"I make it my business!" Neji shouted in a firm voice

"Well, you always make everything your business. You make Rock Lee's life your business. You make my life your business. Even that stupid, crassy family of yours, you make it your sole busine-"

"Don't you dare talk about my family like that, you-"

"I don't give a damn!"

"Well, don't bother insulting them or I'll-"

"I don't care! Why should I? You could kill them all, for all that matters to me! But you know the problem with your family is that someone like you goes snooting up its spine, creates trouble, and when all the family members are stuck up your ass, you come to me and vent out all that shit inside of you!"

"What I do is none of your business"

"Well my life is none of yours either! If you think that because of what you did, I'm going to pour out my soul to you-you've got me wrong, buddy.

I'm going to pay back all that I owe you, just to make sure that I could get rid of you once and for all!"

"Do that! That's absolutely perfect, you conceited woman. If you think that I ask you that question, just to know more about your life, well you're completely mistaken. I did that because I wanted to find a way to ensure that you're presence is going to get out of my life."

"Fine! That's wonderful! We're both on the right track. In fact I'm going to start leaving right now to please both of us, you insufferable bastard!"

"Good, very good… And make sure you don't leave any footmarks on the floor. I don't want any trace of you left inside my apartment.," he countered sarcastically.

"Well, I certainly won't," she called out as she exited towards the front door of Neji's house. "Thank you for everything," she called out in mock gratitude.

"I'll never forget your kindness and all the good you have bestowed upon me, you son of a- For God sakes Rock Lee, what are you doing here!" she yelled in frustration as she fell to the floor after being pushed aside by a Rock lee's entrance.

"Rock lee, don't you know the word, 'I apologize?'", she huffed out in irritation, as Rock Lee burst in, and went around like a very anxious dog. Then, after taking a quick look at the corners, he suddenly seemed to see her, and then he turned towards her, with one terrifying leap.

"Tenten, where's Neji, where's Neji!" he let out in one gasp.

"What's the matter, Rock Lee," she asked, suddenly concerned. She took one look at his ashen complexion, and all at once, the ire bursting from within her faded, and right away, she knew something was wrong. Very Wrong.

Rock Lee-gay, vivacious, chirpy Rock Lee was very close to tears.

"Where's Neji! Tell me, where's Neji!" he dried out in absolute desperation.

"I'm here." And Neji stepped out fron the kitchen where he had stayed.

"Oh NEji," And Rock Lee let out, and soon, immediately bounded towards the boy.

"I've got terrible news for you… terrible, terrible, absolutely horrifying."

"What is it?" Neji burst out , now also concerned about Rock Lee's expression. At that moment, Rock Lee's eyes filled up, and he burst to tears.

"What's the matter? What happened?" Tenten whispered.

"It's Hinata…, " Rock lee sobbed. "She was found hurt in the graveyard,

And Neji, oh Neji… the doctors say she's almost dead."

"WhaaAt!" Tenten gasped. "Are you sure! Are you absolutely sure!"

"It's true," Rock Lee sobbed. "I-I saw her as the medic-nin raced her to the hospital, and she-she…she looked…Oh God! NEji…" and he trailed into a shudder, as his brain automatically turned to the scene he had witnessed an hour ago.

Tenten meanwhile stood beside the wall, horrified by the pain that was racking Rock Lee's face. She had seen it before, in other faces, and in other times. She saw it often in her sleep. It terrified her then. And now, she was even more so, because all of it was now real. Suddenly, she felt her knees buckle, and all her energy drained, leaving her vulnerable and weak.

It was that feeling again…deeper, more intense…

She blinked, once and twice…

Now there were visions… nightmares… dreams…

All of them confusing, Nothing made sense… Except one word… one clear word that seemed to rise from the depths trying to capture her.

Finally, she heard it. Finally, she knew who it was…

Without warning, she quickly slid to the floor, her eyes shocked, and glassy. Without the wall to support her, she would have fallen into a heap.

But that wasn't the worst of it… not one bit.

Rather, it was that strange dark, look that was now lurking within her eyes.

But no one seemed to notice.

Rock lee was still sobbing. Meanwhile, Neji was a block of ice.

He didn't move, not one inch, not a spasm or twitch of an eyebrow can be seen. Nothing. The only thing one could notice was the intense look on his eyes that seemed lost in somewhere, some place. He just stood still. But after closer inspection, one saw it.

