A/N: So, what did you think? I have an idea of where this is going…so you'll see. Additionally, I'M SORRY! I KNOW IT TOOK A LONG TIME! DON'T KILL ME! I'LL TRY HARDER!
Disclaimer: Nope. I don't. Really. I don't own Spirited Away. I don't. Or Indian in the Cupboard. Uh-uh. No. Or Pepto-Bismol. (You can tell this is going to be an interesting chappie, can't you?)
Sesshy-chan'sbestpal: Bien sur, pour votre ami: 'oui' est 'yes'.
Yessika: Although I like the compliment, I can't put out a chappie every few days. I have to write them, you know. Is this an oblique way of saying I need to write shorter chapters?
Early the next morning, Ushi arrived. Early. Very early.
"Hey! Koi! Iku! Wake up!" Fumi shoved Koi in the shoulder and poked the sleeping mound that was Iku.
"Wha-ah-ah-ah time is it?" Koi yawned, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Iku simply grunted and rolled up tighter in the handkerchief she used as a blanket.
"I don't know! About four…"
Koi moaned and flopped back onto her bed. "Whaddayawant?" she gasped, curling under her covers again.
"The Ox keeps his own hours." Fumi shook her finger at the two girls.
"Mmph. If he wants to speak to me he can make an appointment." Koi muttered, muffled by her blankets.
"Hey!" Fumi pulled them off of her, letting in a rush of cold air.
"Hay is for horses. I don't see you harassing Iku."
"If Iku wants to sleep in, she can. She won't be missed. You will. Up."
Koi very pointedly told Fumi what she could do, which resulted in Fumi pulling her up and propelling her out the door, snatching up Iku along the way.
"We'll be late!" she hissed.
"And your point is?" Koi yawned.
The Ox, an imposing pure white animal, stared down at Yubaba, who stood in front of him.
"Greetings, Ushi. I am Yubaba, the owner of this bathhouse." She told him pointedly, apparently trying to puff herself up in everyone's eyes.
Ushi blinked at her with his huge dark eyes. "I don't care." He said softly.
"On second thought, I do like this guy!" Koi whispered to Fumi. She had had to struggle not to burst into laughter at the sight of every bathhouse attendant in their pajamas, and Yubaba herself in a ruffled nightgown, adorned with jumping sheep and flowers, and now was having even more difficulty.
Yubaba opened and closed her mouth for a few seconds, and then looked around. Her eyes snapped onto Koi, standing with Iku on her shoulder holding onto her ear.
"You! Girl!"
"I have a name, you know." Koi told Yubaba as she waded through the half-asleep attendants.
Yubaba rolled her eyes. "I would like you to show the Ox around. If he wants anything, you can get it for him."
"Of course, old woman." Koi shot back then tapped on Ushi's shoulder. "Follow me."
Yubaba was struck dumb for a few seconds again. When she had recovered the power of speech, she snapped. "Everyone, go back to sleep. We're going to have a busy day tomorrow. Three more zodiac members are arriving."
The collective audience rushed back to their rooms, rushing to get an hour or two more of sleep.
"This is your room. You're between Nezumi and Tora. In the morning, everybody would be happy to serve you." Koi said sleepily, motioning at a huge door with a stylized rendition of an ox on it. "Any questions?"
"Yes. Why do you have a very small person on your shoulder?" Ushi blinked calmly at Koi.
"She's my big sister. She accidentally got some shrinking potion in her tea."
If the Ox could have raised his eyebrows, he would have. "Happen often here?"
"No, just this once, as far as I know."
"I'm really tired. Are you reallytired?" Koi lazily dried a dish.
"No, really? Of course I am you idiot. Didn't we all wake up at four?" Fumi attempted to look vicious, but failed miserably by yawning.
"They didn't." Koi pointed behind Fumi, who turned around and immediately blushed. Arata and Akio were approaching them, Akio holding a tiny bottle.
"Where's Iku?" Akio asked.
"She's upstairs." Koi grumbled. "Sleeping. Lucky-"
"We have the antidote to the shrinking potion!" Akio put the held out the bottle.
"I'll go get her." Koi said flatly. She dried her hands off, and slowly made her way to her room. Iku was already up, and puttering around the room.
"Good morning, Koi!"
"Well look who's acting as if she had four cups of coffee."
"I didn't have any coffee, but I had more than twelve hours of sleep!"
"And you're probably the only person in this bathhouse who has." Koi smothered a yawn. "The two wizardy people have the antidote to your shrinkingness."
"Is shrinkingness even a word?" Iku jumped onto the bed and bounced on it a little.
"I don't think wizardy is either." Koi scooped up her sister, who writhed out of her grasp and sprinted up her arm.
