How Hiei Stole Christmas
Hello everyone! For the Christmas season, my muses have agreed…
Yusuke: I didn't agree to this!
(Ahem) As I was saying…My muses are going to perform the YYH version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
Let me say here and now that I do not own YYH nor do I own the Grinch, both belong to their creators who were geniuses and who I wish I could write such awesome stuff!
Hiei: I hate you.
I know you do. (Grins) but at least I now got a Kurama muse! (Smiles) That's right people; I FINALLY got a Kurama muse! Couldn't do this story with out it! Oh I might as well tell you the cast! (Clears throat)
Playing as Max, the lovable and cute dog is Kuwabara!
Kuwabara: (dressed in a doggy suit) I hate you right now, you know that?
Awww, but you look soooo cute! At least you're not the Grinch…or Cindy Lu for that matter…
Kuwabara:…true…I guess….
Ok, playing as Cindy Lou, the cute little girl that meets the Grinch, Kurama! Welcome to the team!
Kurama: I knew I never should have answered that flier… (Sighs)
Yusuke: For such a smart guy, you sure were stupid joining this lunatic!
(Glares at Yusuke) You should be lucky you even HAVE a part in this! I could have left you out you know!
Yusuke: (glares) You should have left me out…
Fine, maybe I will…
Yusuke: (fidgets a bit) Oh alright fine…I'll do it…
(Grins) I knew you'd see it my way!
Playing as the Narrator is Yusuke!
Yusuke: I know I'm going to regret this…
(Ignores Yusuke) And playing as the Grinch, the rotten yet lovable green dude, Hiei!
Hiei: (glares) I really REALLY hate you right now.
I know (grins)
Kuwabara: (sighs) This is gonna be fun…I'm Hiei's pet…
Ok people places!
(Running around and noises heard)
Ok let's start this thing! (Turns to audience) I hope you guys like it .
thinking
The actual story
Yusuke walks up to a microphone and takes out some reading glasses.
"I really hate this…" he mumbles.
"Do it or no more stories about you and Kuwa!"
Yusuke pales at the author and gulps.
"Fine!"
He clears his voice and begins.
"Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot..." he started.
There is a village that has many houses. Kurama is seen, walking with both Toguro brothers, around the town, looking happy. A few others from other anime shows are there, all happy.
"But the Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, Did NOT!" Yusuke read.
Slowly, the village disappears, along with the laughter and a dark mountain is shown. As the mountain gets closer, a door is seen before it opens and the inside of a dark, yet interesting home is seen. Sitting on a chair, looking grumpy is Hiei, wearing a green out fit that is furry.
"I'm going to kill her…." Hiei mumbles.
"Shut up and stick to the script, shrimp." Growls Kuwabara, who is sitting 'doggy' style at the side of Hiei's chair.
"The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right…" Yusuke stops to snort in laughter.
"I can see why you picked Hiei…" Yusuke starts, but stops to find Hiei giving him a death glare, Kuwabara wearing a wide grin on his face.
Yusuke gulps and pulls at his collar.
"Geeze…" he says, starting to get a bit worried.
"It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were to tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small." Yusuke says.
"Makes sense…" mumbles Kuwabara.
Hiei rolls his eyes.
"Baka…" Hiei mumbles.
"What was that, shrimp!" Kuwabara shouts, glaring at Hiei.
"BUT," Yusuke says, not wanting this story to be longer then necessary.
"Whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,"
Hiei stands up and walks out the door with Kuwabara following on his hands and knees.
'I'm gonna kill her for this.' He thinks.
Hiei stands out on the edge of the house and looks down at the village that was full of happy anime characters that the author paid to do this story for her.
"Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown at the warm lighted windows below in their town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath." Yusuke stops and thinks about hanging a mistletoe wreath in Kuwabara's room and grins from the thought.
The author whacks him up side the head.
"Keep reading prev." she growls.
