Chapter 3

"She really thought that someone was playing a trick on her?" asked Robin. The four Titans were sitting at the table eating breakfast the next morning. Beast Boy was telling them about how strangely Raven had been acting the previous night.

"I was wondering why the couch was upside down," said Cyborg.

"She was really freaked out," said Beast Boy.

"Perhaps she is ill," said Starfire.

"I think she was just tired," said Beast Boy. "Once she went back to bed I didn't hear a peep from her."

Just then they could hear the sound of the door leading into the common room swoosh open. There stood a very groggy Raven, rubbing her eyes of sleep. The other Titans smiled as she walked in, but she barely noticed.

"Hey Raven," said Robin. "You sleep okay?"

Raven gave him a so-so gesture and sat down at the table. She still looked very tired and she flopped her head down on the table. This was certainly not a normal Raven move, so the others knew that something was wrong.

"We heard you had some trouble falling asleep last night," said Cyborg.

"You have no idea," said Raven through the table.

"Please, Raven, tell us, are you ill?" asked Starfire.

"I don't know," said Raven lifting her head. "I could have sworn that I kept hearing someone talking to me last night. Saying awful, horrible, mean things."

"That's strange," said Robin. "Did it sound like anyone we would know?"

"That's the weird thing," said Raven fully sitting up. "It doesn't sound like a person. It sounds like… like… like a voice. As if it doesn't belong to a person at all. Like it's just a floating voice. God, I sound nuts." She collapsed back onto the table and covered her head.

"Maybe you should have Cyborg run a few tests on you," said Beast Boy putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I could scan you over to see if there's something odd in your system," said Cyborg.

"No," said Raven cocking her head to the side so that she could see Cyborg. "Not yet, at least. I mean, it could be what Beast Boy said, I was just over tired. But if it starts up again I'll let you do whatever tests you need to do."

"Okay, it's your mind and body," said Cyborg.

Raven nodded and then put her face flat on the table. She felt so tired and drained. The night before had been so crazy that it seemed more like a dream. Or a nightmare.

'They think you're weak.'

Raven quickly sat up and looked around. This took the other four by surprise and they jumped backwards in their chairs. She refused to believe she had heard it again. She really didn't want any tests done on her. That wasn't exactly her style.

"Are you okay?" asked Robin.

"Yeah, I'm fine," said Raven lied. "Just fell asleep for a moment. I think…um… I'm going to go to my room for a little while." With that she stood up and headed back to her room. The others waited until she left to talk.

"What the heck was that all about?" asked Cyborg.

"Dude! She acted the same way last night before she asked me if I had heard someone talk," said Beast Boy.

"Do you suppose she has heard the voice again?" asked Starfire.

"I'm not sure," said Robin. "But if she gets as scared as Beast Boy said she was last night then she'll tell us. At least, I hope."

Raven was determined to meditate and calm her mind down. She was not going to be freaked out by some stupid voice saying mean things to her. She levitated above her bed and began to chant. "Azarath… metrion…zinthos…Azarath… metrion… zinthos…" She felt everything around her melt away as she found her center. Finally all that was hectic in her head was quieting down. Slowly she could feel herself being reenergized as her meditation deepened.

'They don't trust you.'

Raven disregarded that statement. Just a memory of an old insult, nothing more.

'You can't trust them.'

"I'm not listening."

'They see right through your charade.'

"These are just nerves talking."

'They're watching you right now.'

"Shut up."

'You know it's true.'

"Shut up."

'They'll turn on you, just like everyone else.'

"Shut up!" Raven came out of her meditation and fell onto her bed. She was panting and could feel her heart racing. Sweat dripped down her face and she could tell that she had been clenching her teeth from her sore jaw. "Maybe it's this room or the tower. Fresh air. Fresh air will clear my mind." She got off of her bed and left her room.

She made it to the roof and breathed in the fresh air. It was an alright day, cloudy, but not so much that it was dark and gloomy out. She sat down and let the clean air cleanse her being. She already felt better.

'No one's ever been truthful to you.'

She looked around, just to make sure that there was no one up there with her. "This is ridiculous!" she shouted at herself. "There is no one around. There is no one talking to me."

'No one loves you.'

"Ah!" she screamed in frustration. "Maybe it's the whole tower. I've got to get away from it." She proceeded to fly off, but decided that she should at least let her friends know.

She found them hanging around in the common room, each doing their own thing. "I'm going out for a little while," she announced. "Just thought I should let you guys know incase you were wondering where I was."

They all said, "Okay," and Raven left. She flew over the city, looking down at all the people moving about in their daily lives. She saw the cars dancing in a traffic tango that was in a way beautiful, when you were hundreds of feet above it of course.

'They're talking behind your back.'

"Okay, maybe walking will help," she said to herself and landed. She was just outside of the city. She started to slowly walk at a normal pace, hoping that this would finally cleanse her mind.

'You're evil and you know it.'

"Shut up already! Where the heck is this coming from?"

'You're dark and creepy and no one will ever love you, you demon.'

"That's not true. I'm not a demon, I'm not creepy, and I'm only dark because I have to be."

'You can't deny your evil soul.'

"I'm not denying anything. Wait a second? Who the heck am I talking to?"

'You are a witch and will never do anything good.'

"Stop it! Stop saying these things."

Five hours had passed and Raven was still not back yet. It was dusk and starting to rain and the Titans were starting to grow worried. Actually, they had passed started and were full on worried sick.

"She's never been gone this long without checking in with us," said Robin pacing back and forth.

"Man, I don't think she's ever left the tower alone for more than a half an hour," said Cyborg trying to find her locator. "What really worries me is that her locator isn't responding."

"Oh, I wish to know where our friend is, please," said Starfire entering the room. She had been trying to keep herself busy, but now she was too upset.

