A Dire Situation
Chapter Eighteen
As soon as Rhett had felt Scarlett begin to return his kisses, he knew there was no turning back. He couldn't have stopped himself now, even if he'd wanted to.
Rhett had always kept his guard up around Scarlett, always kept a check on his emotions lest they break away and betray what it was he really felt. He had always been afraid of that. Letting Scarlett know how much she meant to him.
He'd known so many women, and seen so many places and yet, of them all, only one had ever set itself so firmly in his mind. There was something special about Scarlett O'Hara. Something he didn't dare give a name too for fear of underestimating it. He didn't know what it was, but he knew it was there. She was unique. And he had to have her.
He had long since known that to have her was a need and not a want. Oh certainly he wanted her, he always had, ever since the first time he had laid eyes on her that eventful day at Twelve Oaks, but it had soon become apparent that it was not just lust that caused his frequent reappearances in her life.
He felt as though he needed her, all of her. Needed to posses her, make her his. He had always been a selfish man and whatever he wanted, he wanted all to himself. From there had stemmed his hatred of Ashley Wilkes.
Scarlett had thought, within herself, that she belonged to Ashley. This was something Rhett, unaccustomed to losing, could not deal with.
So Rhett hated Ashley, loathed him, saw him as his greatest enemy. And that was the worst part about it.
Rhett always regarded himself as superior to Ashley. Both had had the same beginnings, received the same privileges, and yet Rhett had made something more of himself. He'd gone beyond the line so far he couldn't even see it anymore. And he'd laughed all the way to the bank, becoming prosperous and successful.
Rhett was no fool, he could see how alike himself and Ashley really were. When the war was imminent, both men hadn't wanted it. Neither saw glory and victory but instead bitter disappointment. Neither had wanted to fight, and it could never be said that either man was a coward.
Yes, Rhett knew that he shared many ideas with Ashley Wilkes. But it was their actions, their completely contrary actions that made them so different. It was their actions that made them who they were and Rhett had always considered that he acted in a much better fashion than Ashley ever did.
So that was why Rhett found the fact that he was is constant competition with Ashley Wilkes so intolerable. In his mind there should be no competition. He should be the victor and for the life of him he could not understand why Scarlett had never seen it.
Until now that is.
Finally it seems Scarlett had realised that Rhett could offer her things that Ashley never could.
She'd needed money to pay her taxes and when she'd asked Ashley he was of no help to her, why he'd even sat back and watched with knowledge fairly suffocating his heart when she'd packed her bags and set of to Atlanta. To Rhett.
He hadn't been man enough to be able to save her home or her honour.
And Rhett knew that Scarlett now realised this.
Scarlett had always been a terrible liar. She was as easy to see through as freshly washed glass. That was why Rhett had known, known from the flippant tone of disregard in her voice as she dismissed Ashley Wilkes with a toss of her pretty head, that she was over him.
So now Rhett felt as though it was finally his chance. His bitter rival had fallen and he knew at that moment he had started on a journey that would either destroy him or Scarlett, or them both. Well either that, or it would make them both happier than, he knew, either of them had the right to feel.
His kiss was bruising and tender, powerful and soft, exciting and calming. It was everything that Scarlett needed at this moment and she couldn't remember a time when she had felt so stimulated and yet so relaxed and at ease.
She hadn't expected this. She had expected Rhett to rage at her, strike her, kill her. Or toss her off, tell her he didn't care what she did. But never had she expected this. This sudden onslaught of kissing that left her weak kneed and breathless.
She was drowning in the tide of her own emotions and she couldn't break the surface to allow herself to clear her head.
She was too far gone, and she knew it, it was dangerous, and she didn't care.
All she really knew was that at last, someone was supporting her instead of the other way around. That finally she would have someone to lean on, someone strong and capable of taking care of her.
Certainly, Rhett had rejected her plea for help the first time she had asked him. She hadn't forgotten that and she wasn't about to.
But he had come to her tonight. Surely that must mean he cared about her, even if only a little. He cared about what became of her.
She knew he'd been horrified that she had gotten herself into this mess. He hadn't said it in so many words but she knew that the prospect frightened him. She had been thinking clearer than it had appeared when she was raging at him. She knew there was only one reason why Rhett Butler thought it was alright for her to disregard her honour in order to be his mistress but not in the case of anyone else.
He cared for her, it was as simple as that. He wanted her, but he didn't want to share. And Scarlett, whose mind had never quite grown past that of the indulged, vain, belle of the county took that as plenty proof that Rhett cared for her.
After all, who would bother to make such a fuss of something if it didn't mean something to them?
He'd come tonight to stop her going through with it. Or perhaps he feared she had been entertaining someone at the very moment he walked in?
