Chapter 6

Raven opened her eyes and saw that she was standing on a large rock in the middle of nowhere. The sky above her was black with stars that glistened at her angrily. She was in her mind. She began to walk forward and as she went rocks formed under her feet, creating a path. She walked to the very center of her mind and once there she called upon her emotions. Slowly eight different colored cloaked Ravens appeared from the ground, rising up. Raven was happy to see them, but they did not seem to be happy to see her.

"Uh, hi everyone," said Raven unsure why they looked so cross with her. Even happy looked angry. Something was wrong. "Is there something I should know about?"

"I'm evil," said Timid.

"Excuse me?" asked Raven.

"I'm weak," said Brave.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, growing nervous.

"I don't deserve happiness," said Rude.

Raven looked at each of them and began to grow frightened. "What's going on here?"

"Everyone hates me," said Knowledge.

"Oh Azar, not in here," she said in disbelief.

"No one will ever consider loving me," said Affection. "Let alone consider kissing me."

"Stop it!" shouted Raven.

"No one trusts me," they all said at once. "They all have it out for me. They're just using me. I only inflict pain and fear. I don't deserve to live."

"Shut up!" she screamed covering her ears. "This is not happening. Not in my mind. This is a trick."

"Everyone tricks us!" they all screamed. The started to walk towards her, circling around her. "No one really means what they say. No one will ever love me. I'm an ugly, plain demon. I belong in hell, where I belong."

"Oh no, I have to get out of here," said Raven. She went to move, but the emotions enclosed all around her. She was stuck in the middle.

'You know what they say is true.'

The voice echoed through her mind. Raven looked all around her, expecting to see someone else. "No it's not, none of it is true," she said to the sky above her.

'Even your mind knows it's true. How can you not trust your own mind? You are evil, you are a demon, you are being misled by everyone you know, and you can not hide from the truth of your existence.'

"I am not listening to this any more," said Raven. She pushed past her emotions and started to run. She ran until she was far enough away to recite her words and get out of there. "Azarath…"

'They are liars.'

"…metrion…"

'You are evil.'

"…zinthos!"

'And they know it!'

Beast Boy was sitting in the chair next to Ravens bed, looking through one of her books. The mirror lay in the middle of her bed. Suddenly it flashed and spat out Raven. Beast Boy quickly threw the book to the side and pretended that he hadn't been looking at it. Raven fell on her back on the bed. She quickly sat up and kicked the mirror away from her.

"Are you okay?" asked Beast Boy.

"Get it away from me!" she said pointing to the mirror. "Put it away, I don't care where; just get it out of my sight." Beast Boy quickly grabbed it and threw it one of her drawers. He looked back at her and saw that she had her face in her hands, shaking her head.

"Raven, what happened?" he asked crawling onto the bed, sitting across from her.

She suddenly put her hands down from her face and grabbed his hands. He almost leapt back as she did this. "Beast Boy, do you think I'm evil?"

"What?" he asked.

"Would you ever lie to me?" she asked, her eyes pleading.

"Raven, what are you talking about?" he asked, concerned.

"Please, just answer the questions," she said, desperately. "Do you think I'm evil?"

Beast Boy looked deep into her eyes and said, "Of course not."

"Would you ever lie to me?" she asked.

"No," he said firmly. "What happened to you in there?"

Raven held his hands tighter and brought then up to her face. She bent her head and let her brow rest upon them. "It was so horrible. All of my emotions, they were saying everything that the voice was saying. And then the voice was there. It was so loud, so convincing. They were all around me, saying all those horrible things. They told me that I was nothing but an evil demon. They said that no one would ever consider loving me or even consider kissing me. They told me that everyone just lies and uses me. They keep telling me to kill myself, that my life is worthless."

"Raven, you are none of those things," said Beast Boy lifting her head and looking into her eyes. "You are not evil. You're only half of a demon and you never act upon that part of you. Your life is not worthless. We all love you and would never lie or trick you. It's this voice that's tricking you, just don't listen to it."

"I don't think I can anymore," said Raven as her eyes filled with tears.

"You have to, Raven," said Beast Boy still holding her face. "You have to fight it."

"I don't know how!" she said with tears streaming down her cheeks. "My mind has already been taken over; it's only a matter of time before it finally takes over me."

