The mention of what Gordo really intended to write in Lizzie's yearbook can be found on the tv . com website notes for this episode. I don't know how true it is that the original shooting script called for a more heartfelt confession from Gordo, but I think it's definitely something you could see Gordo wanting to write to Lizzie at this point.
A note to Quiddichseeker: I would love to reply, but you show no email address and I guess I already replied once to your review, so I can't do it again. Write to me again, and include an address. I'm always ready to discuss music!
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David Gordon stood in the middle of his kitchen, absently fingering the square box nestled deep in the pocket of his baggy pants. His mother walked into the room, noted his far off expression, and asked with a sly, knowing smile, "Davey, what are you doing?"
Gordo snapped to attention and said, "I'm just thinking about Lizzie's gift, Mom."
"You know she's going to love it, sweetheart. There's no need to be anxious."
"Oh, I'm not anxious. I'm just wondering… if I put that little gold bow on it now, it will probably get ruined, huh?"
"Why would it get ruined?" Mrs. Gordon wondered.
Sheepishly, Gordo pulled the brightly wrapped box out of his pocket.
"Davey! What are you doing with that now? Aren't you on your way to work? I thought you weren't seeing Lizzie till later today."
"I am," Gordo answered. "And I am. But I just wanted to…I don't know…"
After getting in from the Mall last night and wrapping the box in the blue sparkly snowman paper, which Lizzie had cooed over a few weeks ago as being "the most beautiful wrapping paper ever!" Gordo slept with the flat box propped up on his nightstand, so that when he woke up with his alarm clock this morning, it was the first thing he saw, and it brought a smile to his face. He knew it was completely irrational, but he felt that carrying the gift with him would help him get through the hours until he saw Lizzie again and could present her with this token of his affection.
Wisely, Mrs. Gordon only said, "Yes, dear, that cute little bow will be destroyed beyond recognition if you keep it in your pocket for six hours this morning while you bus tables. Leave it home and put it on later. Would you like a ride into the bagel shop? I don't have any patients today, I could take you."
"Thanks, Mom, but it's really nice out, and I have time. I don't mind walking."
-
The truth was that Gordo liked walking to his job at the bagel shop, because five minutes into his walk, he passed the McGuire house, and he liked to look up at Lizzie's window and think about what she must look like sleeping. He always slowed down a bit as he did this. There was a lot to be missed when traveling by car.
Walking gave him time to think, whereas driving with his Mom, she always wanted to talk. She had been doing it last night, when she took him to the Mall to buy Lizzie's present. Of course she had a good deal of knowledge about gold and rubies and all that, so he had actually appreciated her help. What he had not appreciated was the way his Mom kept saying to the clerk, "This is Gordon's Jewelers, and out last name is Gordon! Shouldn't we get a discount?" It was mildly amusing at first, but by the third time, Gordo was starting to feel embarrassed.
Afterwards, his mother insisted they visit the Hallmark store to buy the cute little bow. "The finishing touch on the perfect gift," she insisted. Before they reached the store, though, they were surprised to see Lizzie rushing across the walkway from F.Y.E. and diving into Hallmark as if her life depended on it.
At that point Gordo was grateful that his mother did not act the reasonable adult and say, "Oh, let's go in, anyway! If you run into Lizzie she doesn't have to know that you're buying the bow for her present!" Somehow Mom seemed to understand that running into Lizzie at that moment would be just too much for him to handle. Gordo knew without a doubt that should he see Lizzie while carrying this tiny bag from Gordon's Jewelers, his face would somehow give away the secret. If his expression did not reveal that they item in the bag was for her, it would at least reveal all the heartfelt consideration that went into the purchase.
So Mom bought them an Orange Julius to share, and they sat on a bench where they could see the moment Lizzie came out of the card shop, but she could not see them watching for her. When she did come out, she flew by so quickly, Gordo wondered what all the excitement could possibly be about.
Now he walked past her house in the earliest morning light and gazed up at her window, thinking about how she must look sleeping, with all her blonde hair strewn messily across her pink pillowcase.
