A/N: Whoa! The insanity is back! More OOC and… um… VERY disturbing images ahead. Beware. Don't say i didn't warn you...
I don't own RK… obviously. If I did, I wouldn't be writing fanfics about it: I'd be creating it!
The rest of the pizza dinner went by in a blur. Saito was given his slice of pizza and they all finished in silence. Then, the group headed to the movie theater. They got in line for tickets.
"What movie are we seeing?" Kaoru asked Kenshin. He pointed to a poster off to their right. Trust and Betrayal, it read.
"It's about a murderer," Kenshin explained. "Who falls in love." Kaoru blushed just thinking of the romantic possibilities.
They stepped up to the window. Kenshin purchased two tickets, one for himself and the other for Kaoru, who was beet red now. Sano and Megumi stepped up. They stood there for some time.
"Well?" Megumi asked. "Aren't you going to buy me a ticket?"
"…Uh… I thought you'd buy me the ticket."
"Why the heck would I buy you a ticket! You're supposed to be a gentleman and buy ME a ticket!"
"…I'm BROKE!" There was an awkward silence. Megumi took out her wallet and paid for both of them.
"You owe me," she snapped as they walked inside. Aoshi and Misao walked up next. Aoshi bought two tickets and Misao grinned in delight. She jumped onto him in thanks. He just stood stonily and allowed himself to be dragged inside by the hyper girl.
Saito and Tokio stepped up. He was about to buy Tokio her ticket when she cut in front of him and bought it herself. He sweatdropped. She could sense his confusion and turned around.
"Don't worry," she said. "I've got it." He hurriedly bought his own ticket and followed her inside. They stood on line yet again for snacks. Misao was pressing her nose against the glass where the candy was kept. She eyed the chocolates. Kaoru and Kenshin bought one large popcorn and one large drink to share. Megumi once again had to pay for Sano and Aoshi bought one box of each chocolate candy for Misao. Tokio simply bought a drink. Saito walked up to the counter…
And felt like banging his head against it.
There was that SAME pizza delivery man who had stalked him so many weeks before, sporting the SAME yellow and green hat, wearing the SAME green polo shirt with the SAME logo on the shirt pocket, wearing the SAME striped green and yellow pants, and the SAME dorky smile plastered on his face.
"WHY ARE YOU HERE!" Saito yelled. Tokio was already following the others, so he felt it was okay to yell.
"…Do I know you, sir?" the man asked.
"YES!"
"Um… I don't think I do," he said.
"DO YOU WORK AT THE PIZZA PARLOR!" Saito asked, pointing a finger out the doors. The man shook his head slowly.
"Uh… no? I work HERE," he said. Saito glared at him. Surveyed his green polo shirt with the logo.
"…THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT LOGO!" Saito cried. The man looked down. He laughed.
"Ohhhh, this," he said. "My brother works there."
"…Your brother…" Saito huffed.
"Yeah, my twin brother," the man said, grinning. "I'll tell him you said hi." Saito slammed his fist into the counter (dent!) and hurried off after the group without buying anything.
They walked into the dimly lit theater, which happened to be very full. There weren't enough seats in a row for them to take. The couples decided to break off and meet up again outside after the movie. Misao dragged Aoshi toward the front (get a good seat!) while Sano and Megumi took the first seats they saw. Kenshin and Kaoru hurried to the back (no one will see us here!) leaving Saito and Tokio alone.
"Uhh… how about going over there?" Saito asked, spotting three empty seats in a row. Tokio smiled politely.
"Alright," she agreed. They sat down. The movie began. Well, actually, there were quite a few corny previews before, but basically the movie started. Saito stole a glance at Tokio. He had to admit, she was really beautiful…
The person in front of them looked familiar.
"OKITA!" Saito whispered. Tokio didn't notice (the movie was just starting and she didn't want to miss the beginning!). Okita turned around.
"…Oh, hi," he said waaaay too casually.
"…You… followed… us."
"No, I didn't, silly!" Okita grinned. "I've always wanted to see this one!" Saito sighed, nodding resignedly. He sat back in his seat and watched as the murderer killed off one of the government officials. It was a war.
Saito watched the movie, letting it take him far far away from his problems. But that didn't last long. Suddenly, the unmistakable smell of pizza wafted into his nose. He perked, looking around as conspicuously as he could. And there it was. The LARGE pizza… IT WAS PIZZA-SAMA! It was balancing on a flat piece of crust and making its way…
NOOOO! Saito thought in anguish as the pizza sat down in the empty seat next to him. It seemed to sag over the armrests right into Saito's lap. He felt like screaming, but for Tokio's sake, he didn't.
