Hello everybody! Welcome to second installment of the story Cost of My Soul. I am your currently hurried author reminding you to review! Note to PriestessLennoue, InuPhoenix, and Mizuyu; thank you so much for the reviews! It's always a really nice thing to open your emails at eleven-something at night and seeing a review alert. If it weren't for the rule that we can't send out shout-outs to our reviews, I would have a personal message for the each of ya. BTW: Be ready to find this story shut down for that comment. grin.
Enjoy all!
Over the next few days, Kirara's health improved at a surprising speed.
She soon became my most constant companion. Whether it was hunting, healing the sick, or visiting the elderly, she would accompany me everywhere, almost as if she had become my shadow. A few days after her arrival, a large toad youkai and his hoard of frog demons attacked the village. As I was preoccupied with defending myself and a group of child-like adults against the toad, Kirara was able to defeat a staggering amount of the lesser frog demons within a few minutes.
As I look back on those days, I guess I am surprised to realize that Kirara was, in all honesty, the one and only friend I ever had. Life as a miko, despite how easy the tasks or small the village, was unbearably lonely. But, being raised to take over the position as "the village's head miko", I was accustom to the rough, draining days and the long, empty nights. With the aid of my beloved friend, I was able to find a way out of the darkness that would sometimes invade my thoughts and haunt my dreams.
It wasn't long till the village headmen started to speak against me. They had thought I had become too powerful, and was neglecting my religious duties. I wasn't too concerned about my position, or the possible uprising against my influence, until a group of women came up to me, worried looks on their faces. One woman, one I recognized as Hibari, was especially anxious to speak to me. After the customary bow-and-nodding ritual, she pulled me to the side with surprising force.
"Do you not know what the headmen are saying, my Lady?" She whispered hurriedly. The other women, all holding large bamboo-woven baskets of laundry, packed together, shielding us from the village's view. The headmen, always suspicious, would surly disapprove of their meeting with me.
"Yes, Hibari-san, I am aware." I said stiffly, immediately defensive. Kirara, ever-present at my heels, hissed slightly. I don't know why, but I took comfort in that.
She clutched at my arm tighter. "Then why aren't you doing something? Why do you insist on remaining here? You're in danger, Midoriko-sama! Samui-sama would surly have you killed!"
"For what?" I asked, a slight bubble of panic rising in my chest. What had I done?
"My Lady, I know you are bright. Please don't tell me you don't understand." She begged. Some of the women behind us started to whisper furiously…they must have caught wind of the nature of our conversation.
"What have I done?" I cried in alarm. "All I've ever been was a good and faithful miko; I never let anyone succumb to famine or demon."
Hibari-san lowered her voice, her bright eyes burning into mine. "Power." She whispered. "You let them succumb to the tempting taste of power. Once they've had but a little, they'll always be lusting for more." She gave me a look, imploring that I understand. "They want the hold you have over us. They want that same respect; that same love that you command so easily. You must keep an eye out for them." She lowered her voice. As she was about to say more, one of the woman shrilly said "My lord Samui!"
Hibari and I separated, her now-trembling hands clinging to her basket. I looked up to see Samui striding towards us, head in the air. His chest was pushed out with pride, and he grinned at a few of the ladies before they feel into a low bow. "Ladies, ladies. Please, go about with your daily ways."
The women, Hibari now one of them, bade me a final farewell and headed towards the stream. They were a clever lot; they made it look as if they had stopped for but a moment to merely exchange pleasantries with me before carrying on with their work. I marveled at their brilliance.
"Lady Miko." Samui said smoothly. I took my eyes off of my retreating allies to glare into his blackened pupils.
"My Lord." I said, just as smooth.
"I see there has been some uneasiness amongst the village." He smartly avoided any glance at the women in the distance; his eyes, so very much like a bird of prey's, remained trained on my expressions.
"Yes." I answered, glancing over at the darkening forest that hung at our little village's borders. "I've felt some uneasiness amongst the trees as well. I believe the typhoon season is approaching?"
He gave me a look of annoyance. "I don not believe that is causing the rumors of late." He snapped. His hands tightened into fists. "You are the one causing the uneasiness!"
"Me, Lord? Are you certain?" My heart was racing; here it came.
Kirara, Kami bless her soul, took note of my tense profile. "Mew." She rubbed up against my leg, one of her soft tails rapping itself around my ankle. I tried to draw courage from this.
"No, Samui-san. You will not banish me for merely fulfilling my duty." I said, threateningly focusing my energies on him. "I will not leave until my duties have been fulfilled."
"A woman's duty is not of fighting!" His eyes were blazing, boring into my head as if to get into my mind. "A woman's duty is in the home, tending to her men folk and children!"
"I am not a woman." I turned away, walking into the darkening forest, Kirara by my side.
"I am a miko."
I had been walking around in circles for a few hours before I finally regained my composure. My temper had a way of blinding me, but I hadn't actually lost control of it since I first started to hone into and use my spiritual powers. I remember, when I was younger, I was sent to an elderly miko to learn to control my budding powers. Back then, they were nothing but a blessing and a curse. My heightened senses made it hard for me, a child of four, to concentrate on other people. I was forever lost in a distant land of my own, one no one but I could see.
I would oftentimes, while I was still teething, stare at nothing but a blank wall for hours on end. While mothers in the village had to forever grab their child from touching the dancing embers of a fire, I always remained in the corner of the room, staring at nothing and saying as much as I wanted too, which was very little.
After my father would leave, my mother would oftentimes take me to be examined and on many occasions prayed over by the village monk, a man named Chie. He would slowly mutter chants and wave around sacred scrolls in my direction; as a child, I remember being fascinated with the flowing of his sleeves and the fluttering of the ancient paper.