"Well look who's feeling chipper." Fumi greeted Iku as the sisters arrived back.
"Isn't today a wonderful day?" Iku did a little dance.
"For you maybe." Fumi uncorked the bottle that Akio had given her. "Any illuminating pieces of wit you'd like to share about being small?"
"You get to sleep late."
"Okay, that's enough. Where'd you put that shrinking potion?"
Iku sighed. "Give me that." She took the bottle out of Akio's hands. It was nearly as tall as she was. She tilted it, and grabbed hold of the cork. Once she had a secure grip as possible, she writhed, attempting to pull the stopper out of the mouth of the bottle. Five minutes later, she glanced up, defeated. "I give up."
"Come on!" Koi clapped her hands. "You can do it, Iku!"
"I consider this harassing a cripple." Iku snapped at her sister. Koi sighed, and pulled the cork out of the bottle with one swift motion.
"You're not a cripple." Koi patted her shoulder. "You are a perfectly able, healthy, living action figure."
"Great. Now I know how the Indian in the Cupboard felt." Iku's cheerful mood had evaporated. "I just have about a HUNDREDTH of the muscle mass of a normal person.
"Oh. Really?" Koi's eyebrows shot into her hair. "You're that small?"
"Yes, I am that small." Iku struggled to pick up a spoon on the table. Once she had it firmly in grasp, she handed it to Fumi, who was visibly trying to suppress her laughter.
"Give me a lot." Iku tapped on the bottle next to her, and Fumi, covering her mouth, measured a brimming teaspoonful of the stuff.
"Do I really have to drink that?" Iku stared at the spoon, then up at the two sorcerers. "It looks like Pepto-Bismol."
"Really." Akio was trying not to smile, but he couldn't stay serious for much longer; already his chin was quivering.
"Huh." Iku took a sip, and immediately gagged and spit it back out. "What is in that stuff? Not only does it look nasty, but it tastes awful too!"
"Bitterest herbs, picked at midnight by a moon spirit. Drink it." Arata was the only one not in a stitch.
"Maybe ice would work. I heard that it numbs the taste buds enough to be able to drink this." Koi looked around for some ice, and vanished into the neighboring kitchen.
Now there's a candidate for the strange trivia king…erm, queen." Iku noted sarcastically, and sat down dejectedly on the cork of the antidote bottle.
"Iku, you have to drink this." Fumi managed to smother her laughter enough to sound sympathetic.
"I know. This is awful, being tiny like this." Iku held up her hand, staring at the microscopic veins running through the back of it. She stood up, and kicked at the bottle sitting next to her. "Oooowoooooo!" she yelled, hopping around on one foot, and holding her stubbed toe.
"Here!" Koi came trotting back into the kitchen, holding a piece of ice dripping in her palm. She set it down on the table, and Iku hopped over to it.
"This thing is HUGE." Iku snapped. She held her foot against it. "So what am I supposed to do?"
"Lick it, until your tongue and taste buds are numbed." Koi told her sister scientifically. "Wow, I sound so scientifical! I should get an MD!"
Iku licked the block, sliding her tongue up the ice in what she imagined was a sexy, go-go dancer type of way, but instead made her look incredibly foolish, especially when she stopped and said something nearly inaudible.
"Tsk, tsk, Iku!" Fumi looked shocked. "What a dirty mouth! I would have your mouth washed out with soap for that!"
"Mah thung eth thduk do de ithe." Iku said out of the corner of her mouth.
"Could you repeat that please?" Akio covered his mouth surreptitiously, trying to hide his smile.
"Oh, dear." Koi's intelligent air evaporated. "She's got tongue-on-pole syndrome."
"Tongue on pole?" Arata picked up the ice cube, and nearly lifted Iku up into the air by her tongue. "Oh, that."
"What should I do?" Akio looked around helplessly for a few seconds, at the thinly veiled laughter of the other three people, then picked up Iku, Ice block and all, and melted the ice with a few quick words.
Iku, who had been sitting on top of the ice cube, fell into his hand with a muffled splash. She stood up, wringing out her sleeves, and announced. "Alm rethy furr ma pothin thow."
"What?" everyone looked at her strangely, until she walked over to the bottle with the potion in it and tapped on the side.
"Oh…that." Koi picked up the spoon, measured a few drops of potion, gave it to her sister, and then waited expectantly for something to happen.
"Well? Why am I still small?"
"I don't know…" Akio picked up the bottle. "It looks right." He smelled it. "You fool!" he snapped at his brother. "It's cough medicine!"
A/N: SORRY it took so long, but I've been REALLY busy. You know, what with boarding school and all that.