Scarlett didn't know. Nor did she care to find out for she preferred to think that Rhett cared for her, even if his reasons were a little shady.
She did know however that she was glad he'd come. There was a sense of power about Rhett that Scarlett had never felt around another man and she felt now, as she was in his arms, that finally, she was safe.
But then, suddenly, without warning Rhett swept Scarlett off the ground roughly into his arms, crushing her body against his chest the same way as his lips remained crushed against hers.
The abrupt action had unclouded some of Scarlett's thoughts and she began to see the reality of the situation.
But there was no time for that. Rhett with all his strength made the walk to the bed in three long strides his muscles rippling powerfully beneath his clothing and Scarlett could feel their movement.
Rhett laid her down on the bed, softly, gently and then hovered over her a second, looking into her eyes, perhaps searching for something in the wavering red light, before he began kissing her again.
His mouth was stronger against hers now. His kisses seemed more purposeful, more urgent.
His hands were running frantically up and down the length of her body, the only thing between them and her bare skin her filmy negligee. And Scarlett had no doubt in her mind as to what his intentions were.
Of course she had experienced intimate relations with Charles. But they had been nothing at all like this. Scarlett was of the school of her mother and ladies like her and so she knew, or at least thought she knew, that the sharing of a bed between a man and a woman was something to be endured not enjoyed. This, she thought, had been proved to her by the awkward, fumbling painful sparse intimacies she had shared with her husband of so little time.
But now she was not so sure.
She had never felt pleasure like she was feeling with Rhett at this very moment. Not even when the few moments she had spent in the arms of Ashley Wilkes had been able to evoke such a response from her body.
Every inch of her flesh felt alive as Rhett stroked it or kissed it. There was an unexplainable fire in her belly and without her realising it her hands had begun to run themselves through Rhett's fine, dark hair of their own accord.
She was frightened and exhilarated.
Even had she wanted to stop she wasn't sure she would have had the strength to do so.
Rhett's kisses grew stronger and stronger his mouth and hands assaulting her own humbling and comforting her with their intensity.
And then suddenly his kisses stopped. Scarlett remained lying there, eyes closed, confused, waiting impatiently for him to continue.
"Look at me Scarlett" came Rhett's voice from the darkness of consciousness. And his voice was so full of emotion that Scarlett's eyes flew open.
His hand extracted itself from where it had been stroking her thigh and he grabbed her chin with it forcing her to look right at him.
His eyes frightened her. They were glittering with power, with emotion and with pain. And when he spoke again his voice portrayed what his eyes expressed.
"Do you know what you're doing Scarlett?"
She was trembling with repressed emotion and his question was confusing to her. Her mind was clouded and she couldn't think.
'Well Rhett" she began, and she silently cursed how weak and feeble her voice sounded.
"I umm… that is to say we… I mean I thought that we…" she had no idea what to say. She knew exactly what it was they were doing but never had she ever had cause to have such an open discussion about the topic. It just wasn't right and she was embarrassed about it.
Rhett chuckled slightly, interrupting her attempts, and the sound was familiar, comforting.
"No my dear I believe you misunderstand me. I do not mean to ask you if you know what it is we are physically doing. You were married my dear and have a child I am certain you are, at the very least, aware of the act itself. No that is not what I am asking you"
He was still on top of her and Scarlett could feel his strength and passion as acute as it had been before. Why would he interrupt to ask her silly riddles?
He tightened his hold on her chin.
"This is serious my dear, I need to know. Do you know what you're doing?" His voice was commanding, serious.
"Why Rhett I..." she began but he interrupted her.
"Because God help me Scarlett I want to do this. I've wanted to do this ever since the first time I ever laid eyes on you. I've wanted to and I've needed to. But so help me I'm not going to do anything that you don't want me to. I care about you to much for that."
Something must have changed in her eyes for he shook her slightly then.
"Damn it Scarlett it's true I do care. I want you almost as much as I care about you and that's saying something. You consume me my dear when I want nothing more than to consume you. All of you, your heart, your soul, your mind, your body."
As he said the last he pressed his body even closer to hers and kissed her with commanding force as though voicing his desires had made them even stronger.
"I was so angry when I found out what you'd done Scarlett. That you'd come here to…" he faltered slightly "…to work"
He pressed his face into the curve of her neck and kissed it, breathing deeply as though he was trying to inhale her.
"Because you were right when you said it Scarlett. I want you, but I want you all to myself."
She hadn't realised it, but all the while Rhett had been talking, her hands had been running up and down his back, her nails raking his skin softly. And at his final words, his words that expressed his desire to have her only for himself, she involuntarily pulled him to her, bringing her body up to meet his at the same time. Joining her lips to his and kissing him until she felt faint with breathlessness.