One day, I was out by the ido, gathering water for my family's meals. An old woman, dressed in a warn-out yellow-and-blue kimono was walking alongside the edge of the meadow the well was. I noticed her before she noticed me; and I found her fascinating. The only old women in my village were too old to travel anywhere on their own; oftentimes, they would only ever leave their huts to scold my mother for her lack of discipline when it came to me. They never left me alone; I was always under their scrutiny.
The woman finally looked up, noticing my young face turned in her direction. She grinned and crossed the fields of herbs and flowers where I had often hidden. "Child." She called me, and reached out to touch my face. "You have a gift. Remember to use it."
Now, I was very confused. What was this woman talking about? "Nani?" I asked, but she continued to walk away from me. I watched her disappear into the early-morning mists, a slight gimp in her step.
Many months later, I was running toward the center of the town. Many rumors had been passed from hut-to-hut, rumors about an old woman in a yellow-and-blue kimono. I had grown up a little in those months; I had even come to a conclusion about what she had said to me that morning.
"Midoriko!" My mother was tearing after me, her hair falling out of its low pony-tail and a look of worry on her face. I often run ahead of her and it caused her much distress when she would find me again, usually being held by a large, burly seaman.
There she was! The woman I had seen so long ago was there, conversing with old Chie. I pushed my way through the crowd of idle people surrounding them and gawked at her. Her hair was still silver, her kimono still tattered, everything was the same as months past.
"Old woman!" I called out to her, raising my hand as high as I could. "Old woman!"
Her eyes, dark as a raven's wing, roamed the crowd until she found me. "Child." She nodded at me.
She did remember me! I grinned brilliantly as my mother caught up to me, out-of-breath. She grabbed my by the collar of my child's kimono and yanked me close to her. I resisted; I wanted to see this woman. I hadn't a clue why she was so fascinating. Maybe, as I look back, it was because she was the first one to call my 'problems' a gift.
As she and Chie were heading back to his home, her eyes met mine. She beckoned at me and my mother; I happily followed. My mother was more-or-less dragged.
Chie, despite the fact that he liked me as much as I liked him, allowed us in. I settled between my mother, now doubled-over and wheezing, and the woman. She gave me an amused look; she could read my emotions perfectly.
"So, you were saying, Sei-sama?" Chie started, kneeling across from her. Sei-sama grinned and glanced at me before facing him, her gaze unflinching.
"I understand you have problems with the child?" She asked him.
Chie and my mother exchanged a glance. How had she known?
"Well," he hesitated. "Yes, I admit. Midoriko-chan seems to have a problem."
Sei laughed, heartily. She looked over at Mother. "Do you agree?" She asked warmly, grinning at her.
My eyes widened. I had never thought about what Mother had to say about my problem; she always seemed to not be concerned until someone mentioned something I had done. I looked over at her. She had a look of surprise on her prematurely-lined face. "I, well," she stammered.
Sei raised her eyebrows. "You don't agree, Amadare-san?"
Mother shook her head wearily. "She's my daughter, Sei-sama. My child. I refuse to believe anything is wrong with her." Her eyes were burning brightly as she stared, defiant, at old Chie. Chie had a bewildered look on his face.
But Sei just nodded, confirming something. Mother smiled faintly at me.
Sei and Mother exchanged long, knowing looks. They seemed to have settled something, because Sei looked pleased and Mother looked like she was going to cry.
"Chie-sama, let me take the child."
"What?" I cried. "Take me where?"
Mother bent to hush me, and for once, I heeded her. I was confused, but determined to understand why I was going to be taken from my home.
Chie was as surprised as I was. "Why her?" He threw me a look of resentment. "Why bother with her? She's nothing but an insolent child that has to be disciplined."
Sei shook her head. "You do not notice, Chie? You, named 'Wisdom'? This child has a gift. She is powerful." She had taken a hold of one of my tiny hands in her rough ones. As she held it out, I noticed a faint pinkish glow emitting from my palm. This wasn't uncommon; it had happened often. There once was a time it glowed so brightly it woke my father up in the middle of the night.
Chie was amazed. He seized my hand and clung to it. I, still being a child, was frightened by this and tried to pull away, thinking about how hard he was clenching my frail wrist. He yelped and released me, grabbing his own, now-swollen fingers.
Sei smiled at me. "She can learn to control her powers. She could become a great miko one day."
My mother was smiling brilliantly through her tears at me. Had she always known? I wondered. "Mama?"
She looked over at me, a look of love in her eyes I had thought I imagined. "Musume, kodomo." She reached out and stroked my hair. I began to cry.
"Mother." I shook my head, my tears falling into my cheeks. "No, Mother, please." I flung myself against her knees, clutching at her faded-blue kimono. She continued to shush me and stroke my hair.
"I love you, Midoriko, and never forget that." She whispered.
I never really did. I can, at least say, I honored her in that way.
My mothered died a few years after I left. She was worked to death by my father and the village. They never quite forgave her for letting me go, escape into the wilderness with her love and blessing.
Oftentimes, I used my mother's last words to push myself to where I was and beyond. Sei-sama would remind me of her sacrifice, and told me in vivid detail of her love for me.
That wasn't the only thing, however, that I lost.
Author's Note: Well, I'm starting to tear up after writing that. I'm not exactly sure if I'm going to fast for everyone's tastes; I guess I'll just have to wait for the "What the hell where you thinking?" reviews. laugh. Please, guys, tell me what you think. Is it very Midoriko-ish?
Well, until then, I'll just have to assume it was relatively good and continue to type up something. grin. Lucky for you, I'm going to continuously write for your laughing pleasure.
Japanese Dictionary:
Hibari - skylark
Typhoon - hurricane
Chie - wisdom
Ido - well
Nani - what
Sei – spirit
Amadare - raindrop
Musume - daughter
Kodomo - child