I hope you like the title.
You may not like the next chapter.
I'm letting this story go with a bang, in my usual style of course.
And, it's a year interval, so a lot has changed.
Rain: Oh hun, your nice long review made me breathe easy. I'm glad you love me enough to take the time to re-write it. No, Tim isn't the guy Dylan cheated on Marco with, it was some other name. Dylan's an ass. Period. Lol. I put a flashback in here of both of them just for you. Jamie is okay, I like him, but he's kind of growing old on me already. I'm glad your friend was confused, it's just like "Gosh, you'd have to read it from the beginning." I was trying to explain it to my friends but it ended up like "You see Marco has this son, but he's gay, and his son has a boyfriend who used to be a rent boy prostitute and he has HIV, no Marco isn't married, but he's dating Dylan, but he loves Ryan his best non gay friend, but Pete, his gay friend, likes him, and they have sex in the shower, and Michael is all lonely and suicidal and loves Adrian, no, that's his whore buddy, no I didn't mean to call him a whore, but anyway Ryan's life is kinda sorta like Annie, and he has uber little sisters and brothers and he's kinda in love with Marco and --" and by that time I'm just out of breathe and wheezing basically. Michael raping Alex is the secret? Oh no luv….no no no. The best part of the whole chapter was this: They didn't really need words after 17 years, did they? So instead Michael just leaned forwards and pressed his lips against Jake's and whispered out," I do love you. No matter what, remember Jake?" He smiled gently, now crying himself as he ran his fingers over his arms," We're extraordinary…." One of my favorite sentences as well. I hope you like this one, well, I know you will. Loveee..
Bee: Michael/ Jake's crazyness adds to the plot, of course. My neighbor is schizophrenic. Oh really? That's really interesting actually. Is it really really horrible when eh skips his meds? Who was Jake talking to? I'll explain that below. Hope you like this chapter.
Azury: Baby. Darling. Honey. Sunshine. Love. It just makes me so happy when you leave reviews like that. So bloody happy. I'm not sad, as more along the lines of saying I'm just "a little less happy than most people". I'm not very creative today. I actually feel strained to write these chapters, because I love this story so much, this story gives me headaches. Bad, painful headaches. But it's what drives me to write more, you know? I have to, I'm compelled to. But I love it. Love the drive. I'm kind of rambling but I hope you understand what I mean. I know you of all people would. Roscoe is a lot lie Remy, and I just realized how many R names I really have. But in a way, you can't help but understand where he's coming from, with being attracted to Jake's pain. I mean, aren't all the characters in here attracted to Jake in some way due to his personality? As always you hit the nail right on the head with the whole sex thing. But I'll explain that below in a second as well. This was really powerful to me...when he told him that he wished that he couldn't love him anymore because all he did was to cause confusion and pain...OMG! tear, tear...Michael to him is so breathtaking, and that he's overcame everything...even him...he thinks...He still drowns in Michael's eyes...God, chills up and down arms How they are so brilliant that they shine...Jake believes that this was due to the fact that he left Jake and all that crap behind. He didn't really want to hurt Michael but he couldn't control it...sorry, tear, tear...He's just now realizing that he didn't give Michael a chance to tell him what he wanted out of life...he only thought about hurting him to keep him with him...can we say fatal attraction...sorry, tear, tear. His cry for help came when he said that he should just end it because Michael didn't love him anymore...then Michael gave him a kiss...nothing breathtaking or passionate...but a kiss of love and promise...then Michael told him that he does love him, no matter what...tear, tear. By this time, they both have tears streaming down their face (just like me). Their eye contact speaks volumnes, after all those years of knowing each other, they don't need words. By this time, with snot slinging everywhere...then Michael says these words," We're extraordinary…." choking, crying loudly sniffle, sniffle. Sometimes I feel you basically summarize my story better than I write it. I hope you like this one, it's really a heart stopper as well.
KirjavaTwilight : I really like your name. Nice to see a new reviewer. I'm a good writer? I try, you know, truly do. I wish I knew people like my characters as well. and then they get some lame crap like fruit baskets, or a 5 dollar gift certificate to Bath & Body Works. That part made me laugh! Enjoy this chapter!
