Teenage Dirtbag

Part Five- Fragile

Disclaimer: X belongs to CLAMP-sama, AU, OOC~

I open my eyes.

Where am I?

I'm lying in a soft bed, I think.

"Good evening," someone greets me softly. His voice seems to be very calm but it also seems to be in despair. It's as if he's crying quietly. But I'm sure he's not.

Good evening…? Evening already? But… A while ago I was just walking down this street, and it was just afternoon. And… what happened?

"Did you have a good rest? You were asleep for approximately four hours."

Wait. Where am I? Where exactly on Earth am I?

Hearing no response from me, the voice says, "I see… you're still feeling drowsy, right?"

Would somebody please tell me what exactly happened that I don't know where I am?

Right. A cherry blossom tree. Four maniacs. And a… man with a very light golden hair! And that man is…

"You can talk, can't you?" the owner of the voice gently peeks out his head to look at my face. Maybe he's trying to catch my attention since I'm not able to give him a proper response.

"Ah! My apologies… who are…?"

I'm trying to adjust my perception to see his face clearly, to know if what does he look like. And… okay you got my point.

"Are you… feeling okay already?"

I see a very fragile appearance in front of me. His face is very gentle. Golden cat-like eyes. I say he's a man of great beauty. But… his face is very lonely, like he has been tortured emotionally.

"Who are you? Where am I?"

He moves back. I think he was sitting a while ago.

"You're here in my apartment room," he replies with again, a gentle, almost in a dreary voice.

I try to collect my energy. It's not that I'm tired. I just don't feel quite normal. Yes, you can say that I'm still sleepy.

"Why…? I mean…," I can barely finish my sentences.

I slowly sit up. Then try to observe the surroundings.

I breathe in and out. I'm back to normal.

"I suppose I shall greet you again. Good evening," he says.

I slowly tilt my head to look at him. I think he already has changed his outfit from a while ago to this white simple kimono.

"I'm sorry… Good evening, too. Sorry for not responding immediately. I wasn't feeling that well a moment ago," I tell him gently, because he really seems like a very gentle person.

He nods his head, "I understand. Don't worry."

I gulp. Then try to start a proper conversation with him, "Why exactly am I here?"

"It must be too traumatic too recall, right? You… You were almost molested by four men a while ago. But don't worry you are safe now," he says while looking at my eyes kind-heartedly.

I pause for a while. Look at his eyes as well, which I think, are full of dreams.

"And… you rescued me, right…?"

He shakes his head softly. I observe that he does everything gently and softly. His gentle actions make him look paler. It seems as though he's sick. But well, those are just my simple observations.

"No… I don't have the ability to do 'rescue' anyone. Actually, few passers-by dealt with those men. Don't worry. I was able to thank all of them for helping me to help you."

"Thank you…"

I slowly slide my right foot downwards. Trying to touch the floor with it.

"W--- what are you trying to do…?" he asks. And yes, still in a calm voice.

"I'm sorry. I think I should go home now."

He places a very pale hand on top of mine. Which made me stop moving for a while.

"It's already too dark outside. I think it would be dangerous for you to walk all alone. You're still tired and it's quite unsafe to walk outside while you're feeling that way." He looks a bit worried now.

"But I…"

"I don't see any problem if you're going to stay here and spend the night. You can go early morning tomorrow if you're worrying about attending school. Perhaps you can go there together with my roommate. He might as well be able to walk with you there. Clamp campus…"

I blink twice, "How… did you know…?"

He looks at my torso, "The uniform…"

Oh. The uniform. Stupid me.

"Oh yeah… yeah… yes…," is the only response I can give him. The despair in his voice affects me like I also don't want to talk anymore.

"So… I think I shall let you sleep now," he tells me with such a tender look on his face.

"But… I have just woken up…?"

"Sleep and rest are somehow different…"

"Why… I…," Blah, I just can't finish my sentences.

Actually, my senses have just awakened so I think I'd have quite a hard time putting myself to sleep again.

But maybe he has something else to do and he will not be able to continue this conversation with me anymore that's why he's trying to put me to sleep.

"To tell you the truth…."

He's about to say something but I politely interrupt him. I know it's rude but I want to tell and ask him something important right now, "My name is Shirou Kamui. Your name?"

He pauses for a while then blinks, "Oh… I almost forgot. I am Kuzuki Kayou. Kakyou."

"Kakyou…? Thank you, Kakyou-san," I tell him while smiling a bit.

He gently nods at me as a response. I wonder if he is really sick. I think he lacks so much energy that's why he can't do almost anything with liveliness.

"Do you think it would be bothersome for you to have me here?"

"No. Not really."

"But…"

"Will somebody worry about you being away from home?" he asks.

I pause. Now that makes me think. I… have no family that will worry if ever I'll not go home to spend the night in somebody else's house so… I don't see any problem. Good.