He would see her later today. He and Miranda were meeting Lizzie at her house at one o'clock, and then they were going to the movies. They still hadn't decided if they were going to see The Two Towers or Maid in Manhattan. Gordo really did not want to see Maid in Manhattan, and Miranda wanted The Two Towers, but Lizzie was so excited about the latest chick flick Gordo wasn't sure he could possibly side against her. As the tiebreaker, Gordo felt himself in a difficult position.
Last year at this time, he would have easily gone with his first choice, but ever since Lizzie had kissed him on that rooftop in Italy last summer, he wasn't always exactly sure what he should be feeling or doing at any given moment.
Rome had really knocked him for a loop. Of course he'd had a crush on Lizzie for months before, but after she kissed him, he turned to jelly. He had never quite forgiven himself for not kissing her back, and for not saying anything more intelligent than "Thanks…" Here he was, this incredibly gifted honor student who had written and directed his own short films, was second in line for Valedictorian of their graduating class, and the best he could come up with was "Thanks…"?
As Gordo turned the corner on to the main street, he sighed, remembering that kiss and his lackluster response to it. This time of the morning, especially now that school was out for the winter break, there were few cars on the road and hardly anybody walking or biking, so the quiet landscape gave Gordo plenty of opportunity to consider his dismal career as Lizzie McGuire's chief "crusher."
He had tried several times to let her know his true feelings. At the time of the Rat Pack dance, Gordo was only beginning to recognize his deepening feelings towards Lizzie. She had looked so pretty that night in her sparkly blue dress and dangling earrings with her hair all swept up…and those long blue gloves…ooh la la! That night Gordo actually got up the courage to ask her to dance a slow dance with him. But then he spent the whole dance biting his lip and looking over her shoulder. He was so nervous he could not look her in the eye or say anything. He told himself he would do better next time.
However, next time was no better.
When Lizzie's first boyfriend, that Ronnie Jacobs, broke up with her for no really good reason, leaving Lizzie in tears, " Gordo sat with her in the library, his heart breaking for her, and he told her that there was nobody prettier or more fun to be with. She was too distraught to appreciate how bold he had forced himself to be to get out at least that much. He wanted to say more, but words failed him.
How was she ever going to find out how he felt if he could not even begin to give her the first clue?
-
Reviewing these events, Gordo sighed heartily as he pulled open the door of Bagelmania. His boss Mel greeted him from behind the counter with a hearty "Hey, Dave! Ready to work?"
Gordo gave Mel a "thumbs up." Mel was a good guy. Well, except for some slight manic-depressive tendencies, which were now under control with therapy and mild meds. But Dr. Howard Gordon had felt confident enough to allow his fourteen year old son to take a busboy job in his patient's restaurant. He wouldn't have done that if there was anything really worth worrying about.
All Gordo knew was that Mel treated him well and paid him as agreed and on time. The waitresses also shared their tips with him, so all in all this was not a bad gig. The worst part was having to wake up so early on weekends, and then coming home smelling like garlic and onion bagels.
Gordo went to the back and put on his apron. Joan came by to pour some coffee and smiled at him. "Hi there, sweetie. Did you get that present for your girlfriend last night?"
Gordo blushed. "She's not my girlfriend, Joan."
The older woman winked at him. "She will be, honey, after she sees your gift. Did you go to the jewelers? Did it all work out okay?"
Once again Gordo fingered the box in his pocket. "Yeah," he said. "So far, so good."
So far, so good. All he needed now was to not lose his nerve.
Like he had that night of the murder mystery party at Lizzie's house. Why was he thinking of that now? Oh, yeah… Ethan Craft's stepmother stood at the front counter picking out a dozen bagels. The last time Gordo had seen Ethan's stepmother had been the night of the murder mystery party. More memories flooded in.
That night, out on the front porch, Lizzie had told Gordo how impressed she was with him. Those simple words had given him enough confidence to begin to ask her out. Unfortunately, Lizzie's father appeared at the door at exactly the wrong moment. Sam McGuire! You couldn't really blame him, he was a good guy and all, but he did have a way of bungling things up, didn't he?
Gee, Gordo thought, sort of like me. Was it true that women looked for men that were exactly like their fathers? Then he ought to be a shoo-in with Lizzie. Two bunglers.