Rhett was thrilled by her action, thrilled and surprised, but it wasn't enough, he had to know. He had to hear her say the words.
He broke the kiss and gently swept her tumbled hair off of her forehead, staring intently into her eyes.
He was breathing heavily, as was she and Scarlett felt her body shudder with anticipation of what was to come.
Rhett wanted her.
Well, she had always known that. He had always made his thoughts on that matter particularly frank. Scarlett had always known he wanted her body, but she had always thought that that was the end of his desire for her.
She had never thought of herself as of any greater consequence to him than any of the girls that worked at Belle's. He wanted her body like he wanted theirs. She was an object, a plaything, his 'pet'.
But evidently that was not the case.
He wanted the rest of her as well.
And he wasn't like the rest of her beaux who had thought they wanted her mind and soul. They hadn't known her, hadn't known what she was really like. They had only known the front she put up, the façade. The careful glances and comments and blushes taught to her by her mother in order to catch a husband.
But Rhett, Rhett knew her. He knew what she was really like. He knew the awful things about her that she managed to hide from everyone else. He knew about those things and he respected her for them.
This thought warmed Scarlett more than she was aware. She had spent so much time toiling and working, slaving away for other people. And while they appreciated what she gave them they still almost managed to think less of her for the way she went about it. None of them knew her and if they did then they wouldn't want to.
With Rhett it was the other way around. He had never stopped short of telling her that the moment she became an upright respectable citizen he'd walk out the door and never return. He liked her for what she was.
She was giddy with the knowledge and she wanted to absorb the moment for what it was, drink it in. But Rhett pressed on with his conversation.
"But I must know Scarlett" he punctuated each of those words with kisses but then stopped abruptly and stared intently at her as he continued.
"Do you want this?"
Scarlett was silent. She didn't know what to say, she just gazed up at Rhett as though transfixed by his black eyes.
Did she want this?
She didn't know.
But she did know that she didn't want it to stop.
Not now. Not yet. The feelings he was evoking. The feelings of safety, security, warmth and appreciation were too strong to just let go of.
Scarlett's mind was racing almost as fast as her heart.
Rhett was silent. Waiting intensely for her answer.
Scarlett did the only thing her mind could think to do. She kissed him.
She reached up with her hands and pulled his head towards hers, pressing her lips on his, releasing all the passion she felt burning inside of her.
Rhett kissed her back.
A second passed, a minute, an hour, a day, Scarlett didn't know how long it really was but suddenly Rhett was pulling away.
"I'm sorry my dear but that won't be enough. I need you to tell me. Tell me that this is what you want. I need to know for sure."
Scarlett heard the urgent longing in his voice and she knew it would take an awfully cold hearted person to not respond to the plea that was so clearly behind it.
So she did all she thought it was possible for her to do.
She said yes.
"Yes Rhett" she breathed running her hand so lightly up his arm that it made him shudder.
"Say it again Scarlett. I need to know that you're sure"
"Yes Rhett I do. I do want this."
And he was kissing her again. Kissing her with more ardour than Scarlett thought was possible to posses.
And then just as suddenly as the entire encounter of the evening had started. It stopped.
Rhett disentangled himself from Scarlett's willing arms and climbed off of the bed.
Scarlett stared at him, her eyes wide and confused, her lips red and swollen, her body heaving with passionate breath.
"Rhett…" she began, unsure of what to say. Why had he stopped? Where was he going? Anything she said would sound so unladylike. But she needed to know. Had she done something that had displeased him?
"I apologise for having disturbed your sleep Mrs Hamilton." He said with all the calm that was characteristic of Rhett.
"I do hope you'll forgive me. I must be off now. I bid you goodnight."
And with that he was gone.
Scarlett lay alone in her room, unmoving for what seemed like a lifetime after he left.
What had just happened?
How had she let things go to far? And more importantly, why did thy stop?
There was an ache in Scarlett's heart that she refused to recognise as disappointment, as longing.
But that was what it was.
She didn't know how long she lay there awake, trying her hardest to think things over, getting nowhere. But when morning came and she was awoken by the soft voice of young Elizabeth, it was entirely unexpected.
"Good morning Miss Scarlett." Said the girl softly as she set something down on the bedside table and walked over to open the curtains.
Bright light flooded the room and the first things Scarlett saw was her wrapper lying discarded on the floor by the chair by the fire and the burnt out candle sitting on the mahogany desk. Remnants of last night.
Scarlett pulled her coverlet over her head. She had made no advance on analysing what had taken place last night and the entire circumstance still utterly confused her. She didn't want to deal with it at this moment.