Yusuke rubs his head and glares at the author before muttering incoherent words to her, before pushing his sexy looking glasses back up to continue reading.
"Hey! It's not my line!" he shouts, realizing it's Hiei's.
"Sorry." says the author, sweat dropping.
Hiei growls.
"And they're hanging their stockings!"
"He snarled with a sneer." Yusuke says.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" growled Hiei.
"I can't believe I'm doing this…" he mumbles.
"Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming," Yusuke says.
Hiei puts his hand on Kuwabara's head and leans on him, causing Kuwabara to growl. Hiei smirks before he frowned again, drumming his fingers on Kuwabara's skull.
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!" Hiei says, finding that he's starting to like this story.
"For, tomorrow, he knew...All the Who girls and boys would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!" Yusuke said.
"That's one thing he hated!" Yusuke said, starting to get way into his character.
"The NOISE!" he shouts.
"NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!" Yusuke screams, being louder on each noise.
"I think they get it!" shouts Kuwabara, getting really annoyed of Hiei's drumming on his skull.
"Sorry if I'm trying to have fun with this." Yusuke says, sticking out his tongue at Kuwabara.
He then turned back to his script.
" Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!" Yusuke screamed again.
"The idiot's right for once, that's not necessary." Hiei said, removing his hand to cross his arms across his chest.
Kuwabara growls at Hiei.
"You can NEVER find any thing nice to say about me, can you twerp!" Kuwabara growls.
"There's nothing nice about you." Hiei states.
"You two knock it off before I fix you for good, and I'm not talking about your clocks!" the author shouts, making both men growl and shut up.
"Let's continue." Yusuke says.
"They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least! And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all! Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing! They'd sing! And they'd sing! AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!" Yusuke says, not too loud this time.
"And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing the more the Grinch thought," Yusuke says.
"I must stop this whole thing!" Hiei says, starting to walk back and forth, as if he was thinking.
Kuwabara's eyes follow him, curious as to why the little fire demon is actually doing the story.
"Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I MUST stop Christmas from coming!...But HOW?" Hiei says.
He stops and glares back down at the busy town.
"Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!" Yusuke says.
"I know just what to do!" Hiei says, a smirk coming to his face.
"The Grinch Laughed in his throat. And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat." Yusuke said.
He stopped and looked at that last line and re read it a few more times to him self before laughing.
"Hiei's gonna dress up like Santa! Hahahaha!" laughs Yusuke.
Hiei throws a rock at Yusuke, knocking him out.
"Good going genious! Now we're stuck here until Urameshi wakes up!" shouts Kuwabara.
Hiei looked at Kuwabara with out a care and hn at him.
"Don't worry, I'll finish up." sighs the author, dragging the poor unconscious boy out of the way of any more harm.
"Where was he…The Grinch laughed in his…wait…he read that line…oh here we go." The author said before clearing her throat.
"And he chuckled, and clucked," the author says.
She looks at Hiei who didn't move.
"You actually have to make the suit, you know."
Hiei glared at the author before quickly, using his speed, to make what seemed to be the perfect Santa costume.
"Dude!" Kuwabara says his eyes wide and impressed.
"You can knit!"
"Hn, no. I bought it." Hiei said.
"…well…I guess I'll let this go, but don't think you can get away with anything else!" says the author.
"Hn…What a great Grinchy trick! With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!" says Hiei.
He looks at the suit.
"I'm not wearing this."
"Yes you are." says the author.
"Why should I? I could just quit right here and now."
"If you do that, I won't give you any sweet snow…" says the author, holding up cookies and cream ice cream.
Hiei's eyes widened at the delicious treat before he snorts and puts on the suit.
Kuwabara snickers.
"All I need is a reindeer..." Hiei says, looking at Kuwabara with an evil grin.
"…maybe this story isn't half that bad…" smirks Hiei.
Kuwabara slowly backs away from Hiei.