That night, after the interruption, somehow Gordo was not able to get the conversation back on track. He remained silent then until the signing of her yearbook, when he tried so hard to write what he really felt but ended up with a simple, "Dear Lizzie, you rock. Don't ever change. And only I really mean it."
Lizzie had seemed to appreciate that, and she even gave him a small kiss on the cheek, which thrilled Gordo to no end. However, he couldn't help remembering what he had really wanted to write.
That day, he had memorized every word of it, and to this day could still recall most of it: "Dear Lizzie. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember. We've shared everything together and so I feel I should finally share this with you. I really, really like you a lot and I think you're beautiful, both inside and out. I can honestly say I wouldn't be the person I am without you and your friendship. There's nothing to be afraid of if we have each other. I will always be by your side. Your friend always, and hopefully more if you want. Gordo."
These words remained in his head and in his heart, but never made it to paper. Once again, Gordo had chickened out. Later he realized that it was precisely because in the yearbook these words would be immortalized that he was not able to actually write them. Should she reject him after so blatant an invitation to be "hopefully more," the inscription would stand forever as a monument to his pathetic failure with the only girl who had ever really meant anything to him up to that point.
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Gordo spent a good amount of time in these anxious thoughts as he cleaned tables and heaved heavy buckets of dirty dishes, trying to tune out the insistent drone of holiday tunes on the piped in muzak. By the time his cell phone began to ring in his pocket and he wondered who could be calling him this early, he looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly nine! His shift was half over! That much closer to seeing Lizzie this afternoon. Then he flipped open his phone and suddenly grinned.
"Hi, Lizzie," he said, the grin evident in his voice.
"Gordo!" she exclaimed, sounding a little breathless. "Did I wake you?"
"No, I'm at work." God! He loved the sound of her voice.
"Oh, you are! That's right! I forgot you were getting extra hours over the Break. Listen, I just wanted to tell you, when you come over this afternoon, I know I said one o'clock, but do you think you can get here at twelve thirty instead?"
"Sure," he said, "what's up? Are we going to an earlier movie?"
"We haven't even chosen the movie yet, remember?" she teased. "No. This is because…because…well, I have your gift, and I want to give it to you before we head out."
"Oh, good," Gordo said, once again touching his pocket. "'Cause I have your gift too."
"Great!" Lizzie said, still sounding breathless. "So we'll exchange gifts, okay?"
"Okay," Gordo agreed. "So I'll see you later. Twelve thirty."
"Okay," Lizzie agreed. "Twelve thirty."
Gordo put his phone away and felt himself tingling inside. Lizzie wanted to see him! She wanted to give him a gift. Oh my God! He suddenly realized that in all his commotion to find the perfect gift for Lizzie, he had never even begun to ask himself what she might be getting him.
He continued to clear the tables, his mind now totally absorbed in speculation. Any chance she might have found that rare Better Than Ezra CD? Wow, that would be great. But he knew he shouldn't get his hopes up.
Boy, is that ever true! he scolded himself. With Lizzie he always got his hopes up, only to have them dashed a short time later. It was the story of his life.
After all, look what happened when they started high school earlier this year. After almost an entire summer of separation, he managed to finagle Mrs. McGuire into letting him see Lizzie for a couple of minutes before he took off for that misguided wilderness vacation with his family. He gave Lizzie a copy of The Postal Service CD, making special mention of the song that so reminded him of her and all he hoped to experience with her. "I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned…"
In his heart of hearts, Gordo hoped that if he ever got the chance to kiss Lizzie again, after her failed attempt to engage his affection on the rooftop in Rome, this time he would do it right.
But, in fact, when he got back home, after a torturous week of no phone service, school started up almost immediately, and everything was not perfectly aligned. High school was madness. He barely got to see Lizzie or Miranda at all during the day. And then, by the time he and Lizzie finally got the chance to talk, she made no mention of the CD he had given her or the song he had asked her to listen to, and once again he felt too shy to pursue the matter.
