Revenge of the Pizza Man
A/N: RK doesn't belong to me. ^____^ Not much else to say! On with the story!! Oh, and thanks to saitofan108 for giving me part of this idea!!
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Okita was happily sitting in front of the TV watching some random show called: Bananas Don't Eat Pancakes. Just then, the doorbell rang.
"Who is it?" Okita yelled through the door.
"Pizza!!" a voice called back. Okita opened the door, wondering who would name their child 'Pizza.' He didn't know anyone named 'Pizza.' Okita pulled the door open and there stood the SAME pizza delivery man who had 'stalked' Saito stood at his door, holding the SAME size cheese pizza, sporting the SAME yellow and green hat, wearing the SAME green polo shirt with the SAME logo on the shirt pocket, wearing the SAME striped green and yellow pants, and the SAME dorky smile plastered on his face. Okita gasped.
"What are YOU doing here?" Okita asked, putting his hands on his hips. "You're supposed to be stalking Saito-san! This story is a 'let's torture Saito-san for fun' fic!!" The pizza man looked strangely at Okita.
"It is? I was just wondering if you'd like some pizza. You WERE the one that shot the pizza in our pop-up, right?" the delivery man asked, doing a funky jig. Okita gave the man a look, then said:
"Nope. I never shot a pizza in my life." The man looked sadly at Okita.
"Then WHO did?" the man asked. Okita thought a moment.
"Who else? Saito-san did! I don't want pizza, but it's Saito-san's favorite food! Go give it to him!" and with that, Okita slammed the door. The delivery man stood in front of the door for a little while, then turned and went back to his car. He drove happily down the road to Saito's house and knocked on the door. After a moment or two, Saito opened the door.
"ARGH!! NOW WHAT?!" Saito yelled at the delivery man. The delivery man gave a really 'jolly' smile and did a little jig. Saito sighed.
"The other boy said that pizza is your FAVORITE food!!" the delivery man grinned. Saito gave a low growl.
"No, it's not," Saito said, grabbing the pizza box from the man. "Soba is." And with that, he took the pizza and threw it at the man. The man ducked, and the pizza went flying into the street. Then, Saito slammed the door. The delivery man stared at the door, then turned back to the fallen pizza.
"Poor Pizza-sama," the delivery man sobbed making sad puppy eyes. "Don't worry! We'll get that bad man for splatting you!" He scooped up the pizza and put it in the car, strapping it in with a seatbelt. Then, he drove off.
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Saito walked to the cafeteria with Okita.
"What's for lunch today?" Saito asked, tossing his books into his locker, then following Okita through the hallway. Okita stopped at his locker as well.
"I think it's your favorite. Oh, did you tell the pizza guy to come to my house?" Okita started walking again. Saito glared.
"Yes," he said. "I did." Okita looked away.
"Oh," was all he said. They arrived at the cafeteria to it in chaos.
"BUT I'M SOOOOOO HUNGRY!!!!" a rooser-headed boy yelled.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO FOOD?!" another dark-haired girl asked. She was standing with Himura.
"What's going on?" Okita asked a passing girl. It just happened to be Megumi.
"There's no soba! It just disappeared! The chefs said they made it, but now it's all gone!" Megumi cried. "What will we do without food!?" She ran off toward Himura. Okita looked over at Saito.
"Well, this stinks," he said. "I was hungry too." Saito sighed and started to leave.
"There's nothing we can do now," Saito said. Just then, there was a loud crash. Everyone turned to see a man standing on a table in the middle of the room. It was the SAME pizza delivery man, sporting the SAME yellow and green hat, wearing the SAME green polo shirt with the SAME logo on the shirt pocket, wearing the SAME striped green and yellow pants, and the SAME dorky smile plastered on his face. The pizza, though, was now very big and was standing on a flat portion of crust.
"HA HA HA HA!!" the delivery man cackled happily. "Now there is no soba in the entire world!! You can all eat PIZZA!!! This is the PIZZA MAN'S REVENGE!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!!" Saito stared at the crazed pizza man. Okita looked over at his friend.
"Saito-san? What's going on?" Okita asked. Saito groaned.
