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Red over Lunar
Chapter i…bold fireflies
"Firefly,
that is what you are."
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disclaimers: if I owned sm/gw, does anybody think I'll still be writing fics? Oh…all right, I would still be but, sm/gw does not belong to me. They belong to their rightful owners, whom I'm not sure of…^^;;
Notes:
I'm going over ROL and revising chapters to better suit myself. Format, structure and development are being changed.
-italics and bold emphasizes
-these ----- separate and show time frames
-'…' are thoughts
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The gates are closed and the crowds are gone. There are whispers from among the bushes, wailing across the flights of stone steps. The moon is silent with black hushes from the night sky and we sit cross-legged behind a dying bond fire. The fire struggled to breathe, to prevail over the crisp ashes of branches and logs but it was no use. I watched her move swiftly, a hand over the flames, dropping in sentiments. Another flicker of her wrist and the flames rose beyond my height. She is a mysterious woman. I wish I had known her better, beyond the charades of protecting. She caught my eyes in a side-glance and smiled with an eerie gloom.
She is such a mystery; but the others are too:
She was the one that had gathered us, picking up the telephone and in a sweet tone of lullabies, asked all of us to spend the night and keep each other company. I knew we couldn't resist; it had been years born onto years of isolation from the pact of the sisters in arms. So I showed up first near the eve of the day, stalling by the gates, weary of seeing her again. Weary of meeting the sisters I left behind when I took off on adventure to Europe. She had stayed bounded by her grandfather's wishes. The others? Traveling as well. We had all left, traveling away from Tokyo until the teenage years of friendship wavered into oceans of meaningless foams; and she was left standing alone in the shadows of her dissipating family.
I stalled until I knew time was not running slowly. That was when I heard the footsteps of the others. When I turned around, I saw them, mature with years of trying to discover an identity. I knew they were unsuccessful as I was too. Their eyes were old and the glint of teenage rebellion and life was gone. "Mina. Makoto." That was all it took. We stood at the steps staring uncertainly until Mina smiled and rushed forward, dragging my frame within her embrace. We hugged in silence and Makoto soon joined in. We held each other for a while until another voice broke through. "Well…what about me?" It was the raven-haired girl. She had smiled at our shock expressions and held her arms out. She looked so thin and frail, as if she had been very sick and was trying to slowly recover. We had held onto each other until we could no longer.
And we here now, sitting among each other in silent patience, talking to our inner voices.
"Ne, Ami, how was Germany?" I looked up it was Rei speaking solemnly. Although her voice was directed to my direction, her eyes were still on the flames dancing almost as if in her palm. "I only heard of how you met a wonderful young man…but if you like, you could tell us about your wonderful young man, as well." Her eyes drew to me in a side-glance and she smiled. I blushed.
"Rei, how can you say that? Our Ami-chan is blushing! Nevertheless, Ami, I really do want to know…was he a good kisser? Was he good in bed and out of bed?"
"Mina!" I was blushing. I was burning!
"What? I was just wondering you know and I wasn't talking about that if you were thinking it." Mina's blue eyes glared at me but they were shinning mischievously. She had on her innocent look. I know that look I know those eyes. She twisted her long hair in her hand and then let it go to sprout into straight ends of single strands. "And you probably did it…but you just don't want us to know, right Ami? It's ok. We can keep secrets." She nudged me. My face felt one hundred shades warmer.
"You guys…!"
"Ami is as red as a tomato!" Makoto laughed and punched me playfully. I winced. I forgot how strong she was for such a gentle giant.
"Calm down, guys! Do tell us about Germany though, Ami. I'm curious. Since all of you left boring Tokyo and me behind. I want to catch up on your adventures."
"Yeah," Makoto said, brushing her long bangs back. "I'm also curious about what happened in Tokyo during our absence. " She shot a meaningful glance at Rei.
"I'll tell you guys after your stories."
"Alright! Let's do story telling all night tonight."
Mina flashed me a Sailor V smile. I smiled back, touching my hot face. You guys…thank you for trying.
