Roger Smith has made his decision.
It's not the choice I would have made, but it was never my choice to make. If that is one thing he's taught me: this is what it means to live free.
I only wonder how long we will sit on the bottom of the ocean before someone hauls me out.
TRIUMVIRATE
Fanfic by Jixie 12/2005
The BIG-O © SUNRISE INC
The fight was an arduous one. Perhaps it is because of Fau; it'd always been a difficult opponent. Perhaps it is Alex Rosewater; who has the strength and determination that few dominus possess. Perhaps it is the key; which has been broken and stolen by Fau.
I suspect it is Roger. He is unnaturally troubled and agitated. Between his dysfunction and the damage I've already sustained from Duo, we are a weak team.
Roger puts all of his energy into the fight, brashly acting on raw human emotions, and an unfailing determination to defeat Rosewater. This time it isn't enough.
It doesn't take long for him to wear out. Anger drains the last strength from an already weary man. We haven't landed a single good hit on Fau, it and Rosewater are brutal against us.
Fau tries to knock us down, but Roger has anchored me to the crater behind Fau. In one last, desperate attempt, he fires all of the missile batteries at it. We're so close that the explosion rattles my already weakened hull, and the air is so clouded by debris that none of my detectors can pick up what kind of damage Fau's taken.
It is an absurd belief of mankind's that we machines can not feel. Over time, many of us have developed those prized human emotions, created from the memories of those who've shared their lives with us. As illogical and pointless as it may be, I have come to know one called hope— a feeling of optimism in a dire situation.
Roger is teetering on the edge of consciousness and I have sustained heavy damage. Fau and Rosewater will undoubtedly finish us. I have hope that the attack will give us at least a fighting chance.
Then the smoke and debris starts to clear. I can detect well enough that Fau is unscathed. My hope dwindles, and dies.
Fau comes at us with its arms spinning, both of them aimed at the cockpit. The blows land with terrible force, breaking the hinge and leaving the doors ajar. I am unable to stay upright and crash to the ground. Roger is tossed around in the now open cockpit. It's more than he can handle, and he finally passes out.
Cars and concrete crumble beneath me. With my pilot unconscious, I am helpless to defend us against Fau. Trying one last time I'm finally able to make a connection with the key. Unfortunately my wireless networking abilities are not very strong. With half of it in Fau, and so much trauma to its core memory and internal server, our connection is poor. I do not believe it will help any.
It is with this complete absence of hope that Fau takes hold of my leg and drags us towards the ocean. The Military Police are watching, and Daniel Datsun follows us. He will not be able to change anything and should not throw his life away like this. I want to warn him away, and it is one of many times I regret not having a voice.
As Fau pulls us along, I focus my attention to Roger. Flicking the observation screen, setting off various alarms, and over-riding manual controls have no effect. He does not wake up. Changing focus back to my connection with Dorothy, I instruct it to assist us, but it is confused and unresponsive.
The trip to the pier is agonizingly long. Having arrived at its destination, Fau turns and lifts me into the air. Turning again it holds me over the edge, dangling above the water. Roger has still not come around, Dorothy is unresponsive. Datsun has followed us— he is determined to waste his life to buy us a few meaningless seconds.
None of my attacks have affected Fau and the shot of a single tank is almost embarrassing. Nevertheless, it must take a great courage to face something like Big Fau. Datsun is a courageous man; I will mourn him as well as Roger when this is all over.
Fau and Rosewater are prepared to destroy him when more tanks arrive. This is any unexpected turn of events. Their simultaneous firing still does not damage Fau, but it forces Fau to take action.
Big Fau has made its decision. It gives Alex Rosewater no choice in the matter, even though it should have been Rosewater's choice alone.
His reaction to Fau's connection is so strong that even I can sense it. Human minds were never intended to connect to a computer, their natural instinct is to fight it back. Fau is ruthlessly quick as is parasitizes its dominus' mind. They are no longer two entities, pilot and craft, dominus and megadei. Fau's stronger programming is in charge… now the pilot is the piloted, the master is the puppet.