Just then, Saito noticed another figure making his way up the aisle. It was the dreaded pizza man. Saito focused his attention on the screen.
Just focus, stupid, Saito thought. FOCUS! He watched the screen intently as the murderer met up with his future love. It was raining blood… no wait…
IT'S RAINING TOMATO SAUCE! Saito yelled in panic. Well, he kept that inside, but he felt like screaming it. The girl fell forward into the murderer's arms. He picked her up.
"She smells like—" the murderer noted some perfume, but in Saito's mind, he said, "grated cheese." Saito clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He could DO this. He could focus…
The murderer was battling again, but this time, he was cutting down thousands of pizzas. THOUSANDS. Maybe even millions. Saito didn't know. But with every slash of the sword, gallons of tomato sauce, bits of grated cheese, shreds of toppings, and chunks of crust flew down onto the ground. The murderer was killing them without mercy. And then eating the slices he'd made. Oh man…
"Don't you love this, Pizza-sama?" the pizza man asked, snuggling against the huge pizza. Saito felt the warm cheese melting onto his pants. Oh joy. The pizza gave a small gurgling noise and sank further into the seat. The crust bulged over into Saito's lap some more. A blob of sauce dropped onto his shoulder. Saito looked over at Tokio…
He could have screamed at that moment from sheer terror.
TOKIO WAS MAKING OUT WITH A PIZZA! Saito practically fell from his seat. He looked down at Okita—Okita would help him… right? No, Okita couldn't help him. Okita was laying in a pizza's murderous arms… er… crust, dead.
Saito looked over in horror at the pizza man who was grinning evilly over at him.
"This is the WRATH OF PIZZA-SAMA!" he cackled proudly. Saito looked up at the rest of the audience. Didn't they think this was a bit… WEIRD?
"Pizza, pizza, it's really really great! We'll make you eat it at an alarming rate! Eating pizza is the best! Come on by and put your stomach to the test!" the audience chanted with the murderer in the movie. Saito took this moment to scream.
"SHHH!" Tokio said, slapping a hand over his mouth. He looked at her. She wasn't making out with a pizza. She was… sitting there. He looked at Okita, who was staring back at him, completely alive. He glanced at the empty seat next to him. No Pizza-sama or annoying pizza man. He gazed up at the annoyed audience, who were not zombies and were just trying to enjoy their movie. He sat back in his seat.
The end of the movie came quickly, the murderer tragically killing his love while trying to save her. They walked out of the theater and waited outside the door for the others. Saito glanced down at Tokio, who hadn't said a word since his outburst. The others walked out, spotting Saito and Tokio.
"What now?" Kenshin asked, giving Saito a glare.
"…I think I'll just go home," Tokio said, smiling. Saito could tell it wasn't her true smile. She walked off, out of the theater, out of his life.
"Come on, Kenshin," Kaoru said, taking his arm. "Lets go." The others agreed and split up as couples, leaving Saito alone. Okita walked out.
"Um… hi?"
A/N: No, no, don't be sad! Do you really think I'd heartbreak Saito forever!
Komo Pineconeseed: Ahhh I tried to update soon… this was like a word a day! Thanks for reading! I'm glad you like it!
Burnt Up Old Sausage: Haha, thanks a lot! I hope this is just as funny as the last one (to me it's a bit creepier…). I'll try to keep writing more!
Me: Now she really won't like him! Don't worry, everything will be… okay in the end!
Saitouu Ryuuji: That's a good idea! Have Saito read the manga… Hopefully this chapter was just as funny (if not funnier) than the last. Thanks for reading!
GreenEyedFloozy: Its looking pretty bad for him, ain't it?
Delta-chan: Yeahhh popups can ruin your life! Good thing we have Saito to set an example—we can learn from his experiences and not have to suffer ourselves! I'm glad I gave you a laugh!
StarShipDelta & SpaceRoses & Holly-chan: I'm glad its entertaining! I suppose the movie was about pizza (even though it was really just him hallucinating or something). It looks like its Saito: 0 Pizza-sama: 5
Misaoshiru: Yes! And it's back a second time! Its alright that you're not much of a Saito fan. Feel sorry for him? Nah… its not that bad… (Personally, I feel sorry for him… apologizes to Saito)
Cleo: Yeahhh… Saito's life is REALLY complicated. Thanks for reading!
And thanks to all who read but did not review!