Thank you for waiting, as friends should, as sisters do when no one else is staying.
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Usagi walked through the dark streets of Tokyo, stopping only when she came to her designated area, drawing in deep breaths of the cold city air. She rubbed her temples, placing the image in her mind, placing all the events she had left. She smiled and took a step toward the gates that were locked. Her smile turned into a frown and she strained her ear, listening until she was sure. They were all there, talking. Without her. She gingerly turned around and walked away, her head hanging in cold…anger
All the better to get revenge, she thought sweetly. Her blue eyes squinted and she made out the dark shape amidst the shadows.
"Mamoru." He stepped out with his arms outstretched. She ran into his arms and hugged him tightly. He held her petite frame just as well. "You…still smell of red roses." She smiled and caressed his face, taking in every inch.
"Usagi…I've missed you. So much." He leaned down and kissed her, tasting every crook of her mouth, drawing in her tongue and tangling it with it. They finally pulled apart later when they felt the aching for fresh air. He wrapped an arm around her waist and they walked on through the streets of Tokyo, towering shadows of a plague of innocent love, or so it seemed.
Tomorrow, Usagi would get what she wanted and have everything she needed. Her smile broadened and she snuggled deeper into his arms.
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We talked and told stories as we promised and we heard everything. Mina went back to England to ignite her career in acting but she didn't act, she modeled instead, traveling from one country to another within a week. Of all the exotic places she had been…I kind of envy her. Ami went to Germany and worked on becoming a doctor. She did get her degrees but I guess from her words, she wasn't satisfied. It seemed like everyone was missing something. Rei had stayed in Tokyo. Her grandfather died a couple of months after all of our departures but she never spoke of such in any of her short letters to us. She always keeps everything in secrets, never telling unless it is necessary and vital. That will always be Rei. She stayed and finished her training as a priestess and eventually took on students to teach karate and ancient studies to.
And the last, our leader that wasn't our leader but was our Princess. Much higher than a leader, more authority than our leader could ever hold: Usagi. Where did she go? Rei said nothing, that she heard nothing. I didn't expect much…Usagi had drifted far from us. She had her love; she had her future planned blissfully for her, living the fairytale life that all mother told to their children.
We tried looking for that fairytale when we had left. Although the others don't voice it, I know it. I can feel it within our bonds. After all, we are not sisters in arms for nothing. When I left, I had a yearning to find another purpose in life. I didn't want to face the…the fact that I was to protect Usagi forever. I didn't want to face the fact that I would never feel another kind of love, save for the love each of us had between each other. I tried searching, tried looking for an identity that could have made me smile and be happier but it never happened. I only returned here, to stroll the streets of Tokyo, to understand that love from a man to a woman was a private emotion to all of us; that it was a thing no senshi could try to experience because it would never come
Senshi are meant to be alone. Senshi are alone.
That such a desire would only result in lines of heartbreak. Now I know why so many broke my heart.
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We're still sitting here, all through the night, talking like we're still 14. I close my eyes and try to remember the idiocy we cooped back then but it's hard to remember. It seems too long to remember yet it was so short. I guess that was just the way life drifted.
But when I had left for Europe, and had roamed around Europe in glamour, I couldn't forget what I had tried to leave behind. It was true, the only reason I had a yearning was because I wanted to escape the romanticism passed from Usagi to Mamoru and from Mamoru to Usagi. Their love was definitely strong, so strong that even as the goddess of love, I couldn't handle it. How could I when I've never felt love but just tasted the tiny bits of crumbs and wrinkles of crushes?