As much as Roger dislikes Rosewater, I have a sense of sympathy towards him. Clearly the man has no idea what Fau's connection has done.
Once Rosewater has accepted the connection and Fau is in control, it annihilates the tanks. By luck or misfortune Datsun is not in any of them. I am unclear what Fau will do next when Roger wakes up.
"Whu… what…?"
We have to fight back now. Be alert Roger, I need you to pilot. Action!
Roger quickly comes to his senses. He notices that we're upside-down, sees the water below and that the door to the cockpit is open.
"Big O, can you move?" he asks, experimentally pushing on the floor pedal. Indeed I can. Roger hits the door button and then start maneuvering the controls. The hinges on the cockpit door are damaged, so it is kept slightly ajar. He is trying to get us upright and safely on ground when Fau notices.
Rosewater's voice channels through Fau. "I'm going to send you and that giant coffin to the bottom of the sea!" Roger looks startled, apparently he can hear it too.
It's a short fall before I hit the water. Roger is once more tossed about, but this time he stays awake. He fires the chains, which wrap around Fau's neck and pull the other Big down with us.
The moment the water covers over me and we are completely submerged, there is a response from my connection with the key. "Roger," it intones. I can understand it clearly but Roger shows no notice. He is struggling at the controls, anxiously eying the water creeping in from the space between the door and latch.
As we sink deeper, the ridged cuffs on Fau's wrists start to turn, acting as propellers underwater. It starts heading for the surface, pulling us along with it. By now the cockpit is halfway filled with water.
Then the chains snap.
"Roger!"
This time he notices and instinctively glances over his shoulder. Confused, he wordlessly mouths the name 'Dorothy', like it is a question. We are still sinking. Roger is fighting with the controls, unable to get us to stop. It won't be long before I am filled with water and he drowns.
"Are you trying to absorb me into your systems, Big Fau?" Rosewater asks. His voice is as clear as if he was in my own cockpit and it takes a second before I understand why. With half of the key in Fau, there is a feedback signal relay from Rosewater and Fau to Dorothy to Roger and me. "I'm not like that pitiful reporter or even that snickering cyborg. I am a true dominus, the one and only!"
Then I know what must be done.
The times I've made a connection with Roger have always been a mutual choice. Although that makes things easier on his human brain, it still leaves immeasurable damage and distortion. Once a connection is made between megadei and dominus, we will always be one. Death is the only way to disconnect…
…but if we do not connect, then he will die.
I draw out the cables and bring them to Roger. He is almost completely underwater. If I am to act, it must be done quickly. The choice must be made now. The cables wavering above his back, I hesitate. It is not my choice to make.
"Big O," Roger says, using what little oxygen is left. "Is this what you want? If you do this, you and I will become one being. But I've always been with you, isn't that right?"
Yes, that is true. I would never force this on you, but if we don't act now you will die.
"Right. This is my decision."
And then…
Roger Smith has made his decision.
It's not the choice I would have made, but it was never my choice to make. If that is one thing he's taught me: this is what it means to live free.
Watching him die is difficult.
"If I'm cut, I bleed. I have plenty of faults," he babbles as the water starts to go over his head. "I've always been the same man called Roger Smith. This may all be true, but still… who am I?"
There is a pained look in his eyes as memories assault him. It is understood that drowning is a bad way to die, the mind fighting for consciousness as it slowly suffocates. We are steadily sinking, passing by the great lost cities of the past.
'Who am I?'
I hope that you can find the answers in your rest, Roger Smith. I hope that those answers can satisfy you.
My own memories are too great and terrible to share with any human, but the look in Roger's eyes tells me he's remembering them as well. It is unfortunate that he would have to relive those memories as his current life slips away.
'No.' He mouths, still trying to speak in a room filled with water. 'No!' We sink, and his eyes start to glaze over. 'These memories you're seeing… they're…'
"ROGER!"
It is Dorothy the key. Possibly it is too late, but I am aware of a renewed sense of hope. Strange that it is able to function so well without a core memory and such severe system damage, but I do not question this.