"Kamui, if anything goes wrong, tell me immediately, okay?" I remember Subaru told me once.

Is he going to worry? Should I tell him where I am right now? Oh well.

"None in particular, Kakyou-san."

"Then that's good."

Then the telephone rings. Kakyou softly… oh wait! Kakyou's sitting on a wheelchair! I wasn't able to notice it a while ago! But… I saw him standing a while ago before I passed out…? I think I should ask him about this later.

So Kakyou starts moving the wheels of his wheelchair toward where the telephone is then answers it.

"Yes… I'm okay. I just tried walking a while ago outside. Remember it's still a part of my therapy… No, no… I'm really fine. Nothing happened to me. You are just worrying too much… Ah, so you'll be back late? So you're with him again…? I see… All right, I'll go ahead and sleep… Wait… I think it would be better if you'll hang up the phone right now. He might catch you. You know how suspicious he is… he's just too wary... Hn… You know I'm right. Okay… goodbye. See you later, if I'm still awake by the moment you get home. Thank you… Oh… and don't be surprised when you see----" Kakyou suddenly stops. Then he put the telephone down.

"Why?" I ask him.

"What 'why'?" He asks me in return.

"I understand you were not able to finish your conversation with him or her? Is there a problem with the telephone line?"

Kakyou starts moving his wheelchair to where I am and it's taking him quite long because he's so… gentle.

"He wasn't able to finish talking with me. I've already expected that," he says then desolately closes his eyes.

"So it's a 'he'… Why? I think that's so mean. To hang up telephone when someone is still talking with you…" I say, almost pouting.

"He has no choice but to cut our conversation and hang up. Or else…" He's not able to finish what he's saying.

"Ah! I'm sorry. Am I asking you things that are too personal…?"

He shakes his head whispering the word "no."

"Is… he a friend of yours?"

"Not really. I have no relationship with him. He just happens to be my roommate."

"I see…"

I stare at him while he closes his eyes again.

He possesses wonderful beauty. I immediately noticed that at first glance because he really is a pale man. That perfect bangs of his is almost covering his golden eyes. He has a very beautiful hair, I almost want to touch it. Light gold. So precious. But his lips are pale. Those could have been very beautiful, if only he smiles.

This is a face that one might want to see before he or she bites the dust.

…but… it's sad…

"Umm… you're so kind. But… where are you going to sleep? You insist that I sleep here, right? And this is your bed."

"I could always roll out a futon."

I look around. This room is quite spacious. And… lots of hospital apparatus. But… what for?

"No… I shall sleep on the futon," I tell him.

Suddenly, there's an awkward silence. Kakyou doesn't want to talk too much, I think.

He opens his eyes, "Say, do you have anything to do with those men?"

I blink. Then I try to recall what happened.

Ah… Those guys were huge. I have never known any huge guy.

I shake my head, "None. They are probably just plain maniacs."

"You know, I've always wanted to go outside, to see the real beauty of this Earth. But I'm only allowed to go out for ten minutes or less because my doctor said that it would be risky for me to stay outside. There's always a big tendency for me to feel weak then lost my consciousness. That's why whenever I want to have a walk out, I must be accompanied by someone. That's troublesome. But my roommate is really nice enough to accompany me. That's okay because I love being with him. I feel safe whenever I'm with him. I fear he would be mad if ever he finds out that I went out all by myself again. He always warns and scolds me about it. A while ago, I tried to practice walking… you know, I want to get used to it. I want to be able to walk all by myself so that I'll not depend on my roommate all the time. Everything was well. And then I saw you."

Wow, a very long sentence from Kakyou. I wonder if how much effort he needed to exert in order to finish saying everything he has told me.

He must be really ill.

In an apologetic voice, I tell him, "I'm sorry…, Kakyou-san. That was the opportunity for you to experience what you've always wanted…"

"No need… I was actually on my way here already when I saw you..."

"What happened to you? Why are you sick…? If it's correct to say that…" I'm sure that he really is sick. But I want him to confirm it.

His face slowly becomes more melancholic. He lets out a small sigh then looks at my eyes. I also look at his eyes. I could almost lose myself in them. Very enticing. But... sorrowful.

"Yes… I am sick… I was in a coma for the past few years. But now... I'm alive once again… I'm having a therapy once in a while. My roommate takes care of it."

"Wow… He must be the wind beneath your wings…"

He nods, "You could say that again… You know, he's the one who woke up my senses…"

Wait. A while ago, he said that he has no relationship with his roommate. They are not even friends. But… the way he talks about him, it's like he admires this "roommate" of his very much.

Maybe, this "roommate" is very reliable. He was able to pull Kakyou out of his sleep.

"Kamui-san, what is it like to be with plenty of people you love?"