Why couldn't anything go right for him? Why did love have to be so difficult? He could perform complicated math equations in his head, he could formulate scientific hypotheses in his sleep, but he could not figure out how to tell Lizzie McGuire that his feelings for her now extended beyond the friendship they had enjoyed their entire lives. And he was also entirely clueless when if came to deciphering what her feelings towards him might be at any given moment.
But all that was going to change at twelve thirty this afternoon. He was going to give her the present. He was going to speak his mind. And then maybe…maybe…if everything was going well, he would move closer, maybe lean in, his face coming closer to hers, and …
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"Gordo!"
Gordo snapped out of his reverie. Miranda was standing in front of him.
"Miranda!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"My mom had to go into Food King for a few things. I thought I'd come by and say hi. And see if I can't implore you once again….please….please…don't side with Lizzie on the movie today."
"But I thought you wanted to see Maid in Manhattan," Gordo said with a confused look.
"I do!" Miranda confirmed. "But not until I see The Two Towers. The Two Towers is a must see, it's top priority. Everybody is going to be talking about it when we get back to school. I don't want to be left behind."
"But there's plenty of time left to the Break," Gordo reminded, still confused, as he wiped down a table. "If you don't see it today, you'll see in eventually."
"Yes, but Larry Tudgeman is seeing it today, and…"
Gordo smiled. Now at last he understood.
Miranda gave him a little slap. "Don't look at me like that!" she exclaimed, turning red.
"Okay, look," Gordo said. "I also prefer to see The Two Towers---"
"I know you do, Gordo! So don't get all goofy on me and---"
"Goofy?" he questioned.
"You know what I mean. The way you've been acting around Lizzie lately. Like when you bought her that movie for her birthday, A Walk in the Clouds ? And then you sat down and actually watched it with her, and then you hugged her."
"Lizzie told you about that?" Gordo asked in alarm.
"Of course," Miranda said, giving him a strange look. "Lizzie tells me everything. You know that."
Yes, Gordo did know that. And on several occasions he had been so tempted to confide in Miranda, question her, pick her brain. But somehow he didn't feel that would be kosher. This was between him and Lizzie. He knew he had to work this out on his own.
"Dave, honey!" Angie called from Table 12. "Would you come and wipe this down? I got customers waiting."
Gordo began to walk over to Table 12, and Miranda followed. "So anyway," she said, "which movie are you going to choose?"
"I don't know," Gordo answered. "And I can't think of it now, Miranda. I've got to work. I'll see you later, this afternoon, twelve thirty."
"No, one o'clock," Miranda corrected.
"No, twelve thirty."
"No," Miranda insisted. "I'm sure it's one o'clock."
"Didn't Lizzie call you?"
"Yeah, yesterday. She said one o'clock."
Angie said, "Thanks, sweetie," to Gordo and the customers sat down.
As Gordo began to walk away, Miranda followed. In a moment, Gordo turned to Miranda and clarified, "So she didn't call you thing morning to say twelve thirty instead? You know, to exchange gifts?"
"No," Miranda said. "Why? Did she call you?"
Gordo said nothing, but Miranda grinned. "Oh, she did, did she?"
Gordo tried to keep himself from blushing. He looked across at Miranda and demanded, "Why are you smiling at me like that?"
"No reason…"
"Miranda, do you know what Lizzie got me for Christmas?"
"Lizzie didn't get you anything for Christmas, Gordo. You're Jewish. Remember?"
"You know what I mean. Do you know what she got me?"
"I don't know anything," Miranda said, holding up her hands and walking away.
What a time for Miranda to suddenly begin observing The Cone of Silence!
"Miranda…" he tried.
"Well, what did you get her?" Miranda wondered.
"I'm not going to tell you!" Gordo scowled. "It's a surprise."
"Well, I guess I'll just have to be surprised then," Miranda grinned, teasing, "when I get to Lizzie's house… at one o'clock. Not at twelve thirty, like the privledged few. See you later, Gordo!"
Miranda left, and Gordo continued cleaning tables, a strange feeling building up inside him. So then. Lizzie had not told Miranda to come early. This was not going to be a threeway gift exchange. Lizzie really did want to see him. Just him. By himself.
He looked at the clock. 10:50! He was never going to make it through till noon! And not only that, but he suddenly realized he was going to need some extra time to get ready.
