Azury: When you look at it, Jamie has down a wonderful Job actually. I mean, Michael could've been dead by now, Jake may have killed someone by now knowing him and whatever else complication they may have gotten into already. Marco's situation will be explained in the next chapter. Don't worry. Pete and Ryan? Heh, you'll see. Anything goes luv. Love you as well.
BlackRoseOnFire : Can I just call you rain? Cause it's like totes easy to write and I don't want to call you "Flamey". I don't want it to end either, but I feel so….like, I don't know. I just think it should end. I don't want to drag it out and have it be shit. Adrian flashbacks were always my favorites to write, because him and Michael had such a pure love. Jake kill Rory? Wow, where'd you get that from? Jake is creepy. Dylan sucks. Hard. And not in the good Blew Him before You Way, either, but in the You. Just. Suck. Way. I'm downloading the episode from Canada. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEY HAD A NEW DUDE NAME TIM WHO WAS GAY? I COULD'VE HAD LIKE… A MILLION SLASH IDEAS. Panic! At the disco pwns. I can send you some songs if you want, cause I luffers you so much. My favorite song from them is Tacks For Snacks, Nails For Breakfest.
Bee: Alex and Jake OTP eh? Jamie is good, don't worry!
Chapter 19: Soul, Boy.
.Jake's movement faltered as he walked backwards quickly into Alex, who caught him with open arms," It's an intervention" Alex mumbled quietly," To help settle this"
"I don't want to settle this…." Jake whispered out in a child like voice, eyes tearing.
Michael looked away in shame," I told you Robert" He said it quickly," I knew this was a bad idea"
"What do you want?" Jake suddenly asked, looking up and staring at Michael with dark eyes. The emerald orbs that he once stared so ardently at now caused him nothing but pain and fear. " Why do this to me again?"
"Do this to you again?" Michael snorted," You've got to be kidding me. After all these years you still think you're the victim in all of this?"
"I am" It's whispered in a tone that makes Michael do a double take, a soft voice that he hadn't heard in a long time. " I try, you know. To keep everything down, but it's so hard…don't you understand"
"Don't pull this on me now, don't try and act like you're the one who was abused in all of this. It's like you have a fucking split personality or something!" Michael suddenly yelled out, losing his cold demeanor.
Jake closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, a deep headache coming on. His eyes fluttered for a second before he moaned out," You didn't even use a condom, you whore" He spits out the words as he suddenly reaches forwards and wrapped his hand around his throat," I should make you pay for all the pain that you cause him"
"Him?" Michael chokes out, automatically trying to get his fingers from around his neck, " Jake…"
"Oh don't call me that" Jake's eyes darkened under his stare. " Please, call me -"
"Michael" The name is hissed out as everyone turns around to see a shaggy blonde haired man standing there breathless, leaning over the door knob.
"Who are you?" Michael asked, still within Jake's grasp.
"He was talking to me" Jake said, letting Michael's neck go momentarily," Hello Jamie, haven't seen you in a while"
"Whose he?" Alex murmured to Robert, who was rubbing Michael's now slightly bruised neck. " Wait, he's the guy from the street corner in holly wood when I used to….work with Adrian…" Michael trailed off a little.
"Michael, Jake, whatever, come on, you're coming with me, to the hospital. Where you belong. You're not stable like this" Jamie says defiantly, looking at him. " Don't do this, not to yourself"
"What are you talking about? I'm fine….fine, perfectly fine, can't you see, I have him" Jake pointed at Michael, " The person who I hate most in the world, see, perfect. Cause you know there's nothing better than having the person that you used to love so fucking much rub in your face that they've moved on and that you're still a piece of schizophrenic shit. And Isn't it wonderful that after all these years he's finally grown so big, look at him. No longer a slut, no longer abused and oh, look at his pretty little eyes, how could Jake be so stupid as to not realize that his one and only love, the person that he yearns for, burns for, dreams of --" He paused," No offence Alex," Then laughed," Was right in front of him all along?"
Alex's shoulders slackened a little as he looked to the floor.
"And I wasn't done, I never was done with him" Jake spat, glancing at Michael. " All these years, I've been so close to just getting rid of him and yet Jake always finds a way to save him-"
"Why do you hate me so much?" Michael suddenly asks, tired of being quiet.
"Because he loves you so much" Jake replies with a sneer, " Loved you so much it gave him headaches, horrible ones, that lasted for weeks. I was tired of hearing him swoon over you of all people. I was tired of him thinking about you, talking about you, seeing you, breathing you, wanting to be near you. Made me sick. How could someone have that much love for one person is beyond me"
"So all this time it was you who…who hurt me?"
"Jake would never lay a finger on you" He snorted, " You know that"
"And all those kisses-"
"Me" Jake said proudly," I consider myself Jake's better half…."
Jamie sighed out in agitation before moving over to Alex," Did he ever take his pills?"
"What pills?" Alex asked, confused.
