Warning: Depression. Angst. Death? Agony. Tears. The kiss is here folks, deal with it. I'd reply indisviually, but I can't. so enjoy!
Chapter 16: 17 years
2 weeks later
"I put my heart into this…and you tear it out" Jake stammered, backed against the wall as Michael fumed at him with dark red eyes," I -- how could you…I fucking hate you-" His face snapped to the side as Michael lowered his palm," Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He screamed, tearing up." Just shut the hell up for a second!"
"I love you!" Jake screamed, hitting him in the chest," Why-"
"I had to!" Michael screamed back, shoving him against the wall with brute force. He stared deeply into his eyes as he whispered out," I had to because I love you"
"If you loved me you wouldn't have….you wouldn't have hit me…or abused me…you would've fucking said it-" Jake trailed off as Michael slammed a palm against the wall in agitation.
"I TOLD YOU IT EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOU WENT TO SLEEP" He yelled out in agony. " Oh Matt, you just never knew…"
Roscoe sat in the front row, biting his knuckles.
Last before Final act, opening day, full house.
Robert and Alex sat next to him, watching intently. When they had found Michael and Jake they had been reciting lines from the play in the theater by themselves.
Michael never told Jake he knew.
And now the three of them waited for the last scene:
The kissing scene.
"Don't you know I can't live without you? It hurts to breathe without you. I could give a fuck less about if I was obsessed or not. I love you…I love you….understand that?" He yelled, grabbed him by the arms and kissed him…
The audience gasped.
Roscoe cocked his head to the side.
Alex and Robert held hands.
Michael gently ran his fingers through Jake's hair as slowly as he could, gently nipping at his bottom lip before almost shyly wishing for permission to past through his lip and have access to his mouth. Jake let out a wimpy moan, nodding in approval as he kissed him, tongue in cheek, hands finding their way down the other's back.
Jake's eyes widened as he suddenly wrenched forwards in pain.
Roscoe frowned, this wasn't part of the script…
"Jude….I…." Jake stopped, trying to breath again. " I have to tell you something…"
"Whatever it is I'll face it with you, we can be together…take it in strides….oh I love you so much can't you see? We'll take on anything together" Michael said quickly, kneeling down besides him." What is it, love?"
"I have HIV" Jake murmured out limply as he fell into his arms. Michael looked out at the crowd, that one look, in his eyes, the people saw it.
And then the curtain closed.
The whole room was silent.
Robert and Alex sat there in their seats, shock written all over their faces. Roscoe threw the script down to the floor in victory as the whole audience busted out into applause.
Meanwhile back stage Jake clasped into his chair near the mirror and began to cry. Cry hard. The hardest he had ever cried in his life. And he loved every minute of it. Those bitter tears are what saved his sanity. And then he got up suddenly and went over to Michael, who was breathing heavily. " That was horrible"
"Devastating" Michael added.
"Heartbreaking…." Jake sighed.
"Extraordinary" They said at the same time a blushed.
"Sorry…" Jake trailed off," A friend of mines…we used to use that word a lot"
Michael smiled sadly," They want us back on stage, Jake. We have to do the next act"
"Okay, Pete" Ryan said, shaking his best friend," Get up please"
"I don't want to…arg…" Pete said, throwing a pillow at Ryan, who just ducked out of the way. " Let me sleeepppppp"
"We have to get to the gallery in 10 minutes you sloth, I've let you sleep all day" Ryan yelled, poking him," Now get up or else!"
"Wait, 10 minutes?" Pete asked, springing up quickly," Why did you let me sleep that long?"
"Because you look pale as hell" Ryan remarked, jumping into his jeans and looking for a brush, which Pee tossed to him as Ryan tossed him the comb," This is so dumb, Rye. Why do I bother with these things? I'm such a failure…"
"No you're not Pete. Ever since you came to France you've been acting different"
"Had a boyfriend" He suddenly sniffled. " Had a boyfriend that appreciated me and I fucked it up"
"God…" Ryan moaned out, hugging Pete while still brushing his hair," How did you-"
"Pierre" Pete murmured and Ryan's face paled at the memory of his mom," His name was Pierre and he was a chef, so sweet, so kind and I just fucked it up….because I--"
"Because you what, Pete? Hurry up, we have to leave now…." He dragged him towards the door, buttoning both their shirts and looking for his keys which were in his pocket. Meanwhile the elevator door opened just in time for a sandy blonde head to slip through and although that may not seem important now it is.
"He broke up with me because I told him his new pastry, the pattir-de-mesie tasted like shit" Pete cried as Ryan busted out into laughter," Peter you are so weak, what happened to you. And what the hell is a pattir-de-mesie?"
"I don't know! He said it sounded French…" He laughed little himself.
"He's douche" Ryan said plainly, hugging his best friend," He's not worthy"
"You know….you're right…he's not…." Pete smiled out," Thanks Rye, I need that"
"No problem, now haul ass…." He ran to the elevator," Excuse me, please wait hold the blood-" He stopped as a pair of dark green eyes met him and his heart froze. "…door…"
The person on the other side looked equally panicked and pressed the close door button before the doors slid shut and the elevator went down. " What was that all about?" Pete asked, scratching his head.
