Chapter 3: Withdrawals

Reeve kept his head bowed, sliding his hat forward as he walked quietly through the streets. He tried to stay home as often as possible, but some things called for him to leave the comfort and safety of his small shack.

He shifted the bag of food in his arms as he continued to walk. He had fled Midgar long ago. Scared of what Shinra would do if they were to find him, he took refuge in the grassy plains just east of Rocket Town. Now, over a year later, he was not only hiding from anyone still associated with Shinra who would deem him a traitor, but also to ordinary people, who might recognize him and deem him an "evil Shinra employee".  He didn't even need a hand to count his friends on. He didn't have any.

In his small shack he was secluded enough to feel reasonably safe, but close enough to a town to get food and supplies. He kept a low profile, and had changed his looks as well as he could. He kept himself scruffy and had let his hair become a shaggy mop on his head. His present clothes were a far cry from the crisp blue suit he had been so used to; most of his pants were ill-fitting and frayed at the bottom, and his shirts were thin, baggy, button down tops. He looked like a poor, small-time farmer, and that worked for him just fine.

But all in all, he wasn't too distraught at his new life. It was a hard switch at first, and it took him a few months to adjust. But he never woke up wide-eyed, realizing he had hit his snooze button far too many times, never had to stay late at an office drawing up plans, never had to file a report…it really wasn't that bad of a life. Just a bit lonely at times.

…

Cloud woke up and looked around the room. He looked at the large sword carefully placed in the corner of his room, the dresser which had an assortment of armlets and armor, the drawer of materia he had locked up tight…

All of the sudden, he sat up in bed and reached around to the cupboards in his headboard. He relaxed visibly when his fingers touched the smooth, round object – the only piece of materia not locked up. He kept this one close to him at all times.

He lay back down and sighed as he rolled the materia though his fingers. "Help me, Aeris…I'm no leader. Half the time I don't even know who I am."

He waited a bit, as if she would answer. "This hasn't gotten any easier for me. I would give everything I own just to hug you once…"

A knock at the door pulled him from his prayer-like thoughts. He set the materia back down and pulled on a pair of pants as fast as he could. "Just a minute," he muttered as he struggled a bit.

He opened the door to see Tifa. "Cloud? Are you okay? Everyone else is awake and has already finished breakfast."

Cloud scratched his head as he looked at the floor. "Man…what time is it?"

"It's almost ten o'clock," answered Tifa. "You're not getting sick, are you?"

"No…just have a lot on my mind."

"Are you hungry? I'll make you breakfast. Or brunch. Or whatever you feel like." She stared up at him, innocently wide-eyed.

"Nah, I'll be alright until later. I'll be down in a few," he said, closing the door slightly to give her the hint.

She nodded. "Alright, Cloud," she said quietly before she turned to walk back down the hall.

Cloud closed the door and finished getting dressed, finally snapping the Holy material into his armlet as he did everyday.

…

Tifa walked down the hallway, and paused at the top of the stairs. Instead of going down, she went to her room and shut the door.

She flopped on her bed and hugged her pillow close. She had accepted the fact that would never be anything more to Cloud than a friend, but it bothered her that he was still grieving over Aeris. As much as she missed the flower girl herself, she didn't carry on conversations with her.

She wanted to talk to someone, if only to lift the nagging thoughts from her chest. Vincent was good too talk to, but she didn't dare put any more weight on his shoulders, she knew he was stressed enough as it was. Nanaki might work. She went downstairs to see if he was busy.

She found him sprawled next to the fireplace, reading though the journal. She was just about to turn around and leave him alone when he looked up. "Yes?"

"Sorry, Red. I'll catch you when you're not busy."

"Actually, I'm almost done reading," he said as he flipped the book shut with a paw. "What can I help you with?"

All at once, Tifa felt almost embarrassed. "I, uh…you want to go outside with me for a few minutes?"

Red looked a little confused but got up and flowed Tifa though the back door. She sat on the porch swing, and motioned for him to climb up as well. He jumped up, causing the hanging bench to swing wildly for a few seconds.

"Are you alright, Tifa?" asked Red.

"I'm okay, I just really needed to talk to someone," she answered softly.

"I'm all ears," Red answered as he twitched his furry ears a few times. Tifa smiled.

"Do you believe in fate?" she asked suddenly, throwing Red off for a few seconds.