"I'll take that as a no" Jamie frowned as the door opened once more and Roscoe came bounding in. " What's going….on?" He trailed off, looking at everyone, " Hello Jamie"
"How do you-" Jamie stopped," Oh….Randy"
"Yeah, Randy" Roscoe nodded. " Remember, little boy with the toothless smile"
"That was you?" Jamie squinted a little," Shit"
"I don't get it" Robert said in agitation.
"Hey Michael" Roscoe said sweetly, stepping towards Jake.
"Ros-"
"Not you" Roscoe said, frowning at Michael.
"Me" Jake said smiling, " Hey…." Kissed him on the lips soundly before slinking forwards and sighing out tiredly," He- it hurts"
"Oh, I know it does" Roscoe said sadly.
"Wait, so you know about Jake's…problem?" Alex asked, putting his hands on his hips in shock.
"Well yeah, you think I'd be attracted to the shambles that Jake's in now? I liked Michael, the rougher, more daring side of him…I always knew, he asked me to withhold his medicine so he could have better control" Roscoe shrugged out.
"And you obliged?" Michael snapped.
"Well, yeah" Roscoe smirked.
"Oh and sorry about the whole rape thing" Jake said with a small smile as Alex's face went pale." Although, I was pretty sure Jake kind of wanted it too"
Michael looked at him," What….?"
Jamie closed his eyes," You didn't…."
"Oh, I did. Felt damn good too" Jake said with a cooked smile." And you know, I'd do it again. Granted that Alex would loosen up a bit and stop being such a tight ass"
"Jake…" Alex's voice faltered as he sat down on the bed and closed his eyes, Robert followed him, sitting down and letting him lean his head on his shoulder.
"Don't talk Lexy" Jake suddenly said quietly," It's easier for him to think that way…."
"Jake?" Voices were hopeful but it was to no avail.
"No, actually, it's still me. However…." His eyes skimmed over Michael's body quickly, flicking his tongue over his lips while narrowing his eyes," It's you who I want"
"You want me" Michael's eyes dazzled," You're mad"
"No, that's Jake" Jake sneered and with that, rushed forwards bringing his arms out and yanking Michael by his hair in a quick jerked motion towards the bathroom door, backs first before kicking it shut with a deep laugh.
"The fuck…" Roscoe trailed off as Alex, Robert and Jamie all looked at him , one intention on their minds.
"How the fuck could you go and do something so stupid to Jake!" Alex screamed out, throwing a fist blindly and punching him in his upper jaw, " Hurt him after everything, fuck, I'-- I'll kill you--" He stopped, breath short.
"Alex, stop. Before you have an asmatha attack" Robert said gently placing his hands to his head. " Jamie…" He trailed off, looking at the man," So what are you…?"
"It's always the bathrooms" Michael struggled as Jake suddenly let go of him and closed his eyes tiredly," I shouldn't be doing this" He mumbled out. " No" Michael sighed," You shouldn't be-"
"Quiet" Jake snapped, placing his elbow at the tip of Michael's neck, applying a slight amount of pressure there," Don't talk…."
"I just want to know what took you so long to snap" Michael smiled out," You know, I thought you'd break sooner or later"
"Just stop talking!" Jake cried out, but he didn't hit Michael, didn't touch him, matter of fact, he broke away. " I'm sorry Michael" He whispered finally, closing his eyes, weak demeanor finally showing. Tears broke through small slits and trailed down his face as he walked backwards into the toilet and sat down on it. "I'm sorry for hurting you, for doing everything to you, I'm sorry for telling you that you're better off dead, I'm better off dead, I was just always so jealous of you. I wished I could look handsome like you. I wished I had a smile like you, I wish that I could be like you. I wished that I could be with you…" Another tear hit's the floor and he shuddered for a minute before he continued," I wish I couldn't love you any more because all I do is cause confusion and pain. I mean….look at you" He gasped," You're breathtaking, and you've over come everything from your past, you're popular. Have wonderful fucking talent and someone who really cares and loves for you. Oh and …and- " He sniffs," Your eyes are still to die for. I wish I could explain it….it's just, they're so….fuck- fucking something, brilliant, they were never this- you were never this alive around me. I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn't control it….there was always this- this voice in the back of my head just going 'You have to hurt him. If you hurt him he'll never leave you because he'll be too afraid to move on'. But I was too blind to realize I never wanted to know what you want. I'm sorry I never said 'I love you ' to you much. I'm sorry I can't behave myself around you. I wish I could breathe properly at night, it's so….tangled up in my mind, all the stress, and the pain and I don't want to die like this ….I don't!" He paused, eerily quiet as he wrapped his fingers around the collar of his shirt and adjusted it," But it's not supposed to be this way. It's never supposed to be this way. I should just end it now, I know you don't love me anymore, how could you….how could anyone….-" It was a chocked out sob that escaped their lips as Michael placed a hand to their face and they stopped in mid sentence, breath altered and tears streaming down their face. They didn't really need words after 17 years, did they? So instead Michael just leaned forwards and pressed his lips against Jake's and whispered out," I do love you. No matter what, remember Jake?" He smiled gently, now crying himself as he ran his fingers over his arms," We're extraordinary…."
Jake's eyes burned as he cried even harder," No….you are" He mumbles the last part into Michael's sweater," I'm nothing….."