"The pizza man is getting revenge!!" Saito said. Okita sweatdropped.
"Well DUH!" Okita said sarcastically. "But for WHAT?" Saito looked at Okita.
"There's only one way to stop this," he said. Okita looked at him.
"What?"
"I have to eat the pizza," Saito replied. Okita gasped in horror.
"NO! Isn't there another way? You can't! It'll be the end of you!" he quickly pulled on a long wig. "O woe is... uh... you!!!!!!!" Saito ripped the wig off of Okita's head.
"Stop that. It'll give Himura ideas about you... and me," Saito said, tossing the wig on the floor. Okita grinned.
"But what do we do? We can't eat pizza forever!" Okita said. He looked up. All of the kids were going to eat the pizza. Saito nodded.
"I hate to admit it, but you're right. I don't know what we can do," he said. Okita looked up at the kids gobbling pizza.
"You know, they look really gross eating that," Okita said. "Look! Himura just stuffed an entire slice into his mouth!! Ewww!!" Saito looked closely at the mass of pizza-eating students.
"Yeah... that is pretty gross," Saito agreed. Just then, the delivery man raised his hands.
"Now, my pizza-devouring zombies!! Go out into the world and make people EAT PIZZA!!!" the delivery man yelled. The kids all stood and started marching out the door chanting:
"Pizza, pizza, it's really really great! We'll make you eat it at an alarming rate! Eating pizza is the best! Come on by and put your stomach to the test!!"
"Saito-san, this is a problem," said Okita. "The whole world will be taken over by zombies!" The delivery man hopped down from the table and pulled out a large jar of yellow powder.
"Insta-Zombie! Just put it in the food!" the pizza man laughed. "Pizza will take over the world!!!" Saito stared at the man.
"Hey! You put that in your pizza?" Saito asked. The man shook his head.
"Nope, only in the last one," he said. "Wait! You're not controlled!! AHHHH!" Saito sighed.
"Turn them back," he commanded. The pizza man stared .
"No," he said, smiling. "Not unless you apologize to Pizza-sama!!" Saito gulped.
"No!" Okita gasped. "You can't!!! Actually, you can, but..." Saito turned back to the pizza man.
"Where's Pizza-sama?" Saito asked. The delivery man took him and Okita to the back of the kitchen where a large pizza box sat.
"Right here," the man said. "Now apologize!"
"You'll turn everyone back and you'll leave me alone?" Saito asked. The man thought for a moment, then nodded. Saito looked at the pizza.
"Go on," the man nudged Saito. Saito sighed.
"I'm sorry," he said to the pizza, feeling like a complete idiot. The delivery man growled.
"Say it to PIZZA-SAMA!!" the man yelled insanely. Okita backed away in fear. Saito gulped.
"I-I'm sorry... uh... Pizza...-sama," Saito said. Then, the pizza man smiled and picked up the pizza, cradling it in his arm.
"Good," he said. "Thank you. Everyone should return to normal." Then, he left. Saito watched him cautiously, then walked out as well, shaking his head.
"At least I don't have to deal with pizza anymore..." he said. "Or delivery men." How wrong he was...
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A/N: Okay, I was feeling random the when I wrote this, so it came out weird. Next one should be more down to Earth. I will update ASAP, but...
And if anyone's still reading this... thanks.
REVIEW RESPONSES:
psychotic-catster: Thanks!! Heh... the one way to bring down the wolf of Mibu... PIZZA!! (And pop-ups, and annoying delivery men...)
WriterNotViking: Don't think this was better, but... hey, that's what midterms do to you!!
Oro-chan no tenshi: Thanks. I don't know if Okita went berserk... I don't think he did...
YukiAngel28: Thanks! I'm glad you thought it was funny!
MissBehavin: So... this chapter was weird. Okay... But thanks for reading anyway!!
Saitofan108: I liked your idea and halfway used it! It came out a little weird, but... Yeah, I get it... you'd repeat... cause you're a Saitofan!! And it would be funny if he threw it in his face, but I didn't think that the pizza man would do that. Thanks for reading!!
Misaoshiru: Stupid! Yes! This one was even stupider!! I'm writing more!!
