Chapter 9

Days passed and still they were no closer to finding out what was wrong with Raven. They visited her every day, but it did not make them happy to see her. She was no longer even a shadow of who she used to be. She screamed at them when she saw them and cursed them. She tossed herself against the window and tried to break free. She had a black eye from one of the male nurses who was trying to hold her down. They watched helplessly as she plunged into a deeper and deeper insanity.

None took it as hard as Beast Boy. He had not told his friends about the kiss they had shared or about the feelings he was starting to have for her. He felt his heart break whenever he saw her. He kept telling himself that this wasn't Raven. But the horrible fact of the matter was that it was. It was Raven and he was powerless to stop it.

Two weeks passed and Raven had finally calmed down. The problem was that she was too calm. She would just sit in the corner of her cell, silent. When the Titans visited her she just stared at the wall and didn't even acknowledge them. She even had a team of doctors who specialized in odd and rare psychological cases, but none could figure out what was wrong with her. Beast Boy just couldn't take it anymore. He had to talk to her, try to get through to her.

"You'll be watched at all times," said the doctor as he and Beast Boy stood outside of Ravens cell door. "She really can't do any harm to you, but if you feel threatened just call out."

"Okay," said Beast Boy. He was a little nervous. The other Titans didn't know that he had come to see Raven, to talk to her. The doctors thought that it might be a good idea, since she hadn't communicated with anyone in almost a week.

The doctor unlocked the door and let Beast Boy in. As soon as he stepped through the door was shut and locked. Beast Boy had requested that the window not come up and they simply be watched through the cameras. So now it was just he and Raven, in the white padded room.

She was sitting in the left corner of the room. One knee was up while the other stuck out straight in front of her. Her arms were still wrapped around her, of course, and her head was pressed against the wall. She had a blank look on her face as she stared at the adjacent wall. Beast Boy slowly walked over to the wall she was staring at.

"Hi Raven," he said softly. She didn't respond. He sat down and moved so that he was right in her eye sight. She was now looking straight at him, but that didn't mean she was actually looking at him. Her eyes were blank, as if there was no one home. "I just came to see how you were doing." He waited to see if anything would change in her face. Nothing. "We miss you. We really do. The tower's just not the same without you, you know?"

The silence in the room made Beast Boy shiver. He hated silence. With a passion. He wanted her to say something, even if it was insane babble. Just to hear her voice.

"I know that you think that all we ever did was lie to you. I know that you think that we used you. I know you think that I abandoned you and never cared about you. But the truth is, Raven, that the only person who is lying to themselves is you."

Raven slowly blinked her eyes, as if she was in a trance.

"I know that deep down in your heart you know that everything that voice has said to you is a lie. But I also know that listening to your heart has never been easy for you. And I'm afraid that if we don't figure out what's wrong with you soon then we never will."

Beast Boy could feel tears welling up inside of him. He felt his throat begin to swell and rip and his lips quiver.

"God, I would do anything to make you well again." The tears fell and he was now sitting across from her, sobbing. "I would do anything to hear one of your sarcastic comments. To have you make fun of me. To be stricken by one of your icy stares. I miss the way you would call me childish and immature. I miss how angry you would get when I interrupted your meditation. But the plain fact is that I just miss you."

Beast Boy cried and wiped his tears away with his sleeve. He had never felt like this before. He wasn't sure what he was feeling so strongly for Raven at that moment, but it was not something that could be ignored. His heart longed to know that she was going to be okay. But his brain knew that the chances of ever getting Raven back were too slim.

Raven suddenly shifted her eyes. She was now looking Beast Boy dead on. He did not notice since he was crying into his shirt. "You miss what I used to be," she hissed angrily.

Beast Boy looked up immediately and saw her looking straight into his eyes. Her eyes were no longer the soft, pools of wisdom and beauty. Now they spat hatred and burned Beast Boy to his core.

"Yes, I do miss who you used to be," said Beast Boy, almost defeated. "Because it was that Raven who had so much potential. She had a life to live. But you're not her, not anymore."

"And I never will be again," growled Raven. And with that she shifted her body around so that she was staring straight into the corner. Beast Boy couldn't stop crying now. He was never one to really weep, but this situation called for it. It was official, he had lost her. He had broken his promise, just like the voice said he would. He let it take over her and now she was gone forever, lost in a whirlwind of insanity that was destroying her.

Beast Boy stood up and wiped his eyes once more. "I just thought I should tell how much we're going to miss you," he said, trying to sound like he wasn't crying, but failing. "You're a beautiful, wonderful person Raven, who is surrounded by people who love you. I only wish that I could show you that. And no matter what you think, no matter what that voice tells you, you will always have a special place in my heart. So that even if you are stuck for all eternity dwelling into the insecurities of your mind, you will always live on… in me. Because a world without you, Raven, just isn't a world I think I can live in." He started to sob again, but headed for the door. He knocked upon it and the doctor let him out. Raven never turned out of the corner.