Everyone is wondering what's up with the whole comment that Jake made to Michael before in the last chapter. Isn't it obvious, but I'll explain anyways, because I love you all so much. Jake closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, a deep headache coming on. His eyes fluttered for a second before he moaned out," You didn't even use a condom, you whore" He spits out the words as he suddenly reaches forwards and wrapped his hand around his throat," I should make you pay for all the pain that you cause him"
If you remember Jake and Michael had sex in a drunken induced stupor. Michael has HIV. Meaning Jake's at risk now. But Jake, or Michael, or whatever the fuck personality he was at the time, didn't seem to care. Let's begin the chapter, shall we?
Chapter 20: My Wedding Ring Means Everything To My Lover
"I'll give you a few more minutes before I come in there" Jake's voice is stern as he paces around in the room behind the booth, nervously chewing on his nails, a bad habit he picked up from Alex. There was a lot of shuffling inside the room before his cell phone rang, the nice little tune of "This Boy" by Franz Ferdinand playing. He went back to his earlier roots of being a computer hacker and had a nice variety of tunes to choose from, but he always stuck with the ones he felt like listening to again," I want a c- I want a boyfriend, a boyfriend! Yeah" The end message goes and he has to laugh, " Damnit Andy" He had a feeling he had been fiddling with his voice messages again. "Hello?" He asked into the phone, raising his eyebrows at the voice at the other end. "Guess where I'm at" They purred out.
"Where?" Jake asked, looking around, "Where?"
They giggled into the phone," Me neither, can you come and find me, I think I got lost somewhere around the sugar factory"
"But I'm covering for someone…." Jake trailed off, looking at the door.
"So….please Jakey?" The voice asked and Jake's heart melted," Fine." He snapped the phone shut and barged into the dressing room door to find Alex and Robert making out and rolled his eyes, " I can't cover for you anymore you guys, sorry. I have to go find Michael, he got lost in the Sugar Factory"
Alex pouted," But whose gonna pretend to be the blind person that walks in on us making out, step on our foots and pretend to be injured so we can get free clothes for a month?"
"Sorry" Jake said before laughing and walking off.
Robert shrugged, "You'll pretend that I pretended to molest you. Okay?" He dove back in forwards to capture his lips and Alex just nodded," Wait, let me get my asmatha pump, that way I can say I had an attack and get more money"
"Yeah" Robert nodded.
Meanwhile Jake walked down the steps past the food court before entering the Sugar Factory and migrating towards the chocolate waterfall section to find Michael stuck in the candy maze, as usual, even though he could see 5 year olds running in and out of it quickly, Michael was just plain freaked the fuck out. " Hey" Jake whispered, finally grabbing his arm," You okay?"
"Yeah, um" Michael murmured out before slinging his arms around him," I'm better now, fucking candy place, can we go?"
"Yeah, sure" Jake smiled, wrapping his hand around Michael's and pulling him out before standing in front of the store and running his hands through his hair. "What's the matter?" Michael asked, head cocked to the side. He looked at him, dark blue/ black midnight hair dyed and set, soft features and warm smile. His jeans were freshly ironed and his shirt was smooth against his skin, tie fitted around his neck and slackened at the side. Jake just closed his eyes and sighed," You're so beautiful Michael"
"Stop" Michael smiled and leaned in, placing a hand on top of his head," You're quite stunning yourself"
"No I mean it, Mikey, breath taking…-" He breathed out," M'want to kiss your lips" He leaned in and was about to kiss him as Michael's cell phone rang, this time playing the tune of "Juice Box" from the strokes. "Yes Marco?" He asked, frowning when his smile dropped," What happened to Tilly?"
Jake stopped smiling.
"Really?" Michael raised his eyebrows, getting excited before glancing at Jake and smiling," Yeah, yeah…. Of course, we'll come home now" He closed the phone and looked at Jake happily," Tilly just won the spelling bee, Adrian would've been so proud. Isn't that wonderful?"
Jake smiled brightly, although halfheartedly and hugged him," That's wonderful Michael"
"We have to come home so we can celebrate" Michael continued, shoving his cell phone into his pocket and looking at Jake, whose smile has faded. " What's the matter?"