I had loved Europe…because I had met him there. I met him when I collapsed on the streets, almost being overrun by the fast paced cars. He saved me, pulled me from the streets to safety, a brief solid feeling in his arms. My legs had been scarred, bleeding in torn pieces. He offered to take me to my place but since his place was closer, I went with him, unafraid of what kind of person he was. I didn't care, the pain too immense. He cleaned my wounds, wrapped them up, and tapped my forehead, taunting me to be more careful next time. I thanked him profusely, embarrassed at my stupidity. I left a little bit later after he took me on a tour of his house, displaying his paintings of beautiful girls who were always smiling and images that he told me were ghosts, seducing him into dreams. The paintings of the ghosts were so abstract. He told me people did not understand them unless he explained it to them. However, when I saw them, I knew every meaning that he had painted in them with their intricate fingers and eyes and lips. He was a wonderful artist and I immediately fell for it. "You are the first to see that," he pointed out often, smiling. He was an odd man but handsome nonetheless. His hair was silver with a thick wave to it, glistening under a moon and almost dying in the sun. His eyes were a bit cold but they seemed ever growing from a shade of gray to hazel to ice blue. I loved it and endlessly, I wondered how it would have felt to feel his lips or to lace my fingers through his hair. I met him repeatedly and one day he got the idea and smiled. He leaned over to kiss me and let me weave my fingers into his hair. We met more and more, one night dancing under the moonlight to making love in his studio. He was beautiful in every sense.
"You have such beautiful eyes…you should never close them, even when you sleep."
We ran, we laughed and we enjoyed each other so much that I even had the silly notion to think he would ask my hand in marriage. I dreamed that scene over and over that, it became even more delicate each time.
Nevertheless, one day was all it took to make me cry.
"Mina, I can't love someone like you and you can't love someone like me. If we were made for each other, then it was another lifetime ago. I know you won't stay with me."
He disappeared after that as if he was never alive, as if I never meant anything. Despite what he said, he meant something to me. It felt as if he had ripped my heart open and let it bleed, bleed until it was dry and could cry no more. When I went to his studio on my last day in London, he had taken everything and there was nothing left to show of his existence except a painting he had left behind. He knew.
"Venus" was all that was written on the painting. It was eyes…my eyes that he had painted. He detailed it to look almost as if it was alive, a different angle, a different emotion reflecting. I loved it but it made me cry. I cried so much because I realized his words.
The senshi were created to fight, to kill and to defend at the cost of whatever-even their life. He had been right when he said I wouldn't stay with him. My heart belonged to duty…under the spell of love. Not to him.
Not to Kunzite.
He was right to leave me. I would have given him no happiness and his eyes would eventually close before mine. His breath would have drawn hazard and I would still breathe not a day old but a thousand years young. If we were made for each other, then it was another lifetime ago.
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Fireflies…coming from the bushes…
I remember catching fireflies with broken nets. I remember falling into a stream, wet with childish glee but that was all a while ago, a lifetime ago. There was a boy that had led me, his name was Jadeite but I called him Jade. He had been my very "bestest" friend and had taken me on an adventure to see how beautiful the earth really was. I had doubted him but he didn't seem one bit heartbroken so we went and caught fireflies.
I remember how we had buckets full of fireflies and how we carried it laughing, holding each others hands to a cave where he had set up nets. They would help keep the fireflies from leaving, he told me. We poured them out of the buckets and they flew to the air, dancing around until our completely black surrounding was bright with light. I had been so delighted; I decided I would never doubt him again.
"But, Jade! They're…growing dim! They're gonna die!"
"I know. Fireflies have a very short life, Rei-chan. See, they don't live too long but they do live long enough to give life."
He had been my "bestest" friend but that was all during the Silver Millennium. It's just a memory now that comes back to haunt me whenever I'm feeling sad or depress. I do really think it is him, Jade…my bestest friend although he has been dead for a thousand years. He's coming back in fragments of memories, trying to comfort me and make me happy like he promised he would do. I never doubted him. He will always be my bestest friend because only the bestest comes back…
During the absence of the others I had been severely depressed, especially after grandpa died and I began to think of suicide, all the wonderful things it would bring. I even took a razor and began slitting my wrists; watching the blood flow out in droplets, watching it soak my skin. It awed me at first and I did it more and more until it fed me to stay alive. I barely ate but I didn't care because I was strong enough to wake up each morning…hungry to watch myself bleed. I wanted to test if I was still alive each morning. It was here when he came, unfolding onto me in a dream. He was a little boy and I was a little girl.
