Chapter 5: Goodbyes

Harry sat at his desk deep in thought. He was suppose to be writing letters to his friends and the order letting them know he would be going away for awhile. Harry couldn't believe he'd agreed to leave England and everything that he'd known. "Bloody hell, why did I agree to this. How do I know I'll be safe, she could be a death eater for crying out loud this could even be a trap and what do I do I just walked right into it like a lamb to the slaughter."

"Okay Harry get a hold of yourself. You know this is something that you need to do in order to take control of your life. So stop acting like such a pansy and just accept it. Besides you know damn well she is not a death eater. If she was she could have killed on countless occasions while you were walking in the park feeling sorry for yourself so get a grip and get on with it."

He felt a whole lot better after his little talk with himself. And he was certain that he had to do this so he began writing his letters.

Hey Ron,

Harry here just wanted to see how your holidays are going. Mine is going as usual except this time I don't have to worry about the Dursleys'. Ron you are my best mate so what I have to tell you now is not easy for me. I found out some things about myself after our little adventure at the ministry. I can't tell you exactly what just yet but I promise I will tell you as soon as I can. Anyway because of these revelations I have decided that it is time that I took control of my life. So I've decided to go away for a while to get everything straight. Don't worry about me mate I will be just fine. Sorry about the lack of information but I will bring you up to speed as soon as I can.

Harry

Dear Mrs. Weasley

First of all I want to say thank you for all that you have done for me over the years. You are the closest thing to a mother that I have and I do love you as if you were. So it is with great regret that I must inform you that due to the revelations of certain facts to me I must go away for a while in order to take control and deal with everything. I do not know where I will be going yet but I do know that I will be okay. Please don't worry too much about me for I will be back before you know it. Please inform the rest of the family of my decision for me. Finally I would like to say you all are the best thing that ever happened to me.

Harry

He hated that he couldn't tell her more. He knew she would worry even though he'd ask her not to. But he'd promised Amelia that he would not reveal any details until they were ready. His next letter was to his friend Hermione.

Hermione,

How are your holidays going in Rome? I hope you are having wonderful time. Try going to the beach at some point and don't read too much you know you are already smarter than most of the kids in school. Hermione I must tell you that after our little party at the ministry I found out some very interesting things about myself. I'm afraid I cannot reveal anything right now but trust that I will as soon as I can. With this said I must tell you that I am going away for a while. I do not know how long I will be gone but I will keep you posted as much as I can. Do not worry too much about me Hermione I will be fine and will see you soon.

Harry

Harry felt emotionally drained after writing his first three letters. He felt terrible not being able to tell the people that care about him the most what was going on, but he wouldn't risk this knowledge getting out before he was ready. Besides it was better this way. Harry shook his head and got out new parchment. No use dwelling on that now he had two more letters to write and then he had to pack. He had told Amelia that he would be ready to leave in the morning before he had a chance to back out. And so he began his fourth letter it was by far the hardest one. It was to Remus the only connection he had left to his parents and to Sirius.

Dear Remus,

I know you must be hurting as much as I am right now. I know what Sirius meant to you. He meant a whole lot to me too, he was going to be my family but he was taken away from us. I know that we haven't been that close but I would like it if we got to know each other better. That way we wont lose touch of our loved ones. You and I are the only connection each other have of the ones we love, and we should hold on to that. Remus there are a few things that I must say to you right now. After the battle at the ministry I found out a few things about myself that I have to come to terms with. So I am going away for a while, please do not worry about me I promise that I will be all right. This is something that I need to take care of on my own and will let you know how it all turns out when I'm done. I must go now but please keep in mind what I said and I will see you real soon.

Harry

Harry decided that he needed to write his last letter now before he lost his nerve. This one should be easier that the rest but it was still hard to do. He was confused about his feelings towards the man he once looked up to as a grandfather. On one hand he still respected him but on the other he had second thoughts about trusting him so he decided to make his letter short and to the point.

Professor Dumbledore

Due to the information you passed on to me at the end of term and the fact that I have not been given the resources needed, I've decided to take control of my own life. Do not try to contact me or waste any old folks club resources trying to locate me for I doubt that it will be successful. I will contact you when I believe that I am ready.

Mr. Potter

Harry placed all the letters in a neat pile on his desk and proceeded to pack his things, which wasn't hard since he had hardly unpacked after getting back from school. He was too excited to sleep so he practice some ti-chi moves that Amelia had shown him and then went to bed.