"The Grinch looked around. But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,"
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" Hiei's smirked turned into a full evil grin.
This had caused Kuwabara to yelp and run for his life.
"OH Max!" Hiei shouts, running after the poor human.
"So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread and he tied a big horn on top of his head." The author said.
A noise of a scuffle and a few yelps were heard in the background from the direction Kuwabara ran in. Hiei dragged out a grumbling Kuwabara.
"I'm sorry Kuwa-chan! I'll make it up to you, I promise!" the author shouts.
Kuwabara just sits there with a huge ass horn tied to his head, glaring at the author, with his arms crossed. Hiei stands behind him with a look of amusement and satisfaction.
"THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks On a ramshakle sleigh And he hitched up old Max." Hiei's grin grew wider as Kuwabara pale a bit.
"I soooooo hate you right now!" growls Kuwabara as he's being hitched to a sleigh.
The author looks sad and pouts.
"I swear I will make it up to you Kuwa-chan!" she says, really sorry about what she did, now thinking she should have made Yusuke Max instead.
"Then the Grinch said,"
Hiei throws a bunch of bags on to the sleigh and jumps onto it, holding onto the reigns.
"Giddyap!"
"And the sleigh started down…" the author said, but saw Kuwabara wasn't moving.
"I ain't goin' anywhere." Kuwabara growls.
"Then you'll be like that until we finish this story." Says the author, really getting annoyed with this whole thing.
"I don't care! I ain't moving!" says a stubborn Kuwabara.
Hiei growls and pulls on the reighns.
"Don't make me mad, baka."
"I don't care! I ain't moving!" Kuwabara growls.
"Mmmm…what happened…?" groans Yusuke, waking up and rubbing his head.
The author smiled and got an idea.
The next thing Yusuke knew was he had a huge aXs horn tied to HIS head and found him self in a doggy suit and tied to a sleighd.
"What the HXell!" shouts Yusuke.
"Sorry Yusuke, but I just couldn't make Kuwa suffer anymore, so I'm making him the narorator, if you don't mind." Says the author, giving a relieved Kuwabara the script.
Yusuke blinked at the author.
"That's not fair!" he growls.
"Hn, I don't mind, now move it, detective!" growls Hiei.
"Over my dead..ah!" screams Yusuke as Hiei shot a fire ball at his ass.
"I said move it!" growled Hiei, really wanting to finish the story.
"Geeze, fine!" growls Yusuke, rubbing his butt.
"I'm glad that's not me…" mumbles Kuwabara, before clearing his throat.
"Toward the homes where the Whos Lay a-snooze in their town. All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care When he came to the first house in the square." Kuwabara read.
"This is stop number one," Hiei says, climbing out of the sleigh, leaving a panting Yusuke.
"Geeze Hiei, just cause you're a speed demon, doesn't mean I have to be!" pants Yusuke.
"Hn." Smirked Hiei before he headed for the roof.
"The old Grinchy Claus hissedAnd he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch."
Hiei looked down the chimby.
"I'm not going down there." Hiei says.
"Come on Hiei! You just gotta!" whins the author.
"Think of the sweet snow!" says Kuwabara, trying to help.
Hiei sighs, cursing his love of the snow that was sweet.
"But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue" Kuwabara said.
Hiei did get stuck and cursed, getting a laugh from Yusuke and Kuwabara before he glared at them. He then made it down the chimney and scowled at all the Christmas decorations.
"Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row."
"These stockings," Hiei said, walking out of the chimney and glaring at the stockings, which had names of anime people he never heard of.
"he grinned," said Kuwabara.
"are the first things to go!" HIei says, looking as if he was going to use a fire technique.
"Hiei stop! That's not in the script!" the author shouted.
Hiei growled, really wanting to destroy something, but decided the faster he got this stupid story over with, the faster he'd get that sweet snow.
"Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, Around the whole room, and he took every present! Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!" Kuwabara said.