He took my hand and led me to the meadows of fireflies. He took my hand and we talked about life. And whenever he came back, we would still do the same things over and over but each time, he looked a bit different as I also did.
When he would leave, each time he would tell me that I will always be his bestest friend…and that he loved me.
He would disappear and tell me…"Be strong, Rei-chan! Be strong!"
If he hadn't come back to me in dreams…I don't think I would have survived that time. I would have kept on starving myself and cutting myself.
I miss him so much now though because I can only see him through dreams and it's so real that I can almost believe he's alive and breathing.
The senshi don't know of him though; they don't know of the past but its better to keep it this way. I don't want them to be sadder than they already are, remembering how they all had loved and lost because of duty. We all have love and lost…except for the princess… The princess…she would always get what she wanted and all of her cravings will be heightened tomorrow… I must tell them now.
It might be our only chance. Thank you, Jade. I love you too...
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"You guys…I hate to be the bearer of bad news," Rei said as she aroused their attentions. Everyone looked at her gravely. Apparently, they had all been engrossed in their own thoughts. "But, I didn't call this meeting to bring us back, although it was a part of it." She smiled at them in her usual cool demeanor.
"What is it Rei?" Makoto asked gravely as she looked at her friend seriously. She must take on her role.
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"Ne…Rei…are you afraid to…die?"
"Why are you asking me that? You are going to be the first to step against the Princess, anyway."
"You're right. But I can't help it. I am supposed to be the leader…what am I, leading you guys to death?"
"Mina, it's because you're our leader that however you command us, we will follow you. Duty before self; the lesson we've been taught ever since the birth of the Silver Millennium."
"Ah…you're right."
"And even if you afraid, Mina, don't be. We're behind you."
"Yeh, senshi must stick together because they've got no one else."
Makoto offered a smile and a hand. Mina took it and embraced her tall friend, trying to get a feel of reality before she lost it. Was death that frightening? She pulled from Makoto and stared aimlessly at the gray skies. They would all get to taste the seduction of death. How would it feel like to die like a mortal? Dying and knowing there was no chance you were coming back to finish the half-walked path you've begun. She shrank back. There was no use thinking this way because there was no place for such a thinker. This encounter would be inevitable and she would have to face the Princess with her senshi behind her.
That was the leader's fate. Her fate.
Ami placed a shoulder on Mina's shoulder and smiled. "You don't have to worry alone just because you are our Leader."
"I know but I can't help wondering"
"We should leave the worrying to Rei and keep it at that, ne?"
"Yes, yes!" She hooked arms with her sisters-in-arms and they walked, walked wherever someone pulled them, already knowing what was the last sentence written on the stones.
Can we really escape her? She asked to no one but herself knowing the question was also dancing on the minds of her sisters.
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What she is doing, I know is wrong but I won't try to stop her, if it is something she truly wants and needs. If it is her hearts desire, who am I to deny her of it?
I look to her and she is busy, her own eyes shimmering with the wisdom I could have only found years ago in the eyes of the Queen and a princess that came to me in dreams, always looking so sad. Her eyes hold so much more than naivety now, there is also more, a passion that burns to rival that of the flames of Mars. She has truly changed into a woman, into the mature Queen that would eventually take the throne to the world and hold a child...and ask no more of senshi because she feels she does not need them.
So...she must eliminate them.
I can't stop you, you know that Usagi but if this is what you want then my love, I will only stand by your side.
"Usa-ko?"
"Hmm?"
"They're coming closer, aren't they?"
"Yes. It seems almost like they know."
"Why are they coming so close, then? Would your senshi take arms against you?"
"They wouldn't dare."
"Usa-ko...I hope that this is what you really want...even if it hurts those closes to you."
"Endymion, my prince, I don't act unreasonably."