"It's so odd, I mean…Mikey, I still feel so off…like, being with you, dating you…." Jake looked around nervously before blushing," It's been a year since the whole scenario with the drama and the play and all that other shit, but I just-"
"It takes time, Jakey" Michael says this calmly and Jake knows he means it, " Those pills only start to kick in, and well. Jake" He stopped," We've loved each other forever, so what makes it so hard now?"
"This is the closest we've ever been. We never dated before, I mean like really dated. I didn't always kiss you whenever I wanted to, like I did now, or hug you without hating you like I do now or -"
"Stop" Michael said and kissed him on the lips gently," It's okay to be afraid, but I'm here, okay?"
"B-"
"And I'm not going anywhere"
"S-"
"And I love you."
"Love you too" Jake murmurs and Michael takes his hand to go and get Robert and Alex, who are walking out the store arm in arm with a gift card. Jake snorted," I can't believe that worked"
"Money" Was all Alex said and smiled as Robert nuzzled his neck," My man knows all there is about money"
"I learned it from Ryan" Robert shrugged. But they just all started laughing at him. Nobody noticed the little lines that ran down Jake's arms, and he made sure of it as he gently pulled his long sleeved sweater down even farther.
"Ryan, get off of me" Marco yells and shoves him off and onto the floor before crossing to the other side of the table and rubbing his back," You're not a teenager anymore, I'm getting old"
"Marco, you're 23 damnit, you're not old. Now come over here and give me some lovin" Ryan said before pouncing on Marco. Once Ryan came back from Paris they had decided to take a break and try out the wild life, meanwhile Marco ended up getting depressed and gorging on food, so of course Ryan was then miserable and well, they were back together now and that's all the mattered.
Too bad no one acknowledged the fact that Marco had an eating problem.
Of course Michael, because Michael knew everything. But he couldn't say anything due to a little conversation that they had a while back while Jake was in the hospital.
"Marco…what are you doing?" Michael asks this calmly as he leans against the edge of the bathroom door, eyes aren't even remotely wide, in fact he looks rather smug. You see, Marco had escalated from merely eating over excessively to just plain throwing the food back up. And that's exactly what he was doing as Michael wandered into the bathroom.
"Um…I" Marco stopped leaning over the toilet and covered his eyes with his hands," I have no clue…"
Michael's eyes softened," Marco…." He whispers, and they start to think that that's the most affection Michael has ever shown to his before as he leans d0own and gathers him into his arms. " Don't tell anyone, please?" Marco was exposed and Michael almost liked it.
"Of course" Michael shook his head, even though he know he shouldn't.
However, that was then, and this is now.
Tilly sat on the couch, looking around fondly," So this is your new apartment?"
"Yes" Marco said, prying Ryan from his lips," It's a little shabby, but it'll do" Green curtains draped themselves over two small windows that were on the side of the apartment, which was painted a basic purple. Green shades and plants as well were scattered through out the apartment, while the couch was purple as well as a few vases. A blue glass table sat in the middle on top of a green rug. Very Ikea like. Tilly loved it.
"I smell food" Brian said, wandering out of the guess room and starching.
"You always smell food" Andy scratched his head and latched onto Marco," You smell nice, what is that?"
"Ryan" Marco answered dryly," I smell Like Ryan"
"Mmm… I can tell" Brian said, latching onto Ryan.
Ryan laughed," Okay, what do you two want?"
"Can't we just come in here and give our favorite two lovers a hug and some luvin?" Andy batted his eye lashes at Marco innocently, but it didn't work. "No" Marco answered, smiling coyly at Andy. His hair was dyed a light brown with red streaks and he wore a shirt that says "Ich Heisse Gott Fick" on it in scrawled out pink and blue letters. His jeans were baggy for once, but he looked adorable all the same. " Do you even know what that means?" Marco asked, pointing to his shirt.
"No" Andy laughed," But I know it's German, and German is now officially in"
"Say who?" Ryan asked, prying Brian off of him now.
"Since I said so" Andy smiled," Alex is out, Nick is in"
Marco snorted," Your shirt says I Am God Fuck"
"Shouldn't it be 'I Am A Good Fuck'?" Brian mused, laughing as Andy kicked him.