"Dude…" Yusuke stated.
"They got some cool gifts! I wish I got stuff as good as that!"
"Well do you normally get for Christmas?" asks Kuwabara.
"Beer, cigarettes, cloths, hookers…" Yusuke starts, before he gets hit on the head with Kuwabara's shoe.
"What was that for!"growls Yusuke.
"The hookers, you cheater!" shouts Kuwabara.
"I was just joking! Geeze…you're such an idiot…" growls Yusuke.
"Oh shut up Urameshi!"
"Both of you bakas shut up and finish this!" Hiei shouts.
The two boys look at each other. They snorted and decided that Hiei was right.
"And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney! Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast! He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee." Kuwabara said.
Hiei used his super fast speed to clear the whole place out.
"Wow! Have you ever thought of becoming a burglar or something, cause with that speed you'd be in and out in like thirty seconds!" says Yusuke.
"No." Hiei states, just glaring at Yusuke.
"And NOW!" Hiei says.
"grinned the Grinch," Kuwabara says.
"I will stuff up the tree!" Hiei says, looking at the tree.
"How the HeXll am I going to stick that up that?" Hiei asks, pointing at the tree to the chimney.
"I don't know, improvise." The author says.
Hiei smirks and takes out his katana.
"Wait, don't improvise! Just carry it and stuff it up the chimney!" shouts the author.
Hiei sighs and looks a bit annoyed before sheathing his katana and begins to pick up the tree that was twice his size.
"And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove."
Crickets were heard.
"Kurama?" asks the author.
She looks around and finds a note.
Dear Miss. KuwaL,
I am very sorry about leaving you all in such a bind, however I just could not deal with the insanity that is with in your mind. I hope you can forgive me, but I think it would be best if I end my contract with you, permintly.
Sincerely Kurama.
The author just stares at the letter before she cries.
"He doesn't like me!"
"Hey, it's ok! He just thinks yer like too crazy for him, that's all! His loss!" Kuwabara says, trying to calm her down.
"Yeah, I mean you are nuts, but we still love you!" says Yusuke.
"Yusuke, you are still playing Max." the author says.
"DaXmn…" growls Yusuke.
"The problem is who's going to play Cindy Lou?" Kuwabara says.
"And don't say me, cause I am NOT wearing a skrit!"
"I guess I'll have to…." Sighs the author.
The author pulls out a curtain and changes into a cute little girl.
"Ok, I'm ready." She says.
"Awwwww! You're soooo cute!" squeals Kuwabara, huggling the author.
"Need…air…." Gasps the author.
"Ooops, sorry."
"Ok, let's get back to this thing, shall we?" asks the author.
Kuwabara nods and begins to read again.
"He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two. The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. She stared at the Grinch and said,"
"Santy Claus, why, Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?" asks the author in a cute two year old like voice.
"Don't be fooled, she's not really that innocent." Whispers Yusuke to the audience.
"Shut up, jack aXs!" shouts the author, throwing her shoe at him.
"Ow! What's with the throwing!" growls Yusuke, rubbing his head.
"But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!" Kuwabara said.
"Why, my sweet little tot," snorted Hiei.
"the fake Santy Claus lied," Kuwabara said.
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side, So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here." Hiei says.
"And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed." Kwuabara said.
Hiei sighed and patted the author's head and pushed her off the stage with a glass of water he used his speed to get.
The author glares at Hiei before sticking her tongue out at him. He rolls his eyes at her and goes back to stuffing the tree up the chimney, finally getting it out of the house.
"And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup, HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up! Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire."
Hiei snorted and grabbed the log and tossed it into the sleigh.
"Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar. On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire. And the one speck of food The he left in the house Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse." Kuwabara said.
"Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses! It was quarter past dawn..."
"I don't really have to go to all those houses do I?" ask HIei.
"Yup." Grins the author.