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"My Princess," Minako bowed down lowly. The others stood behind her in formation, a strong stature that had could only belong to the powerful inner senshi. She had to smile; these were her senshi, after all and she was damn proud to show them off but eventually, like everything, all good things turned ugly and became unneeded and thus became an unspoken burden. So much that even a princess such as herself didn't need to waste energy on.
"Mina...why do you lead your senshi unarmed?"
"We can't take up arms against our Princess...even if she has betrayed her own court."
"Betrayed? No. No, that is such a harsh word."
"No, Princess, I don't think so at all," Makoto spoke through clenched teeth, her thick solemn stature towering over the princess but it was only her shadow that reached to kiss the feet of the princess.
"So bitter, Makoto...Wait, no, not bitter, just heartbroken, right?" Her blue eyes glanced at the girl who had taken a step back. Makoto's emerald eyes were downcast by the endearing statement. Even as different as she had became, Makoto had to give her credit for knowing the auras of her senshi so well. Aye, that was why she would always be princess and they...senshi.
"You've grown, Usagi," Ami spoke up next, forgetting to fire up the topic at hand and twisting it. "And you seem content"
"In short, what is it that you want, Princess?" Rei finished, cutting Ami from stalling to come up with the right words. Her violet eyes hinted no impatience or patience, but seemed to be merely waiting. Usagi's lips curled into a frown and she turned her back on them. The senshi looked at their future queen...how her features had become even more delicate, more silver and attuned to the deceased queen that had given them what destiny they carried now. Rei didn't stop herself from smiling. Usagi would be queen.
"The fire told you, huh, Rei? Like it always told you everything?"
"No. You left for five years without a destination to tell us and all of a sudden you appear out of nowhere. If you don't consider that odd...then we are not senshi."
"You caught on," Usagi said as she faced them. They watched her eyes, careful to not question the gun within her hands. "No wonder you are the inner senshi," she said as she successfully loaded the gun. There was a click, echoing in the empty alley. "Don't worry," she said. "I've put up a barrier so the outside world has no idea of what is going to happen."
"I see...I guess you are finally going to finish what you started when you left?" Mina raised an eyebrow in her princess' direction. Usagi lifted the gun and aimed it. She pulled the trigger and the shot ran out. The bullet pierced through the brick wall, chipping away its ashy barriers.
"You guess? I guess so too, then." She aimed again and pulled the trigger, this time the bullet missed Mina's head by a single centimeter and passed through Makoto by an inch. "Damn...maybe I should have taken target practices? Either way...it ends today. I'm sorry if I break your hearts." She pointed the gun, this time directly in Mina's direction...only Mina made no motion to move.
Senshi were immortal...but that didn't mean they couldn't die. They could live, live as long as they please and die, only die when they were killed. So their lifetime is an indefinite span but ends when it ends.
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Rei was the last one standing, witnessing all of her comrade's murder. She stood silently still and her features made her all the more dangerous. Usagi couldn't place the thought out of her head; that maybe Rei would subject her sentencing. After all, Rei was the most dangerous and lethal. Who knew what crawled under her skin? And when she was ticked...she was the act of evil.
Usagi pointed the gun at Rei and pulled the trigger but no shots rang out. Her lips curled into a frown as she examined her gun. Her bullets had run out. She watched Rei gingerly as the girl kept her eyes locked on the ground, where there were droplets of blood. Quickly she reloaded her gun. In seconds, more shots ran out but the girl didn't fall from her standing point. Rei touched her wounds but there was no blood. Ami had said you would only bleed from where the bullet exited. That meant her back and explained the cold feeling of liquid running through her skin, crawling like insects. Rei finally collapsed to her feet, breathing hard. She was only suffering but not enough to die. Usagi pulled the trigger several more times until all her round of bullets ran out and she tossed the gun in anger. Rei had crawled up against the brick wall, clutching her chest as she struggled to breathe and to find a motion of equilibrium in her unsettled vision.