"I've bought your breakfast up Miss Scarlett. It's just there next to your bed. Please take your time eating it and then ring for me when you r ready to get up. For I am to dress you and then Ms Watling requests an audience with you as soon as you are disposed to give it."
It was all too many words and Scarlett wasn't ready to cope with them.
Her mind was still reeling from last night.
Where was Rhett now? What was he feeling? Why had left so suddenly?
She had so many questions she needed answers too. But then one thing struck a cord in her mind.
See Belle?
She couldn't. She wouldn't.
Belle had betrayed her, and what if Rhett had told her everything?
'Oh what a mess I've made' she thought.
And yet, when Scarlett O'Hara had to face something, she faced it. Nobody would call her a coward. And surely Belle Watling couldn't be anymore frightening than the Yankees.
"I'm not that hungry thank you Elizabeth. So I shan't take any breakfast. Have someone fix me a bath and then you may dress me.
While Elizabeth went about settling Scarlett's orders, Scarlett lay back to think. But by the time she was bathed and dressed in a becoming pale blue water silk gown she had come no closer to divulging the mystery of last night.
'I'll think about that when I've gotten through this' she said to herself waiting outside Belle's parlour door, still a little bit shaky about her meeting with Belle.
Elizabeth had gone in to announce her and Scarlett waited back feeling somewhat like a student about to be berated by their headmaster.
"You may go in now Miss Scarlett" said Elizabeth as she stepped out of the room leaving the door slightly ajar.
It was a warm day today and Scarlett could see that the curtains of the parlour were thrown wide open admitting all the light that the sun could offer. It seemed a little too exposed to be comforting.
But in what was becoming a characteristic gesture, Scarlett tilted her chin a little higher in the air and strode in to Belle's parlour.
She made her way towards a settee but Belle stopped her.
"Don't bother about sitting down Scarlett. What I've got to say won't take very long and then you can be on your way."
Belle wasn't looking at her and Scarlett was intrigued.
Belle had always faced her squarely. Looked her in the eye as an equal. But now she was avoiding contact. As though she was embarrassed? Ashamed? Scared?
Whichever it was Scarlett felt she had to know.
But she wasn't given a chance to ask questions.
"Your services are no longer required here Scarlett." Said Belle abruptly as though she was determined to get to the point and get this meeting over with.
"But Belle I… I have a debt I need to repay you. I don't have the money. I have to work it off, that was the arrangement. I can't afford to pay you back."
Scarlett was confused. Three hundred dollars was a lot of money these days. She doubted even someone as prosperous as Belle could not afford to just let such a sum go. But then she also knew that Belle was aware that Scarlett did not have the money to give to her.
Why then would she discharge her so suddenly? It had to have something to do with last night. Something to do with Rhett.
"Don't you worry about the money Scarlett. It's dealt with and it's none of your concern anymore. Just see to it that you're out of this establishment by the end of the day. Thank you that will be all."
And with that Belle turned her back to Scarlett leaving no doubt in her mind that this conversation was over.
Scarlett entered what had been only a few moments ago, her room and saw that Elizabeth was already packing her things. She saw some of the beautiful gowns that Belle had given her being placed into her trunk and she hastened to remedy the situation.
"No no Elizabeth don't pack those, they don't belong to me." She said grabbing one or two out of the trunk and placing them delicately on the bed.
"Ms Watling said that you were to have them Miss Scarlett. That they're yours now."
Scarlett was dumbfounded. Why would Belle let her go without repaying her debt and then give her hundreds of dollars worth of beautiful clothing?
"That's not important Elizabeth. You tell Ms Watling once I'm gone that I don't want them. Please do not pack them. Only pack the things I came with."
Scarlett was determined to take back with her only what she had come with. However for some reason she couldn't resist, when Elizabeth had left the room for the moment, hiding amongst her own work worn things the filmy negligee she had been wearing the previous night.
She held it to her breast for a moment before placing it into the trunk and in doing so she caught a hint of that smell that was distinctly Rhett and her knees gave a slight shake.
As she checked her room again to see that she had not forgotten anything she had to stop and wonder if any of the strange events that had occurred today had anything to do with Rhett Butler.
Hello again to everyone who reads this story. And thank you to all those who have reviewed previous chapters I appreciate it very very much. I have a million apologies to make about how long this part took to arrive. I have been exceptionally preoccupied with decisions regarding my future study path. I do despise making life decisions. Anyway enough about that. I hope that you enjoyed this part. It turned out a bit longer than I expected. Please review I would love to hear about what you think about where the story is headed, what has happened so far etc etc. Oh and by the way, I have finally gained access to email again. So if you have any queries or comments etc please feel free to email me. The address is on my profile and I would be more than happy to email back. Thank you for reading and please review.