A/N: RK doesn't belong to me. ^____^ Not much else to say! On with the story!! Oh, and thanks to saitofan108 for giving me part of this idea!!
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Okita was happily sitting in front of the TV watching some random show called: Bananas Don't Eat Pancakes. Just then, the doorbell rang.
"Who is it?" Okita yelled through the door.
"Pizza!!" a voice called back. Okita opened the door, wondering who would name their child 'Pizza.' He didn't know anyone named 'Pizza.' Okita pulled the door open and there stood the SAME pizza delivery man who had 'stalked' Saito stood at his door, holding the SAME size cheese pizza, sporting the SAME yellow and green hat, wearing the SAME green polo shirt with the SAME logo on the shirt pocket, wearing the SAME striped green and yellow pants, and the SAME dorky smile plastered on his face. Okita gasped.
"What are YOU doing here?" Okita asked, putting his hands on his hips. "You're supposed to be stalking Saito-san! This story is a 'let's torture Saito-san for fun' fic!!" The pizza man looked strangely at Okita.
"It is? I was just wondering if you'd like some pizza. You WERE the one that shot the pizza in our pop-up, right?" the delivery man asked, doing a funky jig. Okita gave the man a look, then said:
"Nope. I never shot a pizza in my life." The man looked sadly at Okita.
"Then WHO did?" the man asked. Okita thought a moment.
"Who else? Saito-san did! I don't want pizza, but it's Saito-san's favorite food! Go give it to him!" and with that, Okita slammed the door. The delivery man stood in front of the door for a little while, then turned and went back to his car. He drove happily down the road to Saito's house and knocked on the door. After a moment or two, Saito opened the door.
"ARGH!! NOW WHAT?!" Saito yelled at the delivery man. The delivery man gave a really 'jolly' smile and did a little jig. Saito sighed.
"The other boy said that pizza is your FAVORITE food!!" the delivery man grinned. Saito gave a low growl.
"No, it's not," Saito said, grabbing the pizza box from the man. "Soba is." And with that, he took the pizza and threw it at the man. The man ducked, and the pizza went flying into the street. Then, Saito slammed the door. The delivery man stared at the door, then turned back to the fallen pizza.
"Poor Pizza-sama," the delivery man sobbed making sad puppy eyes. "Don't worry! We'll get that bad man for splatting you!" He scooped up the pizza and put it in the car, strapping it in with a seatbelt. Then, he drove off.
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Saito walked to the cafeteria with Okita.
"What's for lunch today?" Saito asked, tossing his books into his locker, then following Okita through the hallway. Okita stopped at his locker as well.
"I think it's your favorite. Oh, did you tell the pizza guy to come to my house?" Okita started walking again. Saito glared.
"Yes," he said. "I did." Okita looked away.
"Oh," was all he said. They arrived at the cafeteria to it in chaos.
"BUT I'M SOOOOOO HUNGRY!!!!" a rooser-headed boy yelled.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO FOOD?!" another dark-haired girl asked. She was standing with Himura.
"What's going on?" Okita asked a passing girl. It just happened to be Megumi.
"There's no soba! It just disappeared! The chefs said they made it, but now it's all gone!" Megumi cried. "What will we do without food!?" She ran off toward Himura. Okita looked over at Saito.
"Well, this stinks," he said. "I was hungry too." Saito sighed and started to leave.
"There's nothing we can do now," Saito said. Just then, there was a loud crash. Everyone turned to see a man standing on a table in the middle of the room. It was the SAME pizza delivery man, sporting the SAME yellow and green hat, wearing the SAME green polo shirt with the SAME logo on the shirt pocket, wearing the SAME striped green and yellow pants, and the SAME dorky smile plastered on his face. The pizza, though, was now very big and was standing on a flat portion of crust.
"HA HA HA HA!!" the delivery man cackled happily. "Now there is no soba in the entire world!! You can all eat PIZZA!!! This is the PIZZA MAN'S REVENGE!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!!" Saito stared at the crazed pizza man. Okita looked over at his friend.
"Saito-san? What's going on?" Okita asked. Saito groaned.