Dorothy knows exactly what to do. Giving Roger oxygen from a tank first, it then wrenches the door into place. With the cockpit resealed, it instructs my air systems to function in reverse. The water quickly drains into the ventilation ducts and empties the room. Carefully Dorothy pushes on Roger's chest, the remaining water is forced from his lungs.
As soon as Dorothy is satisfied with this, it crushes the oxygen tank. The sudden release of oxygen and decompression violently revives Roger. He thrashes in the pilot seat and retches, barely missing the android. Dorothy watches with feigned disinterest, and when he finishes the coughing fit, Roger fixes it with an irritated glare.
"DOROTHY! You could have come up with a gentler way to bring me around," he scolds. "You know, like… er, like mouth to mouth or… something?"
"Not with the displacement capacity of my air tank. You're such a louse, Roger Smith."
His face softens, and then he breaks into a smile. "Heh. Definitely R. Dorothy…"
Roger's thought is interrupted when we finally hit the sea bottom. It is mostly rock and the landing jostles the three of us. Running a gloved hand through his hair to wring out some of the water, he comes up with a plan. Retaking the controls, he has me place my fists on the solid ground. One well charged release of both pistons is all it takes to send us rocketing towards the surface.
More than halfway there, we are able to grab hold of one of the underwater buildings. The second piston charge gets us to break the surface. Now I'm close enough to the bay that a short walk along the bottom takes us to the beach and onto land.
Fau is nowhere in sight, but he is quick to discover our reemergence. "You plan on remaining half-dead forever?" Rosewater's voice carries through the relay signal. "Big Fau, I give you all that I am now! I know that's WHAT you WANTED!"
What a joke. Rosewater has belonged entirely to Fau since the megadeus plugged into him. He simply hadn't known it.
"Big O," Dorothy says suddenly, speaking out loud in its primary programming language as it tends to do. "Eject your cables and connect to me."
The request is a surprising one, and I'm eager to establish a solid connection. It is an amazing solution.
Plugging into the dominus allows for greater control, eliminates the faults inherent in having a separate pilot and craft, and creates a distorted harmony of one. Ultimately the megadeus parasites off of the dominus, and in such a case we are still limited to our own abilities.
Plugging into a hardware key opens programs and commands that neither Roger nor I could access on our own. Dorothy, designed by its creator to connect to and function with any megadeus ever built, is the key needed to unlock my most powerful attacks.
The missing core memory gives me a direct access. As soon as our connection is made, it breaks off the remaining signal to the half inside of Big Fau.
Roger is oblivious to all of this, his mind completely focused on finding Fau. This doesn't take long, because Fau is likewise looking for us. Stepping within range of each other, Fau is the one to initiate an attack.
It raises its arms, the wrist cuffs and hands spinning in opposite directions. Both arms detach and fly towards us, now seen as the missiles that they are. Roger jerks the controls and I grab onto the missile arms. Raising them into the air, my grip tightens until the warheads harmlessly explode.
There is a brief feeling of regret over our lost signal with Fau. I would like to hear Rosewater's reaction to this turn of events.
Not that it matters. This has gone on long enough, and it is time to finish this fight. The control deck slides back as a new one takes its place. Roger looks bewildered at the new controller which he's never seen before. "What is all this?" Half turning in the pilot seat he looks back at Dorothy, who is plugged in. "Huh… Dorothy, you can…? How did you know?"
"I was informed by a buffoon with curly hair and gaudy clothing."
"That son of a gun," Roger says with a crooked grin as he turned back to the controller. "Big O! Final stage!"
After anchoring to the ground, my arm shields, shoulder guard, and chest plate all expand. The hidden laser cannon opens, charging for the blast. I've never had access to the chest cannon, and although this is its first use, I know that it is my most powerful attack. Our last hope against Fau.
And will it work? Who can say which of us is stronger? Water cannot defeat earth cannot defeat wind cannot defeat water. We are all equally matched, it is the dominus that pilots us who decides the battle. Roger Smith is a greater man that Alex Rosewater. It has to work.