"DaXmn you! I swear when I'm out of this, I'm going to stop giving you ideas for a week!" growls Yusuke.
"You're only here for the show, honey, you don't really give me ideas." Smirks the author.
Yusuke looks at her.
"You mean…I don't help you…?"
"Nope, sorry." The author says.
Yusuke sniffs and looks like he's about to cry.
The author panics.
"NO wait, I was just kidding! You re very important!" the author cries.
"Reallly?" asks Yusuke, not believing her.
"Yup. I'm serious." The author says.
"Fine…" says Yusuke.
"Let's go, Hiei, I can't wait until this stupid story's over." Mumbles Yusuke.
"Same here, detective." Grumbles Hiei.
"All the Whos, still a-bed All the Whos, still a-snooze When he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings! The ags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings! Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit, He rode to the tiptop to dump it!" says Kuwabara.
"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" grumbled Hiei.
"he was grinch-ish-ly humming." Says Kuwabara.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO! That's a noise," said Hiei, actually grinning at this.
"grinned the Grinch," says Kuwabara.
"That I simply must hear!" Hiei says, looking down into the village.
Yusuke looks around a bit puzzled.
"DaXmn…that was fast…" he says, scratching the back of his head.
"So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow... But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry! It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!" Kuwabara said.
All of the anime characters pile out of the houses and stand around where the huge tree once stood and begin to sing 'Welcome Christmas' as they hold hands.
The Toguro brother's holding hands with each other and a few other YYH characters. The cast of Inuyasha was there, as well as Ranma ½, and even Excel Saga was there, though they didn't seem to be all there if you know what I mean. ((I do not own those three shows, so disclaimer, and also disclaimer on the song, just in case .))
"He stared down at Who-ville! The Grinch popped his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise! Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Was singing! Without any presents at all!" Kuwabara said.
Hiei blinks at all the anime people. He turns to the author.
"How much money did you pay them?" asked Hiei.
"Oh, well not all of them needed to be paid. Some of them just wanted to get away from their writers and stuff and felt like doing a crazy Christmas story." Grinned the author.
"I'll say it's crazy…" mumbles Yusuke.
The author throws her shoe at him.
"Ow!" growls Yusuke.
"Stop with the throwing!" he shouts.
"He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same! And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling:" Kuwabara says.
"How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!"Hiei says.
"I'm glad I won't have to rhyme for long…"grumbles Hiei.
"And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!" says Kuwabara.
He snorts.
"Puzzler was sore…." He says, think that funny.
"Maybe Christmas," Hiei says, actually thinking about the line he was about to say.
"he thought, " says Kuwabara.
"doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" Hiei says, his eyes widening, actually understanding that the line made some sense and that maybe it was right.
"And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day!" Kuwabara said.
Kuwabara snorted.
"Yeah, like that would ever happen to Hiei…" he grumbles.
Hiei just glares at Kuwabara.
"And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!" Kuwabara said.
Hiei smirked, looking at Yusuke, who was still tied to the sleigh.
"Oh HeXll no…" says Yusuke, as Hiei jumps back on the sleigh and the two of them crash into the two below.
"And he...HE HIMSELF...! The Grinch carved the roast beast!" Kuwabara says, giving a sigh of relief that the story was over.
(Talking to the many anime characters that came as extras for the story) Ok guys! It's done! Thank you all for coming! If you're hungry just grab some of the food from the feast and dig in!
(Turns to audience) Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this really crazy idea I got.
Hiei: Where's my sweet snow?
(Throws carton of ice cream at Hiei, who catches it)
Hiei: MINE! (Hiei runs out of the room with his ice cream)
Well, I hope I didn't scar you guys for life, but I really hope you liked this. It's my kind of humor and silliness.
Yusuke: You were basically living the nightmare we do everyday.
(Glares) Anyway, please read and review and from all of my muses and from my self.
Muses and JoannaKuwabara: MERRY CHRISTMAS!