"The pizza man is getting revenge!!" Saito said. Okita sweatdropped.
"Well DUH!" Okita said sarcastically. "But for WHAT?" Saito looked at Okita.
"There's only one way to stop this," he said. Okita looked at him.
"What?"
"I have to eat the pizza," Saito replied. Okita gasped in horror.
"NO! Isn't there another way? You can't! It'll be the end of you!" he quickly pulled on a long wig. "O woe is... uh... you!!!!!!!" Saito ripped the wig off of Okita's head.
"Stop that. It'll give Himura ideas about you... and me," Saito said, tossing the wig on the floor. Okita grinned.
"But what do we do? We can't eat pizza forever!" Okita said. He looked up. All of the kids were going to eat the pizza. Saito nodded.
"I hate to admit it, but you're right. I don't know what we can do," he said. Okita looked up at the kids gobbling pizza.
"You know, they look really gross eating that," Okita said. "Look! Himura just stuffed an entire slice into his mouth!! Ewww!!" Saito looked closely at the mass of pizza-eating students.
"Yeah... that is pretty gross," Saito agreed. Just then, the delivery man raised his hands.
"Now, my pizza-devouring zombies!! Go out into the world and make people EAT PIZZA!!!" the delivery man yelled. The kids all stood and started marching out the door chanting:
"Pizza, pizza, it's really really great! We'll make you eat it at an alarming rate! Eating pizza is the best! Come on by and put your stomach to the test!!"
"Saito-san, this is a problem," said Okita. "The whole world will be taken over by zombies!" The delivery man hopped down from the table and pulled out a large jar of yellow powder.
"Insta-Zombie! Just put it in the food!" the pizza man laughed. "Pizza will take over the world!!!" Saito stared at the man.
"Hey! You put that in your pizza?" Saito asked. The man shook his head.
"Nope, only in the last one," he said. "Wait! You're not controlled!! AHHHH!" Saito sighed.
"Turn them back," he commanded. The pizza man stared .
"No," he said, smiling. "Not unless you apologize to Pizza-sama!!" Saito gulped.
"No!" Okita gasped. "You can't!!! Actually, you can, but..." Saito turned back to the pizza man.
"Where's Pizza-sama?" Saito asked. The delivery man took him and Okita to the back of the kitchen where a large pizza box sat.
"Right here," the man said. "Now apologize!"
"You'll turn everyone back and you'll leave me alone?" Saito asked. The man thought for a moment, then nodded. Saito looked at the pizza.
"Go on," the man nudged Saito. Saito sighed.
"I'm sorry," he said to the pizza, feeling like a complete idiot. The delivery man growled.
"Say it to PIZZA-SAMA!!" the man yelled insanely. Okita backed away in fear. Saito gulped.
"I-I'm sorry... uh... Pizza...-sama," Saito said. Then, the pizza man smiled and picked up the pizza, cradling it in his arm.
"Good," he said. "Thank you. Everyone should return to normal." Then, he left. Saito watched him cautiously, then walked out as well, shaking his head.
"At least I don't have to deal with pizza anymore..." he said. "Or delivery men." How wrong he was...
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A/N: Okay, I was feeling random the when I wrote this, so it came out weird. Next one should be more down to Earth. I will update ASAP, but...
And if anyone's still reading this... thanks.
REVIEW RESPONSES:
psychotic-catster: Thanks!! Heh... the one way to bring down the wolf of Mibu... PIZZA!! (And pop-ups, and annoying delivery men...)
WriterNotViking: Don't think this was better, but... hey, that's what midterms do to you!!
Oro-chan no tenshi: Thanks. I don't know if Okita went berserk... I don't think he did...
YukiAngel28: Thanks! I'm glad you thought it was funny!
MissBehavin: So... this chapter was weird. Okay... But thanks for reading anyway!!
Saitofan108: I liked your idea and halfway used it! It came out a little weird, but... Yeah, I get it... you'd repeat... cause you're a Saitofan!! And it would be funny if he threw it in his face, but I didn't think that the pizza man would do that. Thanks for reading!!
Misaoshiru: Stupid! Yes! This one was even stupider!! I'm writing more!!