The doctor met him on the other side of the door and handed him some tissues. Beast Boy managed a thank you and wiped his eyes and running nose. He tried to stop his sniffling, but he found it very difficult.

"Just remember that she doesn't mean any of the things she says," said the doctor in a comforting tone.

"I know," Beast Boy managed to say.

"She's just very sick," said the doctor.

"I know," said Beast Boy again. He did know. There was nothing new. He had spent countless nights researching mental diseases until morning. He had barely gotten any sleep. But he was still in the dark. Raven was seemed incurable. Yeah, he knew.

"Will you be returning tomorrow?" asked the doctor.

Beast Boy paused for a moment and thought. Then he looked the doctor in the eye and said, "No." The doctor sighed and nodded. It was clear that he just couldn't do it anymore. He had said his good bye. He couldn't bear to see her after that. So he shook the doctor's hand and headed home.

Beast Boy decided to walk home. He needed time to think. It was quite possible that he would never see her again. Not in the flesh, at least. It was like she had died all over again, like when her father came to end the world. He had suffered many loses in his life. The tragic death of his parents. The loss of his first love, the traitor Terra. And now Raven. The girl who was so independent. The girl who feared her emotions. The girl who chose to trust him above everyone else. Above the leader of the team. Above the living robot. Above her best girl friend. She had chosen him to protect her. And he let her down.

Suddenly his communicator went off. He opened it up and saw Robin's face. "Beast Boy where are you?"

"Just taking a walk," said Beast Boy, hoping he wouldn't notice that he had been crying.

"We've got a robbery in progress," said Robin quickly. "Here are the coordinates." Beast Boy saw where it was and headed off. No matter what was going on in their personal life, the city still needed saving. Life goes on, whether you want it to or not.

Beast Boy reached the store that was being robbed and saw that the other Titans had just arrived as well. He joined them and they waited for them to exit the building. A familiar black clothed thief took a step out of the building.

"Mind Mover," said Robin in a growl. They remembered this guy.

Mind Mover gave them a swift evil, smile. "One, two, three, four… it appears that you are missing your team witch. So, who do I take down next? She was easy enough."

"You did not defeat our friend," said Starfire angrily. "You retreated after you found that you were too equally matched with her. But we know that she would have defeated you if you had stayed."

"Retreated?" he laughed. "I did not retreat. One does not "retreat" after a victory. They simply leave."

"What victory?" asked Cyborg. "Man, we just told you that you didn't beat Raven."

"Then where is she?" he asked, his smile never leaving his face.

"That's none of your concern," said Robin.

"Let me guess. She's all tied up in a white room."

The Titans couldn't believe what he had said. How did he know? Or was he bluffing?

"Why do you say that?" asked Starfire.

"Because that's where you end up when you're insane, of course. Surely you must have noticed that she is no longer mentally stable. One of my better talents, I must say."

"You did this?" asked Beast Boy shocked. Then a rage built up inside of him that he had never felt before. It coursed through his veins and made him feel as if he was burning. "You did this!" Beast Boy lunged at him. Mind Mover simply yawned and put a hand up. The invisible barrier was back and it stopped Beast Boy.

"Titans go!" screamed Robin.

They hit the barrier with everything they had, but just as before, it could not be breached. Beast Boy wanted to kill him. He wanted to send him to the hell that Raven was living in. So he decided to do bring out a side of him he only used in dyer situations. The Beast.

Once he had transformed the other Titans made sure to stay away from him as they fought. Beast Boy wasn't exactly himself when he was the Beast, so there was a chance of getting caught in the crossfire. The Beast looked for any possible weakness in the barrier, but could not find one. Then an idea struck his brain and he disappeared.

Mind Mover was getting quite bored as the Titans attempted to touch him. He picked up his bag of goods and started to walk away. The Titans followed him, but they could not get any closer to him. They couldn't let him get away. He knew how to help Raven. He was the one who had poisoned her mind. He had to be stopped.

"Well Titans, it's been fun, but I believe my stay in your city is over," said Mind Mover with his wicked smile.

Suddenly the ground beneath Mind Mover exploded and the Beast burst from the ground. He had gone into the sewer and came up underneath him, where he knew Mind Mover would not protect himself. Before he could lift a hand the Beast grabbed him and threw him against a building, knocking him out. The Beast hovered over his unconscious body for a moment, growling.

"Beast Boy!" screamed the other Titans before he could do anymore. The Beast turned towards them and growled. "He's down, man," said Cyborg. "You can turn back now."

The Beast looked back at Mind Mover and then sighed. Slowly he shrunk and transformed back into Beast Boy. Turning into the Beast always took a lot out of him and he almost collapsed as he came back. Starfire helped support him so he wouldn't fall over. They had gotten their man, and now it was time to get back their girl.