"No! I won't let it," said Beast Boy wiping away her tears with his thumb. "I won't let you be taken over by a stupid manipulating voice. I'm not going to give up on you, no matter how far this voice goes to destroy you." Raven broke down and wept. Beast Boy let go of her and let her crumple down onto the bed. She grabbed her blankets and cried into them.

"Darn it! I'm so sick of crying," she screamed into her bed. She sat up quickly and looked at Beast Boy. "I'm sick of doing this in front of you. I'm sick of completely breaking down like a weak child. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't." She fell back onto her bed and cried more.

Beast Boy had no idea what to do. Here was Raven, having a mental break down, and he was helpless to stop it. 'I don't want her to cry anymore,' he thought. 'I don't want her to hurt anymore. She's already been through enough in her life without this stupid voice bullying her around. Telling her to kill herself? That's totally unacceptable!'

"Raven, if you need anything, please just tell me," he said softly and started to rub her back. "I don't want you to feel alone."

She looked up at him and then slowly sat up. She was having lung spasms and her nose was running. Her eyes burned from all the crying she had been doing lately. The white surrounding her violet eyes were now red and made them stand out even more than before. Her lips were swollen, as well as her cheeks. Beast Boy gave her a weak smile and kept rubbing her back.

"Why do you want to help me?" she managed to say. "After all the horrible things I've said to you. After years of me repaying your kindness with sarcasm and coldness. How can you possibly consider me your friend?"

"Because I know that that's not really you," he said looking into her glistening eyes. "I know that underneath your sarcastic words and your annoyed personality lays the heart of a woman who would do anything for her friends; a woman who keeps everything inside just so others can express themselves. And if you never said anything sarcastic to me then I would never have a reason to improve my comedy."

Raven looked at him for a moment. "So… it's been a couple years. When are you going to improve your comedy?"

He looked at her for a moment and then a large grin spread across his face. A smile appeared on Ravens face too and they both started to giggle. Beast Boy brought her into her arms as they both quietly laughed. "Now that's the Raven I know," he said. She laughed a little more and ignored the fact that the draws of her burrows started opening and closing from her powers. She loved to be held by him and he loved to hold her. Slowly she calmed down and started breathing normally, her tears had ceased to fall.

'He's just going to use you.'

Raven gasped and jumped backwards, out of Beast Boys arms. She felt her heart begin to race and her breath quicken. "Did you just hear it?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yes," she said scared.

"What did it say?" he asked.

"It said, 'he's going to use you'." Raven looked him straight in the eyes. "Are you?"

"What?" he asked shocked. "No! I'm not using you. I'm helping you. Don't believe a word it says."

"You're right," she said, nodding to herself. "You're right; it's just a stupid voice. A stupid, lying voice."

"Why did you almost believe it right now?" asked Beast Boy.

Raven paused and thought, but her mind went blank. "I don't know." She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "I think it's begun."

"What? What's begun?" he asked taking her hand.

"I think it's starting to take over me."

"No! No it's not," said Beast Boy. "Just remember that it wants to trick you. It wants you to fail. Don't let it fool you. You are strong, Raven. You are the strongest person I have ever met and that's not a lie. I would never lie to you. I would never use you. Never."

He looked into her eyes and she looked back into his. His eyes were like sparkling emeralds and were full of nothing but sincerity. She suddenly felt something odd creep into her stomach. Her heart rate quickened again as she became lost in his eyes.

Beast Boy was smiling, but it started to fade as he noticed how she was looking at him. He could feel his own heart begin to race as he became mesmerized by her violet eyes that were like deep pools that harbored the secrets of the world. Her world.

Slowly, as if by some other force, they two could feel themselves being drawn to the other. Their eyes no longer looked into the others, but no glanced down at their lips. As they moved closer and closer together Beast Boy could feel a shiver go up his spine. Raven felt it as well.

"Beast Boy?" she whispered as they still moved ever closer together.

"Yes?" he said softly, not breaking his eye contact with her lips.

"Would you… could you ever consider kissing me?" she asked and closed her eyes.

He closed his eyes and in a whisper said, "Yes." Then their lips met. A warm feeling spread through their bodies, like an electric shock. They felt as if they had left their bodies, that they were watching all of this from a distance. It just couldn't be real. But it was. And for once, for the both of them, reality seemed to be of heaven, not of hell.