"He looked familiar…like a ghost…." Ryan trailed off, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose before he remembered the face," Fuck"
"Wake up" Someone whispered into his ear," Show time"
Jake sat up with a jerk in the middle of the stage, apparently he blacked out in the middle of one of his lines but Andrew's face seemed to weak and gentle he just smiled and tried to fabricate words. " I said I loved you-"
"And I hit you" Andrew murmured sheepishly," My anger…I'm sorry, you reminded me of someone, that's all. Oh God, I get so nervous some times"
"I was thinking of someone else as well" Jake rubbed his eyes, sitting up and meeting the crowd. He touched his eye gently," It does hurt though…."
"I'm so sorry…" Andrew leaned in quickly, brushing his lips on the slightly blackened eye and sat back up quickly, turning away," I shouldn't be here…."
Jake got up quickly and pulled at their arm," No, you're the only person that should be here…" He pulled him into another gentle, but rough, kiss. But this time Andrew put his all into it, all the insecurities, all the pain, all the emotion he had left. And well, it nearly knocked Jake off his feet as he opened his eyes and looked so terrified that Andrew would've dropped him. " You…" He sneered out, shakily. He placed a palm to his head," You kiss like so…I…" He closed his eyes, keeping his voice down so the audience couldn't hear him," You kiss like someone I love…."
"That's because I am the someone that you love, Jake" Andrew said quietly, holding him gently.
"Mikey…?" Jake coughed," No….can't be, promised I'd never love again…no I promised….myself…and I….tried, oh god no, I never wanted to hurt….I don't want to hurt anymore…" He tried to push himself from Andrew but he didn't let go. " This is the price of being an actor" Michael said quietly as he smiled at the stage and continued with his dialogue," Matt, do you -"
"But all this time, it's been a lie!" Jake screamed, pushing away and covering his hands with his head.
"We should stop this now" Alex said in a panicked voice, about to get on stage when Roscoe pulled him down," No, I have too much riding on this"
" It was not-"
"Oh yes it was, you knew didn't you.. And you fucking knew that….God I-!" Jake was becoming hysterical, running and tackling Andrew to the floor.
"The effects are so real" A woman in the audience exclaimed, covering her mouth.
"Punching me won' solve anything Jake, finish the performance and then beat the shit out of me" Andrew said as Jake reached for his eyes and pulled at the surface slightly, knocking the contacts out. He looked at them in shock, " Brown…." He looked at his eyes, the same bright green.
His heart plummeted.
"Why Mikey?"
Michael's heart broke," You did this to me" he reached a hand down to grab Jake back up but he didn't take it, and instead got slapped across the face and onto his back, in which Jake climbed forwards and proceeded to slap him multiple times," If I had known that you were the way you were now I would've killed myself a long time ago to spare us all the pain and suffering that we have now and I don't rally care if I hurt anyone else in the process! You have no idea how much I've been hurting all these years-" Michael reached up and smacked him and pulled him down with him, " No, you are the worst thing to ever happen to me, all you do is cause pain, but I love you too much to let you go"
"You've let me go before"
"And I want to die every time I think about it"
"But you lied"
"Because you were so weak"
"Because I'm so weak? Look at you, what the hell makes you so special"
"Because I know how to move on"
"I hardly call this moving on"
"I don't care what you think I don't need you anymore"
"Apparently you do because look at your arm, you're practically borderline dead anyway"
"And you're so much better how dare you ever compare yourself to me like that"
"I'm saying his because it's true"
"Then kill me right now"
Half of the audience's faces paled.
"This is becoming disturbing" One woman whispered to another.
"Oh hush, it's delightfully homoerotic" She waved a hand at her friend.
"You've been gone-"
"I've been lost-"
"If you love me so fucking much why did you leave me in the first place can't you see how I burn for you and how much I live and a how much I wish that I could be with you and how much I hurt every second that I'm not with you it makes me weep at night did you know that you think you know so fucking much about me but you don't you don't know shit and I should just do it…end it all right now right?" Jake got up, crawled really, over to the table and grabbed the plastic knife..
"Roscoe we have a problem…" An assistant came over running to him.
"What is it John, not now…too good , must watch…" Roscoe said, waving his hand,
"No, I mean it, Roscoe, the knife, It's real…. We forgot to replace the fake, Frank put the wrong thing…."
"What?" Roscoe asked, finally listening.
Jake ran his palm across it and eyes opened wide when a slit actually appeared, but it wasn't anything new to him. It wasn't the first time…
"Oh dear," One woman covered her son's eyes.
"Don't-"
"Let's give them a real performance" Jake sneered out, holding up the knife in the air," Come on, Jude, show me perfection"
"No!" Michael ran across the stage and onto Jake as soon as the blade made a sound.
"Jake, no!" Roscoe yelled, getting up from his seat in a sudden bust out emotion.
Several cries from the audience erupted and many woman fainted.
Alex shook in Robert's arms," what have we done?"
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