"I'm getting tired of Franz anyway" Ryan walked away from them and went around to the fridge," Panic! At the Disco is in now with me"
"But I don't smell any band slash" Marco pouted," Franz oozes slash"
"You think everyone oozes slash" Brian countered.
"Well, don't they?" Andy asked.
"Not really, a very large fan base will often twist their visions around to see what they want to see. For example, everyone swears that Alex and Nick are OTP, but in reality we all know that it's really Paul and Nick as OTF and OTL due to the fact that they are around each other a lot. Libertines slash is another good example, however, it often ends up in a cocaine induced drama. People can't slash System Of A Down for whatever reason, nor The Strokes, even though their new video Juice Box contains blatant homoerotica" Tilly said from her said, flipping to Bob the Builder.
They all stared at her before exclaiming "She learned that from you, you know"
Finally the door opened at Michael came inside with Jake wrapped around his arms. " Is he okay?" Marco asked, worried for his son.
"Yeah dad" Jake mumbled," I'm just a little tired"
"He fainted in the street" Michael murmured, brushing the hair out of Jake's face, " Are you sure….Jakey…." He trailed off and kissed his head," Are you okay, really?"
"I just need to lay down…that's all" He yawned and moved towards the couch before falling onto it and closing his eyes. Michael gave Marco a worried look before scooping up Tilly in his arms. " How's my little winner, I'm so proud of you!" He giggled out, kissing her silly.
"Thanks Mikey" She said, hugging his neck," Is Jake okay though…he looks sick…"
They all glanced at Jake, who was now curled up, digging his finger nails into the couch.
Alex stumbled into the door, Robert laughing ," Oh god, that was fun, I love doing that let's do it in the elevator next time"
Alex giggled and then stopped," That wasn't the elevator the first time?"
"He's rubbing off on me" Robert said, pointing to Ryan. "That was the stairwell"
"I am not" Ryan protested, grabbing Marco's waist," Marco, tell him I'm not. I'm a good boy"
"Good boys don't get spanked every night" Andy murmured and Brian laughed out," Then you're hardly good, now are you?"
"Does Randy even know of you and Andy?" Marco asked.
"Did Ryan know of you and Dylan?" Brian snapped back and Marco looked away.
"What?" Ryan asked. Confused.
"Oh god" Tilly closed her eyes.
"What's wrong honey?" Michael asked, laying down next to Jake on the couch and Letting her lay on his stomach like a baby. "Gay drama" She murmured. And boy, was she right.
"Don't tell me you had a fling with Dylan while I was in Paris!" Ryan said, throwing his hands up in the air.
"It wasn't a fling, it was a- a- I don't know what the fuck it was." Marco said, getting agitated. " Shut the fuck up Brian, you shouldn't have said anything "
"How am I supposed to lie to my best friend?" Brian yelled so Andy frowned," Don't yell at Marco like that"
"What, defending your little crush?" Brian snapped.
Andy's eyes went wide," Hey-- fuck you!"
"What, so you had an affair with Andy too, while I was gone? Why don't you just fuck Michael too as well!"
"Don't bring me into this!" Michael yelled from the couch.
"I didn't sleep with Andy!" Marco protested. " You like me?"
"You make it seem like I'm a whore" Andy screeched and Brian laughed sadly," Aren't you? You're an inch from giving blow jobs on the street!"
"Hello?" Michael said, jumping up," Was that supposed to be a dig at me!"
"No, I mean-" Brian stuttered, " No offence Michael-"
"I do kind of like you…" Andy trailed off and Marco blinked, "what-"
"Andy you're always trying to steal my boyfriends, first Pete and then M-" Ryan frowned.
"YOU LEFT PETE TO BE WITH MARCO. TRU FACT!" Andy yelled so Ryan went quiet for a second. "No one in your family seems to know what they want"
"So what's that supposed to mean?" Robert snapped back at Andy from across the room.
"It's true, you say you love Alex, but you're still in love with Michael, and visa versa" Andy said and Alex went pale. " What?"
"What?" Robert looked flushed.
"I did what I had to do to survive!" Michael began to tear up and Brian tried to console him,. " I'm sorry-"
"So now you made Michael cry, great" Marco said, hugging Michael gently, " It's okay…"
"I do not love him anymore" Alex protested.