His hands… his hands were shaking. After a while, one noticed a picture of a man being stretched on the rack.

Then, after a few moments, his head looked up. With his face completely devoid of emotion, he quietly inquired, "What happened?"

"I don't know. No one saw her this morning. After a while, someone saw her body lying outside the park," And here, Rock Lee bit his lip, giving the impression that he was that someone. Then he continued in a broken voice.

"She was barely conscious, but… she said one thing… it was barely audible, and I leaned into her to hear it, close, very close not that I stalled to call a doctor, but rather, I did it to keep her alive , not that she was already dead by then mind you, but rather to-"

"Lee," Neji's voice interrupted Rock lee's inane blabber. Rock Lee stopped.

"What did she say?" he muttered in a tight voice.

"Graveyard. That's what it was…"

TO that answer, Neji only nodded. He closed his eyes, and seemed to debate something inside his mind. After a moment's consideration, he finally opened it. Using controlled strides, he swiftly crossed the steps of his living room. Then with a quick flick of his hand, he opened the door, and went out.

He was about to cross the yard when he was stopped by a call from behind.

"Neji, what about Tenten!"

"Leave her!"

It was the first time after Lee's announcement that Neji raised his voice. Surprised by the anger he heard in his voice, Lee stepped back. But after a while, he surmised that Neji was just very upset, for obvious reasons. And with a quick bound over the fence, he crossed the yard, following Neji.

He didn't need to go far. In fact, he was slowly overtaking NEji. It wasn't that Neji was lagging, but rather, he was taking strong, controlled strides that seemed to take his time, and every minute. And his thoughts seemed to be taking him somewhere, far from the emotionless image of his face.

Hinata, his mind yelled in outrage. Of all people why did it have to happen to her. Why? Why? Why now? Why not a month ago? Why now, when he had finally forgiven her for being what she is, for being a Main family Hyuuga? Why now, when he already found out that he could respect her, and treat her as a sister, as someone who cares for him, and is not just a member of that cursed clan? Why? Why? Why now? Why did it have to happen when he already knew that he could cry!

Tears quickly filled up his eyes. But no one saw it, no one found out, all because, the summer breeze quickly reduced it to dust.

Suddenly, the heat seemed too much for him, and the dirt from the streets seemed to fill his lungs, choking him, making him wish for a cool shelter, somewhere he could hide. Someplace, where he could go back to being the emotionless beast that he used to be… so he wouldn't cry.

But the hospital was already here.

Slowly, he entered the building, wearing that mask that was his alone. Reducing his speed, he walked through the silent corridors, smelling of sickness and death. He headed towards the desk clerk, then upon glancing at the room to his left, find that going there to find her room was useless.

A throng of ninjas was already gathered there.

The teachers were present, seriously discussing the matters to themselves. Then, there was Kiba, bawling loudly, while Akamaru was howling in unison. There was Shino, Sasuke, and Shikamaru stone still, sitting in the corner, gazing off into space. There was Choji eating an apple, sniffling after each bite. Then there were Ino, and Sakura openly sobbing, while in the middle of the corridor was Naruto, tears running in his face, muttering curses and death threats to himself.

Rock Lee stood behind him, and with a light tap on his shoulder, he motioned him towards the door of the room.

His face emotionless, he immediately entered.

The whole clan was inside, he noticed. Everyone, closely, or remotely connected to his family seemed to huddle inside one spot, hiding it from his view. His quiet step was soon noticed by those near him. And with a quick nod from Hinata's father, he was instantly led to the bed where she lay.

He walked slowly, slowly, knowing what was in store for him, all the same dreading it. He hated the weakness he felt. He hurt her before, hadn't he? But this time was different, and he knew it.

This time he was seeing her bruised, battered, mutilated body, and finding that he cared.

The Hyuugas wouldn't forget it. Not ever. They would never forget how the Hyuuga prodigy fell on his knees, fiercely clutching the thin sheet that covered his cousin. It was as if, it was him who died. Then, they gazed at him curiously, expecting to see tears. But there was nothing. It all seemed as if he fell because of a mere accident, not because of grief. And that was what they concluded. That was what they knew of him. But they never knew.

Inside he was bleeding.

Inside, something was dying.

But they will never know.

Because after Hinata died, no one would see him weak again, he vowed.

Maybe that was the reason this happened…

This was the answer to all the questions he asked.

And he was going to fulfill it, he swore. No one will make him break it.

From this day forth…

No one would see him cry.