I blink. Then transfer my gaze downwards. I don't know the answer to that question. I don't even know if I can still be with them. They're all gone. Perhaps, I have no answer to that question at all.

Fuuma. No. I've given the chance to Nataku. The chance to be with Fuuma.

"Do you… go to parties…? Walk in the park with them? I mean… how do you spend your quality times together with them?" he continues with an innocent look on his face.

I slowly shake my head. I've done none of those he has mentioned.

"I'm sorry… I will not be able to give you answers you want to hear."

Kakyou gulps. He looks very disappointed at my answer. I want to give him an answer he might enjoy to hear but there's… absolutely none.

He changes the direction of his gaze. I assume he's now looking at the door.

"Why…?" he asks me.

"Because…."

"You don't enjoy such things…?"

I hate myself because I can't entertain Kakyou. His face is very sad and I can do nothing to put a smile on it. It's hard to smile for me, too, because nothing really happens to make me smile.

Softly, I confess to him, "It's not that… I don't enjoy such things. I'm just really not into it. And maybe because… I have no one to spend such things with…"

Kakyou returns his gaze at me. Maybe I caught his attention because what I said sounds so… sad. And well, I can't blame him.

"What… do you mean…?"

I take a deep breath. I want to explain things to Kakyou in a way he will understand my real feelings.

Wow. I'll be sharing my damned life's history to a person I've just known.

But I can feel that Kakyou is someone who will listen to me sincerely.

This is great because no one really cares enough to listen to me. Remember I've said that no one cares about my existence?

Keiichi… Subaru… maybe they *do* really care but… it's something default already. Keiichi is my classmate, Subaru is my roommate, of course somehow, they care for me, because I care for them also.

"I've never interacted with people aside from my doctor and my roommate that's why I want to listen to some stories. That is… if you're willing to tell me yours…. But if you think it's too personal and-----"

I cut what Kakyou is trying to say, then I give him a soft affirmative nod, "No problem… it's a shame though that I can't share to you wonderful stories. So… my life-story is the only thing I can share to you. But I'm warning you… my life-story is very… depressing, to the point that you can say it's boring."

Kakyou holds onto my small hand. It feels as though a skeleton is clasping onto a sponge. My hands are too soft and small while Kakyou's hands are long and thin.

Hah. Do I still make sense here?

"There's no life as depressing as mine. A man who was in a comatose. A life which was really close to death. Organs were functioning but the heart feels nothing."

My eyes widen after hearing that statement. It's… very meaningful…

"I'll listen. I'll lend you my ears," he adds.

I force out a small smile, "Thank you…"

Narrating a life I hate so much is very difficult. But I'll do my very best. I want to please Kakyou.

"I'm an average student… very simple. I don't want to hang out with the other kids. It's of no use to me. Oh… that is…, if they'll ever let me hang out with them. Which I'm sure they won't. Future… I study for *my* future. If ever I have a future to begin with. But one thing that really urges me to go to school everyday is this one person. That person brightens up my day. Oh if only that damn hot guy just leaves him alone…"

I sigh. I can't help but roll my eyes. Thinking about Seishirou tortures me.

Kakyou's gaze at me becomes gentle. Yes, the previous one was gentle enough already but this one is very mild as if a lonely angel is staring at me, "You made mention of this 'one person'… do you… love him…?"

I blink. Blinking probably has really become an automatic response of mine especially when the topic of discussion is about the person I *love*.

Kakyou's waiting for an answer. But I can't tell him about it just yet.

Now I'm blushing.

Oh not again…

"Is it just me or you're blushing…?"

I gulp. Then shake my head almost hysterically.

"Oh no, no, no…"

I keep on blushing. I think it's funny. Does Kakyou now think I'm insane?

"Observing the way your cheeks flush… you must really like this person a lot," Kakyou… teases? I think he's teasing me. But it's not obvious because he talks so gently and innocently.

Kamui liar.

I look at Kakyou again. His lips are parted, waiting for an answer. He still looks artless.

"Do you…?" he pushes the question.

I nod… still blushing, "Very……"

"Interesting...," he whispers.

We keep on talking with each other that we don't immediately notice that it's getting really late already.

"No… not really…," Kakyou answers to a certain question of mine.

I can say that we are enjoying each other's company. Though there's no evidence to back up what I said because I can't still make Kakyou smile even just a little bit. It must be a really tough thing to do.

We're still in a middle of a small talk until here comes a knocking on the door.

"Kakyou? Still awake? I'm home," the one who knocked says.

Kakyou instantly stops talking to me then removes his gaze from me, pinning a look at the door.

"Oh…" is my only reaction.

"Yes…," Kakyou answers back.

Then he returns his gaze at me, "He's back… Fuuma, he is."

My eyes suddenly widen to the nth level. My jaw drops. It feels as though a thunderbolt strikes me directly at the heart.

Who?

Tsuzuku.