"Why don't you make this easier on yourself and just let go, Rei? Just let go...you don't need to prove to anyone that you are strong." Usagi lowered her face to meet that of her second in command. Rei's lips curled into a smile and she dug her fingernail into her wound, digging through her own flesh and blood. She emerged, reaching for Usagi's face and caressed it with her bloody finger. The blood was smeared dirtily across her snow white face. Usagi coiled immediately, startled by her actions. Usagi didn't resist the urge to wipe away the ashy red of blood.
"Usagi...Ne...We forgive you...Mina couldn't say it but I will...duty...duty and duty all over again, is that our only meaning?" Her dark violet eyes clouded over with an unknown fog and she looked down, her thick lashes standing against her pale face. "I'm sorry Princess...but you know we forgive, because we owe you everything...please...don't come too soon...when you do..."
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Usagi watched the wind blow the long tresses of the fire maiden as if playing with it, mocking her to wake up. Her eyes turned their attention to the others. Mina...Venus, even when she was dead, was just as beautiful. She had fallen with one hand clasped over her heart and a sad, empty smile. Makoto...the giant Jupiter. Did she really seem that happy? Happy when she watched the bullet burrow through her organs? She did and she had fallen, smiling with tears streaming down her face. Ami was so quiet that she had almost forgotten the defensive ice senshi. Either way the ice maiden still fell, her eyes closed before she slumped to the ground.
Usagi turned away from the sight. It was blood curling, reminding her of the massacres that took place on the moon in the past. Yet her heart had craved for this and as Venus couldn't have said, the senshi's downfall was their last servitude. Usagi had smile at that. Last servitude, was very unlikely. Did they not know? Either way...she was going to get what she wanted- what she needed and her senshi dying was a part of that; they were doing their queen what they had been born to do.
She turned around again. First things first, she needed to get rid of the bodies and erase some identities from history then she would get what she had been seeking to do.
Gather the pens and you will be more than you will ever be with your naïve thesis.
You didn't know it but your mother hid something from you; from the very beginning of the Silver Millennium, the crystal was placed as the highest value and most powerful all because it drew more than half of it's powers from all nine planets. This enhanced the crystal and made it originally stronger than it was intended to be. However if you can direct all of the nine planets' powers from the pens, towards your crystal, my dear, you've will be more than invincible.
You won't have to die...ever or watch the one you love die because you couldn't protect them.
But at least you know why you had to watch everyone die before you could defeat me. Me, the true Queen of Earth.
Beryl, the name ringing in her mind-
"What the" She cut herself short of words as she rushed forward. "This! This can't be!" She searched restlessly the empty alley, but found no traces of any of the senshi. "They were dead! I felt it...They were dead! Where the hell can they be?" she screamed as she dug her nails into the alley, searching for the holes that had swallowed the bodies. She needed those pens...she needed their power! That was all this had been about! If they didn't die, there was no chance of her ever getting that strong. "This can't be! How can they cheat me like that? Damn!" She slammed her fists on the ground and burst into tears.
A black cape wrapped itself around her shaking form, protecting her and then the alley was dark again with no signs of death...or destruction. It was just as empty as it had been but it held a secret. A secret that only two people knew.
"Endymion...they cheated me! They...they..." she sobbed as she was carried with love, a feeling she had always knew...a feeling she never thought would be foreign to the inners.
"Sshh..."
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'God of Mercury...can you hear me?'
'God of Mars...how silent have we become?'
'God of Jupiter...how weak your warrior has become...'
'Great Goddess of Venus...must a goddess of love not know love...ever?'
"Just once...couldn't you give us a chance? A chance away from all of this? We're so tired, tired of protecting your names against the throne of Selenity. So tired of living..."
"Just once...just once I want to know...what it is like to...to have another smile"
"...know what it is like to chase after destiny"
"Know what life is really about"
"Know that everyone deserves happiness. Know that we don't have to protect someone else's happiness forever."
The end of the first statements...
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/A.N/ Again this is just revised and reformatted! Review please!