"Bullshit" Brian called out, making Alex grit his teeth," At least I'm not sneaking around like a whore with Andy"
"So are you calling me a whore now?" Andy yelled at Alex.
Jake groaned a little on the couch and whispered something.
"I DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE." Robert yelled and Michael snorted," You don't?"
"No…" Robert murmured, but it was whisper now.
"Besides, we all know that you liked Jake before you loved Michael. You just simply took him off the rebound!" Ryan said, accusing his own little brother.
"HEY FUCK YOU"
"SUCK COCK"
"MOTHERFUCKER"
"ASSHOLE!"
"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Jake screamed and the room went silent. His breathing was irregular, his eyes were red. " We all love each other, okay? There's no need for this stupid fucking gay drama, now everyone make up, hug and kiss right fucking now!" Scared by Jake's words everybody did as they were told. "Now please go and congradulate Tilly, I'm going to bed" And with that he got up and went to go lay down, even more tired than before.
The room went back to usual chatter, as if the argument had never happened and Michael followed Jake into the back room.
"If I told you a secret, do you promise never to tell anyone else? Huh Remy, what so ever?" Jake looked down at Remy in disdain as he stood there, wavering in the doorway and shaking violently. But that's what happen when you go through withdrawal. Jake remains silent so Remy places two cold fingers to his head in a gun position and making a cocking sound with his tongue," You ever think it? Huh, Jake, I bet you do, I be you do every fucking day, don't you, you're miserable. I was attracted to that you know, really was--" Remy stops because he has to cough and Jake finds it painfully attractive that he's this messed up. " I look up to you, Jake"
"Oh really, why?" Jake asks and you can tell he's about to do something he'll later forget.
"Because you're the best fucking train wreck I have ever saw" Remy smiles before shrugging his shoulders and wiping his red eyes, " Cigarette kisses, that's all I remember from you."
Jake can't wait to laugh in Remy's face, to say fuck you and slap him for all the pain that he was put through during school, but instead he simply leans forwards and hugs him." I'm glad you enjoyed my crash, it'll be the last one"
"No" Remy murmurs into Jake's hair, " It's not the last one, I'd say you have a good two more left"
And he was right.
Jake did.
"I saw Remy yesterday" Jake's voice is muffled in the white sheets of Ryan and Marco's bedroom as he curls his toes in his socks and inhales his faux father's scent.
"Really?" Michael asks, and you can tell he's anything but happy.
"It's okay though, we just talked. He looked miserable" Jake holds out his hand and Michael takes it, being pulled forwards onto the bed and snuggling into his boyfriend's warmth. " You know Michael, I want to run away one last time, just try and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me"
"I know what the fuck is wrong with you" Michael cracks a witty smile, kissing Jake softly and Jake sighs, because Michael is just too damn much for words, " I'm your problem"
"You're my everything Michael" Jake corrects and wipes his eyes tiredly." You're the most important thing in my life, I think I'd die without you"
"Don't say that" Michael whispers and hugs him," Because we both know I'm to die first"
Silence.
Because it's true, isn't it?
Michael wasn't exactly well, he never lost HIV you know, it was just….just in remission. Lots of pills, lots of sleep, lots of everything. But now…it was coming back. And biting Michael in the ass. Hard. So Jake just clung to him a little more and kissed his neck, burring his head in there, "We'll die together"
And that's when Tilly comes in and smiles out brightly," You're getting married?"
Jake blushes and Michael looks shocked," Where'd you hear that from?"
"Look outside the window" Tilly shrugs and walks out the room, but you can tell she's excited as well as everyone else as Marco screams and Ryan faints in the hall way outside the door. Jake ambles over to the window and Michael shyly peeks his peeked eyes out, a sky liner in the air writing out "Michael, can we make it permeant? Marry me" In the sky.
And like that.
Michael and Jake were engaged.
"You're too young!" Marco giggled and Ryan coughed as they all sat at the dinner table.
"But dad, we love each other" Jake complained like a kid again and Marco shot him a stern look," Quiet you,. Michael, you want to marry my son?"
"Dad…" Jake trailed off as Marco frowned at him
Was he actually being serious?