Fau charges as we fire the cannon. The resulting explosion is spectacular. It is a surprise that I stay standing.
As the debris clears, we can see that Fau is still there. The laser has caused significant damage, however, as half of Big Fau is simply… gone.
Rosewater's enraged screams are so loud we can faintly hear it, even if the words are impossible to distinguish. Fau struggles to keep its balance as it attempts to fire back. As much as I'd like to put Rosewater and Fau out of their misery, the cannon will need a few minutes to recharge.
—then, none of it matters.
The sky changes and the shadow of death falls over everything. Light, color, and reality twist and warp around the figure that rises from the void.
"Big Venus." The name I would not have dared to utter, Dorothy identifies it. "A bird whose wings have been plucked."
Roger inhales sharply before finishing Dorothy's sentence. "…will turn into the beast it was before it evolved into a bird."
The master Big marches forward, consuming everything in its path. Fau stands and accepts its fate, earning an honorable termination.
Roger is talking— no, shouting— at the Big. No. At its dominus. His words are indiscernible to me, I am too engrossed by the Big that is now marching towards us.
This is it. The end, again. Again. Again.
"Big O," Roger addresses me as he opens the door to the cockpit. "Wait here." Standing up from the pilot chair, he leaps onto the open door. "This one is for me to handle."
And he does.
Much later, R. Dorothy Wayneright talks to Angel Rosewater. Key to dominus, android to human, woman to woman. They talk about my Roger Smith, a man that they both cherish. Those two are more alike than Dorothy cares to admit.
I did not expect there to be any side effects to plugging into the key. Perhaps Dorothy knew, after all, that was its purpose. The connection is not unlike one made with the dominus. Even now I have access to everything that it is, everything it sees and experiences and remembers. A connection till death, if an android could die. I wonder if that bothers it any.
After their talk, Angel goes to Roger. I watch through Dorothy's eyes as it waits for Angel to return, say her goodbyes, and leave. Polite enough to let the master Big's dominus to say farewell to Roger in private, Dorothy is still eager to see the blonde gone.
When Angel has finally left, Dorothy goes to Roger and tries to lighten his mood. The two of them have had much distress from the reset. I've tried my best to comfort both of them during this difficult period. Norman Berg, our friend and keeper, has also helped in every way possible. There is only so much we can do.
It is then, after Angel's departure, that things are completed. Realizing that Roger is in no mood for conversing, Dorothy starts turning over hourglasses. Together they observe the sifting sands contained in each molded glass vessel.
As the first few hourglasses finish their time, Dorothy begins turning others and Roger stops it. Selecting certain ones, he turns them over himself in a particular order. When it inquires about the order, he blows off the issue as being irrelevant.
"Venus turned over Paradigm City's hourglass," Dorothy says suddenly.
"Yes… I guess so," he agrees.
"What do we do now, Roger Smith?"
He doesn't answer. Instead he looks at Dorothy intently, as if trying to think of something. Then he touches its face, gloved hand on synthetic skin.
My connection to Dorothy is a network of computer systems, a link between two minds. Dorothy's connection to Roger is more spiritual, a link between two hearts. Roger's connection to me is the most tangible, one body controlling another. There is only one connection missing. It is something that we are finally able to resolve.
Without chromosomes it is impossible for a machine to have a gender, nevertheless, Dorothy has been fashioned after a woman. Its purpose makes it able to electronically connect to megadei, its design allows it to physically connect to humans.
Driven by the most basic of human emotions, Roger makes another choice and acts on it. Somehow it is very different but very alike to the connection I would have made with him, had I plugged in. Through Dorothy the key we have gained a sort of balance in our relationship. I am now on the same level with Roger. At the same time, Dorothy gains the link and affirmation it yearned for.
This is my answer. People are not ruled by their memories— they are ruled by their feelings.
Roger Smith has made his decision.
It's not the choice I would have made, but it was never my choice to make. If that is one thing he's taught me: this is what it means to live free.
We have come to terms.