"Hmm…by fate you mean an external force that determines the future?"

"…Yeah."

He took a deep breath as he thought. "There are external forces at work all around us, the lifestream, gravity, the momentum that keeps the planet spinning…sometimes I think it wouldn't be that hard to believe in one more."

"But you don't?"

"Some things happen for a reason, I know that much. Whether or not you want to attribute that to fate, it is still true. But the human will is one of the strongest forces on the planet. I believe even 'fate' would have a hard time controlling the sheer will of someone fiercely determined."

Tifa patted the fur on Red's head. "When Cloud fell after that second reactor bombing…he could have landed anywhere. But he landed in a church and met Aeris. If that hadn't happened, I don't think we'd be here right now…"

Red was slowly catching on. "What did you really want to talk about, Tifa?"

She leaned her head back on the bench and closed her eyes. "I hear Cloud talking to himself all the time. At least I thought he was talking to himself up until a few months ago. He talks to Aeris. As if she's still here. Once I got to know her, I loved her too, but…I moved on. So did everyone else."

"And where does fate play into this?"

She sighed. "I sometimes think fate brought Aeris and Cloud together. And that's fine. I can accept that. But if that's what happened, then why did it take her away? It's like fate just screws him over every chance it gets. I just…I want to see him happy."

Red sat up on his hind legs and looked Tifa straight in the eye. "Forgive me if I say anything too bold," he said. "I know you still have strong feelings for Cloud, and that all you want is to make him happy. But, Tifa, you can't fix everything for him. He'll find his path someday. In the meantime, don't forget that you need to be happy as well."

"Thanks, Red. I appreciate that," she said softly. Red gave her a quick nuzzle under her chin before he hopped off the bench. He didn't like getting too lovey with people, but he swallowed his pride in this instance.

…

The three Turks walked up the grassy incline, heading towards Niblehiem. Gone were the dark blue suits, replaced with casual attire. Nevertheless, the three were quite a team and still drew attention when they went out together. Those that knew who they were afraid to say anything, while those that didn't were just as afraid.

"Ah, the Shinra mansion. I remember hearing lots of storied 'bout this place," commented Reno as they got closer.

No one was quite sure what to say to that, and continued the rest of the trip in silence.

They reached the house where Avalanche was staying and stopped at the front door.

"Alright. I'll do the talking, and you two look intimidating," instructed Reno.

Elena sighed and was ready to snap back when she felt Rude tug at her sleeve. He made a sort of 'just let him do it the way he wants to' hand wave in front of him. She sighed and stood quietly as Reno knocked on the door.

After a few seconds, a short, dark head girl opened the door. Her eyes widened as she realized who she was looking at.

"Geez, relax, will ya?" asked Reno. "If you remember, the last time we met, we were on reasonably peaceful terms."

"You guys are trouble any way you cut it." She said curtly as she tired to slam the door shut. Reno caught it with his foot and looked straight into her eyes. "I am not in the mood for playing games."


All the commotion caused Vincent, Cid and Barret who were in the main room to get up and inspect the situation.

Barret appeared behind Yuffie, grabbed her by the collar and forcibly moved her aside.

"Hey! I can handle myself-" began Yuffie.

Barret looked hard at her first. "You – be quiet." He turned to the door. "And you - leave."

Reno rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath. "Do none of you listen? We need to talk to you; we don't want any trouble either."

Barret scowled. "Ain't nothing I want to talk to you about."

Reno pulled out his trump card. "Did you guys get the book?"

Barret stopped and shook his head slightly. "I dunno what you talkin' 'bout."

Vincent moved next to Barret. "You sent it?"

"Can we come in now?" asked Reno.

Barret looked at Vincent who nodded.

Cloud was walking down the stairs as they came in. He stopped halfway and stared at the former Shinra employees. "What's going on?"

Reno looked up at Cloud. "Just thought we'd drop by for old time's sake, Strife."

"They sent the book," said Vincent, just loud enough for Cloud to hear.

"Let's drop the hostilities, huh? Give me ten minutes with Strife and you'll see we're on the same side as you," said Reno.

Cloud walked down the rest of the stairs and stood directly in front of Reno, looking straight into his eyes. After a moment he nodded slowly. "Alright. Ten minutes," he said.

"Not here. The restaurant at the inn," said Reno.