"Well, yes…Ma- I mean Mr. Del Rossi" Michael stammers out, blushing under his wine glass," I love your son very much. I think he's wonderful, amazing with even-"
Andy giggles out and Brian kicks him under the table as Marco decides to think about it," Can you give my son everything he needs?"
"Yes sir" Michael nods and Alex and Robert share a look of confusion. Pete shuffles around in his chair a bit and everyone wonders when the fuck he got there again. He looks tired, nonetheless and smiles at Ryan before biting into his chicken," Let the kids get Married Marco, we're waiting for you and Rye to tie the knot as well"
There were a few hoots across the table as Ryan snorted with laughter and Marco poked him in his rib," Us? Get married? That's funny….but ehm….uh, Michael, I give you permission to marry my son-"
"THANK YOU SO MUCH DAD!" Jake suddenly screams and jumps up, wrapping his dad ina too tight hug, smothering him," I love you….love you so much" And then he runs to Michael and proceeds to tackle him to the floor and shower him with kisses as much as he fucking wants because that's his fiance.
And nothing cold separate them now.
Not medication
Not death.
Nothing.
"We're getting married" Jake says proudly to Alex as they walk down the street after school, tired beyond belief but overly happy. He told his classmates and teachers of the news and everyone was expected to come, everyone was going to come. " I'm getting married, can you believe it?"
"Honestly, no" Alex shakes his shaggy hair and becomes quiet before saying," Don't hurt him this time, okay?" And Jake's afraid to answer him because now his mind is going 'What if?'. What if he does fuck up and this is the end? What if this is the last chance?
So Jake remains quiet and wishes Alex won't talk anymore.
When Michael goes to Adrian's grave for the final time it's quiet as he sits in the grass and traces his fingers across the dirty letters of his name.
Adrian Asher.
Adrian Asher. It's a breath now, and Michael's worried he's going to cry. Wants to cry, but doesn't, because he's cried enough with Adrian for one lifetime. Remembers Adrian's best words of advice to him:
"So two hookers walk into a club right-"
No, the other advice.
"Don't worry about what happens when you fall in love, Michael. You will fuck up, but that's the best part. The person will love you so much it's okay to fuck up. You won't have to worry about being the epitome of perfection anymore. You'll be so happy you can't stand it. You'll wheeze , Mikey. I hope I see you that happy one day, but if not, I want to remember this, you are, and will always will be, one of the best things to ever happen to me. Okay? Remember it."
And oh, he did.
And that's when the tears came.
"I'm getting married!" He announced to the win quietly, " And you're invited"
But he knew Adrian couldn't come.
And where was Trent?
Down in the river somewhere deep. And gone.
And his heart ached, because he longed to be with them once more and share one more street corner together. "I'm getting married" He breathed again and a tear drop hit the grave," I'm getting married and I don't know what the fuck to do"
And then he sits and wonders some more.
"My son is getting married" Marco moans out as he sticks his finger down his throat again and heaves the little food he did have for dinner back up again. Sniffs twice and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before sitting up and seeing Ryan in the door way, shocked and wide eyed.
Ryan doesn't move, just wines a little in his throat before he turns away, disgusted with his boyfriend and disappointed and Marco loves it, because maybe then he could fucking let go of Ryan and let Ryan be with Pete, like he knows he wants to be.
So Marco wants to remember the week before all hell breaks loose by going out and drinking.
Bad mistake.
"The day you get married, will be the best fucking day ever, you know that?" Rory exclaims and Michael and Jake giggled with laughter, raising eyebrows and holding hands while walking down the street. "The day you get married I'll hug you both so tight and overwhelm you with love, because it's all down hill from here. However, if you love someone so much, so powerfully that you'll die for them, take the shit that they doll out and then some, it'll be the best day of your life. It'll be the first day of your life, it'll feel as if you're opening your eyes for the first time. It's a rush. It's amazing. A fucking mazing"
Jake is quiet, glancing at Michael before asking slowly," Who will we marry, Rory?"
"You're 6 years old, don't worry about it" Rory smiles. But he knows who they're going to marry. So he pushes them a little closer together and inhales the cold September air," Let's go get something to eat and climb a tree, maybe you guys wont leave me stuck up there like last time"
And then, like Remy predicted, the first of two crashes occurred.