"We all do, Star," said Beast Boy. "Shouldn't we start looking for her?"

"We don't know where to look," said Cyborg.

"Beast Boy's right," said Robin. "We'll each split up and start looking. She has to be somewhere in the…"

"Wait!" said Cyborg interrupting him. There was a small red dot on the screen. "I found her; or her locator at least."

"Then let's move out," said Robin. "Where is she?"

"In the woods right outside the city," said Cyborg.

The Titans quickly arrived at the forest that lied right outside the city. It was starting to pour and they knew they knew that Raven would never normally be in the woods while it was raining. Cyborg checked to make sure her locator was still there and that it hadn't moved. They headed in and started to look around. Cyborg led them right to her locator, but not to Raven. It was lying on the ground, along with her cloak.

"What the heck? Something is definitely wrong here," said Robin.

"But where is Raven?" asked Starfire frantically. "Should she not be with her locator?"

"And why isn't she wearing her cloak?" asked Beast Boy picking it up the discarded cloak. "I mean, it's raining!"

"Well I don't know how we're going to find her now," said a frustrated Cyborg. "I can't find her if she's not wearin her locator. Not to mention it's dark out and it's pourin."

"But we must find her," said Starfire.

"Don't worry Star," said Robin. "We're not leaving without her." He sighed. "I just don't know how we're going to find her."

"I'll find her," said Beast Boy. "I'll track her down with my nose. Just stay here, I'll call you when I find her." He turned into a bloodhound, sniffed her cloak, and then the air. He waited and then caught the same faint scent. He howled and began to run after it.

The rain fell in sheets and now the wind was blowing as well. It was so dark that any normal person would not be able to walk three feet without stumbling into a tree. Beast Boy kept right on the scent until finally he heard something. He stopped and listened closely. Someone was near him, walking around and talking. He changed back to normal and looked around. All of his senses were heightened because of his abilities, and he looked around and listened with his elf ears. Then he saw something moving near him.

"Raven?" he called out. The figure didn't seem to notice him; they just stumbled around in the rain, bumping into trees, tripping over their feet and all the debris on the ground. Beast Boy wasn't sure if this was Raven or not, but he knew that no normal person would be walking around the woods in a rain storm.

"… so what if they don't spend any time with me, I like it that way. They're not avoiding me they're giving me my space. I like my space. Space is good. I can think when they're not around. I don't care if no one likes me. I don't care if no one loves me. I'm not supposed to feel those kinds of things. They're not talking about me when I'm not around. That's a stupid thing to think. Then why am I thinking it? Am I thinking it or are you thinking it? Who are you! Where am I now? I don't care! No, I'm not a demon, I'm not evil. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!"

She was talking a mile a minute and seemed scared to death. Beast Boy knew it was Raven by her voice, but he had never seen her like this. She looked manic and confused. He approached her as she kept on ranting and raving and got a good look at her. She was in only her leotard and it was ripped. She was soaking wet and it looked as if she had fallen into mud a few times. She kept spinning around as if she was being stalked.

"Raven?" he asked calmly, interrupting her. She turned quickly and the look in her eyes scared Beast Boy. She looked at him as if she had never seen him before in her life. She also looked as if she had been crying, even though it was hard to see the tears through the rain. As he approached her she started to walk backwards, and she kept talking.

"I'm not evil! I swear I'm not. I don't want to be. Everyone keeps looking at me. They keep judging me because of the way I appear on the outside. I don't want to be hated anymore. Why is everyone so afraid of me?" She tripped over a branch that was on the ground and fell into the mud. Beast Boy went to help her, but she only backed away from him. He stopped and watched as she started to rock back and forth in the mud. He bent down so that he was eye lever with her. "I'm a horrible person. I don't deserve to be trusted. I don't deserve to even be alive. They all know it. They just want to make me feel bad. Why would they do that? Why do they stare at me?"

"Raven calm down," said Beast Boy slowly. She looked up at him and they finally made eye contact. She was hysterically crying and shaking all over. "It's me, Beast Boy." He dared to move a little closer. "It's okay. You're going to be alright."

"They talk about me behind my back," she said looking him straight in the eye. "They do! They say horrible things about me and they think I don't know." She leaned in closer to him and said in a hiss, "I know."

"Who say these horrible things about you, Raven?" asked Beast Boy.

"The Teen Titans," she whispered. She looked dead serious and she also looked scared. Beast Boy didn't know what was going on, but he knew that this wasn't good.

He reached for his communicator and turned it on, "Guys, I found her." He quickly shut it and put it back on his belt. He then lent out his hand to her. "Raven, you need to come with me now."

"They don't trust me and I don't trust them," said Raven, her whole body shaking.

"Raven, you're not thinking straight," said Beast Boy, trying to reason with her.

"They're just using me! I know it. And once they're done with me they're going to kick me out. Just like everyone else has done when they've gotten what they want from me. I can't let them do this anymore. I can't let anyone trick me and use me anymore. I can't!" she screamed.

Beast Boy grabbed her face and looked her straight in the eyes. "Raven this is Beast Boy talking to you! You have to calm down. No one's saying anything bad about you. No one is tricking you. I promise."

She stared at him, her eyes wide. Then she started to blink, as if snapping out of it. She looked around her and saw where she was. She felt the cold rain pouring onto her drenched body. She could feel that she was just in a ripped leotard. She looked back at Beast Boy and completely broke down. She started to cry hysterically and fell into Beast Boys arms. He held her as close to him as he could. She was shaking horribly and she clung to him. He held her small, cold, wet frame and waited for the others to arrive.

The three other Titans found Beast Boy with Raven cradled in his arms. Beast Boy just looked up at them, he couldn't think of any words to say. He wasn't even sure what was going on. None of them were. Especially not Raven.