Originally he had planned to stop at Lizzie's house on his walk home. Lizzie had said twelve thirty, but if he came directly from work, he would reach her house by twelve twenty. If Miranda was late as usual, he and Lizzie would have ten minutes or more to exchange their gifts alone.
Now he realized Miranda would be not be there till one at the earliest. More importantly, he realized that Lizzie had never intended for Miranda to participate at all.
She wants to see me alone…
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So many
thoughts ran through Gordo's mind, chief among them that under
these circumstances, he could not stop at Lizzie's house directly
after work, smelling like onion and garlic bagels and looking like
someone who had been dealing with dirty dishes for the last six
hours. He needed to go home first and take a shower.
As soon as
he had a moment, Gordo found Mel and asked if he could leave early
today. Mel looked around the restaurant, which was still relatively
busy for a Tuesday morning, and said, "Well…"
"Well, nothing!" answered Joan, who had heard her young co-workers request while setting up a fresh pot of decaf behind the counter. "Come on, Mel! Were you never a teenager? He's going to see his girlfriend! He's going to give her her Christmas gift! Don't stand in the way of true love!"
This argument alone may not have been enough to convince Mel, but the moment he looked at Gordo, blushing more deeply than he had ever thought the boy was capable, his mind was made up.
"Go," he said. "We'll cover for you."
"Thanks, Mel!" Gordo grinned, ripping off his apron.
After that, he flew home in record time, greeting the mailman at the curb with a big "Happy Holidays!" The mailman handed him a pile of cards, bills and advertisements, which he carried into the house and dropped on the dining room table. Hey! Coupons for Outback Steakhouse. He loved that place, especially that Bloomin' Onion---
Onions! He sniffed himself and ran upstairs, finding his way quickly into the bathroom, where he scrubbed away the morning, singing "Jingle Bell Rock" at the top of his lungs and very badly out of tune.
His mother came down the hallway, heard him, and smiled to herself.
Now came the "personal grooming," something to which he generally gave only the most mandatory attention, but today he was consumed with the desire to do it right. He applied deodorant, brushed his teeth with this new cinnamon flavored toothpaste, combed his unruly hair, then applied deodorant again. Digging under the sink, he found a bottle of cologne his aunt had given him on his birthday, and tried a spritz. It was actually not too bad. At least it didn't smell like onion bagels.
Then he got dressed, everything fresh, nothing wrinkled. Lizzie had told him once that she thought he looked good in green, so he chose his long sleeved green shirt with clean blue jeans. He looked in the mirror, messed around with his hair one more time, then smiled at himself. Not too shabby. And then, just to be sure, he took another spin with the toothbrush, deciding the cinnamon toothpaste was pretty good.
Bounding down the stairs, he called, "Mom! I'm going to Lizzie's!"
"That's nice, dear. Did you remember the little golden bow?"
Gordo stopped with his hand on the front doorknob. "Uh…yeah!" Well, he was remembering it now.
Crap! he thought, chastising himself for being so absentminded. He ran up the stairs, pulled the gift wrapped box out of his work pants which were crumpled on the floor, and searched the room for the bow, finding it on top of his television. He affixed the bow, caught his breath, and forced himself to slow down as he once again began his journey to Lizzie's house.
Gordo had been going back and forth between his house and Lizzie's for longer than he could remember. This trek was so familiar…and yet, today, all brand new. It seemed logical that he should feel acutely aware of every sight, every sound, every sensation, on a day as special as this, but in fact, after looking at his watch and noting that he was going to be at least ten minutes early, he could think of nothing except that brightly colored holiday advertisement. Order two entrees and get a free Bloomin' Onion. His stomach growled. He hadn't eaten anything today except a serving of hash browns shortly after eight o'clock this morning. He was hungry.
But at the moment there were so many more important things in life than hunger. "I'm not going to chicken out this time," he said out loud as he made his way up Lizzie's front path. "Do or die, Gordon, the time has come. No backing out. Don't be an idiot! Do it, just do it!"
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Will he do it? What will he say? Is there a Christmas Kiss in their future? Stay tuned!