Reno turned and walked outside towards the inn with Cloud not far behind him. They walked in silence until they got to a table and sat down. Before any serious conversation could start, one of the waitresses came over.

"What ya fella's want?" she asked.

Cloud shook his head, indicating he didn't want anything.

"Beer," said Reno lazily without even looking away from Cloud's eyes.

Cloud waited until the waitress was gone before he began. "You sent us Gast's journal?"

"Yup."

"…Well?" asked Cloud.

Reno paused as the waitress clunked a glass bottle in front of him. He popped off the cap and took a long drink before he spoke in a low voice.

"Scarlett and Heidegger are still around and attempting to build Neo Shinra. And they have help. A copy of that book I sent you, and Hojo."

"He is alive then," said Cloud.

"Alive and very well. They have quite the team of scientists left over from the destruction of Shinra. No one else would even look at them, so where else did they go? Back to Hojo."

"What are they planning?"

"They want Neo Shinra to have all the power that the old Shinra had and then some. But outside of Neo Shinra, no one is going to want that. They all remember what happened last time."

"What does Gast's journal have to do with this?" asked Cloud.

Reno's voice dropped even lower. "They want a second 'calamity from the sky' – They're reconstructing the coming of Jenova. Only the disease it will carry is man-made, care of the Neo Shinra Biology Department. Who also, very conveniently, happens to be holding the antidote."

"And you…want to stop them?" asked Cloud.

Reno looked away from Cloud and clenched his jaw. A minute later he softened somewhat as he turned back. "How much do you know about Vincent Valentine?" he asked.

"…He was a former Turk sent with Gast, Hojo and Lucrecia to the Shinra Mansion during the Jenova Project. He was in love with Lucrecia, Lucrecia was in love with Hojo, and Hojo used her as his human guinea pig," said Cloud somewhat confused.

"He's still not over it. In fact, to him, everyday it's like those events just took place the day before, huh?"

"What are you getting at?" asked Cloud.

Reno sighed and played with the empty bottle in his hand in an almost nervous fashion. "The Turks were ordered to do things most people couldn't even fathom, Strife. But we did them, without question and without pause. Shinra…went through quite a few Turks before they realized people just can't take that sort of stuff for very long. So then they developed a serum called SL-91, under the direct supervision of Hojo of course. All Turks were given regular shots of that stuff. It - well I'm no scientist here - but it stuck to the emotion section of the brain. It gave Shinra control over our feeling of guilt and regret. It was considered not only one of the biggest achievements, but one of the most closely guarded secrets as well."

"Why are you telling me this?" asked Cloud.

Reno looked up at Cloud. "Because, it's why Mr. Valentine is the way he is, and why I want nothing more than to stop Neo Shinra even if it means working with you."

Cloud stared at Reno blankly, shaking his head slightly.

"It's been over a year since any of us have had an injection of SL-91, Strife. I can't explain what that does to you…at night I see things I have done just as clearly as if they were happening at that moment. But I don't get the benefit of having my feelings blocked. I feel everything. And it doesn't fade, and you don't get desensitized. It's just…always there."

"Vincent has been out of the Turks for over thirty years…" said Cloud softly.

"Can't blame him for wanting to shut himself away for so long. Guilt or no guilt, I want my payback. There will never be another Shinra."

…

Rude and Elena stood silently inside the house. Elena shifted from one leg to the other, trying not to think about the uncomfortable situation she was in. Rude scanned the room from behind his dark glasses. Everyone was glaring at the two from the opposite side of the room, except for a little girl sitting in the corner. Seeing that the man's head was turned in her direction, she smiled sweetly and waved. Rude quickly looked away.

Red was the first to speak. "You may sit down if you like," he offered.

"We're okay," said Rude in a monotone voice.

Finally, much to everyone's relief, Cloud and Reno came through the door. Everyone stared at the two, waiting for some answers.

Cloud coughed to clear his throat, noticing the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. "I'd suggest getting a little friendlier here, guys. Looks like we got some work to do…together."

To be continued…

A/N: Thank you so much to Sors and Kitty, my two faithful reviewers! Means a lot to me that people out there are actually reading it. (And liking it!)

So, hopefully this all makes sense…am I moving too fast or too slow? I mean it all makes sense to me, but I don't think I really count.

Chapter 4, "Reaching Out": What's Shinra up to? And what was Reeve doing in this chapter? And why is Rude always wearing those sunglasses?